Deeply Attracted to a married woman twice my age. Need Help!

[bobby666]

I'm 22, she's 45. I'm a student, she's at the peak of her career. She's married and has a daughter 2 years younger than me. I met this woman while I needed some help regarding an issue. Someone gave me her number telling me she might be of help. We talked on the phone for 2-3 days and my issue was solved. After a while, she invited me at an informal meeting at her home, of like-minded people. That was the first time I met her. I was overwhelmed with her beauty and intelligence. We talked and I came back home at 3 pm thinking about her. At 9.30 pm, she texted me saying "It was great meeting you ". I texted back. She lives alone as her husband and daughter live in another city because of the husband's job.

In the weeks that followed we talked over the phone, texted, I attended more meetings and got a bit involved in her organisation. We texted at night, talked some fun stuff, but nothing directly sexual. Though she has sent suggestive texts but I'm not able to understand how she feels about me or what she really wants out of this.

But things go beyond this. It was she who always started the conversation or texting session. Initially, I was only interested in sex but things have changed. Now, she's on my mind all the time. I think about her when I go to sleep, she's the first thought when I wake up. Her beauty, intelligence, her maturity, no girl of my age can match that. I'm obsessed with her. I dont know what to do. Some may say I'm in love, but the thought of that is scary. In the meetings, I cant stop staring at her, I think she noticed it a few times. For me, she's the only person in the room, rest dont matter. I dont' know what to do. Should I pursue her? or should I let her initiate things? I get a feeling that she might not do anything even if she's attracted to me. In that case, should I do something about this? Any help would be appreciated, thanks!!

[insanityjlh426]

Honestly, the way your thoughts are racing through your head, logic would side with keeping your mouth shut and letting her initiate things. Until you can approach things in a very cool, direct manner, don't. It will push her away because chances are that, while she could be attracted to you, chances are she doesn't see it to the extent that you do.

[bobby666]

Honestly, the way your thoughts are racing through your head, logic would side with keeping your mouth shut and letting her initiate things. Until you can approach things in a very cool, direct manner, don't. It will push her away because chances are that, while she could be attracted to you, chances are she doesn't see it to the extent that you do.

Thanks for your suggestion!! Whatever my thoughts are, but I'm really cool with her and I'm in no rush. Lets see what happens. I'm wondering if I can drop signs that are subtle enough to not push her away but suggestive enough to deliver the message. Thanks again!!

[kurent]

You're falling for her and this can't work. You'll end up with a broken heart and it's going to hurt. She is NOT on the same page as you, she has different intentions, she doesn't see you like that, she is waaaay further in life then you and you two can only work as friends or FWB. But in the end your heart will be broken.

[insanityjlh426]

Thanks for your suggestion!! Whatever my thoughts are, but I'm really cool with her and I'm in no rush. Lets see what happens. I'm wondering if I can drop signs that are subtle enough to not push her away but suggestive enough to deliver the message. Thanks again!!

I would resort to indirect flirting. There could be a subject being discussed, and you can make a comment that can come off as relevant to what is being discussed but also has a subliminal message that only the woman would catch. Has to be something that only SHE can catch. When I was 19 I ended up hooking up with my 35 year old boss, but it took about 2-3 months of solid work. I started off with an indirect flirting, but she knew it was happening because she would take me off to the side and make comments like "I know you're flirting, and you need to stop!" She would say it with a smile, which obviously meant she wasn't opposed to the remarks. She would also make it a point to clarify that she was my boss and I was her subordinate, and I would smile in acknowledgement. Eventually, I would flirt with her a little more openly, but not to the point where it would be completely obvious. Other people would laugh, but never catch on. Eventually, we went out a couple times, and that is where the real games began. It took a lot of work, but in the end, I got a very nice Christmas present, lol...no seriously, it happened from the night of 12/24 to early morning 12/25, lol.

[bobby666]

You're falling for her and this can't work. You'll end up with a broken heart and it's going to hurt. She is NOT on the same page as you, she has different intentions, she doesn't see you like that, she is waaaay further in life then you and you two can only work as friends or FWB. But in the end your heart will be broken.

Thanks Kurent! Now that I think of it, maybe I'm fine with fwb, maybe thats what I should look forward to. I think I gotta give this some time. Thanks again!

[bobby666]

I would resort to indirect flirting. There could be a subject being discussed, and you can make a comment that can come off as relevant to what is being discussed but also has a subliminal message that only the woman would catch. Has to be something that only SHE can catch. When I was 19 I ended up hooking up with my 35 year old boss, but it took about 2-3 months of solid work. I started off with an indirect flirting, but she knew it was happening because she would take me off to the side and make comments like "I know you're flirting, and you need to stop!" She would say it with a smile, which obviously meant she wasn't opposed to the remarks. She would also make it a point to clarify that she was my boss and I was her subordinate, and I would smile in acknowledgement. Eventually, I would flirt with her a little more openly, but not to the point where it would be completely obvious. Other people would laugh, but never catch on. Eventually, we went out a couple times, and that is where the real games began. It took a lot of work, but in the end, I got a very nice Christmas present, lol...no seriously, it happened from the night of 12/24 to early morning 12/25, lol.

This seems like great advise! I've done indirect flirting with her once and you're right, she also told me to stop but with a smile...laughed it off. Didnt look like she was opposed to it at all!

[insanityjlh426]

This seems like great advise! I've done indirect flirting with her once and you're right, she also told me to stop but with a smile...laughed it off. Didnt look like she was opposed to it at all!

In that case, just give it a little bit of time. Eventually she will either come up to you and initiate something...or, there might be enough of a comfort zone for you to be able to invite her out for an innocent drink. No emphasis added because it is to be treated EXACTLY that way...INNOCENT! Now, if she tries to make a move during that outing, all bets are off, ENJOY! But let her be in control, without losing control yourself.

[Efilon]

Edit: Sorry.

(But seriously though, this looks like a copy of a troll thread I saw less than a week ago)

[bobby666]

Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4
Rep Power: 0

And your point is? Yes I'm new to the forum and please dont bother if you have nothing to contribute.

[bobby666]

In that case, just give it a little bit of time. Eventually she will either come up to you and initiate something...or, there might be enough of a comfort zone for you to be able to invite her out for an innocent drink. No emphasis added because it is to be treated EXACTLY that way...INNOCENT! Now, if she tries to make a move during that outing, all bets are off, ENJOY! But let her be in control, without losing control yourself.

Really grateful for all the advise, mate!! Cheers!

[DMere123]

Good luck and be sure to update the misc OP. I got a thing for milfs as well

[FatSoccerPlayer]

No one cares that this woman has a husband and daughter?

[bobby666]

Good luck and be sure to update the misc OP. I got a thing for milfs as well

Sure, Man!! I'll update anything that happens!

[bobby666]

No one cares that this woman has a husband and daughter?

Why dont you elaborate on this?

[FU3L]

First of all - she's married, has two kids, and is twice your age, wtf are you even doing obsessing over this nonsense?

Regardless, the most you should expect out of this is a lay. A relationship is pretty much out of the question (unless she has mental issues of some sort), she is waaaay further along than you with life/family/career/essentially everything. There's really just no way it would work.

[FatSoccerPlayer]

Why dont you elaborate on this?

How does this story end? Probably with divorce, the kid in a broken home bouncing between two bitter households. Regardless of whether it would happen anyway or not do you really want to be the enabler so you can get a few nuts? srs

[CHOOSE]

No one cares that this woman has a husband and daughter?

So much this. OP, lay off man. No reason to go full potato and be a home wrecker, regardless of how strong your feelings are towards this woman.

[poolshark472]

wake up dude. there's no future in this and you are treading in dangerous territory.

[bobby666]

First of all - she's married, has two kids, and is twice your age, wtf are you even doing obsessing over this nonsense?

Regardless, the most you should expect out of this is a lay. A relationship is pretty much out of the question (unless she has mental issues of some sort), she is waaaay further along than you with life/family/career/essentially everything. There's really just no way it would work.

Hey, you're right about all that but what to do? I cant run away from her and when I meet her, I just revives the obsession. But thanks for the help!

[bobby666]

How does this story end? Probably with divorce, the kid in a broken home bouncing between two bitter households. Regardless of whether it would happen anyway or not do you really want to be the enabler so you can get a few nuts? srs

I'm not looking that far. Its too far fetched, I dont want that so its off the table. Maybe there can be "no strings attached" and no one gets to know anything about it.

[bobby666]

So much this. OP, lay off man. No reason to go full potato and be a home wrecker, regardless of how strong your feelings are towards this woman.

Do you think if something does happen, it cannot remain a secret? If no one knows about it but the two of us, no home would be wrecked.

[bobby666]

wake up dude. there's no future in this and you are treading in dangerous territory.

Yeah, this is definitely dangerous territory but maybe I'm not even looking for a future.

[davesterrr]

Dude don't do it. Just think of this:
Right now you're 22 and she's 45. That means when you're 44, she's gonna be 90!
Find someone younger bro.

[poolshark472]

Yeah, this is definitely dangerous territory but maybe I'm not even looking for a future.

yeah i get that you're not looking for a future. you are a kid that's thinking with his dick and you should be prepared for the worst. if you fukked up this woman's marriage and family permanently, could you live with yourself?

[bobby666]

Dude don't do it. Just think of this:
Right now you're 22 and she's 45. That means when you're 44, she's gonna be 90!
Find someone younger bro.

Dude, I appreciate your suggestion but please get the math right. When I'll be 22+22=44, she'll be 45+22=67. Simple math.

[bobby666]

yeah i get that you're not looking for a future. you are a kid that's thinking with his dick and you should be prepared for the worst. if you fukked up this woman's marriage and family permanently, could you live with yourself?

Man, you've got me thinking, but, its hard to let go. Its a funny situation I've gotten myself into.

[jinda628]

Honestly? Dont be stupid OP.
Its plain and simple. She is still married with children. I dont know what kind of business you have with her but I'm just assuming its professional like psych consultation or similar. If I'm right then you maybe misjudging her treatment of you and it could be just part of her program.

If ever she is really attracted to you, would you allow having an affair knowing you can be the reason for destroying her family/marriage? You are so young bro, go look for someone your age and without complications.

Sometimes I'm not sure if the misc is becoming so stupid. Those advises... The fuk?

[davesterrr]

Dude, I appreciate your suggestion but please get the math right. When I'll be 22+22=44, she'll be 45+22=67. Simple math.

On a real level here, you can date any girl who's single, has a bf, engaged etc.
When they get married, it gets a little bit more icky.
But when a woman has a husband and kids, then it's just plain wrong.
Doesn't matter if she's a sloot or if her husbands a dick.
Long story short, when they break up, their kids will have a ruined childhood/future.
Is getting laid with a milf really that worth it?
That's something only you and your morals can decide.

[runningback25]

Best thing to do is. Keep on talking bases and wait it out . God will lead the path out in front of you. But man u never know when your last day is just live it up and see what happens.

Im serious !