ridiculous lies you've told chicks

[Caesium]

what she really meant to say was:

things guys told me that turned out to be a huge lie bc im a slut:

-you're cute.
-it was fun talking to you.
-ill call/txt you later.

why you mad



































































18

[Ravishing_Rick]

im friends with chris brown



got noods
100+ noods

i feel bad for lying

[REZAA]

I got an english PhD and working on a business degree....umirin? She was.

Age: 20











































lmao.

[Sebenza]

Was in Bali last summer and was chilling and talking to this hbb at some dive bar, she barely spoke English and asked me what I did for a living. Told her I was New Zealand SAS and since I had a lot of scars (from being an active kid) so I was telling her how this one I got from a knife (fell from a tree) and this one was shrapnel (tripped and hit my head on a metal post) and this was a bullet hole (lol shoulder surgery). Bish bought it hook, line and sinker.

Started making out in the toilets when I felt a phucking mountain of bush under dat dere panties. Told her to wait here while I ran out for a condom, went back to hotel and watched Cops the entire night.

100% serial.

[lauder]

Told a girl I went to Harvard and I was visiting Brisbane on my holiday, lmao. dunno how i pulled that one off.

[Cockslammington]

Dolphin Trainer from Sydney. 60% of the time, it works everytime.

[roronoa3000]

i had 24 hours to live and I didnt want to die a virgin.....she didnt care

[Frozt69]

Told her I was a bullfighter and she believed me lmao

When she asked to come see me in the arena I said "Sorry, going to Spain for a few weeks to practice". Worth it but willnotdoagain.

[roms15]

told a girl i was zyzz

[mti87]

"I won't blow a load in your mouth"

[Tomohawk92]

"i like everything about you"

[Dhboy]

Had an eye infection and told a girl it was from MMA LOL.

[stahlberg]

told a girl i was zyzz

i pull this all the time

[omgitsNTG]

you are special

[Simmo89]

I put the bend in bananas

[MrBitches]

I told a girl I loved her lol what a joke.

[Tha big kahoona]

I had the same exact car as the pic below in 2001 (Toyota Celica). Dumb chick was with me in the car and asked me what it was. Told her it was a Lambo. Oohs & aahs ensued

[mylifeisbro]

I once told a girl a cyborg assassin called "The Terminator" is sent back through time to 2011 to kill the seemingly innocent woman whose unborn son will lead the human race to victory in a bitter future war with a race of machines. If the Terminator succeeds, mankind is doomed. Her only hope is my seed from that post-apocalyptic war, who i have chased the Terminator back through time.
















Didn't work.

[monoshunter]

i love you

[guideX]

I pretty much lie to most hot girls i meet, starting with where i am from (i say Greek or Persian) and also claim i just got here from Sydney 'this weekend', talk about crazy stuff that i made up that happened interstate and how im here for work and how me and a mate got a pad... works pretty awesome, i use this crap on retail assistants and bouncers and they always fold and give me discounts etc. I talk loud, crack jokes and generally am friendly, its amazing what people will do just to have 'cool' people

hahaha

[Hurrr]

What haven't I lied about? I'm a fairly good lookin guy, so I often lie about my occupation and that I'm fairly wealthy in really subtle ways or places where I've traveled to. I give detailed explanations and wild stories and they always eat it up. It's not like I need to lie, but it's just too much ****en fun to see how far you can go with this and the things people believe

Also, went out a couple of nights ago and explained to a bish, while being fairly ****faced mind you, that I'm a full-time florist in the Netherlands and a famous ventriloquist who flies down to Vegas to do shows every now and then..

[Portsmouth UK]

i went to NYC and i told a barmaid i was a vet nurse...chicks dig a sensitive animal lover i thought.

well she was lapping it up but then she told me she had two dogs and started asking me if they would be ok to breed together and what genetic issues to look out for.

i **** bricks.

kept calm and rambled off about what i remembered from the oscar mexican dog whispering guy off discovery channel. Bish bought it...

[Brando0331]

This isn't a ridiculous lie, But after fukin many chicks using this exact line, Might share it with mah bros "I've never liked a girl this much before, This is new to me" Bitches eat this **** up trololololol simple, But it works.

[raweggz]

step1: I'm a star fish cleaner at the aquarium
Step2: Her: Oh my god are you serious? That's unreal
step3: ??
step4: Profit

[TheSlip]

Me and a bro told some hoe that we were in the youth team for a premier league football (soccer) team when we were 18. Took back to hotel as we were on holiday. Told my 3 other mates in the room next to us what was going down. A train was ran. Lulz were had for the next 4 days about it

[Dan333]

Was in Bali last summer and was chilling and talking to this hbb at some dive bar, she barely spoke English and asked me what I did for a living. Told her I was New Zealand SAS and since I had a lot of scars (from being an active kid) so I was telling her how this one I got from a knife (fell from a tree) and this one was shrapnel (tripped and hit my head on a metal post) and this was a bullet hole (lol shoulder surgery). Bish bought it hook, line and sinker.

Started making out in the toilets when I felt a phucking mountain of bush under dat dere panties. Told her to wait here while I ran out for a condom, went back to hotel and watched Cops the entire night.

100% serial.

Wait, wat? You didn't fcuk her because she was hairy? SO WHAT MAN. ffs

[JWilli9m]

Hahaha thanks OP I'm gonna use your Campbells soup kid line sometime this winter, that kid kind of looked like me when I was little too.

[bosstrollin]

'I don't have a girlfriend'

[SoSick]

The bone under my chest pops out right above my abs. I tell girls that i got hit with a stray bullet when i was a child

they feel chest...

profit.

[FatWhiteKid]

I love you