Getting breast implants is causing problems with boyfriend

[limniade]

It hasn't been ignored. She's taken his feelings into account and done what she could to reassure him. Now it's time for him to STFU and get over himself. She should absolutely not forego a surgery she's been planning on since before they met, just because he's feeling insecure about it. That's his problem, not her problem.

[Molec]

It hasn't been ignored. She's taken his feelings into account and done what she could to reassure him. Now it's time for him to STFU and get over himself. She should absolutely not forego a surgery she's been planning on since before they met, just because he's feeling insecure about it. That's his problem, not her problem.

Did he ever make an issue about her needing bigger breasts? NO
Then its clear that he ought to have concerns since she obviously is getting a boob job to get attention/compliments elsewhere. I suggest if he's reading this that he just make sure to keep his options open, because OP is definitely doing so, and that he should trust his gut feelings.

ignore the red)

[DonMegaR]

I'd never let anyone tell me what kinda supplements (or cell-tech) i can and cannot put into my body.

same deal... maybe he needs to step up his game if he thinks he can't keep you around after you get some bitties.

lettuce be cereal for a minute tho... you're 22 you will probably not be with him 5 years down the road so who cares what he thinks?

[limniade]

Did he ever make an issue about her needing bigger breasts? NO
Then its clear that he ought to have concerns since she obviously is getting a boob job to get attention/compliments elsewhere. I suggest if he's reading this that he just make sure to keep his options open, because OP is definitely doing so, and that he should trust his gut feelings.

ignore the red)

Obviously you didn't even read the OP's post. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

[sonti]

Still boggles my mind that people don't realize that some flat-chested women just want to improve their physique and make it look more proportional rather than use gigantic fake titties to bring in a flock of males.

[KFlynn13]

Holy crap this thread is still going.

Guys watch alot of porn...that's a fact.....

What it reels down to...is simple. You weed out the body types you do or don't like and find out what really turns you on. The majority of the guys I've read about on forums don't like fake boobs. There must be a reason for that no?

I was being honest and that somehow turns into a negative...serving your own purpose.

By alot, I don't mean in insane amount...I've come to conclusions by watching enough to where not ALOT of things simply turn me on. In fact..most times I come to fantasize about my girlfriend instead. I mean, nothing beats the real thing.

But feel free to ignore the facts about scarred nipples and women becoming sick after they get breast implants.

Most porn girl boobs are hack-jobs and look terrible, that's a fact.

WHO CARES what guys think about fake boobs.

Nipples get scarred when the implant is inserted through the nipple. I'm not having them inserted through the nipple.

It's the year 2011 now. Enough about this "getting sick" business.

Did he ever make an issue about her needing bigger breasts? NO
Then its clear that he ought to have concerns since she obviously is getting a boob job to get attention/compliments elsewhere. I suggest if he's reading this that he just make sure to keep his options open, because OP is definitely doing so, and that he should trust his gut feelings.

ignore the red)

[JayGor]

Ignore him and get em! if he can't stay with you because you wanted to look your best than thats his prob. When I got my implants (yesterday, literally) my bf stood behind me the whole time and even when I got scared and almost backed out he said he supported me either way and would love me flat chested or artificially enhanced! Thats how it should be! Ignore the 'young' comments, i'm a year younger than you! If you have the finances at 22 to go out and buy a set of boobs your obviously way ahead of most girls your age since most young girls can't keep their bedroom clean or save any money because they spend it all on clothes and drinking!

Don't let his opinion change your mind! It will be the best decision you make! and the size you chose was great! I was a 32b and did 310 cc's. they don't look fake at all and I couldn't be happier!

Good luck! but expect a ton of pain for the first few days!

[Amanda76]

Wow...great job saving up the money for your surgery!

Your boyfriend has issues already. He's going to continue to have them regardless of whether you get implants. If things get worse immediately after your surgery, you'll just have expedited the inevitable.

What really sucks is that he's dragging you down during what should be an exciting time for you...both of you, even. I had the best time with my husband (fiancee at the time) during the week I recovered. He took great care of me...it was so cool to see the nurturing side of him and it tickled me that rather than acting like it was a chore he seemed to enjoy it. All we did was relax, watch movies and eat! Like a really lazy vacation. I really hope you don't miss out on that with his drama.

[KFlynn13]

Ignore him and get em! if he can't stay with you because you wanted to look your best than thats his prob. When I got my implants (yesterday, literally) my bf stood behind me the whole time and even when I got scared and almost backed out he said he supported me either way and would love me flat chested or artificially enhanced! Thats how it should be! Ignore the 'young' comments, i'm a year younger than you! If you have the finances at 22 to go out and buy a set of boobs your obviously way ahead of most girls your age since most young girls can't keep their bedroom clean or save any money because they spend it all on clothes and drinking!

Don't let his opinion change your mind! It will be the best decision you make! and the size you chose was great! I was a 32b and did 310 cc's. they don't look fake at all and I couldn't be happier!

Good luck! but expect a ton of pain for the first few days!

That's awesome and congrats! I was just looking through pictures of breast implants the first week and they look like tor****s LOL it looks like the implant is at the top and the old boob is still at the bottom. Do you know how long it takes for that to go away, or if that will happen at all?

Wow...great job saving up the money for your surgery!

Your boyfriend has issues already. He's going to continue to have them regardless of whether you get implants. If things get worse immediately after your surgery, you'll just have expedited the inevitable.

What really sucks is that he's dragging you down during what should be an exciting time for you...both of you, even. I had the best time with my husband (fiancee at the time) during the week I recovered. He took great care of me...it was so cool to see the nurturing side of him and it tickled me that rather than acting like it was a chore he seemed to enjoy it. All we did was relax, watch movies and eat! Like a really lazy vacation. I really hope you don't miss out on that with his drama.

Thank you, and yeah that's how I feel - this is something that makes me ridiculously excited and happy, and I feel like he's ruining the experience. But lately he hasn't said much at all about it, and everytime I randomly bring it up ("I'm getting boobs soon!!!") he'll either smile and say "I can't wait" OR he will put a sad look on his face and not say anything, but that's usually the end of it. So I think slowly he'll get over it...or once the boobs are here he might be too busy staring at them to say anything ! I just decided that I'm not going to let his crappy attitude bring me down and just laugh it off...

[JayGor]

[QUOTE=KFlynn13;655282043]That's awesome and congrats! I was just looking through pictures of breast implants the first week and they look like tor****s LOL it looks like the implant is at the top and the old boob is still at the bottom. Do you know how long it takes for that to go away, or if that will happen at all?


Lol yes they look kind of silly the first few days, right now the implant is pretty much half way up my chest and 'my boobs' are sitting below. They say it should take a month for them to fall into place and about a year for them to be completely in the right position. Im literally wearing a granny bra right now (which was supplied) and it looks like im wearing one of those 3 way padded push up bras. As long as you wear a dark coloured shirt though no one can notice but you.

[Mavj96]

Dem BOOBIEZ..
No in all seriousness though "he'll get sad and talk about how more guys will try to get with me" lol for real? come on now that's for real INSECURE. Get an alpha man.
<----

[Amanda76]

Thank you, and yeah that's how I feel - this is something that makes me ridiculously excited and happy, and I feel like he's ruining the experience. But lately he hasn't said much at all about it, and everytime I randomly bring it up ("I'm getting boobs soon!!!") he'll either smile and say "I can't wait" OR he will put a sad look on his face and not say anything, but that's usually the end of it. So I think slowly he'll get over it...or once the boobs are here he might be too busy staring at them to say anything ! I just decided that I'm not going to let his crappy attitude bring me down and just laugh it off...

It's good that you stood your ground. Hopefully he is getting to the point that he's accepted it's going to happen and decided to focus on what's good about it. It would be abnormal for him to be able to totally toss his worries aside suddenly, so I wouldn't get too upset about him sulking a bit. Just be glad that he seems to working to control that aspect of himself.

[EntropyS]

We require some pictures of you to give proper advice.

[markymark69]

Meh your both insecure.

Im inclined to agree with this. The OP stated she has wanted implants since she was 14yo. Nobody else finds that odd? Is is not normal for a 14yo wishing she had implants so tops for fit her better and she wouldnt have to 'fuss' with them for an hour to make the top look decent.

OP: You are kidding yourself if you think you will not change. Ever person on this forum that has improved their physique from exercising has changed both mentally and physically. Perhaps he fears those changes. You say you are not superficial, yet you have to spend an hour every day when you put on a shirt because you are an A cup? My wife is a group fitness instructor and is the prototypical sport chick: low bodyfat, lean and A/B breasts. It takes her 30 secs to put on any top..regardless if we are going to a club, dinner, gym, backpacking, etc.

The rest of the forum says 'He is insecure..dump him'. If that is genuinely the case...why have you dated such an insecure guy for 3+yrs? Perhaps you should look inward and ask yourself why have you stuck it out with a guy that:
a) Cheated on you very early in the relationship.
b) Is insecure.

That is why I am inclined to agree with CCS..you both are insecure.

[DonMegaR]

Im inclined to agree with this. The OP stated she has wanted implants since she was 14yo. Nobody else finds that odd? Is is not normal for a 14yo wishing she had implants so tops for fit her better and she wouldnt have to 'fuss' with them for an hour to make the top look decent.

OP: You are kidding yourself if you think you will not change. Ever person on this forum that has improved their physique from exercising has changed both mentally and physically. Perhaps he fears those changes. You say you are not superficial, yet you have to spend an hour every day when you put on a shirt because you are an A cup? My wife is a group fitness instructor and is the prototypical sport chick: low bodyfat, lean and A/B breasts. It takes her 30 secs to put on any top..regardless if we are going to a club, dinner, gym, backpacking, etc.

The rest of the forum says 'He is insecure..dump him'. If that is genuinely the case...why have you dated such an insecure guy for 3+yrs? Perhaps you should look inward and ask yourself why have you stuck it out with a guy that:
a) Cheated on you very early in the relationship.
b) Is insecure.

That is why I am inclined to agree with CCS..you both are insecure.

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

[KFlynn13]

Im inclined to agree with this. The OP stated she has wanted implants since she was 14yo. Nobody else finds that odd? Is is not normal for a 14yo wishing she had implants so tops for fit her better and she wouldnt have to 'fuss' with them for an hour to make the top look decent.

OP: You are kidding yourself if you think you will not change. Ever person on this forum that has improved their physique from exercising has changed both mentally and physically. Perhaps he fears those changes. You say you are not superficial, yet you have to spend an hour every day when you put on a shirt because you are an A cup? My wife is a group fitness instructor and is the prototypical sport chick: low bodyfat, lean and A/B breasts. It takes her 30 secs to put on any top..regardless if we are going to a club, dinner, gym, backpacking, etc.

The rest of the forum says 'He is insecure..dump him'. If that is genuinely the case...why have you dated such an insecure guy for 3+yrs? Perhaps you should look inward and ask yourself why have you stuck it out with a guy that:
a) Cheated on you very early in the relationship.
b) Is insecure.

That is why I am inclined to agree with CCS..you both are insecure.

At 14-15 years old I also longed for a lean, athletic physique. The only thing that has changed about me since reaching that goal was that I'm happy with the way my body looks and clothes fit better and look nicer. I'm able to wear things that I wouldn't have worn beforehand. So according to you and all of the other negative Nancy's; should I have remained skinny-fat instead of doing something about what I was unhappy with?

What is so wrong with having aesthetic goals? If I liked how black hair looked I would dye my hair black, instead of being idle and wishing I had black hair. I don't like how my flat chest looks, therefore I'm getting bigger boobs.

"Over an hour" = obvious exaggeration of time.

When I wear a regular non-crew-neck shirt or sweater - half of my bra shows because the shirt lays pretty flat against my chest. So yes this is something that takes extra time every day to fix.

I didn't say he has been insecure about the surgery for 3 years. I said he has been insecure about the surgery after I booked the surgery date.

About him cheating on me early in the relationship - You think I should leave him NOW because of something that happened 3 years ago?

[IronRooster2]

Using the power of science:

Your boyfriend hates chunks of rubber.

So you must now:

a) Dump him, since he had to come up with a weak strategy to try to fight it.

b) Dump yourself, for being the sort of person that required him to use a weak strategy to fight it.

c) Love him forever for being the sort of guy who handles you with mittens so you won't break.

I don't see how anyone could read the OP any other way.

[markymark69]

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

*edit* nvm...I get it now.

[markymark69]

At 14-15 years old I also longed for a lean, athletic physique. The only thing that has changed about me since reaching that goal was that I'm happy with the way my body looks and clothes fit better and look nicer. I'm able to wear things that I wouldn't have worn beforehand. So according to you and all of the other negative Nancy's; should I have remained skinny-fat instead of doing something about what I was unhappy with?

What is so wrong with having aesthetic goals? If I liked how black hair looked I would dye my hair black, instead of being idle and wishing I had black hair. I don't like how my flat chest looks, therefore I'm getting bigger boobs.

"Over an hour" = obvious exaggeration of time.

When I wear a regular non-crew-neck shirt or sweater - half of my bra shows because the shirt lays pretty flat against my chest. So yes this is something that takes extra time every day to fix.

I didn't say he has been insecure about the surgery for 3 years. I said he has been insecure about the surgery after I booked the surgery date.

About him cheating on me early in the relationship - You think I should leave him NOW because of something that happened 3 years ago?

I am not stating you are wrong for getting implants. If they will make you feel better about yourself, feel sexier, etc. that is totally cool. Every single person on this site wants to be looked at, ogled, desired, etc. Thats why we all post pics of ourselves. However, I question someone that is 14-15yo desiring implants. But that is neither here..nor there.


If what you say is true...that he is indeed been this confident guy for over 3yrs, rather than follow the advice given to you by others to 'dump his insecure a$$ immediately'...you should probably examine why this sudden insecurity popped up. There are most certainly underlying factors involved. Maybe deep down he cant stand you bartending, who knows...only he knows and only you can find out.

I dont care what anyone says on this site: Good communication is the backbone to any successful relationship.

[DonMegaR]

*edit* nvm...I get it now.

please tell me you replied to this with a serious answer and i just didn't see it

[sonti]

You probably never had that discussion with them, but at 14-15 years old, yes, MANY girls want implants. 14 year old girls are very susceptible to the pressure and standards of 'beauty' that 14-15 year old boys are obsessed with. I sure did when I was 14! And at 26, don't care to get them (despite still being a small B). However, as a grown woman, I know that it's not a big deal to me anymore. But to a 14 year old girl, yes, being 'pretty' and 'attractive' to boys is what the world revolves around.

[InThePocket]

I only read the OP, so this may have been said.

An A cup to 350ccs is not going to make to look like a porn star. Assuming you did your research and picked a good surgeon, they will likely look great.

Your confidence will probably go through the roof, and confidence is as magnetic as large breasts. Your BF is right, you will get hit on more. You will (naturally) want to show off your new body. You will get looked at and stared at more, by both men and woman.

Out of curiousity, would you say you are a flirt? If you are, try to put yourself in his place and imagine him getting lots of extra attention and eating it up and encouraging it. If you aren't, and you don't lead people on/flirt/tease/etc, hopefully he will see that you are the same girl, with more confidance.

I can see that you care for him, but trust me when I say you do not want to spend your life energy reassuring an insecure man. It will get old FAST.

[limniade]

I feel obligated to point out the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that regardless whether the OP wanted implants (or, at least, larger breasts) when she was 14, and whether that was healthy or rational or not, the fact is that today she is no longer 14 but a fully-grown adult. She's had eight years to change her mind on the subject, and she hasn't. I'd say that's a well-considered decision then, as it should be.

Likewise, nobody on this forum can tell the OP what her personality is like now, or what it'll be like after surgery, or what her motivations are. We don't know her. She knows herself. She is the expert on what she thinks. The end.

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Didn't read the whole thread and this has probably been said, but it seems that men honestly believe the ONLY reason a woman would get implants is to get more attention from men. They seem unable to consider anything else.

[Mcheather]

I have breast implants. I think many who are answering are blowing this out of proportion. My husband had some similar concerns and I think that it is normal. Men like boobs -period. So when his significant other gets bigger ones it's no surprise he would think more men would look at you. As far as you leaving him, that does show insecurity, but again normal in that it's hard when you can snap you fingers so to speak and make such a big difference in your appearance. I don't think it's enough to leave him over. Part of it may be a bit of jealousy too....I love my implants, I didn't think about leaving my husband, and I most certainly have more confidence and get more attention from men. It has been a couple years now and he is fine now. Keep communicating and if this relationship is meant to be it will continue regardless of boobs. Best of luck to you.

[AlyseMcKee]

At 32 A, I didn't have any trouble finding a bra, I never needed one! Still don't

I don't really understand why flat chested girls who are considering implants often say, "I want to be able to fit into clothes." What kind of tops require boobs? I just buy a size small.

That.
I've been a small chested girl, at least until I had a kid and they got a tad bigger (a B NOW!)

I used to want them, but I figured I'm not going to be happy either way. I'll complain about a scar or how one is slightly [insert word] than the other. If I'm insecure enough to want them to make myself look better booby wise, I'll be insecure enough to find something about them I won't like down the road.

OP: It's your choice. Do what you want, it's your body. No one can tell you not to. As for your boyfriend, he's insecure. But that's not a negative quality. Obviously you're insecure about your tits. He's the kind of guy who's worried that some alpha male is going to come take his woman. It's a pretty normal thing. Do it if you want, see how it goes. No one can tell you what to do with him, or how to go about this. It's your situation, it's your relationship. We don't know every detail or how you two relate.

Just do it, and if it goes well, then great. If it doesn't work out, then you'll find someone else that is okay with it. The world has many many men out there looking for a mate.

[KFlynn13]

Why are so many people saying "get it done if you want to"... Seems like a lot of misunderstanding.

Facts/Cliffs:

-I am getting the procedure. I never asked if I should get it done, I've never even considered NOT getting it done.
-My boyfriend has never said that I shouldn't do it. He doesn't care if I get them or don't get them.
-He started acting insecure about it AFTER I booked the surgery date. Once again, he never said to not get it done. He has just been acting insecure saying that I'm going to leave him and whatnot.

I feel like this thread should be closed!!!!

[batmanman]

I don't think I've ever felt fake boobs, what do they feel like?

I wouldnt want a girlfriend with stiff hard boobs

[puro supafly]

...everytime I randomly bring it up ("I'm getting boobs soon!!!")...

Yeah, maybe you should stop doing that lol. He knows you're getting them. You know you're getting them. We ALL know you're getting them. If you want to ease the guy's feelings a bit (seems like you just want him to feel better about it from your posts), then hide your enthusiasm a little. You're trying to convey that you're fixing a deformity (or inconvenience in your case), and not enhancing your sexuality and having more "fun" with your interactions with other males. Try to be all business about it, before and after the surgery, and I think think that will go a long way in showing him you're serious about the operation and your goals.

But ultimately, what will solve your bf's problem is time. As long as you keep your word and don't wear anything that's MORE revealing than what you currently wear, then he'll realize you didn't get them to "show off", and life is back to the way it was before your surgery. But if all of a sudden you start showing your new cleavage off with shirts that show a lot more, then his insecurities will only get worse...

[limniade]

I don't think I've ever felt fake boobs, what do they feel like?

I wouldnt want a girlfriend with stiff hard boobs

The bigger the difference between the "before" size and the "after" size, the harder the boobs tend to feel. Generally speaking, someone going up only one cup size or so (like an A to a large B cup) will get a much more natural result than someone going up from, say, an A to a large C or a D.

So, short answer: the more real they look, the more real they'll probably feel.

Speaking for myself, I don't really have a basis of comparison because I was an A/AA cup before, and being a straight woman I haven't exactly had occasion to feel boobs for myself to compare. I have actually polled boyfriends about it, though, and they all said they felt natural. And believe me, these guys were all the kind who routinely suffered from foot-in-mouth disease and had a tendency to be TOO honest about things they should really STFU about (like, "Wow, your sister is hot! Too bad I didn't meet her first," or "Jeez, if I'd known we weren't gonna have sex tonight, I wouldn't have bothered coming over!"). Not exactly Mr. Suave "say what she wants to hear" kind of guys. So if my boobs *did* feel noticeably fake, I feel certain that they would've said so.