This Goes Out To People Who Constantly Need To Be Wanted And Can't Be Alone...

[kurthustle]

This thread's a gem. For example: I feel sorry for the ppl desperately searching for people to eat with @ university just to have a superficial talk and not be "alone"...nothing against superficial talk, but I don't really see the point in trying so hard to get nothing out of a conversation (because we're just talking not to be alone - of course there are exceptions, when I meet a friend or a person I like).


(no creep)

[R4_Theory]

This thread's a gem. For example: I feel sorry for the ppl desperately searching for people to eat with @ university just to have a superficial talk and not be "alone"...nothing against superficial talk, but I don't really see the point in trying so hard to get nothing out of a conversation (because we're just talking not to be alone - of course there are exceptions, when I meet a friend or a person I like).


(no creep)

I actually have some questions about this, if anyone would be inclined to help.

I'm an introvert too, have no problem doing stuff by myself and being entertained, no emotional dependency, or anything like that. I can also socialize when in a new environment, or in one-on-one conversations, as I've realized that when in groups, most people dumb themselves down to appeal to the majority of others.

I have two problems though, that Wisdom Miscers might be able to help me with: I get tired of talking with the same people everyday (High schooler, so the same kids, same area, same conversation basically everyday), and I hate talking to groups of people usually more than 4 altogether, as groupthink tends to dominate at that number. I almost always refuse to take part in conversation that's just superficiality and ego boosting, but that seems to be the area of discussion 95% of the time. Is there some magical solution to be able to combat groupthink enough to keep my sanity? Or do I just gotta suffer through it and talk about how much I'll beat up another brah if he looks at me wrong or some dumbass joke? (Dry humor and witty jokes don't really work too well in High School)

A lotta social interaction is built up upon these superficial topics that don't really mean anything and then blossom into thoughtful conversations and a real friendship, but I can't seem to ever just... act like everyone else?

[ridge_forrester]

Probably not related, but having just found myself in a serious relationship, I'm valuing my alone time more than ever.

[MrDelts]

subbed, reading again tomorrow

[thefugate]

I largely agree with this but you must know others to truly know yourself. If you were born in the woods alone by the time you were an adult you'd be buggin out 24/7 running around with a spear and attacking anyone who comes near you.

[MetalManuel]

Haven't been wanted yet so I do everything forever alone ...

[KraftDanner]

bitchs are pathetic

[Harganoff]

I love alone time, but I can't do it 24/7.

I have no problems going to see a movie alone, going out to eat alone or anything else commonly seen as "loser" behavior, alone.

I'm about to get an apartment and practically all of my friends are astonished that I'm not getting a roommate; they can't wrap their minds around the idea of being alone.

Kinda sad, really. (for them, not me)

[SUPER_MANLET]

This was taken from another thread about a Miscer Asking about if it was okay to go to the movies alone...
I do it when I want to see a movie but feel like just being alone and I usually it's at night on a Weekend or a Friday.
I fish alone. [I don't fish]
Take road trips alone. Visit other states/countries alone. [Check]
Go to the beach alone (during the day and night) [Check]
Go for walks at night alone. [Check]
I go for long drives alone. [Check]
I go to the mall alone. [Check]
I plan on even going hunting/camping alone this season.
.

I walk in the morning alone.
I eat at resturants alone
I go to movies alone (and like to go either in the morning or late night so no one with me in the cinema or few people)
I sit alone during breaks between classes in the Uni.
I train alone (unless someone wants to workout with me it's ok and everyone is welcome)


Being alone is cool

[caliprav]

Good post, OP.


Someone once said, "if you can't love yourself, nobody else will."

A part of maturing process is to learn to that you must be content with your own self and understand that the ultimate happiness comes from within, and not from others, money, or any material possessions. Unfortunately, most people seek happiness outside themselves and become dependent on others (or things) to essentially dictate how they should feel. That's why they feel empty and lonely without others.

[JMAG90]

i use to be a pick up artist/play hard and depend on a woman....then i got heartbroken stopped and took a few years of being alone digging into my self

now im happy by my self and a woman is just an option... i enjoy my time more and little hobbies i have

Current story of my life brah

[Yenrac]

Good post, OP.


Someone once said, "if you can't love yourself, nobody else will."

A part of maturing process is to learn to that you must be content with your own self and understand that the ultimate happiness comes from within, and not from others, money, or any material possessions. Unfortunately, most people seek happiness outside themselves and become dependent on others (or things) to essentially dictate how they should feel. That's why they feel empty and lonely without others.

Extremely good post, copy pasta?

[feelsg00dmayne]

you have to understand that there's a big difference between "forever alone" and the concept behind this thread.

the saying "and not a single fukc was given that day" embodies the entire philosophy behind OP's statements.

until you stop caring about what others think, you WILL always be foreveralone.jpg

[DaConstantLiftr]

I have no qualms about going to the movies by myself. If I ate out by myself I would need something to do though like a mag to read.

I think Christopher McCandless got it right through experience though when he wrote, "Happiness is only real when shared."

And that's the point. Human beings a completely co dependent. The lack of company often leads to mental issues. We as a species have to understand at times it's in our favor to act or function alone. However, there are key times where happiness when shared truly leads to greater joy. But, simple tasks such as taking a walk, eating, working out, studying, doing light construction or work around the house, fishing, going to the beach/mall/on long drives...All these can be done alone. When done alone it leads to self reflection, self reflection leads to self realization and understanding. You start to see what you truly like, what you truly think, who you truly are because now you have no one else around to influence your thought process. Additionally it's sad that people can't do minuscule tasks such as listed above without the companionship of others.

As said before this is a sign of dependence and addictive behavior and any behavior of this nature is detrimental to our overall well being.

[DaConstantLiftr]

This thread's a gem. For example: I feel sorry for the ppl desperately searching for people to eat with @ university just to have a superficial talk and not be "alone"...nothing against superficial talk, but I don't really see the point in trying so hard to get nothing out of a conversation (because we're just talking not to be alone - of course there are exceptions, when I meet a friend or a person I like).


(no creep)

This is crucial in understanding the human mind and the nature of our co-dependency. People rather have empty meaningless conversations that doesn't sustain them or their need to be wanted for very long. Superficial conversations leads to superficial relations with that individual. You're talking/communicating with that person for the sake of doing so. The falsehood of these types of interactions show us just how afraid we are to be alone.

As stated these meaningless exchanges doesn't fix the underlying issue which is our fear of loneliness or lack of company. The superficial talks and social gatherings we have only feed our neediness for that brief moment but, once that moment is gone the loneliness and lack of self worth starts to set back in.

People need to understand, behind every action should be meaning, what true happiness is, learn to be comfortable in your own skin and see that superficial behavior makes you a superficial person. The key is to be yourself, once you love and understand yourself people/real friends will fall in line.

[deadfingers]

Good post, OP.


Someone once said, "if you can't love yourself, nobody else will."

A part of maturing process is to learn to that you must be content with your own self and understand that the ultimate happiness comes from within, and not from others, money, or any material possessions. Unfortunately, most people seek happiness outside themselves and become dependent on others (or things) to essentially dictate how they should feel. That's why they feel empty and lonely without others.

I definitely agree with this. I used to be one of those types, and still am in some ways, but I'm slowly learning this fact. Once you feel content with the type of person you are, you can do anything and be with anyone and not feel the least bit bad when they're out of your life.

[BaguetteFO]

Op, you're just a lonely ******* trying to rationalize your lonely life. Nobody can say 'no' to a hot chick or cool buddies to hang out with. You either have no social skills at all or has some sort of genetic mutation that makes you feel okay being alone. That's not how 99% of the world works however.

[DangerousBanana]

I think i might try this... OP makes it sound kinda cool, i dunno how, but he did it

[JackTailor]

Good post...I think people are so obsessed with what others think of them and often are so insecure that they feel the need to be be around "friends". Collecting friends is like a social currency for some people.

[TBProdigy]

I do everything alone and everything described by op, but dont kid yourself, if I had 3 people I could rely on and look out for and vice versa, i would be 10x happier, quality of friends is much more important than quantity

[DaConstantLiftr]

Op, you're just a lonely ******* trying to rationalize your lonely life. Nobody can say 'no' to a hot chick or cool buddies to hang out with. You either have no social skills at all or has some sort of genetic mutation that makes you feel okay being alone. That's not how 99% of the world works however.

I think you're just an insecure individual trying to justify your neediness by assuming I have no social skills or a genetic mutation. If you know anything about anything you would understand if it was an issue it would be a social disorder if anything. But I argue it's the majority who depend on others wholly for self-fullilment are the ones that have a disorder.

The thing is the process of attaining self reliance/independence and true understanding of ourselves as an individual is something that's too hard or too real for some. Just because 99% of the world works one way doesn't make it right. 99% of the world thought the earth was flat at one point but one person thinking outside of the box voiced his opinion and showed them the errors of their ways.

Some people are comfortable being sheep because roaming alone or standing out in a crowd makes everyone look at you strangely or differently. However, it's these differences that make us "individuals" and truly separate us from the 6.5 billion people just like us. Individualism bro, invest in it sometime.

[thatoneguy1990]

MO bro checkin. Mizzou, sup cuzz.

Mo bros, another mizzou dude checkin in.

[ClearlyCanadian]

I've always been a super social person but recently over the last year Ive started to drift from my circle of friends. Not because I dont like them as individuals but mostly because I've matured and realized I dont need to be apart of the herd. Alot of the activities we would partake in were just detrimental and unnecessary to my health and I've grown fed up of it. Over the last 6 months, I've stopped binge drinking, completely stopped smoking weed and cigarettes and started to become very serious about my future aspirations and my overall well-being. Essentially I went from a 2 packs a week smoker, chronic user of marijuana to someone who doesn't partake in any of it.

Recently, about 3 weeks ago, my roommates sort of confronted me about how I've become less social or willing to go out and how all I talk about is my career aspirations and school. I took note of it but it kind of angered me because I am doing things for myself and my own happiness and they are "concerned" for me because I would rather push forward in my academics and my career rather than binge a few nights a week.

Anyways OP good post glad to hear this is just part of "growing up"

[ScubaStevo]

Most people are weak, insecure, and very dependent.

Honestly walking down the street alone or without their cell phone is like a phobia to most people.

[bigjet]

I pretty much do everything alone from eating out to traveling, camping, fishing, studying, watching movies, watching sports, doing sports but I'm not gonna lie, if I could do it with someone else, I'd do it....

[DaConstantLiftr]

What I wanted to address today which is related to the topic of this thread is the thought process of men and women when coming to relationships. What brought me to bring this topic is up is over the past 3 weeks I had about 5 friends come to me with issues surrounding their relationship with their significant other.

So here is my understanding of relationships and what happens after the break-up.

A relationship in a sense is a union of two individuals choosing to be more than just friends. What allows them to be more than just friends is the unspoken understanding of additional emotional, mental and physical support they will provide for each other in addition to being freely sexual with each other.

In terms of commitment males who fall for a girl tend to love deeper. By this I mean a guy before he commits fully to a female in a relationship sits down and rationalizes out his level of commitment. Once his mind is made he dedicates himself fully and wholeheartedly to this female. Even if things get rough and they have fights or break up the guy has hopes or feels no problem will be too big to fix because he assured himself awhile ago that this girl was going to be the one. This is why at times when a female does something to disrespect a guy he sometimes tries to convince himself it’s alright and attempts to look past it. The reason for this is that the male is determined to make this relationship work due to the promise he made to her and more importantly himself. Failure in the relationship will mean failure on his behalf even though it might not be his fault.

In comparison, a female who falls in love usually falls in love superficially. By this I mean females are more emotionally driven and make decisions based on feelings rather than logic. She will fall heads over heels in love with a guy and commit to him fully but later on in the relationship when problems arise and another male comes along who shows her attention she will start to compare her boyfriend or the person she committed to with this new possibility. The reason for this is that women believe it or not like spontaneity more than men. Because this new guy is new and exciting and something unknown her emotions start to drive her once again. Like this we see the difference in levels of commitment between a guy and a girl. A guy takes his time before he commits. This time is usually to assure the guy that this is the right person and she’s worth it. Women tend to look at this “Stalling” of commitment as a lack of commitment or a fear of it but in reality it’s the reasoning of it. Women on the other hand commit based on emotions and later when things get rough try to rationalize being with the individual she committed to.

This difference in logic often leads to women and men never really understanding each other. Women also crave attention; men do to but women at a higher degree. The reason for this is that society places a lot of emphasis on youth, weight and beauty, things all women try to embody. This craving of attention is what causes women to cheat or rebound so fast after a break-up. The need to be needed, when a male gives this to them they feel fulfilled and it assures them that whatever problems they had in the past wasn’t their fault because this new male fancies her. Males crave attention as well but on a different level, males do it to satisfy their own ego. When a male cheats on a female it one of two things, he does it because the females he’s committed to is no longer fulfilling his needs whether it be mentally or physically or he needs to reassure himself he still has what it takes to get a girl.

After a Break-up however we see how the thought process and need to be needed varies in males and females. Females after a break-up tend to jump on the next attractive male to show them some kind of attention. They need to feel wanted, both sexually and emotionally. They see this new person as a replacement of emotional support of their ex-boyfriend. Their weakness and inability to be alone after a break-up leads them to jumping into a relationship or sexual encounter they later turn to regret.

Males after a break-up tend to turn to male friends for emotional and mental support. It’s usually the friends who suggest, “going out and getting laid” but the male usually tries to talk to his friends and reason out as to why they broke up.
To make it simple, females tend attempt to look past the breakup and their ex by jumping into something new rather than to face the relationship they had an attempt to fix it and understand why it ended. Males tend to reflect back and understand where and why it went wrong. Males also take a longer time to rebound and trust females again. They go at times a year or more without a relationship with the opposite sex allowing themselves time to fully heal. Females on the other hand tend to come back after an extended period of time to “fix” the relationship or “talk” about it in hopes of getting back with their ex. This comes only after a series of horrible decisions and regrets leading her to think back on what she had and lost.

[tx_rican]

:'')

[Haterade~]

Only read OP, and... I'm a very independent person, moved away on my own, do literally everything on my own, etc... But, you still need to keep in touch with your friends, or else they will forget about you and move on with their lives. They aren't just going to come begging for your company because of how rare it is to them, not that the OP implied this, but I'm just sayin.

[Honestly]

fuking rep'd OP

[DaConstantLiftr]

Only read OP, and... I'm a very Independence person, moved away on my own, do literally everything on my own, etc... But, you still need to keep in touch with your friends, or else they will forget about you and move on with their lives. They aren't just going to come begging for your company because of how rare it is to them, not that the OP implied this, but I'm just sayin.

This is discussed through the thread. It's good read bro, lots of educated posts by miscers.