Regarding FA's: What most ppl here don't realize

[basto23]

I'm just gonna provide cliffs of why most people here are probably FA, being an FA myself and trying my ass off to get out of this crew i can tell you a few things

- FA's have mild-severe social anxiety. During most social interactions they can't be themselves because social anxiety makes them act weird and do things they wouldn't normally do (sweat, stutter, forget train of thought etc.) Yes SA can make you borderline autistic in social situations it's happened to me many times.

- FA's have lived their life in isolation and don't have much experience. What i'm saying is little to no social interaction through HS. Even college for some bros. Yes i am talking about going to school and hardly talking to anybody, never going out, basically completely isolated from the whole world for most of their life. A lot of FA's may not even have been to a party or a bar even through college.

- Little to no experience with girls after HS. Yes a lot of FA's have never hung out with a girl in their life, or maybe are just starting to talk to girls through college. Being kissless virgins through early 20's. Most fa's most likely have no idea how to act in coed settings because they have no experience with girls and they are intimidated to talk to girls with other guys around because they feel they can't compete.

When you factor in some of these, or maybe all of them you should be able to see why there are so many FA's. I mean it's pretty hard to feel normal around other human beings when you have never really had friends, don't know how to act in social settings and suffer from anxiety.

[InfinityThor]

Everyone already knows this, I have no idea why you would think otherwise.

That's like saying:
"Regarding fat people

-They don't like the gym
-They never go to the gym
-They have little to no experience in the gym

When you factor in these, you may be able to see why they are fat."

Duh! They're fat, isn't it obvious what they have and have not been doing? Same goes for FA, everyone knows why you are that way, it's simple cause and effect.

[Matsthetics]

Nothing new in here op, imo it's about getting out there and networking and not caring about rejection etc.
Only way they'll see improvement.

[basto23]

Everyone already knows this, I have no idea why you would think otherwise.

That's like saying:
"Regarding fat people

-They don't like the gym
-They never go to the gym
-They have little to no experience in the gym

When you factor in these, you may be able to see why they are fat."

Duh! They're fat, isn't it obvious what they have and have not been doing? Same goes for FA, everyone knows why you are that way, it's simple cause and effect.

Because i see posts like approach this many girls and you will get better with women. This is simply not always true. No girl gives a **** about us FA's either because we don't have any friends or our astounding awkwardness repels them. I also laugh at how so many people on here think socially awkward people with absolutely no friends can just make friends by going to school, joining clubs etc. Again nobody gives a **** about us. Everyone on this forum knows they wouldn't befriend a friendless socially awkward loser. I could go on 20 dates this year or go out and try to make friends with 100 people but the outcome will always be the same because i am stuck in such a big hole. Seems like you can only change being FA if you have some decent experience and some old friends from HS or something to fall back on. True FA's really don't have anything to offer it doesn't matter how much we try.

Done with my rant i'm not even technically FA anymore but i feel like it because i don't have good friends and i can't get girls.

[nvrstopworking]

I'm just gonna provide cliffs of why most people here are probably FA, being an FA myself and trying my ass off to get out of this crew i can tell you a few things

- FA's have mild-severe social anxiety. During most social interactions they can't be themselves because social anxiety makes them act weird and do things they wouldn't normally do (sweat, stutter, forget train of thought etc.) Yes SA can make you borderline autistic in social situations it's happened to me many times.

- FA's have lived their life in isolation and don't have much experience. What i'm saying is little to no social interaction through HS. Even college for some bros. Yes i am talking about going to school and hardly talking to anybody, never going out, basically completely isolated from the whole world for most of their life. A lot of FA's may not even have been to a party or a bar even through college.

- Little to no experience with girls after HS. Yes a lot of FA's have never hung out with a girl in their life, or maybe are just starting to talk to girls through college. Being kissless virgins through early 20's. Most fa's most likely have no idea how to act in coed settings because they have no experience with girls and they are intimidated to talk to girls with other guys around because they feel they can't compete.

When you factor in some of these, or maybe all of them you should be able to see why there are so many FA's. I mean it's pretty hard to feel normal around other human beings when you have never really had friends, don't know how to act in social settings and suffer from anxiety.

EVERYONE has some mild social anxiety when they're growing up.... you just learn to get over it.

The bolded part is what REALLY messes up FAs. They don't try to be social. Plain & simple. And because of computers and video games there's almost no reason for them to venture outside anymore because they can amuse themselves at home for hours on end.

When I was in HS (and even Univ) you would meet up after school with your buddies to play sports... or go to the mall... or take road trips... and in Univ. you'd hang out in the cafeteria or lounges or join a bunch of clubs to meet people. You were FORCED to get out there and socialize unless you wanted to sit in your room staring at the ceiling.

Willing to bet that if every "FA" stopped surfing the web and got rid of their video games there's be a lot less FAs.

[InfinityThor]

Because i see posts like approach this many girls and you will get better with women. This is simply not always true. No girl gives a **** about us FA's either because we don't have any friends or our astounding awkwardness repels them. I also laugh at how so many people on here think socially awkward people with absolutely no friends can just make friends by going to school, joining clubs etc. Again nobody gives a **** about us. Everyone on this forum knows they wouldn't befriend a friendless socially awkward loser. I could go on 20 dates this year or go out and try to make friends with 100 people but the outcome will always be the same because i am stuck in such a big hole. Seems like you can only change being FA if you have some decent experience and some old friends from HS or something to fall back on. True FA's really don't have anything to offer it doesn't matter how much we try.

This can't be real life. If you can't make the connection between your OP and this post, you might want to get checked for downs-syndrome.

[iCAMETOPLAY]

EVERYONE has some mild social anxiety when they're growing up.... you just learn to get over it.

The bolded part is what REALLY messes up FAs. They don't try to be social. Plain & simple. And because of computers and video games there's almost no reason for them to venture outside anymore because they can amuse themselves at home for hours on end.

When I was in HS (and even Univ) you would meet up after school with your buddies to play sports... or go to the mall... or take road trips... and in Univ. you'd hang out in the cafeteria or lounges or join a bunch of clubs to meet people. You were FORCED to get out there and socialize unless you wanted to sit in your room staring at the ceiling.

Willing to bet that if every "FA" stopped surfing the web and got rid of their video games there's be a lot less FAs.

I understand where you're coming from brah but how hard is it to get into the uni scene in your second year where everyone has made their cliques and the fact you commute about an hour away from uni? How would one go about this? I mean I don't mind talking to random people during class but like I said literally everyone now sits in groups of 5/6 which is pretty awkward if you're introducing yourself to such a large amount of people during class too.

[nvrstopworking]

Because i see posts like approach this many girls and you will get better with women. This is simply not always true. No girl gives a **** about us FA's either because we don't have any friends or our astounding awkwardness repels them. I also laugh at how so many people on here think socially awkward people with absolutely no friends can just make friends by going to school, joining clubs etc. Again nobody gives a **** about us. Everyone on this forum knows they wouldn't befriend a friendless socially awkward loser. I could go on 20 dates this year or go out and try to make friends with 100 people but the outcome will always be the same because i am stuck in such a big hole. Seems like you can only change being FA if you have some decent experience and some old friends from HS or something to fall back on. True FA's really don't have anything to offer it doesn't matter how much we try.

Done with my rant i'm not even technically FA anymore but i feel like it because i don't have good friends and i can't get girls.

Negged.

No point even starting a thread if you're unwilling to try.

No one wants to hear you whine.

[nvrstopworking]

I understand where you're coming from brah but how hard is it to get into the uni scene in your second year where everyone has made their cliques and the fact you commute about an hour away from uni? How would one go about this? I mean I don't mind talking to random people during class but like I said literally everyone now sits in groups of 5/6 which is pretty awkward if you're introducing yourself to such a large amount of people during class too.

I won't lie.... it's tougher to make friends when you're doing commuting... but that's where clubs come in. Or you can always get a job on campus. Try working in the athletic centre or in one of the campus bars/pubs. People start to recognize you and you always have an excuse to chit chat with them when you're working.

[iCAMETOPLAY]

I won't lie.... it's tougher to make friends when you're doing commuting... but that's where clubs come in. Or you can always get a job on campus. Try working in the athletic centre or in one of the campus bars/pubs. People start to recognize you and you always have an excuse to chit chat with them when you're working.

Thanks brah for the advice. Might think of taking a job in the summer if there's time [Got intern offers so probably won't be able to]. It's hard to get a job during term time though man, my department discourages people from getting jobs since the workload of my course. Feelsbadman.

I was such an idiot to let the first few weeks of uni go by and not actively trying to make friends.

[basto23]

Negged.

No point even starting a thread if you're unwilling to try.

No one wants to hear you whine.

I go out 2-3 times a week, have been on dates with girls and try to hang out with different people all the time. Still only have 2-3 friends and absolutely no social circle at all. Please tell me how a person who lives to be in their 20s never having a social circle is supposed to just make one.

[nvrstopworking]

Thanks brah for the advice. Might think of taking a job in the summer if there's time [Got intern offers so probably won't be able to]. It's hard to get a job during term time though man, my department discourages people from getting jobs since the workload of my course. Feelsbadman.

I was such an idiot to let the first few weeks of uni go by and not actively trying to make friends.

Not gonna lie... if you're commuting from home AND you have a rough program you might just not have time to socialize a lot....

But don't worry about it. Once you're done school and you're working you should have ample time to get out there expand your social circle. Contrary to popular belief you CAN have an active social life after school's done. In fact, I found the years after to be even BETTER because people had their own money... their own places.... and more freedom to take trips or go out in general.

[InfinityThor]

Please tell me how a person who lives to be in their 20s never having a social circle is supposed to just make one.

The same way children make one.

It's quite amazing that an adult isn't able to complete the same tasks that young children accomplish with ease.

[iCAMETOPLAY]

Not gonna lie... if you're commuting from home AND you have a rough program you might just not have time to socialize a lot....

But don't worry about it. Once you're done school and you're working you should have ample time to get out there expand your social circle. Contrary to popular belief you CAN have an active social life after school's done. In fact, I found the years after to be even BETTER because people had their own money... their own places.... and more freedom to take trips or go out in general.

Fuark brah, thanks. Seems like I'll just have to ride these last few years of uni out. Will feel kind of chit though man, uni was not what it was promised to be, certainly my uni experience hasn't eeen very special [ie not something I will remember for the rest of my life lol].

[iCAMETOPLAY]

The same way children make one.

It's quite amazing that an adult isn't able to complete the same tasks that young children accomplish with ease.

I don't know man, you see quite a lot of FA's problems actually start from childhood. More than likely quite a lot of FAs probably were bullied which lead to self esteem issue which in turn manifested into social anxiety,

[InfinityThor]

I don't know man, you see quite a lot of FA's problems actually start from childhood. More than likely quite a lot of FAs probably were bullied which lead to self esteem issue which in turn manifested into social anxiety,

I don't see how that's relevant now as an adult?

Look at how people succeeded and repeat what they did, very simply formula for success.

[poundfive2]

another fa thread in RH, thanks for the original and well thought out post op..

in more recent news:

[Madrax]

Because i see posts like approach this many girls and you will get better with women. This is simply not always true. No girl gives a **** about us FA's either because we don't have any friends or our astounding awkwardness repels them. I also laugh at how so many people on here think socially awkward people with absolutely no friends can just make friends by going to school, joining clubs etc. Again nobody gives a **** about us. Everyone on this forum knows they wouldn't befriend a friendless socially awkward loser. I could go on 20 dates this year or go out and try to make friends with 100 people but the outcome will always be the same because i am stuck in such a big hole. Seems like you can only change being FA if you have some decent experience and some old friends from HS or something to fall back on. True FA's really don't have anything to offer it doesn't matter how much we try.

Done with my rant i'm not even technically FA anymore but i feel like it because i don't have good friends and i can't get girls.

mkayyyy i was introvert, quiet person (few friends) until start of high school.
I decided for myself that its not the best strategy in life and switched. From high school i went through huge acceleration. (first girlfriend within 1st year in high school etc) Years will pass and you gain more and more experience. (this help so much in work relationships as well..generally how to get on with people and make friends)

All you need is to move from thinking to action. You will be surprised how fast first good results will come. Of course people which don't try will spiral down in depression and dig their hole even deeper.

Its so simple. TAKE ACTION and you will never regret.

[iCAMETOPLAY]

I don't see how that's relevant now as an adult?

Look at how people succeeded and repeat what they did, very simply formula for success.

I know it shouldn't be relevant but unless you realise that you actually have SA quick enough and take action you will probably get left behind. Once you do realise it's pretty hard to make up for it [not impossible or anything, just that it's hard]. Like I only realised this year how bad the situation was. At 20, everyone pretty much expects you to not have SA and have moved on from such problems.

Obviously I'm still improving and will never give up but it's gonna take some time and FUARRRRKKKK it's kind of irritating. You have to take baby steps and at 20 it kind of means you will never, essentially, have that much fun during uni/college the supposed best time of your life.

[rbsx]

another fa thread in RH, thanks for the original and well thought out post op..

in more recent news:

You must spread some reputation around before giving it to poundfive2 again.

[InfinityThor]

You have to take baby steps

Why baby steps? Why not massive action?

You can do anything you want, at any time you want.

[iCAMETOPLAY]

mkayyyy i was introvert, quiet person (few friends) until start of high school.
I decided for myself that its not the best strategy in life and switched. From high school i went through huge acceleration. (first girlfriend within 1st year in high school etc) Years will pass and you gain more and more experience. (this help so much in work relationships as well..generally how to get on with people and make friends)

All you need is to move from thinking to action. You will be surprised how fast first good results will come. Of course people which don't try will spiral down in depression and dig their hole even deeper.

Its so simple. TAKE ACTION and you will never regret.

But brah what if you're in my situation as described above? Where it's actually very hard to put yourself out there?

[iCAMETOPLAY]

Why baby steps? Why not massive action?

You can do anything you want, at any time you want.

Come on brah, you can't expect to go out there and get an even 6/10 if you've never spoken to a female before. Especially if you're fat [the fat should come off though in roughly another 6 months of cutting].

[Madrax]

But brah what if you're in my situation as described above? Where it's actually very hard to put yourself out there?

I understand, but the more effort you put in the faster you fix your problem. You have advantage over 15y old awkward kid as your intellect and maturity is higher therefore you can assess your situation better. Its vicious circle where you standing right now. Small steps are better then no steps at all, but if you try harder you get better results faster. Hard work pays off brah. Don't be afraid to leap in darkness...its the best way how to learn..fast.

srs brah

[iamdetermined]

Negged.

No point even starting a thread if you're unwilling to try.

No one wants to hear you whine.

Well that escalated quickly lol....why haven't you negged me yet?...pls don't neg, just wondering cause ive been annoying this section for months now.

The same way children make one.

It's quite amazing that an adult isn't able to complete the same tasks that young children accomplish with ease.

As a kid it is way easier....i made a lot of friends in HS cause i had no filter and would just do the most immature stupid stuff, hence why i made a lot of male friends, but girls didn't like me. But as you get older you have to act "mature" so you can't use the same jokes, i mean my sense of humor was saying gooby pls to random girls at my job, my friend thought it was hilarious but girls just thought i was weird and immature...its just not the same as you get older.

[InfinityThor]

Come on brah, you can't expect to go out there and get an even 6/10 if you've never spoken to a female before. Especially if you're fat [the fat should come off though in roughly another 6 months of cutting].

You can walk out your door right now and go approach a bunch of 6/10's, then ask for their numbers.

Whether you will or not is entirely up to you. Just don't use the excuse that you "can't", you can, you just make a concious decision not to.

Accept full responsibility.

As a kid it is way easier....

That's irrelevant.

As a 20yo it's easier to get physically fit compared to a 60yo... doesn't mean the 60yo shouldn't be in the gym.

[rbsx]

Well that escalated quickly lol....why haven't you negged me yet?...pls don't neg, just wondering cause ive been annoying this section for months now.



As a kid it is way easier....i made a lot of friends in HS cause i had no filter and would just do the most immature stupid stuff, hence why i made a lot of male friends, but girls didn't like me. But as you get older you have to act "mature" so you can't use the same jokes, i mean my sense of humor was saying gooby pls to random girls at my job, my friend thought it was hilarious but girls just thought i was weird and immature...its just not the same as you get older.

No it's not easier. Basically at different increments in your life you're forced to rebuild.

Save for 1-2 close friends I've had for 10-15 years (neither of whom live in the same country as me now).. I've had to rebuild my relationships when I changed high schools, when I went to university, when I left university, when my ex left me... each time I basically had to start over at 0.

It isn't any easier or harder than it was when I was a kid, and I'm about as socially ****ed up as they come.

[Madrax]

Come on brah, you can't expect to go out there and get an even 6/10 if you've never spoken to a female before. Especially if you're fat [the fat should come off though in roughly another 6 months of cutting].

Ok this is another mistake..if you will try to hit on 6/10 which are decent looking girls imho..you will get just setback...dont do this...work yourself up from bottom. Try to chat up 3-4/10 for starter..you must first drop your SA. You cant start with intermediate before you pass beginner.

[rbsx]

You can walk out your door right now and go approach a bunch of 6/10's, then ask for their numbers.

Whether you will or not is entirely up to you. Just don't use the excuse that you "can't", you can, you just make a concious decision not to.

Accept full responsibility.

That's irrelevant.

As a 20yo it's easier to get physically fit compared to a 60yo... doesn't mean the 60yo shouldn't be in the gym.

Cold approaches are playing the odds, and not everyone is comfortable with doing such a thing. I'm not - but I virtually every girl I meet I end up ****ing. We all have our own methods.

[iamdetermined]

mkayyyy i was introvert, quiet person (few friends) until start of high school.
I decided for myself that its not the best strategy in life and switched. From high school i went through huge acceleration. (first girlfriend within 1st year in high school etc) Years will pass and you gain more and more experience. (this help so much in work relationships as well..generally how to get on with people and make friends)

All you need is to move from thinking to action. You will be surprised how fast first good results will come. Of course people which don't try will spiral down in depression and dig their hole even deeper.

Its so simple. TAKE ACTION and you will never regret.

I understand this but when i take action i just fuk it all up. Ive tried saying jokes to make ppl laugh and everyone just bert stares...ive tried making cheeky comments to girls but they just give polite smiles or bertstare as well. Guys like me and icametoplay are in a whole different league because its not like we are socially awkward and have never even talked to a girl before, its just that they don't like us...well me at least. Im probably gonna talk to a couple of girls next week because im not the type to just roll over and die or w/e (i know it seems like it but im not)...but these things always end up the same. First couple of conversations talk about school and where they're from...after that its just awkward and stupid. So yea, its not as easy as just taking action.