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  1. #1
    Registered User 82ndSergeant's Avatar
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    If you grew up in poverty, what would you choose?

    1) You get to leave your hometown, people you grew up around, potential lifelong friends, and all the places that you're familiar with in order to attend college, potentially get out of poverty and have a life of middle-class "creature comforts" or more. The DOWNSIDE of this is that your family, who never tried to make a better life for themselves, resent you and try to make you miserable all the years of your life, creating tension, aggravation, and emotional poison, eventually leading to a complete falling-out and estrangement.

    2) You accept your conditions, that things in life are far beyond your control and that luck is the biggest player in all that we become. You grow indifferent toward your circumstances, never really caring much about anything outside of television shows, burger joints, the movie theater, and the mundane existence of all things that rot in the limits of your town in 'wherever' USA.
    You could care less about pursuing an education, a better future, a quality woman with values, or going after things that you only read about as a kid. The Positives here are that you get to stay around your broke family, who are even more ambivalent to life than you are, you keep lifelong friends and have some semblance of a relationship with them as the years go bye.

    Cliffs:
    -You grew up poor, to a convict father and a drugged-out mother
    -You have the choice to leave and make a better life, pursuing more than you ever thought possible.
    -OR, you have the choice to stay, accept your life but keep your family and friends.
    -What do you sacrifice?
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  2. #2
    jus w8'n 4 a m8 burlyman619's Avatar
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    You have to break the cycle. I would go with number 1
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  3. #3
    Registered User 82ndSergeant's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by burlyman619 View Post
    You have to break the cycle. I would go with number 1
    Even if your own family resents you for it?
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  4. #4
    Creampie Connoisseur basshead444's Avatar
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    If they resent me for it then theyre no longer my family. **** them.
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  5. #5
    Banned exupery's Avatar
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    1, is that even a question?
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  6. #6
    Registered User 82ndSergeant's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by exupery View Post
    1, is that even a question?
    It is a HUGE question. I wanna know what people think.
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  7. #7
    The Weak One Montre's Avatar
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    Who you are and what your family is doesn't have to be teh same thing.

    If you can't keep your family and be successful you're doing it wrong.
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  8. #8
    Broseidon of the Brocean YoBroseidon's Avatar
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    1.

    You break the cycle, my kids will thank me for it.
    And lets get real here, your parents aren't going to resent you for it, so the negatives of 1 are irrelevant.
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  9. #9
    Registered User 82ndSergeant's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by basshead444 View Post
    If they resent me for it then theyre no longer my family. **** them.
    Interesting
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  10. #10
    jus w8'n 4 a m8 burlyman619's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 82ndSergeant View Post
    Even if your own family resents you for it?
    The DOWNSIDE of this is that your family, who never tried to make a better life for themselves, resent you and try to make you miserable all the years of your life, creating tension, aggravation, and emotional poison, eventually leading to a complete falling-out and estrangement.


    thats all i needed to read. fuk them
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  11. #11
    F*#$@*# On Fire! Deadly Dingo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by burlyman619 View Post
    You have to break the cycle. I would go with number 1
    what burly said.

    if friends and family cant even help themselves, then gtfo of that no win situation.

    if they cant accept that you wanted a better life for your future kids then screw em.
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  12. #12
    Registered User 82ndSergeant's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by YoBroseidon View Post
    1.

    You break the cycle, my kids will thank me for it.
    And lets get real here, your parents aren't going to resent you for it, so the negatives of 1 are irrelevant.
    Ah, but there are people who resent those who do well for themselves. And sometimes, it's the ones closest.
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  13. #13
    Registered User Pump that iron!'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 82ndSergeant View Post
    1) You get to leave your hometown, people you grew up around, potential lifelong friends, and all the places that you're familiar with in order to attend college, potentially get out of poverty and have a life of middle-class "creature comforts" or more. The DOWNSIDE of this is that your family, who never tried to make a better life for themselves, resent you and try to make you miserable all the years of your life, creating tension, aggravation, and emotional poison, eventually leading to a complete falling-out and estrangement.

    2) You accept your conditions, that things in life are far beyond your control and that luck is the biggest player in all that we become. You grow indifferent toward your circumstances, never really caring much about anything outside of television shows, burger joints, the movie theater, and the mundane existence of all things that rot in the limits of your town in 'wherever' USA.
    You could care less about pursuing an education, a better future, a quality woman with values, or going after things that you only read about as a kid. The Positives here are that you get to stay around your broke family, who are even more ambivalent to life than you are, you keep lifelong friends and have some semblance of a relationship with them as the years go bye.

    Cliffs:
    -You grew up poor, to a convict father and a drugged-out mother
    -You have the choice to leave and make a better life, pursuing more than you ever thought possible.
    -OR, you have the choice to stay, accept your life but keep your family and friends.
    -What do you sacrifice?
    I'd leave in a heartbeat. I actually did grow up poor and as I've gotten older I have realized that a lot of my family (immediate and extended) are poison, more or less. If you want to succeed in life you have to get rid of the deadweight and the poison in your life otherwise you will continue to be weighed down and suffer from toxic relationships.
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  14. #14
    Registered User 82ndSergeant's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pump that iron! View Post
    I'd leave in a heartbeat. I actually did grow up poor and as I've gotten older I have realized that a lot of my family (immediate and extended) are poison, more or less. If you want to succeed in life you have to get rid of the deadweight and the poison in your life otherwise you will continue to be weighed down and suffer from toxic relationships.
    ABSOLUTELY. Repped.
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  15. #15
    Registered User TheAverageGuy's Avatar
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    Go with 1. Don't let them drag you down with them.
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  16. #16
    Do you even squat? corozco's Avatar
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    1, no doubt about it bro. Things in life aren't really "out of your control." If you have the chance to do better go for it. Why settle for crap when you can work your ass off and be the successful one out of your family? Why let your parents bring you down and ALLOW them to ruin your life?

    Man up and do something for yourself. Friends come and go but your true friends will always be there one way or another. Why try and be close to your family if they provide negativity to your life?

    Go with option one, you will not regret it.
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  17. #17
    Registered User kratosbrah's Avatar
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    #1...

    I'll go off and start my own family away from dysfunction.
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  18. #18
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    Originally Posted by 82ndSergeant View Post
    Even if your own family resents you for it?
    fuk everything, acquire currency. You live for yourself, not for others.
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  19. #19
    The Weak One Montre's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pump that iron! View Post
    I'd leave in a heartbeat. I actually did grow up poor and as I've gotten older I have realized that a lot of my family (immediate and extended) are poison, more or less. If you want to succeed in life you have to get rid of the deadweight and the poison in your life otherwise you will continue to be weighed down and suffer from toxic relationships.
    I grew up in a middle class family that got hit hard in a povershed situation when a family business crumbled. Family went into massive debt. Sold our house, sold our cars. Ate pasta 6 days a week. Some birthdays and christmas' were very light. We're alright now, but I'll never forget how hard my parents worked for our family. I had this conversation with another friend and me and her were joking about how we'd go to a friends and he'd have fruit rollups and we'd feel bad asking for one because never got that **** at home.

    That said, my parents want nothing but hte best for me. They want me to do well in school and life. I honeslty don't understand what kind of person would draw a divisional line with those questions. It makes no sense to me.

    If you're asking us, because this a question you're asking yourself. A) I have a hard time believing your family would alienate you for wanting to be more successful, and B) If they actually are, they aren't your family and they're dirt off your shoulder.

    I hate people who wish the worst on others out of jealousy / regret. It's disgusting and anyone who does this needs to seriously start worrying mroe about their lives than everyone else around them. Something I've learned recently. The people you want in your life aren't the jealous pricks.

    Friend of mine invited everyone to his place yesterday for new years. He cooked up a massive feast and picked up a bunch of champagne and ****. He invited everyone over without expectation of people pitching money or anything. He's just a genuinely great guy who only wants the best for the people in his life. Those are the kind of people you need, inspiring.
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  20. #20
    Broseidon of the Brocean YoBroseidon's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 82ndSergeant View Post
    Ah, but there are people who resent those who do well for themselves. And sometimes, it's the ones closest.
    OP, explain to me why a drugged out mother (probly won't give a ****, she's high all day) and a convict father (won't even know unless you tell him, he's in jail) would resent you for living on your own.


    I'm not coming from an anywhere close scenario, other than living in the lower middle class, and not having a father around (mother was never married).

    But I can assure you, a father who doesn't know who the phuck I am, doesn't care about where I am going in my life.

    A mother who isn't even on this planet, won't do anything other than yell at me. Chances are YOU will resent your family before they even get close to it.
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  21. #21
    Registered User Pump that iron!'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Montre View Post
    Who you are and what your family is doesn't have to be teh same thing.

    If you can't keep your family and be successful you're doing it wrong.
    A lot of people grow up in toxic environments even if the parents aren't drug addicts. That's why a lot of people want a second chance at a stable and happy family life by creating their own. Says nothing about a person's competence - some things are wholly out of one's control.
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    Originally Posted by YoBroseidon View Post
    OP, explain to me why a drugged out mother (probly won't give a ****, she's high all day) and a convict father (won't even know unless you tell him, he's in jail) would resent you for living on your own.


    I'm not coming from an anywhere close scenario, other than living in the lower middle class, and not having a father around (mother was never married).

    But I can assure you, a father who doesn't know who the phuck I am, doesn't care about where I am going in my life.

    A mother who isn't even on this planet, won't do anything other than yell at me. Chances are YOU will resent your family before they even get close to it.
    I hear you. The mother is a toxic human-being, who makes you feel like YOU'RE the phukked up one, because you didn't stay around to help her. YEARS of this same treatment, funneled through a sibling who grows to hate you also because he never did sh** with his life either, poisoning your mind, making you waste energy on anger toward them.
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    If you're asking us, because this a question you're asking yourself. A) I have a hard time believing your family would alienate you for wanting to be more successful, and B) If they actually are, they aren't your family and they're dirt off your shoulder.

    I hate people who wish the worst on others out of jealousy / regret. It's disgusting and anyone who does this needs to seriously start worrying mroe about their lives than everyone else around them.

    B) is the truth.
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    Originally Posted by Pump that iron! View Post
    A lot of people grow up in toxic environments even if the parents aren't drug addicts. That's why a lot of people want a second chance at a stable and happy family life by creating their own. Says nothing about a person's competence - some things are wholly out of one's control.
    I agree alot of what shapes someone is time and circumstance. But I find it hard to believe that this is even really a question. The only place you want to go is up, and if your family or friends want to stab you in the back while you climb the ladder, its time to turn around and stab them in the face.


    Originally Posted by 82ndSergeant View Post
    If you're asking us, because this a question you're asking yourself. A) I have a hard time believing your family would alienate you for wanting to be more successful, and B) If they actually are, they aren't your family and they're dirt off your shoulder.

    I hate people who wish the worst on others out of jealousy / regret. It's disgusting and anyone who does this needs to seriously start worrying mroe about their lives than everyone else around them.

    B) is the truth.
    If thats your situation, and I don't know what yours is really, then I'd say for your OWN safety and ability to proceed in life you'll need to set some boundaries with your family. Hopefully you won't have to alienate them, or be alienated completely, but I really hope you can find a way to salvage what may be there and have them understand why you're doing what you're doing. I've never had to live in an abusive household where my parents gave me guilt trips with drug addictions so I can't say too much. Just know that what your parents do is their decision. I think its incredibly tragic that anyone has to make a decision like this because of their family members senseless selfishness. But sometimes these situations exist. No matter what happens though, you can't blame yourself for what they do. It's incredibly selfish for anyone to hold someone else back in life, infact, when you consider life is the ultimate gift, it's beyond selfish to hold someone back.

    Srsly OP, I hope everything works out for you man, I can't imagine that.
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    Originally Posted by 82ndSergeant View Post
    I hear you. The mother is a toxic human-being, who makes you feel like YOU'RE the phukked up one, because you didn't stay around to help her. YEARS of this same treatment, funneled through a sibling who grows to hate you also because he never did sh** with his life either, poisoning your mind, making you waste energy on anger toward them.
    You said it yourself man, "poisoning your mind."
    They have poisoned your mind in the fact that you think you MUST stay around so they don't resent you, they poison your mind in the fact that you feel you must stay where you're at instead of achieving better.

    Choose the path that will allow you to be a greater person, that path that later on in life will allow you to have a family and be a successful man. Don't fall into the cycle, break away form it and do something good for yourself.
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    Originally Posted by Montre View Post
    I grew up in a middle class family that got hit hard in a povershed situation when a family business crumbled. Family went into massive debt. Sold our house, sold our cars. Ate pasta 6 days a week. Some birthdays and christmas' were very light. We're alright now, but I'll never forget how hard my parents worked for our family. I had this conversation with another friend and me and her were joking about how we'd go to a friends and he'd have fruit rollups and we'd feel bad asking for one because never got that **** at home.

    That said, my parents want nothing but hte best for me. They want me to do well in school and life. I honeslty don't understand what kind of person would draw a divisional line with those questions. It makes no sense to me.

    If you're asking us, because this a question you're asking yourself. A) I have a hard time believing your family would alienate you for wanting to be more successful, and B) If they actually are, they aren't your family and they're dirt off your shoulder.

    I hate people who wish the worst on others out of jealousy / regret. It's disgusting and anyone who does this needs to seriously start worrying mroe about their lives than everyone else around them. Something I've learned recently. The people you want in your life aren't the jealous pricks.

    Friend of mine invited everyone to his place yesterday for new years. He cooked up a massive feast and picked up a bunch of champagne and ****. He invited everyone over without expectation of people pitching money or anything. He's just a genuinely great guy who only wants the best for the people in his life. Those are the kind of people you need, inspiring.
    So I take it you're disagreeing with me but not in a substantive way? I'm confused lol.
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    Originally Posted by corozco View Post
    You said it yourself man, "poisoning your mind."
    They have poisoned your mind in the fact that you think you MUST stay around so they don't resent you, they poison your mind in the fact that you feel you must stay where you're at instead of achieving better.

    Choose the path that will allow you to be a greater person, that path that later on in life will allow you to have a family and be a successful man. Don't fall into the cycle, break away form it and do something good for yourself.
    Great advice, man. Very thoughtful and much appreciated.
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    wtf is this...

    i did grow up in poverty. political refugees ftw. sleeping in makeshift shelters for years in a new place every night in third world countries while u were transported from embassy to embassy. thats what life was for 10 years. props to my parents. ultimate respect for my pops. thats the **** that builds u. and i see the misc talkin about alpha. fukin tools.

    interesting thread tho.

    carry on.
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    Originally Posted by 82ndSergeant View Post
    I hear you. The mother is a toxic human-being, who makes you feel like YOU'RE the phukked up one, because you didn't stay around to help her. YEARS of this same treatment, funneled through a sibling who grows to hate you also because he never did sh** with his life either, poisoning your mind, making you waste energy on anger toward them.

    Ahh, now you are adding more and more to the scenario. I don't have siblings, that isn't a problem for me. A mother who is a druggie, would not make me feel like the phucked up one, it would make me feel like I'm the only one in this world who is not phucked up. Giving me any and all motivation to get out of the area I am in, and to find out whether everyone else is this bad.
    I don't care if she gets mad that I'm not there to help her. I am not going to sacrifice myself for someone who doesn't want to help themselves.


    I'm going through 1 as we speak, I moved to New Jersey (from Texas), gave up all my friends, and everything I knew, because this was the best school that I could afford (with athletic and academic scholarships). I gave up everything because I have the opportunity to intern in NYC, something that I believe will be able to change my life drastically.

    I gave up a girl who I was certain I wanted to marry, for this opportunity. (inb4 19, inb4 high school love - still doesn't change how I felt, or what it took for me to leave)
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