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  1. #1
    Banned MrMeatwhistle's Avatar
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    Got kicked out of planet fitness today... They didn't refund me money either.

    Hey guys I got lucky to go to a planet fitness that actually had a barbell ( they are supposed to be on the bench but I take them off and deadlift with them. Luckily for me, the rules of no deadlifting doesn't apply since nobody in their knows what a deadlift is. )

    Well anyway, I usually fap in the bathroom when I go because they don't allow chalk and I don't want to fail because of bad grip, and I don't have straps. So I cum all over my hands and then smear the cum onto the knurling and then grip the bar. ( I've been doing this for like a month, you should see how the bar looks lol. )


    So I was warming up and had 2 plates on, warming up and it was easy as ****.

    A crowd appears full of everybody there, and everybody starts calling me saxon, and a monster. This was the most amount of weight any of them have ever seen moved ( well aside from when they walk in front of the mirror lol )

    Well anyway I have the crowd and I got 3 plates on the bar now, i'm deadlifting and these people are amazed. After I get 5 reps, I say to myself. It's PR time caputano, lets roll.

    So I load a 5 to each side now, to make 325 lbs. The crowd roars with fright, everyone was scared... I heard a few shouts of you will break your back, and we need our hero to be safe.

    I go to budge it, and I couldn't hold it much. I realize that the cum grip isn't helping and I need to get something to stick to my hands.

    So I yell your hero will be back, go to the bathroom... and spank the monkey, now I come back to the bar and stick my hands on the bar and smear some of it in. I go and get 3 reps, and have everyone cheering my name and my name goes onto the board that says best weightlifter ( I beat out the guy who did 80 lbs dumbbell bench press, never been so proud. )

    But when I raise my hands up to celebrate and wave to them, they saw all of the cum on my palms from the load I just shot.


    And they sounded the lunk alarm.

  2. #2
    ΦΔΘ NE Alpha UNC_Bball's Avatar
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    no cliffs, no read
    The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go, but two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.
    -Henry Rollins

  3. #3
    Deal with it. tacubaya's Avatar
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    F=MA

  4. #4
    Bad Bitches Only Gorty's Avatar
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    red no cliffs lol

  5. #5
    Banned MrMeatwhistle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UNC_Bball View Post
    no cliffs, no read
    Cliffs-

    Went to planet fitness.

    Deadlifted the most amount of weight in that gym ever, and had everyone mirin.

    I can't use chalk there and I needed something for grip, so I fap and use the cum and smear it on the bar.

    Everyone watching me deadlift 325 lbs for a set of 5.

    I wave to them and they see the cum on my palms.

    I get kicked out.

  6. #6
    Aesthetics Phag rckrdude's Avatar
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    lmao you may be red but that was a funny ass post.
    ★ 92B ★

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  7. #7
    Brostradamus HollywoodBody's Avatar
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    lol all I read from OP was "deadlift" and "lunk alarm"

    no idea what the ****ing 2nd thing is, but you can't deadlift in planet fitness, everyone knows that. You can only work out your glutes and abs, cause it's a ****ing gym for chicks. Not even strong chicks. Strong chicks would go to a real gym.

    Go join a real gym, deadlift squat and grunt away! hoorah

  8. #8
    Tears of Hercules Calborn's Avatar
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    i lul'd
    Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of Your name.

    Jesus Christ saved my life. And that's nothing to be ashamed of, but it's everything to be proud and thankful of.

  9. #9
    Banned MrMeatwhistle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HollywoodBody View Post
    lol all I read from OP was "deadlift" and "lunk alarm"

    no idea what the ****ing 2nd thing is, but you can't deadlift in planet fitness, everyone knows that. You can only work out your glutes and abs, cause it's a ****ing gym for chicks. Not even strong chicks. Strong chicks would go to a real gym.

    Go join a real gym, deadlift squat and grunt away! hoorah
    What second thing, I was fapping...

  10. #10
    Banned MrMeatwhistle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Calborn View Post
    i lul'd

    What is the misc coming to where manlets don't rep fellow manlets who are in red and made them laugh?


    This ain't the misc I remember...

  11. #11
    Banned WhiskeyBent3's Avatar
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    hahahahaa

  12. #12
    Georgia Brah LivinGood's Avatar
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    Just watch it.

  13. #13
    Brostradamus HollywoodBody's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrMeatwhistle View Post
    What second thing, I was fapping...
    lunk alarm. I googled it though lolz

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