Embarassing but sometimes my anus gets chapped and it hurts like fuk... i think it's just from sweating alot cause i'm a good wiper... Why the feck does that happen to me, not down with this painful swass.
03-10-2011, 10:04 PM #1
03-10-2011, 10:06 PM #2
- Join Date: Jan 2008
- Location: Pennsylvania, United States
- Age: 29
- Stats: 6'1", 190 lbs
- Posts: 2,722
- Rep Power: 709
03-10-2011, 10:06 PM #3
- Join Date: Dec 2009
- Location: United States
- Stats: 6'0", 194 lbs
- Posts: 10,463
- Rep Power: 12838
03-10-2011, 10:07 PM #4
03-10-2011, 10:07 PM #5
- Join Date: Nov 2009
- Location: Virginia, United States
- Stats: 5'2", 135 lbs
- Posts: 4,040
- Rep Power: 26032
03-10-2011, 10:07 PM #6
03-10-2011, 10:08 PM #7
03-10-2011, 10:08 PM #8
03-10-2011, 10:08 PM #9
03-10-2011, 10:08 PM #10
03-10-2011, 10:09 PM #11
- Join Date: Feb 2010
- Location: where the Grass is Green and the Girls are pretty, SoCal, Greenland
- Stats: 5'10", 175 lbs
- Posts: 23,318
- Rep Power: 0
03-10-2011, 10:09 PM #12
03-10-2011, 10:10 PM #13
- Join Date: Sep 2006
- Location: Texas, United States
- Age: 25
- Posts: 6,887
- BodyPoints: 2312
- Rep Power: 2633
-try to take your ****s before you shower, then after whiping with paper, get in the shower, clean up, then whipe your anus hole with soap, water, and a wash rag.
-when ****ting between showers, try to use baby whipes for a deeper cleaning. remember, if your not using something wet then your just smearing sh it grease around.
-if no baby whipes, try to use wet paper towels or something.
-baby powder your as s hole after drying.
-for times when you already have swamp ass and got chapped ass from it, thoroughly clean butt hole, then apply some kind of ass cream (like desitin)2wheel crew
03-10-2011, 10:11 PM #14
Don't Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.
No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic ****- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky ****/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering ****/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own **** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
BTW not me found on craigs list lol
03-10-2011, 10:11 PM #15
03-10-2011, 10:11 PM #16
- Join Date: Aug 2009
- Location: Florida, United States
- Stats: 5'6", 165 lbs
- Posts: 11,376
- Rep Power: 12494
03-10-2011, 10:13 PM #17
03-10-2011, 10:13 PM #18
03-10-2011, 10:16 PM #19
03-10-2011, 10:20 PM #20
03-10-2011, 10:23 PM #21
03-10-2011, 10:32 PM #22
- Join Date: Feb 2011
- Location: Perth, Western Australia, Australia
- Age: 28
- Stats: 5'8", 175 lbs
- Posts: 620
- Rep Power: 85
By epl2000 in forum Misc.Replies: 21Last Post: 05-12-2009, 01:51 AM
By FSUFan4 in forum Relationships and Relationship HelpReplies: 9Last Post: 02-27-2009, 10:49 AM
By Colonel_Clobber in forum Misc.Replies: 15Last Post: 02-20-2008, 07:07 PM
By T.I.T.A.N. in forum Relationships and Relationship HelpReplies: 31Last Post: 07-05-2007, 11:15 AM
By MonsterG8r in forum Religion / PoliticsReplies: 0Last Post: 02-12-2007, 07:59 PM