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  1. #1
    That's how you get ants. BobisMighty's Avatar
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    20 Ways To Tell If Your Teenage Daughter Is A Lesbian

    http://christwire.org/2011/05/20-way...-is-a-lesbian/

    Does she have “Bieber Fever”?

    This is the first sign she is adopting an alternative lifestyle. Bieber was born female and is now a male impersonator, you can tell by the way his jawline isn’t quite masculine. Recently this heshe has been convincing young teenage girls to replace their pictues of Jesus with his own. It is only a matter of time before he announces his secret and watches as an entire generation of young women turn into homogays right before our eye

    How often does she text?

    Lesbians are known to use the medium of text messaging over voice because they can do it quietly and no prying ears can overhear their heathen sex talk. It also allows for them to disguise themselves as boys when concerned parents intercept the sex-fueled communications. They also send graven images of chocolate covered dildos and fake detachable penises to each other regularly. If you notice your daughter texting more than usual, you probably already have a homogay on your hands.

    Has she recently taken up golf?
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  2. #2
    no thanks habibi CarlMcGuirk's Avatar
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    ITT OP just now figures out that christwire is a satire site
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  3. #3
    That's how you get ants. BobisMighty's Avatar
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    Is her Facebook account ‘private’?

    If so, she is most likely trying to hide her lesbianism from you. Decent Christian girls do not even go on Facebook due to it’s high concentration of liberal feminist homogay propaganda, so the fact that she is on there in the first place should have you scratching your beard in well merited suspicion. If you can’t check up on her online activities, in 90% of the cases documented by the Christwire flock, it is because there are carpet munching hose beasts trying to steal your daughters sweet virgin cherry pie and replace it with the evil lesbian rhubarb.

    Have you recently caught her skipping school to watch Ellen?



    We all know Ellen is a lesbian, and watching her show can make you homogay. What hasn’t been reported is the spike in instances where young impressionable girls have been conned by this shiester and fallen victim to the subliminal messages on her show which encourage them to drop out of school and jump on the gay train every afternoon at 3pm Eastern time. It would be smart of you to block her show with parental controls and send a firmly worded letter to your local cable company about the type of riff raff they are giving you for your good Christian money.

    Is she planning on voting Democrat?

    Many of us have teen daughters who will be eligible to vote in the next election. The ones who are on the right track have already taken to the task of deciding whether Sarah Palin will get their vote, or if Donald Trump may be able to sway them. If they have already got their eye on Barack for the next four years, it is your duty as a Christian to attempt re-education. If that doesn’t work your option is to forbid them from voting, lest they help push the homogay agenda and eventually become one themselves.

    Does she have sleepovers?



    Good Christian girls socialize with each other at the Church, because they know when they strip down to their panties with a group of other girls and get under the covers, the temptation may end up too much to resist. If your daughter asks to go over to a friends house for the night, even with a parent present they will most likely find a way to suckle on each other’s milksacs. There are also some liberal parents who might set up such things on purpose for the reasoning of pushing their own agenda on your kids. Be careful, for the homogays come in many disguises.

    Do you know the password to all her Internet accounts?



    If not, then it is probably because she gets updates from gayteenforums.com on a regular basis. She also probably has a girlfriend she fornicates with in steamy cyber emails. A good Christian parent keeps a close eye on their child’s online activities, as it is the favorite medium for gays to penetrate your home and your daughter with their huge dildos and other foreign objects they use to satisfy their beaver-lust. Do not let your daughter have her own passwords. Choose them for her, and if she protests, show her what happens when homogays get AIDS.

    Does she use a Mac?

    The entire operating system was meant to cater to the homogay culture in San Fransisco. There are even references hidden throughout, such as the use of the icon that shows two men kissing. They are then marketed to females with the express intent of making them believe all males are homogay and maybe what they really need is some dirty vagina to make them happy. Windows PC’s are manly, and show young girls that what they really need is a man. Make sure you only make computer purchases that run Bill Gate’s Godly software.
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  4. #4
    That's how you get ants. BobisMighty's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CarlMcGuirk View Post
    ITT OP just now figures out that christwire is a satire site
    still think it's funny
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  5. #5
    no thanks habibi CarlMcGuirk's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BobisMighty View Post
    still think it's funny
    agreed, but does mind = blown now?
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  6. #6
    Intense as fuk bro austin.j.taylor's Avatar
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    That whole link is gold
    ★cVc★

    Log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=154167271
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  7. #7
    ha...ha...ha... graysonwc's Avatar
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    She does all of those things......
    If you spend all of your time thinking about what could have been, much more than what is, you eventually realize that what is could have been much more.

    ledbain21: While I was at the gym, I thought this out. Every woman would have sex with you, it's just the conditions of how the sex occurs that varies.

    graysonwc: Well duh, if I held a gun to a girls head and told her to have sex with me, of course she would. But that is called rape, and rape is frowned upon.

    ledbain21: Point missed...
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  8. #8
    Get huge or die tryin' cmmulla's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by graysonwc View Post


    She does all of those things......
    Start: 5'11" 145 (Nov 2006)
    Now: 6'0" 175
    Bench: 200x7
    Squat: 205x6 (knee injury ~2 months)
    Dead: 255x8

    "The vision of a champion is someone bent over, drenched in sweat, to a point of exhaustion, when no one else is watching."

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  9. #9
    Registered User JDawgg72's Avatar
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    i cant believe so many people are taking the thing seriously in the comments
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