Reply
Results 1 to 18 of 18
  1. #1
    Registered User GirLInterrupted's Avatar
    Join Date: Feb 2011
    Location: Charlotte, North Carolina, United States
    Posts: 1,370
    Rep Power: 3144
    GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500)
    GirLInterrupted is offline

    Muscle Jokes....??

    I'm always making muscle jokes, usually cracks people up because I really don't have much yet LOL.... What muscle jokes make you laugh or have you used... I'll start


    Hey, better call the vet, because these puppies are sick!



    Did the zoo call you today?
    ...Why?
    Cause they want their pythons back!




    I almost got kicked out of school today. Got caught with a six pack and 2 guns
    ~Beth

    The ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
    Reply With Quote

  2. #2
    The Mini Shadow Bando's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2007
    Location: United States
    Posts: 38,485
    Rep Power: 457229
    Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Bando has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    Bando is offline
    How many muscleheads does it take to change a light bulb?

    3, one to change it and two others to stand around saying "your lats are sick bro"
    Don't put that on me Ricky Bobby, don't you ever put that on me.
    Reply With Quote

  3. #3
    Registered User GirLInterrupted's Avatar
    Join Date: Feb 2011
    Location: Charlotte, North Carolina, United States
    Posts: 1,370
    Rep Power: 3144
    GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500)
    GirLInterrupted is offline
    Originally Posted by Oceanside View Post
    I stand corrected...
    LOL....

    oh, and they are out there my friend! I even made up a really lame one, can't believe I'm posting it. I apologize in advance :P

    Hey, do you know where I can get a gun permit? Because the guns are coming out!
    ~Beth

    The ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
    Reply With Quote

  4. #4
    Registered User Do_Somethin's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2007
    Location: Canada
    Posts: 3,351
    Rep Power: 5676
    Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000) Do_Somethin is a name known to all. (+5000)
    Do_Somethin is offline
    How many deadlifts does it take to clear a room?

    It depends on the number of bodies.
    Reply With Quote

  5. #5
    Super Spreader desslok's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2010
    Posts: 34,574
    Rep Power: 243653
    desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) desslok has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    desslok is offline
    This guy walks into a bar...
    Cause the moron forgot to re-rack it.
    Reply With Quote

  6. #6
    Registered User byrontel's Avatar
    Join Date: Aug 2010
    Age: 39
    Posts: 1,157
    Rep Power: 312
    byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50) byrontel will become famous soon enough. (+50)
    byrontel is offline
    Noob Bodybuilder: Do you workout the biceps and triceps to build big arms?

    Clive: Working out the Cliceps will get you big arms.
    Reply With Quote

  7. #7
    Registered User GirLInterrupted's Avatar
    Join Date: Feb 2011
    Location: Charlotte, North Carolina, United States
    Posts: 1,370
    Rep Power: 3144
    GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) GirLInterrupted is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500)
    GirLInterrupted is offline
    Is there a Grain & feed store around?
    Gotta buy some hay to feed these calves!
    ~Beth

    The ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
    Reply With Quote

  8. #8
    "Darkness Falls" merlinsrealm's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2006
    Location: Alexandria, Virginia, United States
    Age: 53
    Posts: 4,621
    Rep Power: 8090
    merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000) merlinsrealm is a name known to all. (+5000)
    merlinsrealm is offline
    Did you Hear about the bodybuilder who soaked himself in ice cold water?

    He wanted his muscles to have a full contraction.



    "You better call a plumber, cause these pipes are about to burst!"


    "Call 911...im cut!"


    Ugh, They just get worse
    Eric

    "Sports do not build character. They reveal it."

    "Thin skinned? Now that sounds like a way I could get more shredded....by having thinner skin." - Brackneyc

    Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely.
    Reply With Quote

  9. #9
    Registered User dajuggarnauth's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2012
    Posts: 1
    Rep Power: 0
    dajuggarnauth has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    dajuggarnauth is offline
    Originally Posted by GirLInterrupted View Post
    I'm always making muscle jokes, usually cracks people up because I really don't have much yet LOL.... What muscle jokes make you laugh or have you used... I'll start


    Hey, better call the vet, because these puppies are sick!



    Did the zoo call you today?
    ...Why?
    Cause they want their pythons back!




    I almost got kicked out of school today. Got caught with a six pack and 2 guns
    ****!, Hey can you give me a ride to the vet? Its an emergency! Cause these pythons are sick!
    I was watching National Geographic and they say that mount Everest is the highest peak in the world.....Guess they didnt now about mount rightarm and mount leftarm.
    If there are really no snakes in Hawaii, then how do you explain THESE PYTHONS!
    ****, I have to go to the town hall right!.... now do you know where it is!...I need to get these guns registered!
    Knock knock! Who's There?.... MY BICEPS!!!!
    Reply With Quote

  10. #10
    GO GREEN! tmonkey's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2009
    Location: Ohio, United States
    Posts: 15,789
    Rep Power: 87028
    tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000)
    tmonkey is offline
    strong bump
    Reply With Quote

  11. #11
    GO GREEN! tmonkey's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2009
    Location: Ohio, United States
    Posts: 15,789
    Rep Power: 87028
    tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) tmonkey has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000)
    tmonkey is offline
    got any tape - i am ripped
    Reply With Quote

  12. #12
    This too shall pass dazlittle's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2010
    Location: United Kingdom (Great Britain)
    Age: 49
    Posts: 2,454
    Rep Power: 24104
    dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000)
    dazlittle is offline
    why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted from his apartment

    Because he was squatting!
    Instagram - @dazlittle123
    Reply With Quote

  13. #13
    This too shall pass dazlittle's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2010
    Location: United Kingdom (Great Britain)
    Age: 49
    Posts: 2,454
    Rep Power: 24104
    dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) dazlittle has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000)
    dazlittle is offline
    This one made me chuckle...

    A massive bodybuilder befriends a pretty girl at a local bar. After several drinks and hours of conversation, the two decide to leave and head back to his place. After making out in the bedroom for a while, he stands up and starts to undress. After removing his shirt, he flexes his muscles and says, "See here, baby? That is 1000 pounds of dynamite." She starts to drool, itching with anticipation. The bodybuilder drops his pants next and says, "See these, baby? These legs are 1000 pounds of dynamite." At this point, she is aching to get started. Lastly, he takes of his boxers. The woman screams, grabs her purse, and runs towards the door. He catches her before she can leave and asks what the problem is. She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you could blow at any second!"
    Instagram - @dazlittle123
    Reply With Quote

  14. #14
    Registered User FCrivello's Avatar
    Join Date: Jan 2012
    Age: 70
    Posts: 113
    Rep Power: 293
    FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50) FCrivello will become famous soon enough. (+50)
    FCrivello is offline
    From an early Monty Python's Flying Circus:

    Reply With Quote

  15. #15
    The Cake Is A Lie! StressMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date: Sep 2007
    Age: 52
    Posts: 12,523
    Rep Power: 45575
    StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) StressMonkey has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000)
    StressMonkey is offline
    There will come a day when I tire of listening to 80's music. That day is not today.

    I Really Miss The Old BodySpace

    -O35 5'8" Crew- -Karl_Hungus Crew-
    Reply With Quote

  16. #16
    Registered User KeepItMoving's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2008
    Location: United States
    Age: 58
    Posts: 4,396
    Rep Power: 71870
    KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000)
    KeepItMoving is offline
    Last Summer, I walked into a bar with a sleeveless Tshirt. As I sat down, my buddy kept brushing at my shoulders. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me, "You have two threads hanging from your shirt. I was trying to brush them away."
    Envy is ignorance. Imitation is suicide.

    -----R. W. Emerson
    Reply With Quote

  17. #17
    I'm not that bright phikappa's Avatar
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Location: CA
    Posts: 38,030
    Rep Power: 158291
    phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) phikappa has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    phikappa is offline
    Originally Posted by KeepItMoving View Post
    Last Summer, I walked into a bar with a sleeveless Tshirt. As I sat down, my buddy kept brushing at my shoulders. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me, "You have two threads hanging from your shirt. I was trying to brush them away."
    Ouch.
    Jon Cole's Gym: '79 - '85
    https://forum.bodybuilding.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=9275071&d=1603917754
    Reply With Quote

  18. #18
    Registered User KeepItMoving's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2008
    Location: United States
    Age: 58
    Posts: 4,396
    Rep Power: 71870
    KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000) KeepItMoving has much to be proud of. One of the best! (+20000)
    KeepItMoving is offline
    Originally Posted by phikappa View Post
    Ouch.
    Naahhh, I thought it was pretty funny.
    Envy is ignorance. Imitation is suicide.

    -----R. W. Emerson
    Reply With Quote

Similar Threads

  1. funny muscle jokes
    By charbar52 in forum Teen Bodybuilding
    Replies: 67
    Last Post: 01-06-2018, 04:39 PM
  2. Funny muscle jokes shirts..
    By user431786 in forum Teen Bodybuilding
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-04-2007, 12:03 PM
  3. muscle jokes
    By Not2Cocky in forum Teen Bodybuilding
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 05-11-2005, 01:44 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts