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  1. #1
    Registered User thetruth1985's Avatar
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    Can I lose 35 pounds in 2 months? I need help in order to avoid divorce.

    I hope someone here can help me. Last August, my wife told me that I was getting bigger and that she wanted me to lose some weight. Back then, I was 5'7 and 208 pounds. I was going to school full time and was working out when I had time and I managed to get down to 196 before spring break. My wife any myself were both happy with the results and she told me that she wanted me to get down to 180 since that is what I weighed when we got married. After spring break, I did not have too much time to workout since school was starting to get harder. I managed to gain all of the weight back.

    I have been going to the gym 4 times a week now and my wife has been making comments about my weight. This morning, I was standing on the scale before a shower and she managed to sneak up behind me and see that I weighed in at 214! She was furious and said that she will give me until the end of August to get down to 180 or else she will file for a divorce. I am so hurt and devastated that I do not know how I can do this. I spent the better part of the morning weeping and now I want to try to come up with a plan in order to accomplish this goal. I talked to her at lunch today and she said she was serious about this.
    She says that I don't deserve to be with her if I don't care about my body.

    I really need help on making a game plan to get down to 180 before school starts. I was thinking about doing p90x twice a day plus going to the gym after work. Thanks to anyone who can help me with some advice!
    Last edited by thetruth1985; 06-17-2011 at 08:05 PM.
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  2. #2
    Remembering who I am... CorruptSilence's Avatar
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    35 lbs. in 2 months is hardcore and will most likely end in disappointment if you are currently 214 lbs. You could probably get around 20 lbs. with a ton of hard work and dedication. However, if your wife is willing to leave you over something like this, then you have bigger problems... She is using your weight as an excuse for something else. Just my opinion.

    Edit: As far as advice on the weight loss, read the stickies at the top of this forum. They are VERY helpful. It is mostly going to come down to your diet and your dedication. Figure out your maintenance level for calories and cut them 500-1000 calories from that point. Every time I have seen someone put an all or nothing deadline on weight loss, they have sabotaged themselves and fail.
    ^^Former 300+lb crew^^
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    Started 320 Lbs.
    Goal 185 Lbs.
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  3. #3
    Registered User Mightymuff's Avatar
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    Stop eating so much, it's as easy as that really. You didn't once mention your diet, losing weight is about your diet not abut how much you work out.
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  4. #4
    English and Proud Jay Cee Ess's Avatar
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    If she doesnt love you how you are...maybe a divorce is right...would you leave her if she gained some weight? I think you need to deal with your relationship.


    Fat loss.
    Check these forums its a goldmine for advice!

    You need to cut your calories and change your diet!
    Join a gym and try to go 5 times a week! Look into HIIT training and maybe rippetoes! Use that search bar
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  5. #5
    Registered User SteveFromNY's Avatar
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    you have way more important things to sort out if your wife is giving you an ultimatum like that buddy. I lost 30lbs in 3 months so it's possible. You have to really want it and set up and follow through with a good plan.

    edit: not sure why I read 25 lbs in 3 months...dude, 35 in 2 months is just crazy. Go fix your relationship first.
    2011:
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  6. #6
    Fulkmaster Flex nlite2000's Avatar
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    either she's giving you tough love or you're going to get divorced anyway, regardless of whether or not you use the weight.


    But, let's talk turkey. 35 pounds isn't happening in two months. Your best bet to lose the most weight over that time is to run a 1000 calorie deficit, so you lose 2 pounds a week, then with about a week left, go low-carb to flush out excess water. Lift weights, do lots of cardio.
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  7. #7
    Registered User jakefurfaro's Avatar
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    I think you have bigger problems than being fat. If she can't help you through it, and threaten you instead, sounds like you are better off with her gone.

    Read the stickies. Quit less, move more.
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  8. #8
    OG of winter hats robertk232's Avatar
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    Ya, I'd divorce her immediately, and then get in amazing shape and make her regret being so shallow. My 2 cents...
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  9. #9
    Registered User Kelvandros's Avatar
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    Others have said it, but it should be repeated. If she's going to leave you based on a number on the scale, she's not the right girl. Would you leave her if she gained a little weight?

    Aim for healthy weight loss (2lbs per week), and if she files for divorce, you'll look better when you hit the dating scene again.
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  10. #10
    Chaldean brah pfizzlesole's Avatar
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    Pics of wife phaggot

    edit: thought I was in MISC.

    ------
    Clean diet, low carbs, low fats, get your protein hit the gym. Read the stickies and find out what works for you. I weighed in at 282 in March, I now weigh 248.

    Oh and about the whole wife leaving you situation. I would've left her as soon as she even mentioned anything about your weight. Wear the pants in the relationship brah.
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  11. #11
    Serpentarius's Avatar
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    She is the problem, not your bodyfat. Any "woman" worth anything wouldnt leave someone for getting a little chubby, if they cared, they'd be supportive and go to the gym or cook you good food instead and be positive.
    If you lost two pounds a week, which is reasonable at your weight, you can drop 18 pounds of fat in 2 months, plus a little water/glycogen stores. The end of august? That is dumb, that means you would need to get rid of about 3/4 of a pound a day from today....not happening. Maybe she needs to get on the treadmill.
    There is always someone less fortunate, with real hunger, with real adversity, who made something of themselves. What is your excuse?
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  12. #12
    Registered User StacksItRich's Avatar
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    I say lose weight for yourself. If your wife divorces you then she divorces you; then continue to lose weight. Higher a good lawyer and make sure she gets nothing for divorcing you for such a stupid reason. Then when you lose the weight and start to look great, she will regret such a decision when she goes back to trying to form a relationship and finds out at her age she will have a rough time and find mostly idiots who aren't serious. It seems you are a smart educated person who has a good future ahead of him. Lose the weight regardless. Make room for working out, but diet is the most important....a bad Diet is what got you to your weight, a good diet can help you achieve a better weight. Read the forum stickies on advice, nutrition, calories, macro's, lifting. Good Luck.

    The reasons I believe you wife is unhappy and said this is because she wants someone with a better body and believes that she maintained her body. However, all I will say unless she is perfectly thin and has a nice body I see no point in her critique. Though I'm sure she maintained her body and expects you to do the same. Therefore, lose the weight before she cheats on you or leaves you. You can't expect her to look good and then ruin your own body. She is in the wrong but you also have to see her point of view.
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  13. #13
    Registered User frozenberries's Avatar
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    Lose the weight and then YOU divorce your wife
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  14. #14
    Registered User thetruth1985's Avatar
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    thanks for the advice guys. I think she is critical of my weight since she has been able to control her weight through diet alone. She was even able to lose all the weight she gained from pregnancy just by watching what she ate. I'm hoping that if she sees my trying to lose the weight, she will give me more time. If anything, I have learned to not let my weight go again.
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  15. #15
    Registered User CHITO2004LAKERS's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CorruptSilence View Post
    35 lbs. in 2 months is hardcore and will most likely end in disappointment if you are currently 214 lbs. You could probably get around 20 lbs. with a ton of hard work and dedication. However, if your wife is willing to leave you over something like this, then you have bigger problems... She is using your weight as an excuse for something else. Just my opinion.

    Edit: As far as advice on the weight loss, read the stickies at the top of this forum. They are VERY helpful. It is mostly going to come down to your diet and your dedication. Figure out your maintenance level for calories and cut them 500-1000 calories from that point. Every time I have seen someone put an all or nothing deadline on weight loss, they have sabotaged themselves and fail.
    THIS!!!! I'm repping this man! Really good advice.
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  16. #16
    Registered User jnwaco's Avatar
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    Dirty bulk 'til August 31st then cut. Best decision you'll ever make.
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  17. #17
    Eater of Planets MusclesGlasses's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by robertk232 View Post
    Ya, I'd divorce her immediately, and then get in amazing shape and make her regret being so shallow. My 2 cents...
    This. Then bulk the f*ck up and when she sees the new you be like 'you could've had this.'
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  18. #18
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    Sorry but I lol´ed. If she really love you you dont ahve to lose any weight... Her asking you its normal, but telling she will divorce cauz of that... sorry but something is wrong...
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  19. #19
    Registered User fresh88's Avatar
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    im just gonna tell u like this, if ur wife is trippin about ur weight, make her change something about herself. if i recall you both said for better or for worse.
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  20. #20
    toot toot i'm a dolphin topegur's Avatar
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    If you divorced her, you'd lose 130 pounds (or whatever she weighs) right away. Best diet plan you'll find.
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  21. #21
    i like that RainingBlood's Avatar
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    This better be a troll.
    Divorce your wife.
    I move onward, the only direction. Can't be scared to fail in the search of perfection.
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  22. #22
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    Originally Posted by thetruth1985 View Post
    I hope someone here can help me. Last August, my wife told me that I was getting bigger and that she wanted me to lose some weight. Back then, I was 5'7 and 208 pounds. I was going to school full time and was working out when I had time and I managed to get down to 196 before spring break. My wife any myself were both happy with the results and she told me that she wanted me to get down to 180 since that is what I weighed when we got married. After spring break, I did not have too much time to workout since school was starting to get harder. I managed to gain all of the weight back.

    I have been going to the gym 4 times a week now and my wife has been making comments about my weight. This morning, I was standing on the scale before a shower and she managed to sneak up behind me and see that I weighed in at 214! She was furious and said that she will give me until the end of August to get down to 214 or else she will file for a divorce. I am so hurt and devastated that I do not know how I can do this. I spent the better part of the morning weeping and now I want to try to come up with a plan in order to accomplish this goal. I talked to her at lunch today and she said she was serious about this.
    She says that I don't deserve to be with her if I don't care about my body.

    I really need help on making a game plan to get down to 180 before school starts. I was thinking about doing p90x twice a day plus going to the gym after work. Thanks to anyone who can help me with some advice!
    I can see both sides of this. On one hand your wife is an ass for giving you an ultimatum. I gotta tell ya if my wife said that I would test her resolve out and eat pizzas for a month.
    My guess is she is testing you and wouldn't leave over a few lbs.....

    On the other had she has a point, she didn't marry a fatty and she has kept herself in shape. Not to mention the health factors, nobody wants to have kids and a spouse who dies off at age 45. Perhaps she should have chosen this angle to approach the subject rather than the ultimatum.

    That said, do not do this for her, do it for you. Adherence to a fit lifestyle is not something you can do because you were forced it has to be done because you want to do it. If nothing else do it because you don't ever want to be put in that position again. No guy who is a 3 wants to be married to a 10. You always want to feel like your as attractive as she is to keep a healthy relationship dynamic.

    You won't be able to lose 35lbs of fat in 2 months, you can probably lose 15-20 and drop some water weight to make it look close but my guess is a good solid effort and some progress will be enough to appease her.
    Last edited by Electricheadd; 06-16-2011 at 05:26 PM.
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  23. #23
    Starvation Mode GO! NitrogenWidget's Avatar
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    I would take this to Relationship help.
    You arn't going to be able to meet her demands without seriously endangering your health.

    Get a lawyer.
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  24. #24
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    if this is srs, your wife sounds just awful
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    Originally Posted by thetruth1985 View Post
    I hope someone here can help me. Last August, my wife told me that I was getting bigger and that she wanted me to lose some weight. Back then, I was 5'7 and 208 pounds. I was going to school full time and was working out when I had time and I managed to get down to 196 before spring break. My wife any myself were both happy with the results and she told me that she wanted me to get down to 180 since that is what I weighed when we got married. After spring break, I did not have too much time to workout since school was starting to get harder. I managed to gain all of the weight back.

    I have been going to the gym 4 times a week now and my wife has been making comments about my weight. This morning, I was standing on the scale before a shower and she managed to sneak up behind me and see that I weighed in at 214! She was furious and said that she will give me until the end of August to get down to 214 or else she will file for a divorce. I am so hurt and devastated that I do not know how I can do this. I spent the better part of the morning weeping and now I want to try to come up with a plan in order to accomplish this goal. I talked to her at lunch today and she said she was serious about this.
    She says that I don't deserve to be with her if I don't care about my body.

    I really need help on making a game plan to get down to 180 before school starts. I was thinking about doing p90x twice a day plus going to the gym after work. Thanks to anyone who can help me with some advice!
    What. the. FUK!

    Get rid of that shallow bitch while you can, serious. Lose weight for your own reason, not because your wife wants you to. This shiit makes me RAGE.
    Stop reading my sig phaggot.

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  26. #26
    Registered User ejthomp's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thetruth1985 View Post

    she has been able to control her weight through diet alone. She was even able to lose all the weight she gained from pregnancy just by watching what she ate.

    Maybe you should learn from your soon-to-be ex-wife. She's right! Your weight is controlled by what you put in your mouth. You need to learn how to eat from her.

    My wife has always managed her weight through diet alone. She weighs the same as she did 30 years ago. When I finally got my diet in order, weight management became easier. Still, even when I was a fattie, my wife never threatened me with divorce.
    A diet isn't punishment. A diet is a way to reward your body with the wholesome, nutritious food that it needs. Your body composition is a direct reflection of what you put in your mouth.
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  27. #27
    OG of Ugly Fat Fuks KingOfChaos's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ejthomp View Post
    Maybe you should learn from your soon-to-be ex-wife. She's right! Your weight is controlled by what you put in your mouth. You need to learn how to eat from her.

    My wife has always managed her weight through diet alone. She weighs the same as she did 30 years ago. When I finally got my diet in order, weight management became easier. Still, even when I was a fattie, my wife never threatened me with divorce.
    She forgot the whole "through the good and the bad" part of her vows, obviously. OP should just say "You know what? Get the fuk out...I will get ripped and get a better looking bitch".
    Stop reading my sig phaggot.

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  28. #28
    OG of Ugly Fat Fuks KingOfChaos's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thetruth1985 View Post
    thanks for the advice guys. I think she is critical of my weight since she has been able to control her weight through diet alone. She was even able to lose all the weight she gained from pregnancy just by watching what she ate. I'm hoping that if she sees my trying to lose the weight, she will give me more time. If anything, I have learned to not let my weight go again.
    lol yeah, you mean by not eating, which is how most women 'diet'.
    Stop reading my sig phaggot.

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  29. #29
    Registered User reagansquad's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thetruth1985 View Post
    I hope someone here can help me. Last August, my wife told me that I was getting bigger and that she wanted me to lose some weight. Back then, I was 5'7 and 208 pounds. I was going to school full time and was working out when I had time and I managed to get down to 196 before spring break. My wife any myself were both happy with the results and she told me that she wanted me to get down to 180 since that is what I weighed when we got married. After spring break, I did not have too much time to workout since school was starting to get harder. I managed to gain all of the weight back.

    I have been going to the gym 4 times a week now and my wife has been making comments about my weight. This morning, I was standing on the scale before a shower and she managed to sneak up behind me and see that I weighed in at 214! She was furious and said that she will give me until the end of August to get down to 214 or else she will file for a divorce. I am so hurt and devastated that I do not know how I can do this. I spent the better part of the morning weeping and now I want to try to come up with a plan in order to accomplish this goal. I talked to her at lunch today and she said she was serious about this.
    She says that I don't deserve to be with her if I don't care about my body.

    I really need help on making a game plan to get down to 180 before school starts. I was thinking about doing p90x twice a day plus going to the gym after work. Thanks to anyone who can help me with some advice!
    She's being a bitch.

    She's not doing this cause you're fat, she's doing this because you've lost hand in the relationship. She's subconsciously chipped away at your backbone and now she resents you for being weak. Women HATE emotionally weak men. Losing the weight won't fix it. She'll just find something else to blame for her resentment. It's a process called backwards rationalization. She's unhappy but isn't sure why, so she has to go look for a reason. You gaining a few pounds is a convenient reason so she goes with it. You've gotta remember that she doesn't filter her world through logic the way you do, she filters it through her emotions. So her emotions say 'We don't like husband anymore' and her logic isn't sure why, so she goes hunting for a reason. If you do manage to lose this weight, she'll find a new reason like 'you don't take out the trash enough.' or 'You never help me cook dinner.' or 'Our house isn't nice enough.'

    The fact that she was willing to break rapport with you and you were not willing to break rapport with her despite her being clearly and totally in the wrong tells you everything you need to know. I'd also bet she doesn't let you have 'you time', assigns you chores, tells you when you can and can't spend your own money, don't give you BJs, and is generally a little ****. This is a classic problem with modern relationships because men aren't allowed to be men anymore, and it ends up making these poor women miserable.

    So, to fix this you gotta distance yourself and make her win you back... Tell her to take her ultimatum and get the **** out of your house, throw her stuff into the yard. Don't let her back in until you guys have done some counseling. If she does come back, this time, be a man about it and lead from the front. Don't try to be a dictator, just lead by example, take charge, and don't let her push you around.
    Last edited by reagansquad; 06-16-2011 at 03:15 PM.
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  30. #30
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    Oh yeah and there's a huge chance that she's cheating on you. Sorry bro.

    BTW I'm a dating coach and relationship expert.
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