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  1. #1
    In Trance We Trust killerobotninja's Avatar
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    Thoughts on someone giving you the silent treatment?

    What are your thoughts on someone who gives you the silent treatment? Whether it is your significant other, family member, or friend. How does it impact you and how do you cope with it? Do you tolerate it if it is someone you love?

    So how do you guys deal with someone that gives you the silent treatment? Especially if it is someone you care about.
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  2. #2
    Be good and be Bear redraider86's Avatar
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    If someone is giving you the silent treatment, they're are emotionally immature and do not possess the skills to communicate what is actually bothering them. People that do this are emotionally manipulative, and not worth your time.

    My best advice: Tell the person giving you this treatment that it's unacceptable, passive, and frustrating. If they can't figure out a way to voice their feelings, then you need to move on.
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  3. #3
    Banned .aeterna's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by redraider86 View Post
    If someone is giving you the silent treatment, they're are emotionally immature and do not possess the skills to communicate what is actually bothering them. People that do this are emotionally manipulative, and not worth your time.

    My best advice: Tell the person giving you this treatment that it's unacceptable, passive, and frustrating. If they can't figure out a way to voice their feelings, then you need to move on.
    lolwut


    Sometimes its better to stfu, calm yourself down, gather your thoughts and then speak.

    If you are the offending party, and the other is giving the treatment, then the best way to deal with him/her is to give them their space and wait it out. If they care even a little bit about you, they will eventually come around and start talking. Just make sure you're available to listen and ready to communicate back.

    I prefer dealing with people (ahem females mainly) after they calm down post-silent treatment. There is nothing worse and more hellish to deal with than an emotionally charged woman who wont listen or rationalize an argument (strong irony).
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  4. #4
    Registered User mydawgs's Avatar
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    Relationships are all about communication...the silent treatment is a communication...

    I'm hurt
    I'm angry
    I feel hopeless
    I'm frustrated
    I'm not in control of my emotions yet

    They need space to get to a place where they can have a meaningful communication
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  5. #5
    In Trance We Trust killerobotninja's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mydawgs View Post
    Relationships are all about communication...the silent treatment is a communication...

    I'm hurt
    I'm angry
    I feel hopeless
    I'm frustrated
    I'm not in control of my emotions yet

    They need space to get to a place where they can have a meaningful communication
    if that is the case, are you suppose to refrain from talking to them? How can you resolve the issue if you are uncertain what the issue is due to silence. Its really emotionally draining to have to guess what the problem is and it makes you feel like if you don't try and see what's wrong, then you don't care. But is it really your problem if you are not at fault?
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  6. #6
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    you need to man the **** up and apologize. you obviously did something to piss them off to the point where they would rather not talk to you ever again.

    you have to know exactly what you did and understand why it pissed them off.
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  7. #7
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    Depends on who I'm dealing with....

    If it's my kid--then it's my duty to figure out what's up, and to get them talking.

    If it's my man--let him have his time to simmer down, it will pass, I don't need to stoke the fire.

    If it's some other family member--I do nothing, and actually relish the break of 'not' talking.

    A close friend--ignore it and move on, they'll either get over it or not.

    A coworker--I'll buy them a Caramel Macchiato, and in time it will also pass.

    A neighbor--casually ignore them, then wave/smile a few months later, it will pass.
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  8. #8
    Hypotheses Non Fingo Errorist's Avatar
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    Enjoy the silence. People talk too much anyways. I always talk if I have a problem. If they have a problem, then they should say something, or I'm going to assume nothing is wrong and go about my business.
    "Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny."
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  9. #9
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    Originally Posted by redraider86 View Post
    If someone is giving you the silent treatment, they're are emotionally immature and do not possess the skills to communicate what is actually bothering them. People that do this are emotionally manipulative, and not worth your time.

    My best advice: Tell the person giving you this treatment that it's unacceptable, passive, and frustrating. If they can't figure out a way to voice their feelings, then you need to move on.
    This
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  10. #10
    Banned MEDITATE's Avatar
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    how long has it been going , an hour, 6 hours, a day, a week ?

    an hour , i would recommend you give her time

    6 hours dont call ,sms,email her , just ignore her

    a day , u better start seeking someone else

    a week u better have found someone else

    btw how long have u been together and how old is she ?
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by MEDITATE View Post
    how long has it been going , an hour, 6 hours, a day, a week ?

    an hour , i would recommend you give her time

    6 hours dont call ,sms,email her , just ignore her

    a day , u better start seeking someone else

    a week u better have found someone else

    btw how long have u been together and how old is she ?
    I think if OP pissed her off some of those will be a little harsh. Sometimes they need to cool off and will get over it. If the silent treatment came from something you said/did then give her some time. If she is giving you the silent treatment bc she is jealous then start looking for someone else as she is immature. If its out of the blue and for no reason, then she is texting/nailing some other guy.

    NEED MORE INFO OP
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  12. #12
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    Originally Posted by Errorist View Post
    Enjoy the silence. People talk too much anyways.
    I'm in strong agreement.
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  13. #13
    In Trance We Trust killerobotninja's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by b0yer View Post
    I think if OP pissed her off some of those will be a little harsh. Sometimes they need to cool off and will get over it. If the silent treatment came from something you said/did then give her some time. If she is giving you the silent treatment bc she is jealous then start looking for someone else as she is immature. If its out of the blue and for no reason, then she is texting/nailing some other guy.

    NEED MORE INFO OP
    it was over nothing really. I was on the phone with her after she got off work. As soon as I mentioned I was going out later to a friends birthday (a female friend) she got all weird and said " I have to go". I texted her during the night and she never responded to any of my messages except to say goodnight. The next day she said nothing to me. I did nothing to warrant such a reaction in my opinion, but I don't know what to do. The silence is unfair and not deserved.
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  14. #14
    Registered User jamestown0101's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by killerobotninja View Post
    What are your thoughts on someone who gives you the silent treatment? Whether it is your significant other, family member, or friend. How does it impact you and how do you cope with it? Do you tolerate it if it is someone you love?

    So how do you guys deal with someone that gives you the silent treatment? Especially if it is someone you care about.
    Troll them.



    Sort of like what I do to large women who wear leggings. Way to ruin European style. Damn these slobs!

    Just ignore them. I freeze out girls who happen to act childish. The entire time, she is dead to me.
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  15. #15
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    Originally Posted by killerobotninja View Post
    it was over nothing really. I was on the phone with her after she got off work. As soon as I mentioned I was going out later to a friends birthday (a female friend) she got all weird and said " I have to go". I texted her during the night and she never responded to any of my messages except to say goodnight. The next day she said nothing to me. I did nothing to warrant such a reaction in my opinion, but I don't know what to do. The silence is unfair and not deserved.
    Immature. Ignore and find a better girl then dump her ass.
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  16. #16
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    Silent treatment usually means the person is overwhelmed with stress (whether it be mental, physical, emotional, or a combo) and is shutting down to re charge.

    Alot of people do not know the value of alone time, and since they do not incorporate it in their lives regularly they have periods of escalation followed by withdrawal rather then a more balanced sequence.

    People with low stress threshold tolerances are more prone to this as well as people with borderline personality disorder.
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  17. #17
    In Trance We Trust killerobotninja's Avatar
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    She messaged me today and said she ignored me because she thought my mom hated her. which I never said but apparently she heard me say it on the phone. So she ignored me over the weekend because of that.

    I deem her crazy. What to do? Just give it up? I'm guessing that's what I'm going to do.
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  18. #18
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    Originally Posted by killerobotninja View Post
    She messaged me today and said she ignored me because she thought my mom hated her. which I never said but apparently she heard me say it on the phone. So she ignored me over the weekend because of that.

    I deem her crazy. What to do? Just give it up? I'm guessing that's what I'm going to do.
    I doubt that's actually the reason. It's really up to you where you want to go with. It sounds like you're not really into her in which case, next her. If you actually care, ask her what her real reason was (face to face, not by text) because what she is saying doesn't make sense.
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    Registered User patkoch's Avatar
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    Say, "I never said that, and I am not willing to play your games..I deserve respect, Get your **** together or Im out." Say this early and often dont over react just say it matter of fact.

    Her response will either be an out right confrontational what do you mean? And she will qustion what she did wrong. Hold your ground or she will start crying and blaming stupid **** and crying. Do not give in.
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    In Trance We Trust killerobotninja's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    I doubt that's actually the reason. It's really up to you where you want to go with. It sounds like you're not really into her in which case, next her. If you actually care, ask her what her real reason was (face to face, not by text) because what she is saying doesn't make sense.
    even if it isn't the reason, there's no point in telling me things that aren't real. If she's bothered by something why ignore me then give me the run around. I really do like her, but I'm not sure if this is worth the trouble
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    Originally Posted by mydawgs View Post
    Relationships are all about communication...the silent treatment is a communication...

    I'm hurt
    I'm angry
    I feel hopeless
    I'm frustrated
    I'm not in control of my emotions yet

    They need space to get to a place where they can have a meaningful communication
    I was going to say the silent treament useally means feelings have been hurt.

    Originally Posted by killerobotninja View Post
    even if it isn't the reason, there's no point in telling me things that aren't real. If she's bothered by something why ignore me then give me the run around. I really do like her, but I'm not sure if this is worth the trouble
    seems like you already know the answer. but also keep in mind she COULD of thought you were trying to make her jealous by saying you were going out with another girl. She might insecure.

    if you like her move on and see what happens.
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    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by killerobotninja View Post
    even if it isn't the reason, there's no point in telling me things that aren't real. If she's bothered by something why ignore me then give me the run around.
    Which is why you ask her what's up. Or move on.
    There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
    One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
    The other, of course, involves orcs.
    -John Rogers

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