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  1. #1
    Registered User ziggy5121's Avatar
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    Question Feels like i need to make some drastic changes in my life. (serious)

    18 years old, living with parents. Work as a server at a restaurant.

    Work is mundane, boring, and repetitive. Every day is like wake up, work, home. With the occasional community college class thrown in. Again and again and again. I can't even imagine how much it will suck if i live alone.

    Bout 4 weeks ago i had the first anxiety attack of my life while going through something like an existential crisis. Started having obsessive thoughts, OCD, constant panic and anxiety attacks through the day, derealization, and a bunch of other mental symptoms. With some recommendations from the misc and some reading I was able to find some way to deal with the crisis (ie, find a purpose or reason in life).

    A lot of other things came out as well. Such as the loneliness that i was suppressing after i alienated almost everyone out of my life due to my arrogance, kind of floats right to the top when you have nobody you trust to talk to IRL.

    Even after i felt more or less at peace with life, i had a fear of sleep, and developed hypochondria after becoming obsessed with the thought that i was going schizophrenic or developing some other mental illnesses due to the sudden onset of symptoms which i now attribute to the stress that i was going through. Found myself walking around the streets crying about stuff, stopped going to the gym, stopped eating healthy...and so on.

    Taking things one day at a time and not letting thoughts overcome me, I've been able to sort through the bullsht and kind of set everything in place. Trying to calm down day by day, anxiety attacks drastically disappearing, fear of sleep is mostly gone. Feeling better in that sense.

    However, I'm walking around in somewhat of a depression these last few days. I feel like i have changed my entire outlook on life lately, yet nothing actually in my life is changing. Same work. Same school. Same everything. Coming home and entering my room at the end of the day makes me feel like I'm right back where i started an got nowhere. Even makes me panic again. Games i used to play before aren't interesting any more, arguing on the misc isn't as rewarding as it felt before, everything seems dull.

    I can't shake the feeling that i want and need to go do something else. In the long run i want to hopefully peruse a career where i can work at helping people. Such as a doctor, or doing research in the medical field. But that's far away from now, and i think I'll literally go insane if i keep up with the current routine I'm in. I'm snappy, irritable, unhappy, can't communicate with friends or even parents while I'm in this state.

    On top of that, i have this huge lingering fear that I might not even find anything out there in life. My life now is only going to get worse once i move out. And that I'm really just going absolutely nuts.

    Cliffs-
    -Existential Crisis, which caused a practically complete nervous and mental break down
    -Crisis somewhat overcome, and is replaced by terrors of going crazy due to everything i experienced.
    -Taking it one day at a time, calming down, seem to be getting much better. Don't seem to be going crazy.
    -Depression sinks in. Outlook on life dramatically changed, life hasn't. Everything seems dull and routine now. Interests are fading. Feels like i need to go do something else or find something new to do with my life.

    Thoughts? Opinions? Should i go see a therapist ASAP? Prozac? Zoloft? Heroin?

    Wat do.

    walloftext.jpg:
    It helps a ton to lay stuff out in an organized manner somewhere. The wall of text isn't as much for you as it is for me.
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  2. #2
    Registered User ziggy5121's Avatar
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    Bump. Maybe i should go eat some organic veggies.

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133633861
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  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by fireup6 View Post
    Bump. Maybe i should go eat some organic veggies.

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133633861
    I will rep you for writing this whole post out. And I will read it. And I will reply. But not now, maybe later. When? idk, maybe in a few minutes, maybe tomorrow, maybe next year.
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  4. #4
    Stalkers gonna stalk VendettaV2b's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by fireup6 View Post
    18 years old, living with parents. Work as a server at a restaurant.

    Work is mundane, boring, and repetitive. Every day is like wake up, work, home. With the occasional community college class thrown in. Again and again and again. I can't even imagine how much it will suck if i live alone.

    Bout 4 weeks ago i had the first anxiety attack of my life while going through something like an existential crisis. Started having obsessive thoughts, OCD, constant panic and anxiety attacks through the day, derealization, and a bunch of other mental symptoms. With some recommendations from the misc and some reading I was able to find some way to deal with the crisis (ie, find a purpose or reason in life).

    A lot of other things came out as well. Such as the loneliness that i was suppressing after i alienated almost everyone out of my life due to my arrogance, kind of floats right to the top when you have nobody you trust to talk to IRL.

    Even after i felt more or less at peace with life, i had a fear of sleep, and developed hypochondria after becoming obsessed with the thought that i was going schizophrenic or developing some other mental illnesses due to the sudden onset of symptoms which i now attribute to the stress that i was going through. Found myself walking around the streets crying about stuff, stopped going to the gym, stopped eating healthy...and so on.

    Taking things one day at a time and not letting thoughts overcome me, I've been able to sort through the bullsht and kind of set everything in place. Trying to calm down day by day, anxiety attacks drastically disappearing, fear of sleep is mostly gone. Feeling better in that sense.

    However, I'm walking around in somewhat of a depression these last few days. I feel like i have changed my entire outlook on life lately, yet nothing actually in my life is changing. Same work. Same school. Same everything. Coming home and entering my room at the end of the day makes me feel like I'm right back where i started an got nowhere. Even makes me panic again. Games i used to play before aren't interesting any more, arguing on the misc isn't as rewarding as it felt before, everything seems dull.

    I can't shake the feeling that i want and need to go do something else. In the long run i want to hopefully peruse a career where i can work at helping people. Such as a doctor, or doing research in the medical field. But that's far away from now, and i think I'll literally go insane if i keep up with the current routine I'm in. I'm snappy, irritable, unhappy, can't communicate with friends or even parents while I'm in this state.

    On top of that, i have this huge lingering fear that I might not even find anything out there in life. My life now is only going to get worse once i move out. And that I'm really just going absolutely nuts.

    Cliffs-
    -Existential Crisis, which caused a practically complete nervous and mental break down
    -Crisis somewhat overcome, and is replaced by terrors of going crazy due to everything i experienced.
    -Taking it one day at a time, calming down, seem to be getting much better. Don't seem to be going crazy.
    -Depression sinks in. Outlook on life dramatically changed, life hasn't. Everything seems dull and routine now. Interests are fading. Feels like i need to go do something else or find something new to do with my life.

    Thoughts? Opinions? Should i go see a therapist ASAP? Prozac? Zoloft? Heroin?

    Wat do.

    walloftext.jpg:
    It helps a ton to lay stuff out in an organized manner somewhere. The wall of text isn't as much for you as it is for me.
    Kinda can relate. Let me tell you something

    You are 18. a lot can (WILL) change quickly

    Last month I was down as hell, could find no way out of the rutt I was in, my usual friends were all loved up so I couldnt get them to go out clubbing to meet new girls (just broke up with long relationship) I couldnt think of anyway to meet new people (I work 8-5:30 then train kickboxing 6-9:30 basically everyday) (only 2 hot girls at kickboxing 1's the ex and the other thinks its a bad Idea for us to date). Then out of nowhere my old best mate from HS sends me a fbook message and we get talking and hes been going through wimmen bull**** too. I now have a lads holiday in magaluff booked, A crew of single lads to go out looking for bishes with and we are in talks to find a house share (moved back into the parents 2 years ago and everything was/is easy so Ive just coasted through nice and cheaply).

    The point is bro you are young theres is plenty of stuff going to happen that will change everything everyday...sometimes good/sometimes bad

    Dont take life so seriously, youll never get out alive
    ₪ ₪ ₪TRUE MI$CER₪ ₪ ₪ ~~~ GN ♥ to my OG's ~~~ ☆☆☆υк ˘яєω☆☆☆
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  5. #5
    Registered User ziggy5121's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by VendettaV2b View Post
    Kinda can relate. Let me tell you something

    You are 18. a lot can (WILL) change quickly

    Last month I was down as hell, could find no way out of the rutt I was in, my usual friends were all loved up so I couldnt get them to go out clubbing to meet new girls (just broke up with long relationship) I couldnt think of anyway to meet new people (I work 8-5:30 then train kickboxing 6-9:30 basically everyday) (only 2 hot girls at kickboxing 1's the ex and the other thinks its a bad Idea for us to date). Then out of nowhere my old best mate from HS sends me a fbook message and we get talking and hes been going through wimmen bull**** too. I now have a lads holiday in magaluff booked, A crew of single lads to go out looking for bishes with and we are in talks to find a house share (moved back into the parents 2 years ago and everything was/is easy so Ive just coasted through nice and cheaply).

    The point is bro you are young theres is plenty of stuff going to happen that will change everything everyday...sometimes good/sometimes bad

    Dont take life so seriously, youll never get out alive
    Yeah right now it just seems like there is no end in sight.

    Hopefully it will change. Thanks a lot man.
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  6. #6
    Stalkers gonna stalk VendettaV2b's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by fireup6 View Post
    Yeah right now it just seems like there is no end in sight.

    Hopefully it will change. Thanks a lot man.
    I was same actually getting to the point I thought I was bi-polar - one day I was like fukk yeah young free and single. The next fuk my life no new connections, work/life suck ! etc

    then I thought fukk it everything happens for a reason then my bro from HS (aint spoke in like 6 year) hits me up and looks like my luck is changing
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  7. #7
    Registered User ziggy5121's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by VendettaV2b View Post
    I was same actually getting to the point I thought I was bi-polar - one day I was like fukk yeah young free and single. The next fuk my life no new connections, work/life suck ! etc

    then I thought fukk it everything happens for a reason then my bro from HS (aint spoke in like 6 year) hits me up and looks like my luck is changing
    I started at bi-polar, then moved over to schizophrenia, and then a bunch of other things. It doesn't help that i have some (rather distant) family members with mental illnesses that only reinforced the fear of having something due to genetics.

    It's amazing how quickly you can convince yourself that you have some sort of illness by simply reading about it on wikipedia.
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  8. #8
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    do you even lift?

    anyways, just take a multi brah
    IIFYM, u mad?

    Morning Workout Crew
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  9. #9
    Registered User ziggy5121's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by laes778 View Post
    do you even lift?

    anyways, just take a multi brah
    Been lifting regularly for 3 years. Got to 175lbs. Recently been dropping
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  10. #10
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    Originally Posted by fireup6 View Post
    I started at bi-polar, then moved over to schizophrenia, and then a bunch of other things. It doesn't help that i have some (rather distant) family members with mental illnesses that only reinforced the fear of having something due to genetics.

    It's amazing how quickly you can convince yourself that you have some sort of illness by simply reading about it on wikipedia.
    Sort of the same. My uncle suffered from serve depression and schizophrenia, I was always told "you and your uncle are so close/alike" So I started thinking maybe we were. Then I thought fukk this I aint going where he went (mental hospital for a few months) I was walking them halls to visit him at a very young age and I rather die then end up in one of them places ! In them walls you are no longer a person you are a shell

    I rather deal with my issues then let them deal with me
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  11. #11
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    IMO success is essentially being happy with yourself. I think that it all breaks down to that basic concept. Sure people can make more money and be considered more "successful" but I really feel like as long as a person is happy, money isn't an issue.

    I know how it feels to be backed into a corner circumstantially, but you have the ability to change whatever you want.

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    you need a gf brah....
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    Originally Posted by Juicy- View Post
    IMO success is essentially being happy with yourself. I think that it all breaks down to that basic concept. Sure people can make more money and be considered more "successful" but I really feel like as long as a person is happy, money isn't an issue.
    That's exactly what i used to think. That's exactly what my dad taught me, but now I'm not so sure. If you look at your life in the context of life on earth, you are part of an amazing process of life constantly struggling to evolve higher and higher.

    If you look at your life in the context of the universe you're part of something even more amazing. You're essentially matter rearranging itself in a way that the universe is able to become conscious of itself. You're a human being, possible the most alive, advanced, and amazing thing in existence.

    My happiness is only relevant while I am alive, which is a very short amount of time as I'm mortal. Yet the actions that I make during my life can change this world, help people, and make others happy for hundreds of years. Being 18, with a life full of possibilities ahead of me, i can accomplish so much more than to achieve personal happiness. Isn't that what everyone should stride for, rather than bangin bishes and acquiring currency?


    Video never made sense to me.

    "A survey was done on a group of men...working men...and the survey asked 'Where do you work? Why do you get up in the morning?'...19 out of 20 men had no idea. They simply said 'Everyone goes to work every morning!' and that's the reason they do it. Because everyone else is doing it."

    I'm sorry but my entire life I was under the impression that people went to work because they enjoy not starving to death, rather than just to "fit in" with everyone else. I'm not sure if this video proposes some alternative to working that includes being able to stay alive, I always turned the video off before i found out.

    Originally Posted by fleabass11 View Post
    you need a gf brah....
    I'm trying to develop some kind of proper and productive outlook on life. By "productive" i mean in the context of human kind, not just personal success such as banging bishes and acquiring currency.. Having a GF would be great, but most women just tend to tie you down with some petty insignificant problems.
    Last edited by fireup6; 04-16-2011 at 03:48 AM.
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    Originally Posted by fleabass11 View Post
    you need a gf brah....
    And what's gonna happen when they break up? Back to square one and probably in an even worse mental state because of it.

    OP keep your family close. I know it's uncool to live with your parents but that's probably where you need to be right now. Don't worry about girls, focus on building yourself from the ground up. Work on job prospects and making friends, everything will sort itself out. Oh, and eat healthy.
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  15. #15
    Registered User Akubabu's Avatar
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    It's not uncommon for people who's undergoing the same phase as you are to think that might be going crazy. Think about how rational that thought really is, it's causing you unnessecary anxiety.
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  16. #16
    Registered User 2MUCHCHICKEN's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2010
    Location: S.A, Australia
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    hey bro,
    you described me perfectly, serious, i feel exactly like you have been saying,
    this is why i just quit my job. i believe it was dragging me down to a sense of derealization.
    i finish work in 10 days (had to give notice). i swear the two years i worked there has given me some kind of mental illness.

    i have now decided the only way out of out rutt is to follow your passion/dream.
    im gonna be making less money and its going to be hard to get started but im gonna be teaching drums. i will be making less money, but my quality of life is going to improve 110% if i can get everything sorted.
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    Registered User ziggy5121's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 2MUCHCHICKEN View Post
    hey bro,
    you described me perfectly, serious, i feel exactly like you have been saying,
    this is why i just quit my job. i believe it was dragging me down to a sense of derealization.
    i finish work in 10 days (had to give notice). i swear the two years i worked there has given me some kind of mental illness.

    i have now decided the only way out of out rutt is to follow your passion/dream.
    im gonna be making less money and its going to be hard to get started but im gonna be teaching drums. i will be making less money, but my quality of life is going to improve 110% if i can get everything sorted.
    You have my full support bro. Good luck, i wish i had some solid idea like that to pursue.

    The amount of PM's/reps/posts with people claiming to relate to all this has surprised me.
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