Hey guys I got lucky to go to a planet fitness that actually had a barbell ( they are supposed to be on the bench but I take them off and deadlift with them. Luckily for me, the rules of no deadlifting doesn't apply since nobody in their knows what a deadlift is. )
Well anyway, I usually fap in the bathroom when I go because they don't allow chalk and I don't want to fail because of bad grip, and I don't have straps. So I cum all over my hands and then smear the cum onto the knurling and then grip the bar. ( I've been doing this for like a month, you should see how the bar looks lol. )
So I was warming up and had 2 plates on, warming up and it was easy as ****.
A crowd appears full of everybody there, and everybody starts calling me saxon, and a monster. This was the most amount of weight any of them have ever seen moved ( well aside from when they walk in front of the mirror lol )
Well anyway I have the crowd and I got 3 plates on the bar now, i'm deadlifting and these people are amazed. After I get 5 reps, I say to myself. It's PR time caputano, lets roll.
So I load a 5 to each side now, to make 325 lbs. The crowd roars with fright, everyone was scared... I heard a few shouts of you will break your back, and we need our hero to be safe.
I go to budge it, and I couldn't hold it much. I realize that the cum grip isn't helping and I need to get something to stick to my hands.
So I yell your hero will be back, go to the bathroom... and spank the monkey, now I come back to the bar and stick my hands on the bar and smear some of it in. I go and get 3 reps, and have everyone cheering my name and my name goes onto the board that says best weightlifter ( I beat out the guy who did 80 lbs dumbbell bench press, never been so proud. )
But when I raise my hands up to celebrate and wave to them, they saw all of the cum on my palms from the load I just shot.
And they sounded the lunk alarm.
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