re:Gaining

[recovering]

Monday, February 7, 2011

Workout was rushed (left work too late!), but felt soooo great! Feeling very bloated and uncomfortable today.

Workout: A little weird, but was short on time!
Lunges: 20 reps with 15 lb dumbbells
Leg Press: 20 reps @ pin 6 (don't know weight on this)
Bicep Curls: 15 reps with 15 lb dumbbells

Squats: 20 reps with 15 lb dumbbells
Leg Press: 20 reps @ pin 7
Upright Rows: 15 reps with 15 lb dumbbells

Lunges w/ Knee Raise: 20 reps with 15 lb dumbbells
Leg Press: 20 reps @ pin 7
20 pushups

Nutrition:
70 cals short on food. Working on this!

[recovering]

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Stomach is not feeling good this week Lots of bloating and really uncomfortable. When I get like this, it feels like my stomach needs to expand further than it physically can and so I feel terribly uncomfortable. I've been wearing baggy clothing, but even that is not helping... Go back to the naturopath on Monday, so we'll see if she has any advice...

Weight: 89 lbs (6:30 am)

Workout: Was extremely tired going into this

Bicep Curls:
15 x 12 lbs
15 x 15 lbs

Superset x2:
Widegrip lat pulldown
15 x 4pin; 15 x 4 pin
Seated Cable Row
15 x 4pin; 12 x 4 pin (hard)

Superset x2:
One Arm Dumbbell Row
15 x 15 lbs; 15 x 15 lbs
Tricep Dumbbell Kickback
15 x 10 lbs; 12 x 10 lbs

Chest Press:
15 x 3pin
15 x 3pin

Abs:
Dumbbell Side Bend - 25 x 15 per side
Dumbbell Twist - 100 x 10 lbs
Decline Sit Ups - 25

7 minutes on the elliptical

[determined4000]

updates?

[recovering]

updates?

Thanks for keeping me in this, D! Been a tough week - didn't want to face this - but I need to!

Monday, February 14, 2011

This past month has been hard. Have definitely been having GI issues. If it weren't for the faith I have in the naturopath, I would easily be down several pounds by now. But I'm at least holding steady. Bloating has been so bad. On Saturday, I had a nice dinner date and my pants were all very uncomfortable (usually they are lose and sit at my hips). The distention is all below my belly button (so must be intestinal?). I know that this is not weight gain, but it is still hard for me to deal with mentally when I see my stomach look like that at night. I try so hard not to look! And when it is bad, it takes several days for the swollen look to go away. I try not to focus on the appearance of it, but it is physically very uncomfortable also.

I went to the naturopath this morning and discussed all of the above with her. We decided that I need to gradually stop taking the butyren, even though it is the only thing that seems to be stopping the bloating and discomfort right now. I think I mentioned before that it was causing loose stools (which is weird because it is supposed to have the opposite side effect). She would like me to increase the l-glutamine to 1,000mg 3x/day (before was 2x/day) and apple cider vinegar to 2 tbsp 3x/day (before was 1 tbsp) and enzygest to 2 tablets per meal (before was 1). Additionally, she is having me do a salavia test for hormone levels (http://www.body-expressions.com/cata...73/2263260.htm). Who knows???

Weight: 89 lbs (6:30 am)

Workout: Lower Body


Squats and Lunges with 15 lb dumbells (2 sets of 40 each)
Bicep Curls: 15 reps with 15 lb dumbbells (2 sets)
Leg Press: 20 reps @ pin 6/7 (2 sets)

(x2)
Leg Curl @ pin 3 (<-- machine was stuck and couldn't make it short enough for me; could lift more, but height wasn't right and didn't want to hurt myself)
Leg Extension @ pin 4

Crunches on Incline
Leg lifts

20 pushups (2 sets)
Planks (1 min hold) (2 sets)

Workout felt great! I need to set more time aside for the gym. I'm rushing it too much. I'm having a big problem right now knowing when enough is enough in terms of work. I'm having a really great time right now professionally, but I am forgetting to take time to relax! I often work up until the time I go to sleep at night. Everyone needs time to just kick back and watch TV. I watch TV - but I always have my laptop out and am working on something at the same time.

My goal: take at least 1 hr per day to JUST WATCH TV OR A MOVIE! I should watch at least 2 movies per week. I will be keeping track of my progress on this goal here also

Whew, that was a lot. Feel a bit better now!!

[recovering]

Hard day. Really busy and didn't take any time out for ME! Reminder to self: do not let this happen again! That's all for now...

[recovering]

This week has been insanely busy. I am completely wiped today and cannot wait to crash on the couch this evening. I have not gotten a real workout in since Monday, unfortunately. I do about 15 mins of pushups/abs/pullups/etc at home every morning before I leave the house, but that's just my normal routine. I had so many meeting this week, I just couldn't find balance in my week. Balance is something that I really need to work on!

I did the saliva test and sent it in Wed morning. It should take about 3 weeks to get the results back. We'll see if anything comes up... I certainly hope it gives up some answers. In the meantime, I am just doing my best and continuing to eat.

Priorities for the weekend: watch a movie every night (meaning JUST watch the movie, not watch the movie in the background while doing work), get in 2 good workouts, get some work done so I can feel more relaxed, and SLOW DOWN (and less multitasking)!

Quote of the Day: This one seemed quite fitting for the day.
"I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time."
- Oprah Winfrey

[recovering]

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Weight: 89.8 lbs (6:00 am)

Feeling like I can do this right now! First thing: I decided to sign up with a new personal trainer. I used to train with somebody and have been trying to arrange to work with him again for months. I have given up on him being able to train me again and have signed up with somebody new. I like having a personal trainer. I know I could do it on my own - for me it's not about the motivation - but I just really enjoy working with a trainer. So I signed up and am starting tomorrow!

I had to do a fitness evaluation today. The results were basically the following (keeping in mind that I stopped working out over a year ago because of my weight and really haven't done much training since):

Strength:
Pushups in 60 sec = 37
Situps in 30 sec = 35
1-RM Bench Press = 80 lbs
1-RM Leg Press = 175 lbs

Cardiovascular:
Max VO2: 31 (Low/Fair) <-- this surprised me; any thoughts?; they tested me with a heartrate monitor at rest (i didn't do any exercise before, just sat); i never am short of breath and walk regularly at a fast pace; i haven't done any "real" cardio in about a year because of my weight, but this measurement really surprised me; could it be a result of the anorexia?? Emma_Leigh, if you have any thoughts, I would really appreciate input

Body Fat Percentage: 6.3%
BMR: 1220 --> 1585 calories recommended to maintain

I will be starting the workout tomorrow and am super excited!!!

As far as my stomach - things have been okay. I haven't written here, but I've been having a lot of trouble keeping the food down when I try for 1900 calories (my body just won't hold it down right now; I'm sure some of it is mental, but regardless, I just can't seem to keep it all down). So the plan is to drop calories to 1800-1850 calories until my body can process that a little more comfortably. This calorie level is more than I have been able to hold down, but we increased the digestive enzyme and apple cider vinegar (2 tablespoons before a meal). I think the apple cider vinegar actually does something, even though that seems crazy to me!

The bloating isn't gone, but I'm dealing better this week. I'm looking a ton better and my clothes fit again, so I've just got to stay positive. And I've got to start sleeping more, but I'll tackle that one tomorrow

Thought of the Day:
Everyone's lives
are like a very long sidewalk.

Some are well paved.
Others, like mine,

Have cracks, banana skins
and cigarette butts.

Your sidewalk is like mine
but probably not as many cracks.

[determined4000]

lots of good stuff

sounds like things are progressing well

About the cardio, when i was at my highest weight I was at my peak physically and a competitive XC runner. I was even recruited for college. When my weight goes down, my endurance goes down the tubes fast. You may not get tired walking but probably can't handle more strenuous activity that would qualify as HIT (walk forever but get fatigued running a few miles).

Hopefully your innards progress so you can get those cals up .

Glad to you hear you are looking forward to your workout rather than dreading the old one.

[recovering]

sounds like things are progressing well

About the cardio, when i was at my highest weight I was at my peak physically and a competitive XC runner. I was even recruited for college. When my weight goes down, my endurance goes down the tubes fast. You may not get tired walking but probably can't handle more strenuous activity that would qualify as HIT (walk forever but get fatigued running a few miles).

Hopefully your innards progress so you can get those cals up .

Glad to you hear you are looking forward to your workout rather than dreading the old one.

Thanks! And thank you for sharing your experience. Hoping that my body will bounce right back! And I will never put "dreading" and "workout" in the same sentence I only do what I enjoy, so that's why I wanted to do this for myself - to make me enjoy the gym as much as I deserve to!

[recovering]

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Weight: 89.6 lbs (6:00 am)

First day of my personal training! I was almost in tears mid-way through. Partly because I was confused and partly because it was so hard. Confused - the trainer had me lifting really heavy and I've been fragile for so long, it's hard to trust that my body can handle it. He had me doing 120lbs on the leg press and this was my first day of being back on the machines in over a year. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow about the weight he is having me lift. I'm not one to complain or say that I can't do something. But I don't want to do too much too fast. It's hard for me to really know what I "should" be lifting... I've never lifted really heavy before. I'm such a small girl, it seems strange to lift so much???

But all in all, it felt great and I really like the guy they matched me up with. I think it will become a good relationship, but I think I have to let him know a little more about me tomorrow.

Calories: 1800 (40% fat / 30% carbs / 30% protein)

Workout:
I'm not going to track my exercises here because he logs everything for me.
Focus = legs
Some chest work
Pushups, bicycles

Quote of the Day:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present."

[recovering]

Friday, February 25, 2011

Weight: 89.6 lbs (6:00 am)

Day #2 of personal training! I was SO tired, but was looking forward to my workout all day Got to the gym and NO power! They have emergency lights so I was able to get the workout in - despite it being pretty dark. I talked to the trainer about the amount of weight he was having me lift and told him briefly a bit about my history. Hopefully he understands where I am coming from... I think he can tell I'm a hard worker, so I just wanted to be clear that I tend to push myself too hard if I'm asked to. I definitely like to "please" and "impress."

As far as my stomach - it's okay, but not great. Things are just sluggish overall moving through. Even when I wake up I don't feel terribly comfortable. I have another week and a half until I go back to the naturopath to discuss the results of the new testing she had me do. So I just have to be patient and keep doing my absolute best!

Workout:
Upper Body
Shuffle (1 min)
Cable crossover (15-20 lbs)
Lat pulldown (60 lbs)
Bicep curl machine
Pushups (33, 20)
Bicycles and scissors (1 min each)

Quote of the Day:
"The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on."
- Chuck Palahniuk

[recovering]

Monday, February 28, 2011

Weight: N/A

Weekend - not a good one. Was terribly bloated and did not do well with food. When you pushed on my stomach yesterday, it just made the sound of the ocean. And it sure felt like there was an ocean in there. I tried so hard not to let myself think about it, but I did not win the battle. At lunch, I felt like I was going to explode and did not do well with food.

However, yesterday was yesterday - and today is a new day. I usually beat myself up over mistakes, but I'm not letting myself this time! Today is a new day. I will learn from my mistakes and let that make me stronger. This is the only way I will get back on track immediately, which is what I'm doing!

Workout: Gym felt FANTASTIC! I talked to my trainer very openly when I felt like he was making me lift too heavy. I don't know if I'm wrong, but I rather get my form down really well and go a little lighter than compromise form and go heavier. I don't think he quite agrees, but it's my body! I'm paying, so I'm going to speak up (hopefully! I'm not good at saying "it's too much", but I know I must).

Lower Body (not exactly sure of weights)
Jumping jacks (1 min)

x2
Leg Press (70 lbs)
Leg Extensions (60 lbs)
Glute Machine (20 lbs)
Smith Machine Squats (70 lbs / 50 lbs / 70 lbs -- I thought 50 lbs was best; 70 lbs I couldn't go as deep as I like)
Lunges (20 lb dumbbells)
Full situps (1 min)
Russian twist with 8 lb medicine ball

Goals:
1. Dinner - no computer!, watch movie or a TV series (start with Dexter)
2. Computer use - max of 1.5 hrs per evening
3. Before eating - 2 min breathing exercise
4. Workbook - 1 exercise per day
5. Sleep - in bed by 10 pm latest

Quote of the Day:
"To live is the rarest thing in the world.
Most people exist, that is all."
- Oscar Wilde

[recovering]

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Weight: 90 lbs

Still feeling super bloated It has been uncomfortable to sit all day. But I've eaten everything and been strong. My weight was 90 lbs this morning. I have not seen this weight in years. I'm not sure if it's "real" weight or not, so I know that I need to keep pushing. I'm uncomfortable, but I cannot let that stop me from doing what I know I need to do!!! Must.stay.strong!

Workout: Feeling stronger and stronger everyday

Lower Body (all reps are set at 12)
x2
Jump rope (1 min)
Bench Press (45lb bar warmup / 65 lbs)
Barbell Bent Over Rows (30 lb bar - not sure of total weight)
Pullups (assisted by trainer)
Seated Cable Rows (set 1 - 20 lbs @ 12 reps / 12.5 @ 20 reps; set 2 - 37.5 lbs @ 12 reps / 12.5 @ 20 reps (needed assistance))
Incline Chest Press (15 lb dumbbells)
Mountain Climbers (1 min)
Planks (1 min)

Don't think I'm forgetting anything... Did about 5 mins of extra ab work at the end. Felt good!

Goals recap: Obviously a LOT of work to be done here!
1. Dinner - no computer!, watch movie or a TV series (start with Dexter)
got a phone call, used computer a bit... hopefully today I'll make it happen!
2. Computer use - max of 1.5 hrs per evening
see above
3. Before eating - 2 min breathing exercise
forgot
4. Workbook - 1 exercise per day
nope
5. Sleep - in bed by 10 pm latest
didn't fall asleep until 11pm

Quote of the Day:
"Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only for wallowing in."
~Katherine Mansfield

[determined4000]

My weight was 90 lbs this morning. I have not seen this weight in years.

Workout: Feeling stronger and stronger everyday

In statistics we prefer to call this correlation

[recovering]

In statistics we prefer to call this correlation

In ED, we prefer to call this scary and unreasonable!


91 lbs this morning. SCARED!!! Have not seen this weight on the scale since 2005. The urge to cut calories back right now is so strong. But I cannot let myself! My bad brain is saying: "I knew 1800 calories was too much. Your body is not processing it correctly because it is too much food. Cut back NOW!" My good brain is saying: "This is just water weight and your body is going to even out. You are teaching it how to deal with the fuel it deserves. Cutting back on calories is only going to send you back into the cycle you've been in for years now. There is more to life than the weight on the scale." It's getting really hard to rationalize the good brain right now. I've never jumped up a lb in a day. I have been eating completely normally the last couple days, but I've been a lot more honest with my calories than normal. And I just started lifting again, so maybe it's water weight??? I don't know... Feeling a bit at a loss right now... Sorry for the rant... Hoping I can stay strong...

[determined4000]

http://www.leangains.com/2011/02/how...your-true.html

Be your own advisor. What would you logically/rationally tell someone you knew who only weighed 91lbs?

[recovering]

Friday, March 4, 2011

Weight: 90.5 lbs

Still not feeling well. The bloat is still here. It hurts under my ribs and is really uncomfortable. The ND said to try baking soda (1/2 tsp to 1 tsp water). So far, nothing...

Workout:
Lower Body
x2
Stairs (1 min)
1 Legged Leg Press @ 40 lbs
Lunge/Lunge/Squat/Jump @ 17.5 lb dumbbells
~ 1st set – 1 min – Lunge left, lunge right, squat, jump
~ 2nd set – 30 sec: same as set 1; 10 sec each: 1 rep hold; 1 min: same as set 1
Decline Crunch – Touch the folder (10 each – middle, left, right, high middle, high left, high right)

Russian twists with 8 lb medicine ball (50 x 2)
Bosu Pushups (20 x 2)

Goals recap: NEED BIG TIME WORK!
1. Dinner - no computer!, watch movie or a TV series (start with Dexter)
nope
2. Computer use - max of 1.5 hrs per evening
nope
3. Before eating - 2 min breathing exercise
nope
4. Workbook - 1 exercise per day
nope
5. Sleep - in bed by 10 pm latest
10:30 last night

Quote of the Day:
Striving for perfection is the greatest stopper there is.
It's your excuse to yourself for not doing anything.
Instead, strive for excellence, doing your best.
~Sir Laurence Olivier

[recovering]

Monday, March 7, 2011

Weight: 90.5 lbs

Stomach is better than Friday, but still not feeling 100% at all. I started taking the butyren again (2 pills per meal), which has helped tremendously.

Asked trainer to go down on weights until I see the ND on Wednesday. Will ask her for advice. Feeling as if my body is not doing a good enough job with recovery.

Workout: (went easier on the weights today)
Upper Body
x2
Mountain Climbers (1 min)
Close Grip Lat Pulldown w/v-bar @ 30 lbs
Wide Grip Lat Pulldown @ 30 lbs
Seated Cable Rows (12 @ 20 lbs; 20 @ 5 lbs)
Standing Dumbbell Front and Side Lateral Raise @ 5 lb dumbbells
Lever Decline Chest Press @ 25 lb plates
Decline Crunch – alternating elbow the folder with hands behind head (10 each – middle, left, right)

Pushups w/ feet on ball (20 x 2)
Crunches with heels on ball (30 x 2)

Goals reminder for the week:
1. Dinner - no computer!, watch movie or a TV series (start with Dexter)
2. Computer use - max of 1.5 hrs per evening
3. Before eating - 2 min breathing exercise
4. Workbook - 2 exercises per week (revised)
5. Sleep - in bed by 10 pm latest

Quote of the Day: (think I need this one for a second day!)
Striving for perfection is the greatest stopper there is.
It's your excuse to yourself for not doing anything.
Instead, strive for excellence, doing your best.
~Sir Laurence Olivier

[recovering]

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Weight: 90.6 lbs

Feeling terrible! Stomach is NOT happy. Under ribs on right side feels yuck. Was very uncomfortable to drive home So looking forward to seeing the ND tomorrow!!! Hoping to have a good report

Workout:
Lower Body
High Leg Skips (1 min)
x2
Leg Extensions (12 @ 30 lbs, 20 @ 15 lbs)
Lunges on Upside Down Bosu with Hold @ 10 lb dumbbells (front foot on bosu)
Squats with 10 sec Hold and Jump @ 10 lb dumbbells
Squat and Hold on the Wall (set 1 - 1 min normal, 1 min close legs; set 2 - normal)
Toe Touches (1 min)

x2
Bosu Crunches @ 50
Russian twist with 8 lb medicine ball @ 60

Goals reminder for the week: Will continue to write until I get this DOWN!
1. Dinner - no computer!, watch movie or a TV series (start with Dexter)
2. Computer use - max of 1.5 hrs per evening
3. Before eating - 2 min breathing exercise
4. Workbook - 2 exercises per week (revised)
5. Sleep - in bed by 10 pm

Quote of the Day:
"Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do."
-Liz Smith

"Most of the happy people I know do some one thing well."
-L. Jay Silvester

[andrerox80]

hadn't been on in a while and am happy to see you're posting and updating your journal. i'll have to go back and catch up.

[recovering]

hadn't been on in a while and am happy to see you're posting and updating your journal. i'll have to go back and catch up.

Hey!!! Glad you stopped in Things were going great, now not so great, but working hard! Big improvement in my weight Feeling good about that!

[recovering]

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Weight: 90.8 lbs

Appointment with the ND today!!! Lots to report. First off, she very confused as to why I might be feeling so bad right now. I'm definitely a difficult case, according to her. She said the one thing we haven't addressed is the bacteria problems that the test from last summer showed. She wanted to get some things under control before trying to tackle anything else, but it doesn't seem like that route is going to work. So she is having me use Propolis (propolis 65% tincture). I start with 2 dropperfuls, 3x/day for a week and then decrease to 1 dropperful 3x/day for 3 weeks. She said not to start until the weekend in case it makes me feel weird. It shouldn't, but I'm very sensitive to things, so she just wants to be safe.

Then came the results of the EndoScreen. My salivary sodium, potassium, and chloride levels came back in the normal range. What caused her concern was the fact that my cortisol levels did not decrease in the evening and night as it should. It was on the high end of normal for the whole testing period, but the 8pm, 12am were closer to borderline high. And my 4am collection was actually higher than my 12am collection and was abnormally high. The DHEA-Sufate panel also was concerning. It was flat - no variability - throughout the test. Whereas the levels should lower over the course of the day, mine stayed just about constant. So even though I fell within the range (though on the high end), she found it concerning that it did not lower by midnight. Finally, my estrogen to progesterone ratio indicates that I'm not even close to being able to menstruate, which was disappointing, but not surprising. She ordered up a topical compounded cream to apply, which I will be starting next week. Though this might help some of the GI issues and should definitely help with some of my feelings of not being able to "turn off" at the end of the day, she said my GI issues right now are just too severe for this to make any noticeable difference.

Regarding lifting in the gym, she said I should definitely not be lifting heavy right now, in her opinion. I have so much internal repairing to do, there just really isn't a need to add such heavy lifting and muscle building at this time. She said it's one thing to do it to get back in shape, but now is not the time to really focus on building muscle. I'm going with her advice right now... All I really want is to feel better right now. So whatever it takes, I'm ready to do!

So the plan of action:
1. Diet - continue 1800 calories daily
2. Continue regular stress reduction - gym and movie watching at night but no heavy lifting in the gym
3. Propolis 65% tincture (2 dropperfuls 3x/day for 1 week; 1 dropperful 3x/day for 3 weeks)
4. Compounded cream (1/8 tsp 2x/day for 1st week; 1/4 tesp, 2x/day for 2nd week; *rotate application areas throughout the day)
5. Follow-up in 3.5 weeks

That was a lot! I'm also going to try and keep track of how I'm feeling in this journal. It's nice to be able to log everything in one place. Hope you enjoy reading my journey

[recovering]

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Where to start... I have not gone to the gym since Tuesday to give my body a chance to relax. I think I really needed it. I also talked to my trainer and we will be going much lighter next week to see how my body responds. I think it is going to be a lot of trial and error until I find out what's wrong and what I need to do. But I can be patient...

I had a really busy day on Friday and had to do dinner out. So I definitely underrate that day. I did come home and eat a snack even though it was 10:30 pm. So I am improving, but have a TON of work to do with regards to being able to eat out.

I started taking the Propolis yesterday (Saturday, March 12). It is DISGUSTING! First off, it's so thick. So even though I am shooting the dropper down the back of my throat, it doesn’t go down smoothly. It feels thick on the back of my tongue and throat and the taste is awful. It really stains, so you have to be careful not to let it get on your teeth. I got a little on my finger and had to scrub and scrub to get it off. Last night, before bed, I accidentally let some of it get into my mouth and scrubbed my teeth and tongue with the toothbrush. Not exactly pleasant. But if it works, it's SO worth it!

I'm feeling really optimistic about things today. I ate 1800 calories yesterday and kept it all down. It's REALLY important that I am able to keep all of the food down. I know some of it is mental at this point – it’s almost as if at the end of meals I expect the food to come up so I go to the bathroom. I know that I can control some of it, but it will take a lot of concentrated effort on my part. I have increased the digestive enzyme to 2 tablets at each meal, so that should help things out also.

I have done a LOT of R&R this weekend. I didn't do too much work yesterday and watched a lot of TV and a movie. That is HUGE for me! I am even putting my computer away at times, which I never thought I would be able to do.

A big goal of mine is to SIT DOWN AND RELAX when eating. Rarely do I actually sit down and just relax during a meal. I'm usually multi-tasking and get up and down probably a dozen times. Ideally, I will set a table, bring my food to the table, turn on the TV without my computer on the table, look at my food and be thankful for what is in front of me, take a deep breath, and then begin eating and enjoying. After I am finished eating, I am trying to eat a piece of ginger candy to help with the reflux.

Lots of thoughts today. Good to get them out!

Quote of the Day:
"Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

[recovering]

Monday, March 14, 2011

Weight: 90.8 lbs

Went light with the weights today. Felt SO good to be back in the gym since I haven't trained since last Tuesday. Love, love, love being back in the gym

Workout: This was definitely easy, but it still felt really good. Going to play it safe for now. Rather be working out than doing nothing! Slow and steady... and patience!

Upper Body (went lighter, so upped reps to 20)
x2
Dumbbell Chest Press @ 12 lbs
Lever Decline Chest Press @ 10 lb plates
Lever Incline Chest Press @ 10 lb plates
Pec Dec Machine (not sure of weight)
Bicep Curl Machine @ 20 lbs
Scissor Kicks on Bench (1 min)

Abs:
Ball Transfer Crunch @ 20
Elbow to Knee with Bent Legs @ 40 (keep knees table-top bent and reach elbow behind the knee; full twist) - this was new for me; loved it!
Rollup with 4 lb Medicine Ball @ 20
Rollup wide Legs (Left, Right, Middle) @ 15
Plank on Stability Ball w Straight Arms (1 min)

Goals reminder for the week:
1. Dinner - no computer!, watch movie or a TV series (Dexter Season 2??)
2. Computer use - max of 1.5 hrs per evening
3. Before eating - breathing exercise
4. Workbook - none for this week
5. Sleep - in bed by 10 pm latest

Quote of the Day:
"I trust myself to stay the course, leaning on my growing ability to accept each ever-evolving phase of life without resistance or struggle, always focused on the valuable lessons each phase brings."

[recovering]

Friday, March 18, 2011

Weight: 92 lbs <--oops, posted the wrong weight somewhere along the way. monday i was actually 91.8 lbs. these numbers are new territory, sorry!

I just completed my 4th week back in the gym with "heavier" weights. And I am up 3 pounds. I see a HUGE difference in my appearance. My clothes are definitely tighter, but I think I look great. I am actually ecstatic with how good I look I haven't hit this weight since 2005. My one concern is how fast the weight has gone on in the past month. I also don't want to go beyond this weight. My goal was 92-93 lbs. I'm really confused as to what I should do now. I'm planning on cutting to 1700 calories (I was at 1800). I just can't deal with going much beyond this weight right now. Part of me feels that it is too soon to cut back the calories, but another part of me is just so unsure as to how I might handle my weight continuing to go up from here. Advice, support, encouragement is more than welcome

Workout: I think this was actually too intense. It just didn't feel right after I finished.
Lower Body
x2
Smith Machine Squats @ 10 lb plates
Smith Machine Squats Legs Close @ 10 lb plates
Leg Extensions @ 50 lbs x 12 --> 15 lbs x 20 (skipped set 2; think this was too much)
Leg Curls @ 30 lbs x 12 --> 15 lbs x 20
Hip Abductor @ 70 lbs x 12 --> 30 lbs x 20
Scissor Kicks (1 min)
Lying Cable Crunch on Bosu with 1 leg up (twist left, twist right, center, center x 15 each)

Cardio:
Took a 30 minute walk with my dog because it was a BEAUTIFUL day!

Quote of the Day:
Stop worrying about the potholes in the road
and celebrate the journey!
-Barbara Hoffman

[LadiesManXtreme]

Great job! Keep it up this is very inspirationgal. You're making great progress! :)

[determined4000]

Weight: 92 lbs I am actually ecstatic with how good I look

So your weight is up and you look and feel better.

I'm really confused as to what I should do now. I'm planning on cutting to 1700 calories (I was at 1800).

Why? You are still very underweight and will inevitably lose what you have gained and feel worse AGAIN! How long have you bin doing this to yourself now?
Isn't it nice being happy?
Why do you think you have so many digestive problems?
What will solve your problems and bring happiness? Isnt that your goal? Shouldn't it be?

[recovering]

Why? You are still very underweight and will inevitably lose what you have gained and feel worse AGAIN! How long have you bin doing this to yourself now?
Isn't it nice being happy?
Why do you think you have so many digestive problems?
What will solve your problems and bring happiness? Isnt that your goal? Shouldn't it be?

I'm not very underweight and this is just a lot for me to handle at the moment. Yes, I feel great, but I'm scared of gaining much more. Why? Because I want to know that I'll be able to maintain here. Past experience has scared me (I went up to almost 110 lbs in recovery before eating under 1200 calories. None of my doctors could figure out what was wrong and I went to a bunch.) Yes, it's nice being happy, but I won't be happy 5 lbs more than this. You of all people can understand, I know that. No, D, right now - if I was 5 lbs heavier - I would be ready to go on a diet and the downward spiral would begin. I know you're just trying to help

[andrerox80]

don't cut back on cals. that would be a bad decision and a step backwards. your body will adjust and you won't keep gaining and gaining, plus, you said you're "ecstatic" w/ how you look now. 1) you might actually like the way you look a few lbs more (just not seeing the number on the scale), and b) again, you won't continually gain, your body will adjust, and you are in total control. it's way too early to cut cals. what do the docs and/or nutritionists say abt your cal intake? how long have you been doing 1800 and do you do it consistently? sorry if you've answered these questions in previous pages - as i said, i was off the site for a while. so pleased w/ your progress, esp. the mental changes. so happy you love the way you look now. that is so, so great. oh, you mentioned a workbook - what kind of workbook. and what's the deal w/ the propolis? has it helped at all? ihow's your stomach doing? if you wanna read abt my own gi issues, i had made a post in the general section. i am now having digestive issues as a result and trying to figure out what works and what doesn't too. not fun. it's funny - 92 was always my gw too. wonder what it is abt that number. it's a pretty random number. are you gonna post progress pics or pics of how you look now? btw, i also eat abt 1800 cals (well, more. usually 1900). how's teaching? hope you're having the lovely weather we're having here.

[recovering]

don't cut back on cals. that would be a bad decision and a step backwards. your body will adjust and you won't keep gaining and gaining, plus, you said you're "ecstatic" w/ how you look now. 1) you might actually like the way you look a few lbs more (just not seeing the number on the scale), and b) again, you won't continually gain, your body will adjust, and you are in total control. it's way too early to cut cals. what do the docs and/or nutritionists say abt your cal intake? how long have you been doing 1800 and do you do it consistently? sorry if you've answered these questions in previous pages - as i said, i was off the site for a while. so pleased w/ your progress, esp. the mental changes. so happy you love the way you look now. that is so, so great. oh, you mentioned a workbook - what kind of workbook. and what's the deal w/ the propolis? has it helped at all? ihow's your stomach doing? if you wanna read abt my own gi issues, i had made a post in the general section. i am now having digestive issues as a result and trying to figure out what works and what doesn't too. not fun. it's funny - 92 was always my gw too. wonder what it is abt that number. it's a pretty random number. are you gonna post progress pics or pics of how you look now? btw, i also eat abt 1800 cals (well, more. usually 1900). how's teaching? hope you're having the lovely weather we're having here.

Wow, I just went and found your journal! I don't spend much time on here anymore (just journal really, I find spending time reading most posts really counterproductive for me at this point). I responded in your journal and hope what I said might help

Now, to takle your questions for me! I'm really scared right now, to be honest. I just want to stay at this weight. 93 is actually my magic number, so 92 seems safe. Plus, my clothes are fitting snugly and perfectly right now, and I'm NOT ready for them not to fit. I feel sexy and wonderful and just want to stay here and I maintain. I'm really NOT okay with gaining more right now. So I figure 100 calories less per day is only 700 calories less per week. And still over maintenance (I figure that should be around 1550 cals per day if I'm doing things right). I am actually doing 1800 calories very consistently now and am not letting ANY food come up (chewing a ginger candy and then a piece of gum after eating has really helped with my reflux, actually). I think a lot of food was coming up, because I was maintaining at 1800 calories before.

The propolis is supposed to tackle some the bacterial stuff (and toxins) that the first test I took picked up but that we never resolved yet. It definitely has taken down some of the inflammation (I experience that under the belly button - I'll get very distended and painful to touch or push on). So has it helped - I think a bit. Am I feeling great like I was in the summer, definitely not. Regarding bms (yes, gross, but I think this is a major source of some of the stomach problems), I feel like I'm constantly a little backed up and have a lot of trouble "finishing". It's like it doesn't all ever come out. With the propolis, I actually haven't been experiencing constipation and things might be slightly better. But it's hard to say and I've only been taking it for a week. I'm also taking some creams for the hormonal stuff and stress. So that should help too? The cream has progesterone, DHEA, etc. I'll keep you posted, though!

The workbook is one that I've done in the past, but never finished it. I am starting all over, as my responses now are quite different. It's called: "Finding Your Voice through Creativity." I bought it through amazon. I would highly recommend it! I am not artistic at all, but it allowed my creative energy to kind of run and got my mind really thinking in a different way than traditional journaling does.

Regarding progress pics, maybe I will. I've always felt very uncomfortable about posting anything very personal here. I know I can chop my head, etc, but the thought is still kind of too personal. Maybe I will, though I really don't take any pictures of myself in general, either. But it might be nice to see. I'll think about it! Teaching has been absolutely fabulous this year! Thanks so much for asking

So glad you're back. You've always been a huge help for me! Please let me know if I can ever help you.