Getting breast implants is causing problems with boyfriend

[KFlynn13]

Please leave out the anti-breast implant remarks.

I've wanted breast implants for as long as I can remember. My surgery date is in 2 months and I've never been so excited in my life. Knowing that I'll have something I've never had before, and didn't think I'd EVER be able to save up for, just feels amazing and like a dream. I still won't believe it until they're in my chest

I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. Ever since I set the surgery date, he's been bringing me down. Whenever I talk about the surgery, he'll get sad and talk about how more guys will try to get with me...that it's "bad enough now and with boobs it'll just be unbearable". He also thinks it'll give me so much confidence that I'll leave him because I'll think I'm too good for him.

I ask if he's happy for me and he says "yeah I am very happy for you...but you're going to leave me or be superficial, and I'm going to be saying 'I told you so' "

I ask if he'd prefer if I not get them, and he says "it's not that...I know how bad you've wanted them...and I'll have new toys to play with...but you dress sexy, and I know you're going to be wearing clothes that show them off" and "girls with boobs get tons of attention from guys. you already get tons of attention from guys. what do you think is going to happen when you get boobs? you just don't get it..."

I understand WHY he's being like this, I'm sure anyone would feel insecure if their spouse/partner did something drastic to their appearance that attracted the opposite sex, but I feel offended that he really thinks I'm going to turn into a different person. I don't even see it that way, AT ALL. I see it as "awesome, I'll be able to throw on any type of shirt and not have to fuss with it for an hour everyday" I feel like this will most definitely cause a lot of problems in the future, after I get the surgery. I don't really know what to do at this point besides say things to try to make him feel better about it.

[Keltron]

Well, you're only 22. It's not like this is your husband with whom you have children with and have built a life with.

[Juicymango]

Did not read whole post. Guy sounds insecure. It's your business if you want to get carved up; your body, not his. Do what you want.

[Syfon]

My partner wants breast implants. I told her to go for it, i would love her with bigger breasts and i realise she would get more attention from other males but I guess that is part of having a partner who has large breasts; guys are always going to look....

[Lunu]

I think he sounds selfish and insecure...

[Like It Or Not]

Just out of curiosity, what is you current bra size now, and what size are you going to be? Also, I know you want them, but why? Is it to attract attention? To get more confidence in yourself? What is the real reason?

Obviously, your BF is a little insecure, and it doesn't sound like you're really helping him much. It sounds like he really loves you and doesn't want to lose you and loves you the way you are, that's what he fell in love with, not a bigger boob version of you.

[erinlee01]

It's your body and your decision. Since you say you've been wanting them forever, it's not like it's a surprise that you're doing it or that it's out of character for you. He either needs to get on board and be supportive, or get out of the relationship. If he really thinks you're doing it to get attention from men and/or to find someone else and leave him, then I can't imagine why he'd stick around and wait for it to happen. From your perspective, you deserve someone who is supportive and who trusts you.

[whatevergirl]

I agree with erin. I think that it's a personal choice, for sure...he really has no say, to be honest. He really doesn't. It's not like you're asking him to have plastic surgery done. This is for you, you have wanted this for a while, you say. I would definitely reassure him, though, that you love him...and that he needs to trust you.

Men will hit on attractive women...if the woman is 'taken,' then it's up to her to deflect that attention. He might be confused about your motivation...for if HE likes your boobs as is, then he might wonder what your need to get them are. I see both sides in this, to a degree. But, it's your body. Your money. And in every relationship, trust needs to be key. Just reassure him when you can...and he needs to trust you. Meeting each other halfway. I wish you luck with this! I have been thinking of getting this done at some point ....it's a big decision.

[JeepCreeper]

1. Your boyfriend is insecure.
2. I don't believe that the reason you want them is for better fitting clothes. You want/like attention. Nothing wrong with that, but lets be honest.
3. I will bet money that your relationship with this guy will not last long after the operation. His insecurity is going to be a big turnoff to you, and your subsequent change in attitude towards him is just going to fuel his insecurities.
4. You're 22. 99.9999% chance this relationship won't last anyway.

[b0yer]

bf has insecurity issues. I'd be pumped I had a gf with breast implants.

[PLANETGETLOW]

Ah craaap. I wanted to edit the title to say "Getting breast implants is causing problems with boyfriend". Please leave out the anti-breast implant remarks.

I've wanted breast implants for as long as I can remember. My surgery date is in 2 months and I've never been so excited in my life. Knowing that I'll have something I've never had before, and didn't think I'd EVER be able to save up for, just feels amazing and like a dream. I still won't believe it until they're in my chest

I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. Ever since I set the surgery date, he's been bringing me down. Whenever I talk about the surgery, he'll get sad and talk about how more guys will try to get with me...that it's "bad enough now and with boobs it'll just be unbearable". He also thinks it'll give me so much confidence that I'll leave him because I'll think I'm too good for him.

I ask if he's happy for me and he says "yeah I am very happy for you...but you're going to leave me or be superficial, and I'm going to be saying 'I told you so' "

I ask if he'd prefer if I not get them, and he says "it's not that...I know how bad you've wanted them...and I'll have new toys to play with...but you dress sexy, and I know you're going to be wearing clothes that show them off" and "girls with boobs get tons of attention from guys. you already get tons of attention from guys. what do you think is going to happen when you get boobs? you just don't get it..."

I understand WHY he's being like this, I'm sure anyone would feel insecure if their spouse/partner did something drastic to their appearance that attracted the opposite sex, but I feel offended that he really thinks I'm going to turn into a different person. I don't even see it that way, AT ALL. I see it as "awesome, I'll be able to throw on any type of shirt and not have to fuss with it for an hour everyday" I feel like this will most definitely cause a lot of problems in the future, after I get the surgery. I don't really know what to do at this point besides say things to try to make him feel better about it.

I fixed the title for you.

[CreativeRick]

Ditch the BF now.

-He should support what you want to do
-BF has problem now, and will [likely] never let you forget about your choice
-BF will likely be unsupportive in other life choices you make

[mrmbm]

Ditch the BF now.

-He should support what you want to do
-BF has problem now, and will [likely] never let you forget about your choice
-BF will likely be unsupportive in other life choices you make

Could not agree more...especially with the last statement.



Congrats to you on the surgery date!!!

[NotBigEnough206]

You are 22, invest that money in to something smart.

You wil get older, so will the body, and they will sag.

Tell your bf to man up.

[Zey55]

Ditch the BF now.

-He should support what you want to do
-BF has problem now, and will [likely] never let you forget about your choice
-BF will likely be unsupportive in other life choices you make

this is stupid, if you're such a big part of each others lives something like this shouldnt even matter. Maybe he is insecure now, but thats something he jsut cant help. Why don't you not listen to people like this so you can show him that you're not some stupid bimbo and you just want them so you can feel confident... with him.

[djhavoc]

Your 22 and young...do what you want sounds to me like he's insecure.

[TonicWater]

Just out of curiosity, what is you current bra size now, and what size are you going to be? Also, I know you want them, but why? Is it to attract attention? To get more confidence in yourself? What is the real reason?

Obviously, your BF is a little insecure, and it doesn't sound like you're really helping him much. It sounds like he really loves you and doesn't want to lose you and loves you the way you are, that's what he fell in love with, not a bigger boob version of you.

You are 22, invest that money in to something smart.

You wil get older, so will the body, and they will sag.

Tell your bf to man up.

I'm somewhat a mix of these two.

Why do you want them?
Do you need them?

You've said you want them, but not why. Instead you're throwing this story as if its all him being insecure. Perhaps his insecurities are valid and understandable.

Even if you wanted them for years, have you ever thought how it might make him feel ****ty? Its kind of signalling to him that he's inadequate to make you feel complete and that you still need a further external resource to feel happy. He's human too and every man, even the most confident man suffers human worries from time to time. Especially when its someone they care a lot about and is significant to them.

I would be interested to know what your motivations are in getting implants. You haven't said them, just that you want them and for a long time. I wonder if you're lying to yourself why you want these and if that isn't translating across to him. Tell us what your true motivations are and I would ask you be honest. If you've wanted something for so long, it should be clear what the reason is, and if you have trouble describing it after all that time, you'll have many issues to deal with.

I know if my fiance wanted a boob job, I would wonder what her motivation were, regardless if she'd wanted them for 10 years. I know I'd also feel like I'd failed in making her feel she didn't need to be anything more than she already was.

[NotBigEnough206]

I'm somewhat a mix of these two.

Why do you want them?
Do you need them?

You've said you want them, but not why. Instead you're throwing this story as if its all him being insecure. Perhaps his insecurities are valid and understandable.

Even if you wanted them for years, have you ever thought how it might make him feel ****ty? Its kind of signalling to him that he's inadequate to make you feel complete and that you still need a further external resource to feel happy. He's human too and every man, even the most confident man suffers human worries from time to time. Especially when its someone they care a lot about and is significant to them.

I would be interested to know what your motivations are in getting implants. You haven't said them, just that you want them and for a long time. I wonder if you're lying to yourself why you want these and if that isn't translating across to him. Tell us what your true motivations are and I would ask you be honest. If you've wanted something for so long, it should be clear what the reason is, and if you have trouble describing it after all that time, you'll have many issues to deal with.

I know if my fiance wanted a boob job, I would wonder what her motivation were, regardless if she'd wanted them for 10 years. I know I'd also feel like I'd failed in making her feel she didn't need to be anything more than she already was.

I just got out of it with a girl that keeps saying she always wanted implants, and I have told her why, so you can look like the typical bimbo.

Her goal in life was to look good, find a rich guy and get hiched, I was like ok, But you will get older and well uglier, the rich guy will still be rich, but he will find a hottie again and replace you.

Why dont you get an education and make your self rich if you want it that bad, nonetheless, she saw that with me she isnt getting anywhere, she was just a friend with some benefits, and I sent her packing after she pissed me off.

[KFlynn13]

Thanks for all the responses.

Since you say you've been wanting them forever, it's not like it's a surprise that you're doing it or that it's out of character for you.

That's what I'm saying...he's known for over 3 years that I was going to get the procedure done at some point. After I set the surgery date is when he started to act insecure about it.

2. I don't believe that the reason you want them is for better fitting clothes. You want/like attention. Nothing wrong with that, but lets be honest.

So everyone who changes a part of their appearance that they don't like, does it to get attention? Oh, okay troll.

I fixed the title for you.

Thank you

I'm somewhat a mix of these two.

Why do you want them?
Do you need them?

You've said you want them, but not why. Instead you're throwing this story as if its all him being insecure. Perhaps his insecurities are valid and understandable.

Even if you wanted them for years, have you ever thought how it might make him feel ****ty? Its kind of signalling to him that he's inadequate to make you feel complete and that you still need a further external resource to feel happy. He's human too and every man, even the most confident man suffers human worries from time to time. Especially when its someone they care a lot about and is significant to them.

I would be interested to know what your motivations are in getting implants. You haven't said them, just that you want them and for a long time. I wonder if you're lying to yourself why you want these and if that isn't translating across to him. Tell us what your true motivations are and I would ask you be honest. If you've wanted something for so long, it should be clear what the reason is, and if you have trouble describing it after all that time, you'll have many issues to deal with.

I know if my fiance wanted a boob job, I would wonder what her motivation were, regardless if she'd wanted them for 10 years. I know I'd also feel like I'd failed in making her feel she didn't need to be anything more than she already was.

Reason I want them: Same reasons why most women get them. I'm an 32A and want bigger breasts. I don't fill in bras, getting dressed and shopping is a pain in the ass, I like how bigger boobs look, etc. I could go on all day.
Of course I don't *need* them. The only things humans need are food and clean water. And maybe some TP.

He hates his teeth...I think they are fine...if he chose to get braces then I wouldn't put him down for it...I'd be happy that he was doing something to feel better about himself...my love/support isn't going to make him see perfect teeth in the mirror.

How big they will be: I'm not sure what the bra size will be yet, but the implant size is 350cc. When people are ignorant to breast implants, they think of fake-looking porn star boobs. That is not my goal. There are tons of women who have fake breasts and you can't even tell.

I'm not insecure or ashamed --- I simply have never LIKED how they look, with or without clothes. Just like most of us here started working out because they wanted their body to look better (based on what THEY felt looked better).

So now that you know my personal reasons for doing it, all of that is irrelevant really...because he already knows this and has had to put up with me complaining about it.

[whatevergirl]

Thanks for all the responses.




That's what I'm saying...he's known for over 3 years that I was going to get the procedure done at some point. After I set the surgery date is when he started to act insecure about it.




So everyone who changes a part of their appearance that they don't like, does it to get attention? Oh, okay troll.




Thank you






Reason I want them: Same reasons why most women get them. I'm an 32A and want bigger breasts. I don't fill in bras, getting dressed and shopping is a pain in the ass, I like how bigger boobs look, etc. I could go on all day. IMO this has nothing to do with him...he doesn't have to deal with the daily frustrations, because he is not me. So obviously it doesn't matter to him whether I get it done or not- because he is not me!
Of course I don't *need* them. The only things humans need are food and clean water.

He hates his teeth...I think they are fine...if he chose to get braces then I wouldn't put him down for it...I'd be happy that he was doing something to feel better about himself...my love/support isn't going to make him see perfect teeth in the mirror.

How big they will be: I'm not sure what the bra size will be yet, but the implant size is 350cc. When people who are ignorant to breast implants, they think of fake-looking porn star boobs. That is not my goal. There are tons of women who have fake breasts and you can't even tell.

I'm not insecure or ashamed --- I simply have never LIKED how they look, with or without clothes. Just like most of us here started working out because they wanted their body to look better (based on what THEY felt looked better).

So now that you know my personal reasons for doing it, all of that is irrelevant really...because he already knows this and has had to put up with me complaining about it.

I really enjoyed reading this post; this is articulated so well! I like the braces analogy too. I hope everything goes well for you, with all of this. Including with your bf!

[erinlee01]

I really enjoyed reading this post; this is articulated so well! I like the braces analogy too. I hope everything goes well for you, with all of this. Including with your bf!

I was just going to post the same thing.

[FortFrolic]

I'm not for or against implants... but just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.

If your boyfriend can't handle it, maybe you'll find someone else at some point who can. knowutImsayin?'

32A, ain't nothing wrong with that. All sizes and shapes, not a big deal for most guys. Do it for you though.

[boshiboshibom]

It's about what you do, not what you say. Get the implants and then see if he is still the same. If you are still the same person and he is still insecure, maybe he just isn't suited for dating a woman who will have attention from other guys. Anyways, good luck on your surgery! Hope you have fun wearing V-necks, when I wear them I look like a man haha.

[Bonifacius]

He sounds insecure. Personally, I would love it if my gf got new tatas, I would try to convince her but I'm afraid she might ask me to foot the bill.

[pantera2]

My personal opinion is do what you wanna do its your body... having said that.. I tend to think and im not judging at all and I could be totally wrong, but maybe no one including your bf make you feel beautiful enough to not need them... my fiancee wants breast implants and I have told her countless times if you want them thats your choice but I fell in love with you how you are (I know corny) but true... hopefully you wont take this as your bf doesn't love you I can't say he doesn't but i think women in general are so concerned about it because of modern society. I'd rather have a girl that has natural real beauty.. but i'm also a guy and wouldn't say no to her getting implants lol... plus all of our opinions don't really matter seeing as we are not a true part of your life. Do what you FEEL is best end of story.

[lexinak]

I'm somewhat a mix of these two.

Why do you want them?
Do you need them?

You've said you want them, but not why. Instead you're throwing this story as if its all him being insecure. Perhaps his insecurities are valid and understandable.

Even if you wanted them for years, have you ever thought how it might make him feel ****ty? Its kind of signalling to him that he's inadequate to make you feel complete and that you still need a further external resource to feel happy. He's human too and every man, even the most confident man suffers human worries from time to time. Especially when its someone they care a lot about and is significant to them.

I would be interested to know what your motivations are in getting implants. You haven't said them, just that you want them and for a long time. I wonder if you're lying to yourself why you want these and if that isn't translating across to him. Tell us what your true motivations are and I would ask you be honest. If you've wanted something for so long, it should be clear what the reason is, and if you have trouble describing it after all that time, you'll have many issues to deal with.

I know if my fiance wanted a boob job, I would wonder what her motivation were, regardless if she'd wanted them for 10 years. I know I'd also feel like I'd failed in making her feel she didn't need to be anything more than she already was.

You're setting yourself up for failure, buckaroo. There is no way - literally no way - that you can 100% complete your lady's life so that she gives up all other pursuits of dreams, self-improvement, etc. And honestly, expecting her to give those things up is not okay.

[SJBC]

Why dont you get an education and make your self rich ....

This is the best advice in the whole thread. And I would add, invest the $ instead of the operation..but sounds like you are set and that won't happen. When you get into your 30's this is how you think.....

[AfrikaUnite]

I don't blame your bf

[hvivona]

I'm not sure why so many people are bashing her for wanting implants... Its her freakin' body! As for the BF- he's very insecure. You need to do what makes you happy! What makes you confident! If can't deal with that then there are plenty of men out there who can.

[TonicWater]

You're setting yourself up for failure, buckaroo. There is no way - literally no way - that you can 100% complete your lady's life so that she gives up all other pursuits of dreams, self-improvement, etc. And honestly, expecting her to give those things up is not okay.

I knew when I typed that, it was hard for me to explain what I properly meant at the end. I thought mature people would know what I'm getting at. When you care about someone, properly, its not all about you anymore. Individually you two are one thing, and together its something more than the sum of its parts. I cannot describe it properly, either you experience it and know or you don't.

I would expect her to want to continue to grow as a person. I do not mean I want her to be dependent on me if that's how its read. To me, there is an aspect tho where I would feel insecure or inadequate, and yes definately a failure if I knew that she wanted implants for a number of reasons and motivations. Not all reasons. I can think of many where I would be hurt tho. As dumb as it sounds, that type of worry is healthy. It probably shows I care about what she thinks because she's significant and important to me. When I make decisions, my S/O is part of my thoughts.

And call me TonicWater. Buckaroo is rather condescending and you have no liscence for it.