Ladies what are some basic requirements you have when looking for a man? (srs)

[mitsukibody]

1. Bodybuilder
2. Similar sense of humour
3. Cheeky smile
4. Honest
5. Loves to EAT!

q. how many squats can you do?

[amec]

These kinds of posts make me rage. That's the usual laundry list of things women require. Yet, so few of them actually offer anything in return. Most women think their looks alone are enough to get them by in a relationship. Guess what, sugar pop, with a laundry list like that you better be prepared to bring more then a pretty face. Too often, women expect us guys to validate ourselves to them without them doing the same for us. I'm calling you out; what exactly do you offer in a relationship that would make up for that whole list of things?

My list consists of things that I apply to myself as well. I obviously wouldn't write something down that I didn't think I could offer the other person in return. Most of my list is pretty basic, with traits both partners must have for a relationship to work (except for the likes section, although it's always good to have things in common. But I guess that can be waived.

To be honest, who knows who I will end up with, maybe he will be:

unattractive to me
20 years older
5'1" or shorter
a liar
Sulks, and bottles things up
hates hugs or cuddling
"not ready for commitment"
Doesn't know what he wants
boring
serious
selfish
cheater
unfriendly
Debbie downer
super religious
Doesn't like sex
Drug addict
alcoholic
Lazy
doesn't work out
doesn't work
lives out of state/country?
slob/messy
hates traveling
has never read a book

AKA the opposite of my list.

To be honest, the above description doesn't appeal to me. The list I provided had all of the morals,beliefs, habits I abide by. If I can't find someone that will at least meet me half way, then I guess I'll be foreveralone.jpg








.

[perumina]

but...when I was dating...
-tall
-straightforward/to the point
-foreign/mysterious/exotic

[Jeshi]

Heck if I know.

My boyfriend is:
- socially awkward
- hilarious
- hates dancing
- thoughtful
- doesn't believe in marriage / want to get married
- can be a bit jerkish
- misunderstands what I say sometimes
- very motivated
- I find him very attractive, hes my first redhead
- great in bed

To me, he is just perfect and we fit really well together. Basically, I don't think there is any "set" of requirements I look for when trying to find a man. There have been compromises that's for sure. We went into our relationship with all the cards on the table.

Having expectations before you even meet the guy is kind of .... well lame. You might putdown a guy because he doesn't fit on your list... and he might be the best thing for you. I mean at least tell him what you expect of him right away.

[LovesMuscles]

Oops I should have added in my original post "must be atheist"

Can't believe I missed this one.

If he spews any creationist blabber, I'd have to reconsider. Really.


I wouldn't call myself an atheist just yet but I wonder about the reactions you get when you announce that you don't believe in God. I know I'm digressing here but fack it. Some bible thumpers who came into my job, randomly asked if I were Christian and that followed with an attempt to persuade me that a life devoted to God is a great one. I just nodded and didn't reveal that I was a skeptical hippo. First time that's happened.

Anyway...

I have to add that there's one thing I would not like him to mirror and that is my snootiness. Since I'm all about self-improvement and currently on that very path (I work out consistently, read my newspaper, think before I make stupid decisions lol, etc.), it's becomes difficult to shake off the, "I'm better than you" mindset, especially when quality individuals are VERY hard to come by in my neck of the woods.


And no baby-daddies.

And I wonder if any other female is turned off when a guy mostly listens to rap/hip-hop.

[Punisher1012]

fukc your requirements ladies! I'm the perfect man. too bad I wont be getting into any more relationships as long as I'm a Marine

[ahez1991]

1. Must lift weights, not neccesarily a bodybuilder, but athletic and active.
2. Must be intelligent, or atleast open to learning
3. Not an *******
other than that everything else would be nice, i tend to like a nice face, nice smile, pretty eyes are a plus, hands have to be manly, no girl hands. someone who is sure of themself and who they are but not so much so that their cocky about it. also a sense of humor is always a plus in a guy!

[sarasayshi]

**** lists on what you want. Look for deal breakers instead. If you focus on the things you know don't work for you, then that leaves your options more open. Also, you avoid the trap like the lady I lambasted. Her list is mostly trivial and ill-thought out.

I love this and totally agree! My recent ex boyfriend was seriously Mr. Perfect (so I thought) except two things really (ok 3 things if I comment on his penis size, which I won't!). He suddenly tells me one month into dating he wasn't sure if he wanted anymore kids and he doesn't open up easily or even at all at some times.

So now I am focusing on deal breakers to eliminate the wrong men for me; which are:

- he smokes
- does not want kids
- uses drugs
- drinks more than just social occasions
- doesn't have the same moral and religious beliefs
- doesn't communicate well
- has a temper
- doesn't believe in being faithful

[SpiderSense]

I think the real problem is too many women are unrealistic as far as what they want versus what they are actually worth.

[tse]

- Good manners
- Good morals (ie honesty, integrity, loyalty)
- Look after themselves (ie is healthy)
- Relatively intelligent

Those are the first points I think of, although usually relationships just kind of happen for me - I don't really actively look for them. I consider the points above to be important, but I think they're pretty reasonable things to ask for (and I would hope that I can offer those qualities myself)

[neekz0r]

My list consists of things that I apply to myself as well. I obviously wouldn't write something down that I didn't think I could offer the other person in return. Most of my list is pretty basic, with traits both partners must have for a relationship to work (except for the likes section, although it's always good to have things in common. But I guess that can be waived.

To be honest, who knows who I will end up with, maybe he will be:

unattractive to me
20 years older
5'1" or shorter
a liar
Sulks, and bottles things up
hates hugs or cuddling
"not ready for commitment"
Doesn't know what he wants
boring
serious
selfish
cheater
unfriendly
Debbie downer
super religious
Doesn't like sex
Drug addict
alcoholic
Lazy
doesn't work out
doesn't work
lives out of state/country?
slob/messy
hates traveling
has never read a book

AKA the opposite of my list.

To be honest, the above description doesn't appeal to me. The list I provided had all of the morals,beliefs, habits I abide by. If I can't find someone that will at least meet me half way, then I guess I'll be foreveralone.jpg








.

Yet, your list is largely asinine and trivial. No where in there are skills that would lead to a long term relationship. Most marriages end in divorce due to money issues. No where in your laundry list do you mention "money management skills". No where do you list other important things, such as similar communication and similar ways of showing affection. You have this laundry list of things for Mr Perfect, but fail to realize that none of those things really matter in a long term relationship. You'll never be happy because in your brain, you have this picture of who your perfect mate is. No mate can live up to your ideal one, it just won't happen. You are like the idiot "nice guy" who dreams that his perfect woman would be:

Perfect boobs
Perfect face
Perfect body
Perfect personality
Perfect friends
Perfect cooking
Virgin

Then he meets a girl and tries to impose upon her all those perfections; and then gets dismayed when she fails to live up to them. Then he blames her for it.

In short, you are living in a fantasy world where you have this concept that is unequal to reality.

Also, you still haven't said what you bring to the relationship table. Your list is meaningless. You say you like sex. Okay. Most women enjoy sex. As do most men. What sort of sex? How open are you? Do you only like missionary? Do you only like group sex? You say you like funny men. No ****. What kind of humor? Toilet humor? Sarcasm? One liners? Sardonic? You say you like cleanliness. So does that then mean you are looking for a guy who wipes the counter whenever you touch it? Someone who cleans their hands after touching you? Or doesn't touch you at all because you may have germs?

You make the assumption that you offer all these ridiculous things on your list, but you don't quantify any of them. You just assume that your version of cleanliness is the same as everyone elses. It's the height of arrogant and self-centered thinking. Your thought process is along the lines of "I have this list; a man most prove himself to have these 'qualities' before I'll consider him" rather than "This is how I am, we must be compatible in this regard"

[HayZues Christi]

women like hard dick and a man who dont give a **** about them.


i make bitches melt.

[NUHusky14]

need to be doing something with their life.
obese men are a no
smokers are a no for me
cant be dumb/ able to have a conversation with
passionate about things
likes having a lot of sex
knows how to be romantic/a gentleman

You are the chick who posted her tits on the misc once rofl

[neekz0r]

women like hard dick and a man who dont give a **** about them.


i make bitches melt.

Would that be because you are around so much hard dick?

[digitalbath11]

Just off the top of my head

Nice
Easy going
Funny
Healthy/fit/no vices/healthy sex drive (all correlated imo)
With a job since I work
Clean/good hygene

That about covers it.

I was thinking about this the other day. I stand by my "list" because I feel it covers the basics, which is exactly what OP asked for. However, I see all the comments from men who think it's all BS. I get it. Most of the answers are either too complex or too simplistic to sound legit.

What most girls arent saying is that what really makes a man stand out from all others is how HE makes US feel in the relationship. The chemistry, the compatibility, etc., is the biggest quality we're looking for. That is an intangible attribute and it doesnt really belong in a list. Its either there or not, despite the "basic requirements" listed.

But then again, thats not what was asked for. OP wanted a list. No?

[HayZues Christi]

Would that be because you are around so much hard dick?

yes.

[DoubtErased]

Im black, got a big dick, a funny personality, a great smile and great in bed.

Been more than enough for alot of women IMO

[neekz0r]

I was thinking about this the other day. I stand by my "list" because I feel it covers the basics, which is exactly what OP asked for. However, I see all the comments from men who think it's all BS. I get it. Most of the answers are either too complex or too simplistic to sound legit.

Yes.

What most girls arent saying is that what really makes a man stand out from all others is how HE makes US feel in the relationship. The chemistry, the compatibility, etc., is the biggest quality we're looking for. That is an intangible attribute and it doesnt really belong in a list. Its either there or not, despite the "basic requirements" listed.

It is quite tangible. It's called "chemistry & compatibility". And if the womens list are anything to judge by, it's largely irrelevant. More important then that is if a guy can be "silly" or not. Or if he enjoys sex. Hurrr.

But then again, thats not what was asked for. OP wanted a list. No?

Think outside the box.

[digitalbath11]

Yes.


It is quite tangible. It's called "chemistry & compatibility". And if the womens list are anything to judge by, it's largely irrelevant. More important then that is if a guy can be "silly" or not. Or if he enjoys sex. Hurrr.



Think outside the box.

If I'm guilty of answering a question exactly as it was presented to me, then by all means, I am guilty.

As far as being dishonest? I beg to differ.

I realize as I've gotten older that simplicity is they key to hapiness and the more rules, restrictions and conditions I put in anything that is truly important to me, the less chances I have to obtaining it.

Simply put, my last post was just my way of making it clear that compatibility will win out before anything else I might have mentioned. Thats it. Take it for whatever it's worth

[mydawgs]

Simply put, my last post was just my way of making it clear that compatibility will win out before anything else I might have mentioned. Thats it. Take it for whatever it's worth

And after 28 yrs of marriage to a wonderful man, in retrospect "compatibility" would be at the top of a very small list for me....cuz compatibility is what makes "it" work....you chose well IMO

[HayZues Christi]

And after 28 yrs of marriage to a wonderful man, in retrospect "compatibility" would be at the top of a very small list for me....cuz compatibility is what makes "it" work....you chose well IMO

compatibility isnt really a tangible thing. Its a combination of a lot of things.

what makes somebody compatible?

[mydawgs]

compatibility isnt really a tangible thing. Its a combination of a lot of things.

what makes somebody compatible?

In my case, intelligence, tolerance, ability to communicate, appreciation, physical attraction, common interests, common life goals, ability to sustain sacrifice to obtain those goals, sharing the load, backing the other up under all circumstances.....in essence understanding and appreciating what is standing right in front of you every day, even when you are angry or dissapointed.

My definition of compatability.....as tangible as it gets

[HayZues Christi]

In my case, intelligence, tolerance, ability to communicate, appreciation, physical attraction, common interests, common life goals, ability to sustain sacrifice to obtain those goals, sharing the load, backing the other up under all circumstances.....in essence understanding and appreciating what is standing right in front of you every day, even when you are angry or dissapointed.

My definition of compatability.....as tangible as it gets

but all that is just your list concentrated into one word. Of course compatibility is number 1.

thats like saying whats it take to make the NBA... being good at basketball.

the better question is what does it take to be good at basketball.


im just saying i dont like the word compatible as an answer in this thread. Its seems like cheating.

[mydawgs]

but all that is just your list concentrated into one word. Of course compatibility is number 1.

thats like saying whats it take to make the NBA... being good at basketball.

the better question is what does it take to be good at basketball.


im just saying i dont like the word compatible as an answer in this thread. Its seems like cheating.

Well you could be correct, but since compatability between two unique people will "package" different characteristics it is an efficient term, bottom line is the end result is a positive one.

BTW you have to be REALLY good at basketball to get to the NBA....right? Not all NBA players are REALLY GOOD in the same way however.....

[Ramy33]

On a scale of 1-10 10 being very important

Looks 7
Funny 6
Brains 8-10
Confedence 10
Money 7
Healthy habits 9
Confedent with there body 10

Biggest turn off is a guy with obvious insecurities! Ugh come on. .
You can't hide shyt.

Did you go to school? Just askin

[S1X]

I think the real problem is too many women are unrealistic as far as what they want versus what they are actually worth.

This.

[amec]

neekz0r: Yet, your list is largely asinine and trivial. No where in there are skills that would lead to a long term relationship. Most marriages end in divorce due to money issues. No where in your laundry list do you mention "money management skills".
-- I didn't think about this. You're right
No where do you list other important things, such as similar communication and similar ways of showing affection.
I guess when I said "is affectionate", I meant he likes to cuddle and hug and hold hands as much as I do?, I didn't know I had to be so specific... about the communication part of it I did say he should be able to communicate and listen, What I meant by that (since you want details) is being able to express concerns, talk about things that bother you etc. before letting it escalate to an argument, open communication, no yelling, no cursing, no disrespecting etc.

You have this laundry list of things for Mr Perfect, but fail to realize that none of those things really matter in a long term relationship.
none of those? honesty, being loyal is not important in a long term relationship?

You'll never be happy because in your brain, you have this picture of who your perfect mate is. No mate can live up to your ideal one, it just won't happen. You are like the idiot "nice guy" who dreams that his perfect woman would be:

Perfect boobs
Perfect face
Perfect body
Perfect personality
Perfect friends
Perfect cooking
Virgin

Then he meets a girl and tries to impose upon her all those perfections; and then gets dismayed when she fails to live up to them. Then he blames her for it.

In short, you are living in a fantasy world where you have this concept that is unequal to reality.
you're not the first one to tell me I live in a fantasy world.. hmm maybe you guys are onto something here... no wonder I'm foreveralone...

Also, you still haven't said what you bring to the relationship table. Your list is meaningless. You say you like sex. Okay. Most women enjoy sex. As do most men. What sort of sex? How open are you? Do you only like missionary? Do you only like group sex?

the question asked what women wanted in a guy, the original question didn't ask to describe myself.
I guess as someone already wrote above, it's all about compatibility in all aspects, including sex. I'm still very inexperienced in the matter, so I guess I still have to figure that one out. I doubt group sex would be part of my "requirements" :/ hahaha

You say you like funny men. No ****. What kind of humor? Toilet humor? Sarcasm? One liners? Sardonic?
because the question was all about "basic" requirements, I really didn't think i had to go through so much detail, funny to me is a silly random guy who can be sarcastic.

You say you like cleanliness. So does that then mean you are looking for a guy who wipes the counter whenever you touch it? Someone who cleans their hands after touching you? Or doesn't touch you at all because you may have germs?
now that's OCD at its best... I meant just being organized, cleaning on a regular basis, but nothing dramatic. The only reason why i added it in there is because there are a lot of people that let the dirtiness accumulate, throw things on the floor and don't pick it up, just very messy. Nothing as extreme as you described. Common sense cleanliness?

You make the assumption that you offer all these ridiculous things on your list, but you don't quantify any of them. You just assume that your version of cleanliness is the same as everyone else's. It's the height of arrogant and self-centered thinking. Your thought process is along the lines of "I have this list; a man most prove himself to have these 'qualities' before I'll consider him" rather than "This is how I am, we must be compatible in this regard"

I only wrote what I wrote, because the original question asked what women wanted in a guy, nowhere in the question did the OP ask "how we are". If the question had been "what are some qualities you possess that men would find attractive and whatnot, I would have answered differently.

I don't think I should be attacked because I answered a question I was asked. Getting annoyed now...

Also, I'm sure if I were to answer about the qualities I believe I possess, someone would just tell me I'm stuck up, delusional, think highly of myself, lying, etc.etc.etc. so what's the point?

[Svonne]

Don't know (srs).

[JJbra]

What criteria do they need to fill?

there's only one thing he needs to fill...

[neekz0r]

neekz0r: Yet, your list is largely asinine and trivial. No where in there are skills that would lead to a long term relationship. Most marriages end in divorce due to money issues. No where in your laundry list do you mention "money management skills".
-- I didn't think about this. You're right
No where do you list other important things, such as similar communication and similar ways of showing affection.
I guess when I said "is affectionate", I meant he likes to cuddle and hug and hold hands as much as I do?, I didn't know I had to be so specific... about the communication part of it I did say he should be able to communicate and listen, What I meant by that (since you want details) is being able to express concerns, talk about things that bother you etc. before letting it escalate to an argument, open communication, no yelling, no cursing, no disrespecting etc.

You have this laundry list of things for Mr Perfect, but fail to realize that none of those things really matter in a long term relationship.
none of those? honesty, being loyal is not important in a long term relationship?

You'll never be happy because in your brain, you have this picture of who your perfect mate is. No mate can live up to your ideal one, it just won't happen. You are like the idiot "nice guy" who dreams that his perfect woman would be:

Perfect boobs
Perfect face
Perfect body
Perfect personality
Perfect friends
Perfect cooking
Virgin

Then he meets a girl and tries to impose upon her all those perfections; and then gets dismayed when she fails to live up to them. Then he blames her for it.

In short, you are living in a fantasy world where you have this concept that is unequal to reality.
you're not the first one to tell me I live in a fantasy world.. hmm maybe you guys are onto something here... no wonder I'm foreveralone...

Also, you still haven't said what you bring to the relationship table. Your list is meaningless. You say you like sex. Okay. Most women enjoy sex. As do most men. What sort of sex? How open are you? Do you only like missionary? Do you only like group sex?

the question asked what women wanted in a guy, the original question didn't ask to describe myself.
I guess as someone already wrote above, it's all about compatibility in all aspects, including sex. I'm still very inexperienced in the matter, so I guess I still have to figure that one out. I doubt group sex would be part of my "requirements" :/ hahaha

You say you like funny men. No ****. What kind of humor? Toilet humor? Sarcasm? One liners? Sardonic?
because the question was all about "basic" requirements, I really didn't think i had to go through so much detail, funny to me is a silly random guy who can be sarcastic.

You say you like cleanliness. So does that then mean you are looking for a guy who wipes the counter whenever you touch it? Someone who cleans their hands after touching you? Or doesn't touch you at all because you may have germs?
now that's OCD at its best... I meant just being organized, cleaning on a regular basis, but nothing dramatic. The only reason why i added it in there is because there are a lot of people that let the dirtiness accumulate, throw things on the floor and don't pick it up, just very messy. Nothing as extreme as you described. Common sense cleanliness?

You make the assumption that you offer all these ridiculous things on your list, but you don't quantify any of them. You just assume that your version of cleanliness is the same as everyone else's. It's the height of arrogant and self-centered thinking. Your thought process is along the lines of "I have this list; a man most prove himself to have these 'qualities' before I'll consider him" rather than "This is how I am, we must be compatible in this regard"

I only wrote what I wrote, because the original question asked what women wanted in a guy, nowhere in the question did the OP ask "how we are". If the question had been "what are some qualities you possess that men would find attractive and whatnot, I would have answered differently.

I don't think I should be attacked because I answered a question I was asked. Getting annoyed now...

Also, I'm sure if I were to answer about the qualities I believe I possess, someone would just tell me I'm stuck up, delusional, think highly of myself, lying, etc.etc.etc. so what's the point?

You completely missed my point. And believe me, I'm not attacking you. I'm attacking your list, which are two separate and distinct entities. I picked yours because it was the longest and the most asinine.

My point is this: Everyone wants someone funny. Everyone wants someone sexy and attractive and hot. Basically, most people -- and girls in particular -- have this laundry list of requirements that aren't really that different. But none of those requirements are what leads to a healthy relationship as they are all asinine. Take loyalty. You asked me how could that not be a requirement? Simple. It's a byproduct, not a requirement. If you have a fulfilling and meaningful relationship, loyalty should be earned and natural. Why should I be loyal to you if you beat me? Why should I be loyal to you if you sleep with other men? Making it a requirement is, again, asinine. How do you even test for loyalty? Do you go around asking men "hey, are you loyal?". I'm betting you are going to get a lot of "yes!" answers. It's as asinine as stating that you don't like to be beaten in a relationship. That's kind of a no **** requirement.