Depression Support Thread

[OxbowSky]

This may sound like nothing compared to an eating disorder to some people but there are a lot of people that really get held back from this. I know that probably the biggest thing that holds me back is depression. Whether you've been diagnosed with it or you just know you have it here's the place for us to come together.
Depression can be anywhere from self esteem issues, to the extremes of suicidal thoughts. There are many different types of depression and due to it's ability to fill the brain with complete negative thoughts and feelings it can definitely take away motivation to workout really quick. Long terms of depression can really hold people back and here we can come together to motivate each other where we have similar issues. Don't be afraid to post, and we can learn more about each other in this thread. I thought this might be a nice addition as I know sometimes I search the internet hoping for reasons to take my depression away for a night!

[ScrawnyBro]

This may sound like nothing compared to an eating disorder to some people but there are a lot of people that really get held back from this. I know that probably the biggest thing that holds me back is depression. Whether you've been diagnosed with it or you just know you have it here's the place for us to come together.
Depression can be anywhere from self esteem issues, to the extremes of suicidal thoughts. There are many different types of depression and due to it's ability to fill the brain with complete negative thoughts and feelings it can definitely take away motivation to workout really quick. Long terms of depression can really hold people back and here we can come together to motivate each other where we have similar issues. Don't be afraid to post, and we can learn more about each other in this thread. I thought this might be a nice addition as I know sometimes I search the internet hoping for reasons to take my depression away for a night!

I have recently had a massive bout of depression, and it held me back from everything. Life was just on hold. Until one day one of my friends convinced me to work out. I have only just managed to pull myself out of the slump thanks to his (and others) help, but yeah, this is some pretty heavy **** to deal with.

Exercising is a great way, I have found, to make yourself feel better. And as for those negative thoughts, if I cant push them aside, I use them to my benefit.

"Oh I can't do that"

*does it*

</f**kyea>

[ReedT]

I used to be depression couple years back that stemmed from a terrible self image and self esteem to the point of self loathing (yah I know, thats a whole lotta not liking myself) from high school all the way to my 3rd year of college. Sad thing is that I kept it bottled up for 7 years because I was afraid of asking for help from others in fear of rejection from family and friends. It came to the point where I was suicidal (knife in hand and at the wrists suicidal) before I finally broke down to a friend. He was rather shocked because I was put on a "flawless" mask of being happy to everyone (actually, everyone was shocked when I later told them), but he helped me get alot of help. It's been 5 years since that night, 2 years of being able to accept myself fully.

I had always compared myself to everyone and found myself lacking in everything. I was never good as him/her/them. I didn't feel like I was accepted anywhere in school. I was sort of a shadow that moved from place to place without much recognition and not every thinking I fit into the puzzle work. It took some work, but it all came around in the end. I took up exercising and what not for myself and its been awesome ever since. Granted, I still have a few flashes of old fears, but they don't control me anymore.

Don't feel like there is no one out there that won't understand. Given the millions of us on BB.com and the billions in the world, chances are you WILL find someone that can help or at least, relate too. The strength that you want to keep going on doesn't come from anyone else except that hope that around the next corner, over the next hill, through the next door, there is someone with a hand out to you.

We offer that hand now to anyone that may need someone to talk to. We won't promise to be able to help, there's just no way we will be able to help everyone with everything, but we will talk with you and try to help if we can.

[Sparrowsquad]

Good thread here.

I have been diagnosed with chronic PTSD w/ psychotic features (hallucinations) and BipolarI disorder. Lost a kid in '02, then saw some kids get gunned down while on the job. Lost my frickin mind, this year was tough. I was in and out of the looney bin thanks to the hallucinations and flashbacks.

I too find a good work out to be just as good at clearing my head as the meds, maybe better. Of course working out while on these meds is a whole different goat.

I don't participate on here much but I'm also here if anybody wants to chat about things. I'm no expert but I've certainly been down this road.

[8earr]

I used to be depression couple years back that stemmed from a terrible self image and self esteem to the point of self loathing (yah I know, thats a whole lotta not liking myself) from high school all the way to my 3rd year of college. Sad thing is that I kept it bottled up for 7 years because I was afraid of asking for help from others in fear of rejection from family and friends. It came to the point where I was suicidal (knife in hand and at the wrists suicidal)

This sounds a lot like me. I had had suicidal thoughts in the summer, I envisioned myself drowning in a creek near our house; it was undoubtedly idiotic. My self-esteem had reached the height of all lows, synonymous with the increase in my abhorred negative thoughts.

Though it makes no sense to me. A girl who has expressed to me her desire to change because people call her weird when she expresses herself just played the piano like a maestro for me, and she's pretty smart too. So am I, and yet talented people like us have low self-esteem. I fail to understand why this is so for us when there are fat promiscuous girls and obnoxious guys, all ill-mannered, without much academic skill, who can exalt themselves without much effort. Talk about chaos in the modern world.

And yet here I am, desiring a higher self-esteem, like many others who should not be required to. Why is this? It is because nowadays one looks for the loud and the handsome, and the more the better; and we feel as though we can't acquire such self-esteem as they have unless we conform to the stereotypical idealistic image of the appropriate gender as displayed by the media of the present day. But this sentiment is, in a way, true, and also the easiest thing to do for self-esteem, yet it is nonetheless so difficult, as we know not the way by which to accomplish it, and we know not how to do it when we are surrounded by the same people who know us the way we are, and who would not be accepting of anyone different, either due to jealousy or to the petty love of scandal, or to the incorrect conviction that changing oneself is bad because we should be 'ourselves'. I say screw that; one can change themselves and then become what one has changed themselves into, such that it is second nature, and one is not faking it. One can learn how to act as in theatre, as I already know how to, and portray the character they wish, and become that character. But people do not understand. I apologize if this is difficult to comprehend or sounds like bull****, but it merely sounds as such; rather, it is very real for people like me.

Well, if you guys want motivation, you only need to know that there will be a better future, because there will, and you will not stop trying, like all the cells and organs and such in your body that work tirelessly for you to keep you alive and well, working like the workers of a war factory, with 100% loyalty to a cause, except you work for a better cause than just your protection, and despite your acknowledgment of the absurdity of this world--if you are not religious--, because otherwise we would go against ourselves and fall apart..

May I also express my condolences for Sparrowsquad, who has evidently underwent ordeals far more challenging than people with more ordinary problems.

[psychodiver9]

This sounds a lot like me. I had had suicidal thoughts in the summer, I envisioned myself drowning in a creek near our house; it was undoubtedly idiotic. My self-esteem had reached the height of all lows, synonymous with the increase in my abhorred negative thoughts.

Though it makes no sense to me. A girl who has expressed to me her desire to change because people call her weird when she expresses herself just played the piano like a maestro for me, and she's pretty smart too. So am I, and yet talented people like us have low self-esteem. I fail to understand why this is so for us when there are fat promiscuous girls and obnoxious guys, all ill-mannered, without much academic skill, who can exalt themselves without much effort. Talk about chaos in the modern world.

And yet here I am, desiring a higher self-esteem, like many others who should not be required to. Why is this? It is because nowadays one looks for the loud and the handsome, and the more the better; and we feel as though we can't acquire such self-esteem as they have unless we conform to the stereotypical idealistic image of the appropriate gender as displayed by the media of the present day. But this sentiment is, in a way, true, and also the easiest thing to do for self-esteem, yet it is nonetheless so difficult, as we know not the way by which to accomplish it, and we know not how to do it when we are surrounded by the same people who know us the way we are, and who would not be accepting of anyone different, either due to jealousy or to the petty love of scandal, or to the incorrect conviction that changing oneself is bad because we should be 'ourselves'. I say screw that; one can change themselves and then become what one has changed themselves into, such that it is second nature, and one is not faking it. One can learn how to act as in theatre, as I already know how to, and portray the character they wish, and become that character. But people do not understand. I apologize if this is difficult to comprehend or sounds like bull****, but it merely sounds as such; rather, it is very real for people like me.

Well, if you guys want motivation, you only need to know that there will be a better future, because there will, and you will not stop trying, like all the cells and organs and such in your body that work tirelessly for you to keep you alive and well, working like the workers of a war factory, with 100% loyalty to a cause, except you work for a better cause than just your protection, and despite your acknowledgment of the absurdity of this world--if you are not religious--, because otherwise we would go against ourselves and fall apart..

May I also express my condolences for Sparrowsquad, who has evidently underwent ordeals far more challenging than people with more ordinary problems.

I give you guys major props for being willing to talk about your issues on here. I am in know way being sarcastic but if you are seriously feeling suicidal you need to immediately seek help from a mental health professional (social worker/psychologist/psychiatrist) Counsleing and possibly an anti-depressant can help you. Yes, working out can increase self-esteem, but it is in no way a cure for deprssion which can be chemical imbalance. Best of luck guys.

[OxbowSky]

You guys are a doing a good thing but getting your story out there, even though it's just over the internet it only does good things to get it out and not keep it boggled up inside. I'll tell you guys my story too but before I begin let me direct peoples attention psychodiver9's post right above me he is very much correct! Depression is something we can put on hold but it's a disorder that may come back at times throughout our entire life and if at any time it goes to a point of wanting to actually harm ourself, then a professional needs to be advised. There's a lot of good in this world to miss out on just to throw it away for a bad night.

For me, i've been dealing with depression since I was a kid, I remember back to being in 5th grade laying in bed thinking about how everyone hates me. Every single summer break I would tell myself okay i'm not going to talk to people this year (i've got a big mouth I always love to talk) so that people will like me more...then the school year would get started and I would talk my heart out lol. Currently I probably won't have much negative to say as when i'm not depressed i'm actually a really fun person and I love to smile. It just happens to me maybe once a month i'll have a night where I have it bad and I lay in my bed and think about how I have no friends, and the world hates me and things would be a lot better off without me. From a religious standpoint I think some nights the devil uses my depression to his advantage to try to lure me into the ultimate sin of taking my own life which is why I would never ever do so, for the fact that I don't want to spend eternity in hell. Usually if i'm depressed it comes from rejection. I've learned that when I feel rejected it hits me hard. Not something like "will you go out with me? no" kind of rejection, I mean the smallest of rejections! If I feel like someone doesn't want to hang out with me or whatever etc. all of a sudden i'm laying in bed feeling sorry for myself. I've never been someone to have many friends, and I can tell you right now the reason is my lack of confidence in myself. Some girls tell me i'm cute or whatever but when I look in a mirror I see all the things I don't like about myself and there's a ton of them. My lack of confidence shows when I talk to people and i've come to find out the more confidence one has in themself the more people will enjoy being around them. It's true nobody wants to be around a debbie downer. Funny thing is even though I have depression if i'm with a friend who is just complaining and all that the only thing I can think is oh shut up! lol. I can't say i've really had a hard life, i've had many experiences that a lot of people probably hadn't had to deal with. But i'm not povery stricken, i've got food and a roof over my head so I really shouldn't complain. It's tough though, when going through a depressed night with all negative thoughts to feel motivated to still eat and workout. Personally i'm not productive in the slightest bit when this is the case. Being single makes me depressed every single day. I lay in bed every night telling myself I will never have someone laying in the bed next to me. I've been dating my girlfriend for around a year now and she's been the main reason I hardly ever get depressed, but i'm truly scared of what will happen if she leaves me. I think the only thing we can do though, for ourselves, is to start seeing things in a positive light, starting withourselves. Notice the good things about our appearence, this will bring out the good things in our personality, which will bring out a big decrease in depression. Anyone else who would like to share their story or just talk, to myself or any of these guys is obviously welcome we all have our issues and we all have a night where we need a little motivation to workout because of our issues.

[andyat11]

I've seen many people go through depression in my life, and i am not that old as it is. Anyways, I have felt the bitter part of depression (think about suicide, never was close to) but my days started becoming the same and its hard to have a happy life doing the same things over and over again... So 2 months ago I started to lift weights again, and my personality changed a lot. I started to love life again, go out meet new people and life is good again... Not selfconcious anymore and I am making more money than a lot of people working for Toyota (let on the U.S. haters :P), but ya lifes good again. Lately since ive been in a good mood and stuff I have even donated for some childrens charities because everyone deserves to be happy. Like I said I've seen depressed people in my life who often take medication and let's just say they aren't themselves anymore. And they cling onto them their whole life and it's kind of depressing to see it. I personally would never go on a pill for that, no matter how ****ed up I am. Not to say its wrong for others, since i haven't experienced great depression. But I just find that there are many other ways besides a pill to cure depression, just takes commitment and some hobbies. But then again thats just me (dont hate).

[OxbowSky]

Nobody is going to hate to what you have to say andy it's true in my opinion, you're doing the right thing by finding ways around medicine. I noticed a "similar threads" at the bottom of the page which I hadn't noticed before and clicked on one in the teen forum where a 15 year old kid is asking for meds for his depression. I think that's a sign that people try to take medicine as the easy way out sometimes. I think some posts in this thread go to show that weight lifting and improvement in ones self image due to weight lifting may not be the cure of depression but it is definitely one of the biggest steps towards happiness in life.

[selffirst]

Nobody is going to hate to what you have to say andy it's true in my opinion, you're doing the right thing by finding ways around medicine. I noticed a "similar threads" at the bottom of the page which I hadn't noticed before and clicked on one in the teen forum where a 15 year old kid is asking for meds for his depression. I think that's a sign that people try to take medicine as the easy way out sometimes. I think some posts in this thread go to show that weight lifting and improvement in ones self image due to weight lifting may not be the cure of depression but it is definitely one of the biggest steps towards happiness in life.

Dude.... I hear a lot of what if's...The what if's will do you in every time...don't try to guess the future....You need to live minute by minute...hour by hour...day by day...You stated some times you felt the "devil" lured you into feeling depressive thoughts...Dude....you were made in God's image and likeness...if you believe that...How could you believe the devil dwells within you...I'm gonna share my belief system....All positive thought and action is of God....negative thoughts aren't of God...Think in positive terms.. the devil or evil isn't allowed to exist in my consciousness .....I grew up with a mother who struggled with depression all her life...She shared with me that when I was a baby...voices were telling her to kill me but the positive forces didn't let that happen so my heart goes out to anyone to deals with these issues...I gonna keep you and the other guys to shared their stories in my thoughts...Remember the positive is the enlightened...the negative never sees that light....Self

[psychodiver9]

Ox- thanks for the support on that one. Sorry to hear you've been through those thoughts. I think we all have times when our doubts creep in and we wish our situation was better. I'm glad your faith helps you and you are able to keep in perspective some of the things you do have

Andy- I didn't mean to imply medications are a cure all. Depression can be situational(ie divorce, death, etc) or chronic/chemical. I'm glad you were able to get yours under control. By going to a professional it can often help with just having someone to talk to about what is going on. Someone impartial. I talked to someone after my parents divorced and my dog died suddenly shortly after. Never took meds and haven't been back, this was years ago. Not saying anyone who is depressed needs meds and/or lifelong therapy. Just trying to help.

[OxbowSky]

Thanks self for sharing your thoughts. You're right the devil should never be allowed to even give us the negative thoughts as we should never give them the time of day to be in our head! I'm sorry to hear about your mother though, it seems everyone at least knows someone who deals with this, it seems to be more common than most people who have it think it is.

No problem psycho you were completely correct. Thanks yeah faith really does help and I hope anyone else who hasn't found a religion can, for the fact that it truly does make life a lot better to believe in something.

[ReedT]

I'm gonna share my belief system....All positive thought and action is of God....negative thoughts aren't of God...Think in positive terms..

And this is just another reason you and I get along so well Self. This was also something I had to come into knowing and believing that helped me bind my fears and pains away. Whether one believes in religion is one's own prerogative, I personally do and it makes a world of difference having a more spiritual view on the world compared to the "realistic" views of some.

[sonti]

Not what you guys have, but I have a bit of post-partum depression. It's mostly gone now but I have some bad days. I think part of it came from body image issues after having a baby, I was quite small (5'5, 125, very athletic) and the baby ruined my stomach, something I could not have controlled. I gave up training for over a year, something that was my hobby, heck my life! It does get to me. That, and he is very colicky, difficult. I find that getting in my workouts really DOES help a lot, and I use the gym daycare. It's my "me" time Good luck to you all.

[Telamon09]

Glad to see others on here who deal with similar things as I do and who are reaching out and wanting to be proactive. Self, very good post, that really got me thinking. I think this time of year is particularily hard when the weather changes, I know for me I am very affected by outer stimuli such as that. On a simliar note I have become more aware that I go through my days experiencing and reacting to my feelings rather than thoughts. So since my feelings are pretty much all negative I end up feeling bad.
My struggles are with Social Anxiety and occasional depression as well as IBS[I beat it into Remission though ]. I voluntarily started seeing a psychologist about 2 years ago and read as much as I can to learn how to be more positive and how to actively combat the negative things in my concious. My thoughts (I cant even hear them but know they are there, deep in my subconcious) are very self defeating and comparitive, even for the minutest things! The friends I had growing up were all people who had a trait or some traits that I wanted for myself, I never had a self image that I could project, just fed off of and suplemented others. I relyed on being very nice as the reason for people to like me but eventually felt bad about that as I felt I got walked all over and not respected since I never commanded any respect.
I ended up basically having a breakdown in my early 20's, my best friend at the time was changing and becoming socially focused and going to great lengths to fit in. Our days of hanging out working on cars and doing things that didnt involve social stuff was no longer, so my one way of passing time was dissapearing. Other people that slowly started hanging out in our group were edging me out and I constantly felt left out and left behind. I ended up starting to not talk to my best friend and not agreeing with the great lengths he was going to to attract attention and then one day he was killed in a motorcycle accident. I felt numb really, I know I dont feel feelings right away so it took a while for me to fully feel and deal with that. After that, the group of friends that all were hanging out with my best friend and me now started hanging out at another buddies house and so much drama just happened over the next few years. Things were cool at first but then I felt increasingly not respected and left behind as my friends all ramped up their roles in the group and it was just complicated. I ended up stopping hanging out with them and at the same time was breaking down. We did a lot of partying (drinking) and my digestive system was horrible. It always was but now it was really messed up. I couldnt eat anything without it not sitting right, one time I ended up throwing up a bunch of black tar looking stuff and that was the last straw for me. I spent the next 3 years trying to figure out my digestive problems as I lost 45lbs from 190 down to 145! I had all sorts of tests done and was told I had IBS and not really given any good answers except to eat differently. I was very motivated to reduce the absolute hold that this IBS had on my life and started eating healthier slowly and I quit smoking and drinking. After 2 years I was much better and now 3 years later I started to work out again :=

That isnt everything but I dont want to take an entire thread up. I would like to share some things I have found to be helpful and hopefully others can find some good in it as well.
1. Before I started working out again I started eating healthy as much as I can which helps a good bit, as feeling better physically helps you feel better mentally. It feels SO GOOD to be working out again and focusing on proper nutrition this time as in the past when I lifted all through highschool I didnt eat nearly enough.
2. I mentioned to my doctor about how much trouble I have with Social Anxiety and decided to start some low dose medication to supplement other things I planned on doing to feel better. This helped give me a boost to work on the other things, I eventually want to wean off of them.
3. I know from experience that meds are not going to magically make everything better and the most important thing for me is working on my attitude and what goes on in my mind. I CANNOT stress this enough! It is also the hardest one for me and sometimes almost impossible due to the rollercoaster I am on in how I feel from time to time. I am reading a book that absolutely hits the nail exactly on the head for me. Its called "What to Say When you Talk to Yourself". I found it on Amazon and it had awesome reviews so gave it a try(you can buy it used for nothing basically). It explains how your feelings, beliefs and attitudes come to be and is very imformative which is a must for how i think since I like to know how things work to fully understand them. Also I hope I can post this here (but can remove it and give it out as a PM if needed), I found a website that teaches you how to build yourself from the ground up again so you can create the you that you would like to be. This is exactly what I need (remember I said how I was always the sidekick and never added any of me to situations) The website is www.selfcreation.com I am currently working through it and am taking it very slow so I absorb everything properly.
4.I see a psychologist voluntarily which helps a lot, but I gotta say that the stuff in step 3 above needs to be there for me as well because the psychologist mostly listens to what I say and doesnt give me much direction on things to actively do. But I am not trying to lower the importance of a professional mental health person in any way. If you cant afford one, colleges or universities have ones they provide for free to the public that are part of their mental health program. It consists of last year students who are going to school for psychology and they are supervised by a licensed psychologist. I never knew this existed! so would like to share that with others.

5.I also NEVER would have thought that writing would be such a excellent way to release built up emotion that most of the time I am not even aware of being in my subconcious, I highly recommend that you try that as well. I can whip out my blackberry and start writing in the notes application, just writing how I feel and it blows me away how much it clarifys things and organizes my thoughts!
On another note I notice that when I am in a more depressive mood that my energy is way lower and effects my lifting potential, does anyone have any ideas on how to get that energy back? or do you just modify your routine for the time being until back to normal again?

[justox69]

hey guys,
i am 18 years old and been bodybuilding for about 3 years. this past may of 2010 i decided to take accutane for acne on my face. i was put on 80mg a day and about 3 weeks into treatment i became severely depressed. the doctor told me to stop the treatment and i would be feeling better soon. the day after i stopped the treatment i took 5htp. to be honest, i felt amazing. my motivation was back and i couldnt have been happier. i continued the 5 htp and i slowly began to notice my depressive symptoms coming back. the depression got to the point where it was before so i started taken very high dosages of the 5htp to combat the depression. the 5 htp didnt worked and i fell right back into where i was. it is now december and i am feeling no better since may. i was put on cymbalta for a couple weeks but stopped that because it made the depression worse. i was than put on prozac for a couple months but did not see an improvement in that either. i am now thinking about starting wellbutrin because i have heard good things about that effecting norepinephrine and dopamine neurotransmitters.(which i think my depression comes from)
my question to you guys is do you think 5htp could have started my depression again? i have read articles saying taking 5htp which is a precursor to serotonin can decrease dopamine. i am wondering if i have done any permanent damage to my neurotransmitters? the depression is not something i can help by myself. i tried doing that the summer of 10 and nothing has worked. everything in my life right now is going great but i cannot appreciate the things because i do not think my brain is producing the chemicals it should be. i am meeting beautiful girls who think i am attractive and i feel no pleasure from this. before my depression this would make me very excited. i use to be a happy kid but think i have caused a chemical imbalance that cannot be solved?
any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated, its nice to hear stories of people who are going through the same struggles i am

[Telamon09]

[QUOTE=justox69;589626733]hey guys,
i am 18 years old and been bodybuilding for about 3 years......

Whats going on, sorry to hear about your recent challenges you are facing in life. I dont think 5-HPT caused you to go back into depression but rather had you feeling good for a bit and then you crashed because it was going to happen no matter what. You said you tried working on the mind related things yourself and didnt see the results you would have liked. I've been there many times myself but unless you know about and use the proper tools you wont get anywhere. I recently picked up a book called "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself". Its only $3 on Amazon and 114 people rate it 4.5/5 stars! In it the author (who is a PHD in Behavioral Research) explains how to change your thoughts and then he goes the extra step and explains-using scientifically backed up by studies- why changing your thoughts can help you feel better. Your brain begins to rewire itself after you put a more positive way of thinking into action. Its similar to how if you are addicted to porn you brain will be temporarily wired different than it used to be since the very high dopamine that is present when you look at porn changes how your brain handles dopamine. You will no longer get as much joy from regular life because your dopamine response is altered. (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ating-too-much). So I would definately work on the mental aspect some more.

As for working on the pysical part, were you ever depressed before you went on the acne medication? I know a guy at work got really messed up on it and had to be rushed to the hospital and it damaged his liver some(I dont think he drank enough fluids with it). So one thing that is very good to heal a damaged liver is Slymarin. I used a product called Slymarin Plus made by Futurebiotics when I was battling my IBS the past few years and really liked it. I would say you could go that route and MAKE SURE you eat as much vegetables as possible and I'm not kidding, because if you believe you were ok and then your body was damaged you NEED them to repair you. Also if you ever feel too overcome by Depression please seek help from a counsler (i mentioned in my post above about free psychologists/mental health professionals). Good Luck to ya.

[WhiteHood]

I believe depression and being unhappy sometimes is for life

but of course not always at the same level

highs and lows, highs and lows

so you might as well learn to live with it

fight it

live for the day, day by day

stay away from negative people and stressful situations if you can't handle them

or don't stay away from them, fight them instead, and one day you will be able to handle them

you may feel bad at first

but after every dark night (experience) comes a brighter day


I have recently been depressed, from about August 'til about a week ago. It started with having too much energy in the summer and having not enough to do with it, then a stressful situation in public that i got caught in, then i started thinking violent and negatively, then i caught a cold virus and along came the cold weather, and of course boredom again adds to it, as well as not being able to help who i bother with (some family). I lost all motivation and i wasn't thinking clear, i was unhappy with my workouts and just the thought of going to the gym made me angry, before two weeks ago i was going to the gym maybe once a week, twice at the most, when usually i go about five.

A week ago i had one hell of a stressful weekend, it really played with my nerves and well being, i had to cancel a person from my life, since then i have felt great, there are no distractions and the ball is starting to roll again, it's the cycle lol

I am going to go to the gym every day now, because it's my drug, it's what keeps me balanced, even on non weight training days I'll go in and run on the treadmill, constantly moving is life, it's no problem, it's only 1-2 hours out of a day.

I find it helpful to get sleep/rest when it is needed

when one is tired, one is mentally weak and open to hurt a lot easier psychologically

this has been my problem

especially after workouts when you're feeling drained

you then bump into a psychic vampire who wants to **** on you with drama because they are hurt themselves

definitely not good.


I myself have never taken any type of medication prescribed by doctors, or not prescribed

in fact i have only been to see a doctor once to seek help

his opinion was that i had schizoid personality disorder

all because i was feeling down, due to various things going on in my life

schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is definitely not me, the cheek of some Doctors!

he was quick to offer me medication, and also medication for side effects, that would be caused by the main medication

I of course refused, that is just me, I like doing things naturally


Meditation is really good if you're patient enough

notice that the words meditation and medication are alike

Doctors know nothing of anything spiritual

my advice is learn for yourself if you have the time to do so


Certain foods

Training

Positive reading = positive thinking

uplifting music


i did have one counseling session before, i poured out a load of things that were on my mind to someone that i didn't even know, just a load of crap basically, but it's like the counselor took all of this crap from me

i felt a great weight being lifted, i walked away feeling like a million bucks



keep fighting on!

it's all you can really do

and remember it's always best to talk about these things with people who understand

I'm sure you know the feeling of something terrible suddenly just departing from you when you think it can get no worse

well, this happens when we get together and share our thoughts and pains

Keep moving!

[ScrawnyBro]

but after every dark night (experience) comes a brighter day

That, my good sir, has just inspired me to get up off my but and kick into some weights.

[vancityjams]

This sounds a lot like me. I had had suicidal thoughts in the summer, I envisioned myself drowning in a creek near our house; it was undoubtedly idiotic. My self-esteem had reached the height of all lows, synonymous with the increase in my abhorred negative thoughts.

Though it makes no sense to me. A girl who has expressed to me her desire to change because people call her weird when she expresses herself just played the piano like a maestro for me, and she's pretty smart too. So am I, and yet talented people like us have low self-esteem. I fail to understand why this is so for us when there are fat promiscuous girls and obnoxious guys, all ill-mannered, without much academic skill, who can exalt themselves without much effort. Talk about chaos in the modern world.

And yet here I am, desiring a higher self-esteem, like many others who should not be required to. Why is this? It is because nowadays one looks for the loud and the handsome, and the more the better; and we feel as though we can't acquire such self-esteem as they have unless we conform to the stereotypical idealistic image of the appropriate gender as displayed by the media of the present day. But this sentiment is, in a way, true, and also the easiest thing to do for self-esteem, yet it is nonetheless so difficult, as we know not the way by which to accomplish it, and we know not how to do it when we are surrounded by the same people who know us the way we are, and who would not be accepting of anyone different, either due to jealousy or to the petty love of scandal, or to the incorrect conviction that changing oneself is bad because we should be 'ourselves'. I say screw that; one can change themselves and then become what one has changed themselves into, such that it is second nature, and one is not faking it. One can learn how to act as in theatre, as I already know how to, and portray the character they wish, and become that character. But people do not understand. I apologize if this is difficult to comprehend or sounds like bull****, but it merely sounds as such; rather, it is very real for people like me.

Well, if you guys want motivation, you only need to know that there will be a better future, because there will, and you will not stop trying, like all the cells and organs and such in your body that work tirelessly for you to keep you alive and well, working like the workers of a war factory, with 100% loyalty to a cause, except you work for a better cause than just your protection, and despite your acknowledgment of the absurdity of this world--if you are not religious--, because otherwise we would go against ourselves and fall apart..

May I also express my condolences for Sparrowsquad, who has evidently underwent ordeals far more challenging than people with more ordinary problems.

Power, power, power to you, brother. After depression hit me and badly during my second year of university, I couldn't think the same, I couldn't be the same...I didn't feel at home anywhere. NOTHING you say sounds like BS. That's one thing I oddly thank depression for...having opened my mind and learning to trust in the conviction with which people relate their experiences. Permission to stick your post on my bedroom wall, because that's everything I just needed to hear, man. Talk anytime folks. It's nice to know you're not alone

[SigEpLaxer]

I suffer from Bipolar Disorder I and I find it so hard to get up and do anything. I go to work on auto pilot. I have so many different things that I'd like to do that I just can't gather the energy to do it. I had attempted suicide many years ago and got help for it, but the underlying issues never got addressed. So, I'm still in it.

It's good to see this kind of thread though. Makes it good to know that I'm not going it alone.

[BigBoiAP]

I've gone through many of the things you guys have gone through along with anxiety issues. I've gone through phases where I've taken meds, but they are nowehere near as effective as working out. It has definitely been my best coping mechanism, and helps get me out of the ruts I find myself in because of the sense of accomplishment it brings. Keeping busy also helps out A TON. If you always have something to do or something to accomplish, it keeps your mind off the garbage swirling around in your head.

Just I few things that have helped me get through depression/anxiety that I thought I could share with you all.

[TheHeirApparent]

my gym closed down. its where i started. its where my passion was created. feelsbadman.jpg

[ReedT]

my gym closed down. its where i started. its where my passion was created. feelsbadman.jpg

Ouch. Do you have an alternative gym to go to yet??

[Telamon09]

[QUOTE=BigBoiAP;590034093].......Keeping busy also helps out A TON. If you always have something to do or something to accomplish, it keeps your mind off the garbage swirling around in your head.

I find this to be definately true for me as well. I am discovering that I have the type of personality which responds well to having a challenge that interests me or has some motivation for me. It can be just small things that fall into this category, it doesnt have to be somthing huge like remodeling my kitchen lol. Some examples for me are learning new things. We are so fortunate to have the internet so accessable to us since it holds SOO much information and I love surfing and learning about new things that interest me. At work I love when I get to fabricate automotive parts, since its a challenge to go from an idea to something that fulfills that initial thought. My only problem is that the good feeling I get is very short lived so I need to keep finding things to motivate me. I believe that this is a result of not knowing how to pat myself on the back very well, I am now aware that I easily dismiss positive things I do as nothing and cling onto the negatives as way more important. My days at work are mixed, I could have something to build and feel much happier when my mind is concentrating on that, or I could be at my computer keeping an eye on the test that is running with nothing to occupy my mind with. When that happens my subconcious kicks in floods my mind with negatives. Its a matter of A. Stopping that negative thought pattern and B. replacing the negative with positives. That is where finding something to occupy my mind with comes into play.
As 8earr said above its soo frustrating to see other people who dont do squat, yet they are able to exalt themselves, and do it well too.
So since I have noticed my anxiety and depression getting stronger and stronger lately I am turning more and more to the things I have learned help me feel better. I seem to slowly drift away from those things after seeing some good results and then it takes me a while again and more discomfort to realize I am not implementing those tools. Instead of playing some Bad Company 2 like I really wanted to this morning, I practiced Meditation. I find my mind get lots of crap running through it and meditation stops that and focuses me which helps me feel much better. Its very simple I just close my eyes and focus on my breathing and picture as I exhale that I can see steam come out as if I were in a cold room. I keep doing this and my mind pulls me away every few seconds with ramdom thoughts but I pull my concentration right back to the breathing and visualization and it usually takes like 20 min but I can feel when my mind calms itself and I am ready to continue with my day. Sometimes I need to do this a few times through out the day. Another is getting back to reading the book I mentioned above and ACTUALLY applying it. Key word Applying. Yet another is focusing on me and my needs being most important instead of feeling everyone else is more important all the time.
I have been on some antibiotics the last week for a sinus infection, and chose to not lift during this time. I CANNOT wait to hit the weights again in a few days! :=

[OxbowSky]

Hey guys I want to apoligize for not keeping up to everything I say i'll do and know I can do. I said i'd be here to talk about our issues and I haven't been on.
I got a full time job (career really) as an accountant now making the big bucks and living a grown up life...thanks to some resources and have completely lost myself from working out, eating right, or any type of fitness at all.
Well i'd like to think things are going to change very soon, but I don't have to say i'd like to think, since I KNOW they will.
Sunday i'm going into the gym and buying a membership, i'm not the type to waste money, so here I come! I think it's the only way i'm going to stay motivated is if i'm paying for it. It's going to be tough, I barely have time as it is to live life, i'm stressed a lot, but I will say nothing warms up a cold depressed day like looking into the mirror and loving what you see.
I think in order to maintain my motivation and stay true to you guys, i'll keep a log, not sure where to do so as i've never found it necessary, so if somebody can help me with where to post a log that would be great!
Hope everyone is doing well and minds are staying open and clear from bad thoughts. Today I got a box of 40 timbits and I see a picture of some abs I used to have a few years back and about lost it! I'm ready for this, i've got it planned, i've got more knowledge, and I KNOW I can do it. Life is about to change for a young accountant, and only for the better.
Message me if you want to talk about anything i'll be on A LOT for now on!

[Hoochzilla]

and what the **** is wrong with being depressed??

i mean lets face it:

economy sucks

job market sucks

having a bachelors degree doesnt guarantee you a nice paying job anymore

tv sucks

movies are nothing but remakes of **** from 25-30 years ago if not longer

music is atrocious

being a *** is the new "in" thing and being straight is awkward

i'd say being depressed today sounds just about right unless you're rich

[usertrack]

I would have started lifting years ago but when I tried to use the gym, I would get panic attacks so I stopped before I got going. Recently, the panic attacks got worse to the point I couldn't even face taking exams because I'd start throwing up and most recently I almost collapsed after leaving a lecture early.

This is what anxiety does, it stops you from living your life and achieving what you want from it but the worsening of it has only made me realise that I need to confront it head on. That's partly why I joined up here, that's why I'm posting here - because I'm inspired by what I see and read and this thread is inspiring me to get the hell out of my room (with 5kg dumbells) and into the gym.

I guess the biggest fear was being judged, be it for sounding stupid if I spoke up in class, for looking like a loser if I couldn't get a girl, for looking stupid if I came across as a newb in the gym. Even posting here is a challenge 'cause I'm not usually this open about this kind thing - I usually just excuse my anxiety for tiredness! Its crap, but well, I'm slowly learning to not care so much anymore about those who judge without knowing that person's own journey to where they are at.

Respect to all of you above for fighting this physically and mentally to achieve the goals you've set out. Maybe I can do the same.

[beltn4real]

You all are not alone. I too, have struggled with serious self image issues my entire life. I have always struggled with thinking that I'm so ugly, too fat, not smart, not funny, not good enough...etc. It's silly because no one else sees that, but myself. Depression and anxiety are no fun, and no one understands until they have experienced it. We just have to keep fighting against it, and let the truth that we are good enough prevail! Best wishes to you all!

[juliacheh]

I don't have depression, but I have PMDD and it sucks. I'm going nuts every two weeks:-(.
I'm on Prozac for ten-fifteen days per month...
I have a ton of debilitating physical symptoms including insomnia, severe bloating, muscle aches, food cravings and psychological symptoms - feeling of worthlessness, desperation. I've even had suicidal thoughts. I believe I could achieve so much more if I didn't have to cope with this ****...