I'm always making muscle jokes, usually cracks people up because I really don't have much yet LOL.... What muscle jokes make you laugh or have you used... I'll start
Hey, better call the vet, because these puppies are sick!
Did the zoo call you today?
...Why?
Cause they want their pythons back!
I almost got kicked out of school today. Got caught with a six pack and 2 guns
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Thread: Muscle Jokes....??
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04-27-2011, 02:56 PM #1
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Muscle Jokes....??
~Beth
The ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
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04-27-2011, 04:24 PM #2
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04-27-2011, 04:43 PM #3
- Join Date: Feb 2011
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04-27-2011, 09:07 PM #4
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04-27-2011, 11:45 PM #5
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04-28-2011, 04:03 AM #6
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04-28-2011, 04:51 AM #7
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04-28-2011, 05:12 AM #8
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Did you Hear about the bodybuilder who soaked himself in ice cold water?
He wanted his muscles to have a full contraction.
"You better call a plumber, cause these pipes are about to burst!"
"Call 911...im cut!"
Ugh, They just get worseEric
"Sports do not build character. They reveal it."
"Thin skinned? Now that sounds like a way I could get more shredded....by having thinner skin." - Brackneyc
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely.
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05-08-2012, 07:52 PM #9
****!, Hey can you give me a ride to the vet? Its an emergency! Cause these pythons are sick!
I was watching National Geographic and they say that mount Everest is the highest peak in the world.....Guess they didnt now about mount rightarm and mount leftarm.
If there are really no snakes in Hawaii, then how do you explain THESE PYTHONS!
****, I have to go to the town hall right!.... now do you know where it is!...I need to get these guns registered!
Knock knock! Who's There?.... MY BICEPS!!!!
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05-08-2012, 08:14 PM #10
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05-08-2012, 08:15 PM #11
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05-09-2012, 03:05 AM #12
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05-09-2012, 03:06 AM #13
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This one made me chuckle...
A massive bodybuilder befriends a pretty girl at a local bar. After several drinks and hours of conversation, the two decide to leave and head back to his place. After making out in the bedroom for a while, he stands up and starts to undress. After removing his shirt, he flexes his muscles and says, "See here, baby? That is 1000 pounds of dynamite." She starts to drool, itching with anticipation. The bodybuilder drops his pants next and says, "See these, baby? These legs are 1000 pounds of dynamite." At this point, she is aching to get started. Lastly, he takes of his boxers. The woman screams, grabs her purse, and runs towards the door. He catches her before she can leave and asks what the problem is. She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you could blow at any second!"Instagram - @dazlittle123
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05-09-2012, 04:52 AM #14
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05-09-2012, 07:27 AM #15
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05-09-2012, 09:00 AM #16
Last Summer, I walked into a bar with a sleeveless Tshirt. As I sat down, my buddy kept brushing at my shoulders. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me, "You have two threads hanging from your shirt. I was trying to brush them away."
Envy is ignorance. Imitation is suicide.
-----R. W. Emerson
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05-09-2012, 09:35 AM #17
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05-09-2012, 11:01 AM #18
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