******������******The Official Copypasta Thread******������******

[FawkinJuicyBrah]

I'm fuc*ed, misc.

I don't work at your typical workplace. We've fully embraced a liberal environment - which includes bathrooms. We don't have the usual 'MEN' and 'WOMEN' bathrooms - we have 'UNISEX' bathrooms. For those who want a little extra privacy there is always the handicap bathroom that locks downstairs.

I used to think it was pretty cool having chicks and guys use the same washroom. Something oddly turns me on about hearing a woman pee right next to me. After today - I have completely changed my tune on unisex bathrooms! I had been holding my piss in for so long that my bladder was about to burst. As soon as I got a spare moment I ran, hopped, skipped to the bathroom as fast as I could (imagine me trying to run to the bathroom trying not to piss my pants). I darted in to the first empty stall, let my pants drop to my knees and let loose. My bladder was so full that I was pushing (forcing the piss out) in heavy squirts as fast and furious as possible when all of the sudden (bc of my forced pushing) a fukkin little round hard turd literally flew out of my ass and rolled into the stall next to me. I prayed nobody was in there but when I looked down I saw these little black heels and I knew it was my very good looking boss. HOLY SH*T. My little brown turd was just sitting next to her feet. She must have seen it - she was sitting there on the toilet - what else was there to look at?

My only hope is that she was texting or something and didn't see it. What do misc?

[TheAesthetics]

Some people train their whole bodies, while other people target one or two muscle groups at a given training session. Recently, I have developed a similar style of approach when it comes to bodily hygiene. For my entire life, I have been washing my entire body. I must have reached a plateau because in recent years I've plateaued in terms of hygiene because people have been telling me that my armpits smell a lot worse than my traps and calves, and my anus more oily than my face. So to make progress, I've been switching things up now by splitting up my body parts when I shower, as I soup up, scrub, wash, and dry each body part for 30 minutes intricately while varying in types of strokes, speed, techniques, tools, soap and shampoo.

This is the new cycle this month:
Monday : Anus (dynamic circles)
Tuesday: Fingers and Toes (back and forth repetitions)
Wednesday: Armpits (diagonally)
Thursday : Penis and Low Back (max effort taps)
Friday : Chest (slow controlled until skin rips)
Saturday : Stomach (with a spotter, usually my maid)
Sunday : Off

As you can see, I've neglected some parts. Hey, some people never train legs. I mean legs can be covered by washing other parts like when I wash my crotch and pubes and the water and the soap drip down to the legs to clean it. Kind of like targeting your chest with bench, but your triceps get worked out too.

[heatbags]

Some people train their whole bodies, while other people target one or two muscle groups at a given training session. Recently, I have developed a similar style of approach when it comes to bodily hygiene. For my entire life, I have been washing my entire body. I must have reached a plateau because in recent years I've plateaued in terms of hygiene because people have been telling me that my armpits smell a lot worse than my traps and calves, and my anus more oily than my face. So to make progress, I've been switching things up now by splitting up my body parts when I shower, as I soup up, scrub, wash, and dry each body part for 30 minutes intricately while varying in types of strokes, speed, techniques, tools, soap and shampoo.

This is the new cycle this month:
Monday : Anus (dynamic circles)
Tuesday: Fingers and Toes (back and forth repetitions)
Wednesday: Armpits (diagonally)
Thursday : Penis and Low Back (max effort taps)
Friday : Chest (slow controlled until skin rips)
Saturday : Stomach (with a spotter, usually my maid)
Sunday : Off

As you can see, I've neglected some parts. Hey, some people never train legs. I mean legs can be covered by washing other parts like when I wash my crotch and pubes and the water and the soap drip down to the legs to clean it. Kind of like targeting your chest with bench, but your triceps get worked out too.

lol I saw this off of frank yangs ******** feed. too funny

[iamdetermined]

someone post funny ones to send to girls about being in love with them since preschool or some weird sh*t like that...or some really WK essay type thing

[jmcdizzle44]

how big were your balls at the time? how hard was your dick from the smell? was their a lot of yellow stain? how good did it smell(in terms of panties)? how big was your load?

Also i have a HUGEEE pantie fetish lol. Ive done some things im not proud of to sniff dirty panties. Older women have the best smells imo
but ive yet to get a pair of sweaty gym shorts or panties :/ feelsbadman

[Alfha]

You guys are plain pathetic. OP makes a thread wanting to fuk with a girl for no reason at all. She never did anything to him other than try to make ******** friends. What's funny is you all neg me and call me a virgin, when clearly you are all the ones that are butthurt and taking all of your anger out on women because none of them want to have sex with you.

Why would you even want to fuk with this girl at all? What did she do to you? Try putting yourself in her shoes, flip the roles around. Imagine if for merely trying to add a girl to ********, she ridiculed you and had hundreds of people fuk with your emotions and bring you down. What justification do you guys have for this, does inflicting pain on innocent people actually make you happy, and if so what does that say about you?

I have a much better idea, I make a thread on OP's ******** "troll" account which she provided me with. I ruin his life the best I can and we all get lulz from that! I mean, OP has nothing to worry about anyways. He claims it is a troll account lmao!
Isn't that funnier? Messing up a vindictive loser's life rather than some innocent person who did nothing wrong. I'm gonna take a nap so lemme know back when and ill decide when I wake up.

[EXV]

I do not like the picture at all, — in fact I cannot find words to express how much I dislike it.

You were never physically attractive to me; you are neither graceful nor beautiful, and you evidently know nothing of the laws or properties of beauty. Otherwise you could not have sent me such a picture, as it could only disgust me.

Whatever liking I have had for you, it has never been of such a character that I could be otherwise than disgusted by such a picture as that. It is unutterably coarse and gross and beefy. It is simply unendurable.

Not that I object to low dresses — or even to an utter absence of dress, when the unveiling reveals attractions which the eye of the artist loves as something shapely and beautiful. I have an instinctive and cultivated knowledge of what physical beauty is, and anything in direct violation of my taste and knowledge — like your picture, — simply sickens me. I have studied every limb and line in the bodies of fifty young women, and more; and know what form is and beauty is. You must not think me a fool. You are a fine woman in regard to health and strength; you are not a handsome or even a tolerably good looking woman physically, and your picture is simply horrible, horrible, horrible.

This is plain speaking; but I think it is necessary for you. You cannot make yourself physically attractive to me. Don't try. I am an artist, a connoisseur, a student of beauty, and it is very hard to please me. Don't disgust me, please —

Yours truly,

[bilaba70]

I do not like the picture at all, — in fact I cannot find words to express how much I dislike it.

You were never physically attractive to me; you are neither graceful nor beautiful, and you evidently know nothing of the laws or properties of beauty. Otherwise you could not have sent me such a picture, as it could only disgust me.

Whatever liking I have had for you, it has never been of such a character that I could be otherwise than disgusted by such a picture as that. It is unutterably coarse and gross and beefy. It is simply unendurable.

Not that I object to low dresses — or even to an utter absence of dress, when the unveiling reveals attractions which the eye of the artist loves as something shapely and beautiful. I have an instinctive and cultivated knowledge of what physical beauty is, and anything in direct violation of my taste and knowledge — like your picture, — simply sickens me. I have studied every limb and line in the bodies of fifty young women, and more; and know what form is and beauty is. You must not think me a fool. You are a fine woman in regard to health and strength; you are not a handsome or even a tolerably good looking woman physically, and your picture is simply horrible, horrible, horrible.

This is plain speaking; but I think it is necessary for you. You cannot make yourself physically attractive to me. Don't try. I am an artist, a connoisseur, a student of beauty, and it is very hard to please me. Don't disgust me, please —

Yours truly,

Fawk, came in to post this.

[sakaz]

not sure if already posted:


lol i thought that was real lol hahaha im 15 and my cock is 8in long and 2 and a half wide i ****ed my girl and she told me it was to long and fat i hate waring skini geans because my cock shows the bumps and everthing. was on the bus one day and my friend sat next to me ans asked me how much i weight and i told him 130 and he poked my stomic and i was having a boner and i was wearing shorts with boxers and i showed and he goes in a wisper voice are you having a boner. i said no its just big

[MiscN00b]

I have been masturbating for some years now. 100's of times in fact. This means that I know everything about my penis; from how it responds to certain movements and techniques to certain speeds and consistencies. I can make myself climax quickly or I can stretch myself for a marathon. Basically I am a master in the art of giving myself a handjob.

Therefore, when I am getting a hand-party from a girl, in my head I am constantly comparing her technique to mine and critiquing it. It's gotten to the point where I am not focusing on the pleasure of getting fondled by a heavenly blessed beauty.

Because when it comes to masturbating myself, I am king.

[bilaba70]

Badumpabump

[janky]

Man I'm glad you pointed that out, because I never would have known that nor seen that exact comment posted elsewhere in any of the preceding 3 threads. Seriously man, thanks for being such a great help and directing me to the original site where more hilarity will await me and misdirect my otherwise productive day. I was lost momentarily in a sea of plagiarized pictures and I wondered (and these were my exact words) if there was actually a place somewhere in the abysmal void of pornography and memes known as the internet where these pictures could be found. I was about to give up but alas, you chimed in with your infinite wisdom and showed me the light.

Once again, just in case you didn't get the message, thanks for being a helpful poster and just an all-round nice guy. Have a great day

[EXV]

haha. thats very true in majority of relationships. but i didnot find my Girl yet. & Man, if i find that Special Gorgeous princess, i would like to have a Dream Love story where there will Not be any fight & just love, Unlike others. hehe. Hope it becomes true. Thanks Bro.

[OnlyCarnage]

A girl with huge boobs is playing video games on the couch. shes wearing a star wars shirt that is so small that her huge boobs look huger. I come in ona skateboard and do a sweet ollie over the couch while drinking a mountian dew. i am looking pretty cool with a mohawk and shades. "Thats awesome and youre awesome", she says. "Sup", i say. She thinkgs that im cool so we make out with tongues. Its ...so awesome even though its kinda gross. Shes hot so its not gross. We tongue kiss for at least 3 hours and i can hear sonic music in the background because thats what she was playing. She loves sonic. It was the casino level. She decides that it would be cool to play sonic while making out. "Aight", i say, brushing my mohawk with a switch blade comb. "I love you." I decide that its time to go all the way. I stick my hand up her shirt and grab a boob. Second base at last. It feels like jelly.

[TriicepsBrah]

Internet Troll Help
The first step to dealing with trolls is learning how to recognize them. The following traits are clues:
Does the person ask the same questions worded in different ways? Does the person ignore suggestions or responses from other members of the community? If the community has a frequently asked question (FAQ) section, does the person seemingly refuse to read it?
Has the person posted inflammatory remarks that have no real substance to them?
Does he or she make it a habit to post messages that include insults and vulgar language?
Does he or she respond to other members in a purely negative, critical way?
Does the person post messages that are generally off-topic? Does he or she seem to want only attention rather than discuss the topic at hand?
Does the person resurrect old conversations or discussions that were once controversial within the community? Some trolls enjoy bringing back old arguments to encourage dissent within a group.
When confronted with a counter argument, does the person in question change tactics rather than answer the points made by another member? Does the person employ logical fallacies within their posts?
If the answer to these questions is yes, there's a good chance you're dealing with a troll. Whether the member is consciously trying to troll the community or not is another matter. There are times when even respected members of an online community might behave like a troll. But if it's a new member who is very active and displays these qualities, you've probably got a real troll on your hands.

misc drama here i come

[youngbuckets5]

well one time in 1st grade, there was this boy named jorge, jorge wasnt totally acclimated to american culture yet, and he always acted kinda tropical if you know what i mean lol, well one day, jorge grabs my hand in spanish class (we were salsa dancing, i get tons of girls lol so dont worry, i just didnt feel like dancing lol) well this sounds kinda gay but i just felt this need to indulge jorge in this, so to everyones surprise, we start dancing, now jorge starts gettin kinda into it, and the whole class is watching and trying not to laugh, now i start sweating, well this boy jorge kisses me on the cheek and class starts going awwwwww, man rough times in grade school

[GMachPK]

No one posted the copypasta about the guy in college with the room mate with a massive cawk. G/F comes over, ends up phucking the room mate. Bonrar is always acheived with that 1.

[bilaba70]

NUM NUM 10% bf Ima fatty, are you mad??? I been lifting 3 months and it took you over 3 years?

One thing is for sure, I can see what sits on top of the refrigerator and don't need to move my American sports car seat up to reach the pedals.

[jmcdizzle44]

Alex and reecce and josh wanker and Jason cassie shag ur moms silly muther fukers u think u bad fuking pranking saying ive fuked uve fuked big time from the boys u muther fukers u think u can fuk with me and my family u are fuking getting lifted tonight shag ur mom u raceisted muther fukers have fuked it big time vera I slug u think u can fuk with me and kuil ur fuking familys getting killed tonight danny u muther fuker ur going to see ur dad in a fuking coffin I am fuking connexted all over fuk u all haters ive fuking got money and cars plush fuking place when fuking thugs cry remember I am living like a thug out law big time thig for fuking life o don’t give fuk I am jagga the soldier no matter were u go ull hear my name jagga in ur sleep ull fuking hear my name jagga no matter were u go ull hear my name jagga ull keep hearing my name jagga so much ull end up cry so much ull kill ur selfs I ve been shot 309 times strill breathing proif there allah there to save soldier for life I am so fuking strong soldier for fuking life ive fuking gone crazy kill 100 poepl fuk all u haters muther fuker get in my fuking way any muther fukers cant calme me down ill kill any muther fuker get in my fuking way any muther fuker fuks with me or gets fuking funny or acteds bad or disrespected full ill fuking cume looking for the with fuking gun and muther fuking kill them on the spot like I did to lasted muther fukers uve all fuked big tine if u muther fuker cant be fuking nice or be diss respected full or don’t fuking comment at all no muther fucers love or cares or fuking stroke u all heartless muther fukers its on ur bastardeds fault for pissing me off shag ur mums pussy kunts ill fight us any day u muther fukers low life bastarded I don’t care about any muther fukers or fuking dieiing I am a fuking brave soldier jagga fuk u all fuking wankers pussy whloea

[Vindicate]

subbing for later use

[bilaba70]

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a hugeship on your shoulder .In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it�s a peach of cake.

[bilaba70]

Whole family and i go to celebrate new years at family gathering, of course she has to wear short skirt and revealing shirt, we give up on her so we say nothing, of course gay little brother has to say "fabulous outfit svetlana" she say thank u then bend over in front of us and mother has to slap father so he not look. we arrive at family gathering and instantly i see ****phile uncle look at her and brother, she look back with sex eyes. all family start drinking but sister drink most because she think it will abort child but she need to go to clinic.

Halfway through she stand up on table and start dance, whole family can see her ovaries area and is shock and we try to get her down, she say "I will be pleasure for men for money u cannot stop me!" father say i sick of this and grabs her by the leg and walks out door with her as she get skin rash from cement floor, he throw her out and uncle chase after, i stop uncle and give him kick to testes with steel toe boot. everybody start cry but i also see in corner of eye little brother being touched on penis by older homosexual cousin, i say fuk this i not intervene and i leave house.

[Brz]

No one posted the copypasta about the guy in college with the room mate with a massive cawk. G/F comes over, ends up phucking the room mate. Bonrar is always acheived with that 1.

In to read this.

[bilaba70]

No one posted the copypasta about the guy in college with the room mate with a massive cawk. G/F comes over, ends up phucking the room mate. Bonrar is always acheived with that 1.

This thread isn't very popular

[Short_of_aus]

This thread isn't very popular

It was a good idea just need more awares to post the funnt chit they find

Bump.

[bilaba70]

Do you even make an effort to stimulate myofibrillar hypertrophy by inducing skeletal muscle microtrauma?
ya pal... I bet you've never lifted a day in your life if you made a statement like this. Anyone can emphasize with this situation that is a regular lifter whenever we're trying to limit our 1.5 hours in the gym, and are instead bossed around by some out of shape older lady that will never look good because she will never have a winner mind-set and will always carry that "babby fat" she claims she has. I've seen your kind around the gym a time or two... You get on the treadmill at 2.5 mph for 20-30 min, pretend like you're working out, but are really just staring at the 14 yr old high school girls in front of you, in which case you'll fap when you get home to your miserable life with your out of shape hog of a wife who will reject your advances on her later in the evening. Yea... I've seen your type a thousand times. Ambition is your goal, but ****gy time is your soul. Try walking a mile in my footsteps when you squat until you puke, and then come at me bro... All talk and never anyway to back it up, my 72 year old grandmother is like that. Do us all a favor and grow up and learn your place at the gym.

[lurkmore]

I never bought any of that "size matters" crap until my junior year in college. I lived in the dorms with two roommates, David and John. David was a pretty ordinary looking guy, kinda quiet - but John was tall, lean, muscular and (according to him anyway) was hung like a bull. He used to joke about it a lot - even around my girlfriend, Amy. Amy was a sophomore and was petite, shy and somewhat quiet. I didn't like it when John would make his "big dick" comments and jokes around Amy, but she told me she didn't pay any attention to him and truth be told, she really couldn't stand John.

I have a 5.5" dick and with Amy being so petite, it always seemed to do the trick. I was only the third guy she'd ever been with and only her second boyfriend - maybe my guard was just down but who knows.

Anyway, one Friday night, Amy and I were hanging out in my dorm room drinking, smoking some weed and watching TV. David and John had both gone home for the weekend - or so we thought. At about 1AM (Amy and I were pretty toasted by then), John walked in. He'd ended up hanging out with some of his friends off campus and had decided to just drive home in the morning since his parents only lived about an hour and a half away.

He could see that Amy and I were both pretty hammered. He grabbed a beer and sat down and we smoked somem more weed with him. Amy was pretty drunk and started giving John ****. John seemed to get a kick out of it and I could see him kinda flirting with Amy. Then I noticed (and hoped that Amy wouldn't) that John wasn't wearing any underwear.

But Amy started massaging my dick through my jeans and being so ****ed up, I just laid my head back and enjoyed it - I couldn't believe she was doing that right in front of John! I heard John get up to pass Amy the joint we were smoking and I heard her gasp, long and deep and she suddenly stopped stroking my dick. I opened my eyes and saw John standing righ tin front of Amy with a HUGE ****ing bulge in his pants - just inches from her face. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

He just stood there and I could feel her hand tremble and hear her breathing quicken. when she slowly looked up at him, almost in awe and respect, I could feel my heart start to pound in my chest. Then she softly whispered "ohhhhhhhhhhh" as she gingerly reached up to brush her finger tips across that massive knot in his pants. When she touched it, it throbbed - **** I could see it throb thorugh his pants - Amy just gasped again and looked up at him.

"What?" John asked her and just kinda laughed. Amy did NOT laugh. Instead, she softly asked "can i see it?" John stopped laughing, looked at her very seriously and told her to take it out. Amy never even hesitated - or looked back at me for an "OK" - just just obeyed him and began to open his jeans. I coudl see her nipples rock hard under her t-shirt and I could tell she was practically panting.

She opened his jeans and his big thick dick just fell out...and he had NOT been kidding. That cock was strong, thick, heavy and muscular. The head was a big purple mushroom that sat on top of the thickest shaft i'd ever seen. He was semi-hard and was HUGE compared to me. Amy just gasped and kept whispering "ohmygod..ohmygod...ohmygod". When she wrapped her hand around it, her brow just knotted in disbelief and she almost laughed at how thick he was - her fingers couldn't even touch.

John just stood there watching my girlfriend worship his magnificent cock. Slowly shaking her head in disbelief, she two-fisted him - one hand next to the other...and there was STILL a few inches left - and he was getting rock hard, too.

Amy smiled and patted the couch next to her and John sat down, his cock standing straight up. Honestly he had to be almost 10" (judging from the size of Amy's hand). I opened my pants and took my own cock out. Amy took my cock in her left hand and John's in her right - but there was little doubt whose cock was getting more attention. She couldn't take her eyes off his cock and her hand only occasionally stroked my dick...but John's she pumped with long, purposeful strokes until she finally couldn't help herself any longer and knelt in front of him, kissing his cock and rubbing it against her soft pale skin.

She sucked his dick until SHE came - just from sucking him! I stroked the whole time until he pulled her toward him, peeled off her pants (she didnt even make the slightest attempt to stop him) and sat her on his lap, her back to his chest - the two of them right next to me. She just rolled her head back to kiss him as he squeezed her tits through her shirt. Her hands went down and pushed that big cock against her pussy and she groaned so loud when it touched her that I thought people outside would hear.

John's dick was so ****ing big that he easily penetrated her from behind with her sitting on his lap. She arched up so she could take as much of it as she could and they started to **** right there next to me. It shocked me how easily her petite little body accomodated that horse cock of his. John pounded her in positions that i physically CANNOT do for over an hour - I have no idea how many times she came - she was even in tears a few times (though she never once told him to stop).

He asked her if she was on the pill and when she said she was on the patch, he told her that he was going to cum inside of her to mark her - which only made her cum again! when he finally came, he had Amy on her back, her legs shaking violently as they both came together - and true to his word, John dumped his seed deep up inside my girlfriend's pussy right in front of me. But **** - he didn't even lose his damn hard on! They ****ed for about another 40 minutes and he came twice more. Amy was a wreck by the time we all went to bed.

I will never forget the look on her face - like she was afraid of him and in love with him all at once - the whole time they ****ed. She later told me that there were no words to describe it - it was incredible but even that didn't seem enough. To my knowledge they never ****ed again and Amy and I dated for about another year before we finally broke up. I always wondered if she ended up with him or some other big dick guy.

But one thing I know for sure - she NEVER ****ed me like she did John and the things she said about John - the way she looked at him - and the way she was around him after that night (almost shy and meek) convinced me that a big dick makes a difference.

Amy told me that she "HAD to respect him" even if she didn't like him...and that she almost felt like he "had a right to her". So there ya go.

[Zaneseed]

Man I'm glad you pointed that out, because I never would have known that nor seen that exact comment posted elsewhere in any of the preceding 3 threads. Seriously man, thanks for being such a great help and directing me to the original site where more hilarity will await me and misdirect my otherwise productive day. I was lost momentarily in a sea of plagiarized pictures and I wondered (and these were my exact words) if there was actually a place somewhere in the abysmal void of pornography and memes known as the internet where these pictures could be found. I was about to give up but alas, you chimed in with your infinite wisdom and showed me the light.

Once again, just in case you didn't get the message, thanks for being a helpful poster and just an all-round nice guy. Have a great day

LOL my post made it into this thread.

Feelsgoodman

[RoadToAesthetic]

Did not look to see if its posted but here is a word doc with over 30 pages of copypasta

http://www.mediafire.com/?abh55xarg1t1z8t

Enjoy

[bilaba70]

Don't laugh at me.....I make up fake ******** accounts and add them to my friends list so that my "friends" and co-workers think I have friends. I also make fake accounts about girls so that my friends think that I am alpha.

fake guy account: What up dawg, lets hang out this weekend. The guys wanna go out and holla at the ladies! Are you in?
Me reply: I might have some plans already with some other friends but I'll holla back bro.
(feels good if this was true)

fake girl account: Hey you! Thanks for the add and next time you pick the movie to watch because I'm horrible at picking movies. See you this weekend.
Me reply: LOL, I had a good time too so for sure!
(ahhhh, would feel good if this was real life)

....don't laugh at me.