The Journey That I Always Give Up On

[Codylawson]

So I thought id come and right down my thoughts and stuff here, in a journal forum.

I always give up.. I want to make progress, but working out to me is always a phase, everything in my life is a phase, that i just repeat after so long. I'll play an online game for a few months, then ill play another, ill go to the gym for a month and burn myself out. It's always the same crap with me im tired of it. I'v always had a problem with this. Truth is, i'll prob write in this journal a few times, and give up. I like getting comments, but when i dont, i figure no one cares and i lose motivation. Well its going to change. Im writing this for me. so ill know in a few months ill come back and be like " this is were it all changed "

Not even 15 minutes ago i stumbled on a bb.com member who made really good progress. 6 months and he went from my weight, to what i want to look like. 6 months. i can hardly eat healthy for a week before im at mcdo's.

I see everyones else's progress and im going, wow just imagine if i can get those progress's too, id get the attention from it, and keep me motivated. Im lucky enough to have great friends who support me in everything i do. I have obviously lost weight, i can see it. Well let me rephrase that.

Since june of 2010 ( year i graduated ) i lost no weight, however my body has shaped over this year. I got broader shoulders, face shapened, and kinda looks like i got skinnier. Which makes me happy, obviously anyone would be happy with that. But now i want to make some real progress. I want to have muscle definition, eyes widen, mouth droping ridged muscles that make my friends who used to call me fat jealous.

Before you think, im just doing this for everyone else im not. I noticed around age 15 that every year i was gaining 10 lbs. so i went from 150,160,170.180,190,200. Here i am now. Over the past couple years i went from my highest 210, to where i am not 185 ( roughly)

That's a pretty good drop isnt it? I dont see the difference. Im not short, im 6.2 so im a tall man, with a little tit problem and a small gut that could be worse. Im obsessed with pecs, looooove them. Abs, hmm sure, but i aint stressing. I dont workout my abs much. Honestly, a lot of guys work them 3 times a week. Thats bull****. its a muscle group like the rest, work it out once a week, with heavy weight. Thats my opinion.

I started my workout regime last monday ( july 11, 2011 ) and i have weighed myself everyday since, im giving up on that, because im already lost my motivation.. like common really? 4 days and i expect progress? bulI hate it. i want change so bad so if i dont see change i give up.

the whole reason im writing this is just to let out my workout stress and just get it all out on the table. I know my problems, and i want to fix them. i guess this is my way to just express my problems, if anyone is reading this, sorry lol.

im going to look at more fat people becoming skinny. Thanks for reading.

Comment if you want.