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alright so I was on this flight back from a vacation. this was back when I was drinking a ton of water a day. I had to piss so fuking bad and tried to use the lavatory before they lock it when the plane is on the descent and they turn on the seatbelt light and won't let you get up. well both the front and back restrooms were occupied the whole time so I had to hold it. when we finally landed we had to taxi around for a long ass time waiting for a terminal to open up so we could get out. the flight had already been delayed and this just made things even worse. the whole time everyone is getting antsy. there were some stereotypical NY motherfukers on this flight loudmouthing and whatnot. the pilot comes on the intercom and apologizes and makes jokes and whatnot. he sounded like a total goober and a douche. the seat belt light is still on and you can't walk about the cabin. whole time I'm still holding my piss and contemplating pissing into my water bottle right then and there. my parents noticed me squirming and I let them know what was up and they were like ZOMG no don't piss into your waterbottle if someone sees it could mean indecent exposure charges. finally I say fuk it and get up to go piss. it's locked and the male flight attendant tells me to sit down and I say I gotta piss bro!! then he just tells me to sit again. so I go all the way to the front restroom and told the female flight attendants to open up the restroom because I'm not sitting down. they do and while I'm in there taking the longest piss ever I hear the douche pilot over the intercom saying sorry folks well we would already be there if some people would have used the restroom before the descent like they're supposed to. I'm in there thinking wtf?!?!?! you son of a bitch you can't blame this on me, you're the one that made the flight delayed and created this whole scenario. so I'm done and when I get out there's some people clapping and some people booing me, then I jokingly take a bow. then as I'm walking back to my seat some skater punk sticks his wimpy little foot out in a failed attempt to try and trip me. I barely stubbed my foot and proceeded to take a few steps forward, then turned around and smacked his hat off his head. got to my seat and sat down without any urge to urinate whatsoever.
(no cliffs)(it's not as long a read as it looks)
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