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  1. #1
    Registered User notsureifsrsss's Avatar
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    How to ejaculate a truly massive load

    It seems that you need some assistance! I consider it my duty to help you on the road to grand ejaculation.

    1. DRINK WATER. Two tall glasses of clear, cold tap water. At least TWO hours before any action.

    2. This is a differential one. (A) If you are fapping, fap for an hour, rest a minute and drink another glass of water. Then fap for another hour. (B) Although unlikely, you might find yourself in a sexual situation with another human being. The key here is FOREPLAY. Get her excited, and let yourself get excited, but take it slowly and smoothly for maximum pressure when the time comes.

    3. Dietary stuff. Celery is VERY good, but that much celery all at once can mess up your stomach. Drink a glass of milk before binging, but start slowly with your new diet. Easy does it. Pineapple is also pretty neat. The key to volume is not only fluids, but also minerals. Zinc is the solution! Zinc is pretty prominent in things mentioned above (probably. I am not a dietist, I am a pedoatrician.) and guess what is chock-full of Zinc? Spinach. If you feel that this is not enough, take about 40 mg zinc a day, in pill form. Upper limit is 50, but consider the fact that you're shoving yourself full of celery and spinach as well.

    4. Physical exercise. Although you might hate it, being fit is good for the WHOLE body. Start doing Kegels. Consult the wikipedia entry for more information.

    Remember to do all this in MODERATION.
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  2. #2
    Registered User HippoMan's Avatar
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    makes you so lightheaded
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  3. #3
    INTJ wulpurgis's Avatar
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    5 star thread.
    *Can never be a mod because of all of his bans crew*

    Terrible threads I've made

    forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159356851
    forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159603001
    forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159613891
    forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159819681
    forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159947081
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  4. #4
    Real life, wait wut? Sendug's Avatar
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    Your boyfriend must love you, phaggot.
    http://www.half-the-man.com - My new blog dedicated to my experiences with weight loss. Helpful hints, tips and articles that may facilitate your fat loss.

    30 Stone(420 pounds) -> 14.5 stone(203 pounds) in 3 years. Come at me bro!

    ☆☆☆υк ˘яєω☆☆☆
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  5. #5
    Evolutionary cul-de-sac MrFrumble's Avatar
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    Fluids
    Clomid
    L-Arginine
    Celery
    Zinc
    Abstinence

    And perhaps some Pineapple juice, for her benefit.
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  6. #6
    Red Wings and Lions cuzz GloriousWinged's Avatar
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    Thanks bro Ill try this on your mom
    I neg back
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  7. #7
    Half man, Half troll. GITZI's Avatar
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    Sorry, celary doesnt fit into my daily macros.
    Half man, half troll...

    Living the misc dream since 09!

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  8. #8
    IRL George Costanza feardafronfz3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GloriousWinged View Post
    Thanks bro Ill try this on your mom
    Stats: 5'2", 90 lbs

    <---------------------------------------

    female misc is that way, scrawny phaggot
    Lionized
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  9. #9
    Red Wings and Lions cuzz GloriousWinged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by feardafronfz3 View Post
    <---------------------------------------

    female misc is that way, scrawny phaggot
    <------------------- and gayphags.com is that way, they're calling for you
    I neg back
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  10. #10
    Registered User notsureifsrsss's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrFrumble View Post
    Fluids
    Clomid
    L-Arginine
    Celery
    Zinc
    Abstinence

    And perhaps some Pineapple juice, for her benefit.
    I never tried Clomid....Isn't nolvedex "better" so to speak? Or are they the same? What about HCG?
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  11. #11
    ♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛♛ ♛♛♛♛♛ MrSKIN's Avatar
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    wtf, dont get why you would want a bigger load
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  12. #12
    SydMisc, come at us brah madnegrobro's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GITZI View Post
    Sorry, celary doesnt fit into my daily macros.
    i c wut u did thar
    I rep back (1k+)

    R.I.P Zyzz

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    Current Lifts /2012 Goals
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  13. #13
    pɹɐzıʍ ɔsıɯ EctoCanuck's Avatar
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    ONE HOUR!!!!!!!!

    Anymore than 2 1/2 minutes and you start to burn valuable beer calories!!!!!!!!
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  14. #14
    Goldmember worker1's Avatar
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    I've developed the F.L.A.C.I.D. system to make you cum like whoa

    Fluids
    L-Arginine
    Abstinence
    Celery
    Isometric exercise (Kegels- do them)
    Delay (get excited, then relax for a while, then get excited again)
    ...._______........___________.
    ../..___..../\...../..___...____../\
    ./../\__/.././..../../.\_/./\__/.././
    /../_/_/.././..../.././../_/././_/./
    \______.\/.....\_\/....\_\/..\_\/
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  15. #15
    Tanned brbbaseballin's Avatar
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    just drink some water and eat celary brahs
    hai ;)
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  16. #16
    Banned ace_gauntlit's Avatar
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    take yohimbe and you will cum a bottle of eggnog
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  17. #17
    pɹɐzıʍ ɔsıɯ EctoCanuck's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ace_gauntlit View Post
    take yohimbe and you will cum a bottle of eggnog
    Your right ace....that **** works.....made me cum in my pants......but it made me shake like a fat chick in front of a weight scale.
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  18. #18
    Registered User hennyE's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GloriousWinged View Post
    <------------------- and gayphags.com is that way, they're calling for you
    So gayphags.com is in the direction of you [your pic]
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  19. #19
    Eleven Bravo SneadAGs's Avatar
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    So basically, you're saying if I get on the Popeye diet I'll shoot massive loads.


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  20. #20
    Registered User Ruffian's Avatar
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    BRB buying all of the above at a grocery store and the cashier being aware what its for.
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  21. #21
    Goldmember worker1's Avatar
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    aware.
    ...._______........___________.
    ../..___..../\...../..___...____../\
    ./../\__/.././..../../.\_/./\__/.././
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  22. #22
    U 𝗠𝗔𝗗? bigbadboi69's Avatar
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  23. #23
    Team Gayville ZuluWarrior's Avatar
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    Architect
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  24. #24
    Registered User gtg's Avatar
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    isn't kegel for size
    .:Foot Fetish Club:.
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  25. #25
    making Bert decals SYKO227's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by notsureifsrsss View Post
    (A) If you are fapping, fap for an hour, rest a minute and drink another glass of water. Then fap for another hour. (B)
    notsureifsrsss
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  26. #26
    i'll make it fit PongLenis's Avatar
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    i find the water thing to be generally true, but gives me really diluted loads ?

    how can i drop a load like peter north ? that thick, gooey, gluey substance.
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  27. #27
    Eye-Stetik Pajama Own3r's Avatar
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    Lol at the guy who said clomid, last thing you will want to do on clomid is blow a massive load, what will happen though is you will exchange sex for cuddling on the coach while watching something romantic and ghey...
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    I shall Bring Ze Lulz Ja? MSG me on FB if ya got an idea for a funny topic for future episodes :)

    EPISODE 4 ----- AUGUST 2014----- THE OWN3R is back JAAAA?
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  28. #28
    Make peace, don't hate itsMoeyy's Avatar
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  29. #29
    Registered User spursbrah's Avatar
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    Cool bro! Now I can look at my load when I am done and be like, shiit son, I'm fukking glad I've been fapping for 2 hours straight, drank water and ate celery, it was all worth it.
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