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  1. #1
    Registered User bmar22's Avatar
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    cant get hard with new girl...solutions?

    I recently started chilling with a new girl. we've hooked up a few times but twice we've tried to have sex and I cant get it up. She is a little more passive in bed than my ex (which ended a few months back). Im def attracted to this new girl I wanna bang her pretty bad lol I just cant get it up.

    heres the kicker. i thought it was me but then recently i had sex with my ex and was rock hard for hours.

    any suggestions on how to fix this problem with this new girl (or any new girl)?

    thx
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  2. #2
    Registered User luckynumber13as's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bmar22 View Post
    I recently started chilling with a new girl. we've hooked up a few times but twice we've tried to have sex and I cant get it up. She is a little more passive in bed than my ex (which ended a few months back). Im def attracted to this new girl I wanna bang her pretty bad lol I just cant get it up.

    heres the kicker. i thought it was me but then recently i had sex with my ex and was rock hard for hours.

    any suggestions on how to fix this problem with this new girl (or any new girl)?

    thx
    Maybe politely tell her to be less passive and more agressive, because that excites you more....
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  3. #3
    Jersey Troll Punisher1012's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by luckynumber13as View Post
    Maybe politely tell her to be less passive and more agressive, because that excites you more....
    this...kinda don't do it so politely lol and quit fuuking getting nervous around her. you stop giving a fukc and you'll be able to bang her..unless she's already getting plowed by someone else
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  4. #4
    cocaine white range rove. darkshines's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Punisher1012 View Post
    this...kinda don't do it so politely lol and quit fuuking getting nervous around her. you stop giving a fukc and you'll be able to bang her..unless she's already getting plowed by someone else
    exactly this, including the "not so politely" bit.

    OP, it's performance anxiety bra - just a nut, relax dude. if you're still having trouble, pop a dick pill. once you realize it's all in your head you'll be golden.
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  5. #5
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  6. #6
    Rustling your jimmies ll ReNeGaDe ll's Avatar
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    If you're attracted to her, you may have performance anxiety breh.
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  7. #7
    Registered User luckynumber13as's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ll ReNeGaDe ll View Post
    If you're attracted to her, you may have performance anxiety breh.
    Sounds like it.
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  8. #8
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    Close your eyes and think of your ex!
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  9. #9
    Registered User bmar22's Avatar
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    thx for the input everyone. im guessing its performance anxiety, although I've never had this problem in the past. Ive talked to a few buddies and it seems like it happens from time to time.

    is the main solution to just relax? cause Im pretty melo about it im not nervous its weird.

    thx again for any and all help.
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  10. #10
    Rustling your jimmies ll ReNeGaDe ll's Avatar
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    Well with your ex girlfriend, you are comfortable with her, you know (i hope?) you can satisfy her, you know exactly what she likes, etc etc. This girl is not the same situation.

    The problem is once performance anxiety happens, the man starts psyching himself out and thinking about it every time before he has sex "I hope I get hard this time, I hope I get hard this time please stay hard cmon man do it for me buddy" which obviously makes things worse.

    You should try just accepting that this has happened to you, and understand its not permanent. Forgive yourself. And accept that this problem will disappear with time.
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  11. #11
    Registered User Libre's Avatar
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    Man, i feel for you. I totaly have this exact problem right now. Just started sleeping with a really hot new girl at work. The last three times she's stayed over i haven't been able to get it up. She's very hot but she's completely passive, i know the main reason i can't get it up is because she's just lying there (with a tiny bit of new girl performance anxiety thrown in).

    I never this problem with my girlfriend, but like your ex she's much more aggressive. I think the best way is going to have be finding a nice way to say "more effort required!". Can you guys think of a way? She's going to be staying over tonight and if happens again and i can't think of nice way to put it i'm probably going end up shouting:

    "just touch my ****ing dick, argh!!!"
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  12. #12
    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
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    Drinking and sex don't mix that well, but how about a glass of wine first to relax?
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  13. #13
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    Your body is going to act the same cause you are concern about it; You need to cheat your brain and change your environment and the things you are been doing. Think about what is you process to take her to bed, so you need to chage it so your mind do not realice that is time to get laid.
    For instance I suggest you to plan a joyfull and entertaining weekend or a short road trip, make your mind that there is no need to get laid. Get out and make activities that you like or you desire; Have an entire different weekend and enjoy it. Holefully the 1st day both get tired enough to just sleep together and know each other a little more. Sex is not all for girls and maybe this trip worth more than a pro laid. If thereīs any chance your mind and body tells you to take her, do it, but remember that this is not the objective.

    I believe that bio-chemistry may do the trick, so maybe there is something that is already missing with her that your body do not get the trigger.
    As everyone mentioned, your mind is tricking you, its response for sex this days is anxiety, so now is time to trick your mind by telling it that itīs only playing without sex.

    You can cheat it by:
    -Trying sexy activities that may turn on your, like a couple massage
    -A friendly phisical fight with her (like with pillows)
    -Play pretending you are flirting at her in a new restaurant
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  14. #14
    Registered User NBSprinter's Avatar
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    you're probably not used to being around her as much
    i love it
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  15. #15
    Banned Darkace's Avatar
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    its just perfromance anxiety bro

    either have a few drinks or.. buy some generic cialis
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  16. #16
    Registered User trwilli24's Avatar
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    bang a girl that you're attracted to
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  17. #17
    Registered User trwilli24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    Drinking and sex don't mix that well, but how about a glass of wine first to relax?
    Speak for yourself.. I can smash for hours when I've had a few too many Mr. Beer's
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  18. #18
    Tfw gf but no want LaudyBrah's Avatar
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    Performance anxiety/not being comfortable with her... The reason you can get hard with your ex is because you're comfortable
    let them say i lived in the time of zyzz.
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