A man says to his friend: "My wife is cheating with a doctor"

[elbeard]

A guy gets sent to prison for 5 years. As soon as he's locked in his cell a huge black guy gets off of the bunkbeds and says "You have a choice, you can either be the husband or the wife." The newly jailed guy thinks to himself: well I sure as **** ain't gonna be the wife and he tells the black guy "Ill be the husband."

Then the black guy says...


"Okay then, get over here and suck your wife's dick."

lmao

[Betep]

A Polish guy walks into a bar with a hand full of dog **** and says to the bartender "Look what I almost stepped into"

[AnIrIsHbOy]

A chair walked into a bar. He ordered a pint. The conversation went like this
Chair: Can I have a cold pint
Barman: Sorry, we dont serve your kind here
So the chair went home and trained for a year, putting on muscle mass and learned martial arts. A year later he went in with his year training. The conversation went like this

Chair: I'll have a cold pint please
Barman: Sorry, we dont serve your kind here
Chair: im a chair what you gonna do

[scotyg]

a mexican, a jew, and a black guy walk into a bar.

the bartender says "get the fuk out of here"

[Betep]

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and its destroying his family.

[MadMax31]

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and its destroying his family.

ok.

[NiceBoat]

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and its destroying his family.

A man tells a bad joke. Its in this thread, and its the op.

[JohnnyChristian]

A man is walking and stumbles uopn a magic lamp. And out comes a genie. The genie says i will grant you three wishes and what ever you wish for you're wife gets double.

Man: i wish for a new car.
Genie: you're wife gets double

Man: i wish for a mansion
Genie: you're wife gets double

For his final wish the man says: Beat me half to death.

good lol

[Betep]

A bear and a rabbit are taking a **** in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says

"Excuse me, do you have problems with **** sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says "No"





















































So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit

[Proteinzz]

A jewish boy asks his father for $50.

"40 dollars?!?! What in the world do you need 30 dollars for?!"

[305livewire]

A jewish boy asks his father for $50.

"40 dollars?!?! What in the world do you need 30 dollars for?!"

gotta use this one IRL

[thamagik]

A black guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. A white guy sitting at the bar notices him and says "hey, did you know there is an updraft between this building and the one next to it? If you jump off it will carry you back up." the black guy is incredulous and asks the white guy to show him. They go to the roof and the white guy hops off the roof, falls for a second, and then amazingly floats back up to the roof. The black guy can't believe it so he hops off the roof, but falls to his death.
The white guy returns to his spot in the bar. A few minutes later another black guy walks in and the white guy again tells the story about the updraft. They go to the roof, the white guy jumps and floats back up and then the black guy jumps to his death.
The white guy returns to the bar and drinks his beer until a 3rd black guy shows up. Again the white guy tells his story and they go up to the roof. White guy jumps, floats back up, and then the black guy jumps to his death. When the white guy returns to the bar he orders a beer. As the bartender sets the mug down he says "geez Superman, you sure don't like black people".

[Frank Drebin]

A guy gets sent to prison for 5 years. As soon as he's locked in his cell a huge black guy gets off of the bunkbeds and says "You have a choice, you can either be the husband or the wife." The newly jailed guy thinks to himself: well I sure as **** ain't gonna be the wife and he tells the black guy "Ill be the husband."

Then the black guy says...


"Okay then, get over here and suck your wife's dick."

I thought it was play house, you can be the mama or the papa.

[Frank Drebin]

A black guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. A white guy sitting at the bar notices him and says "hey, did you know there is an updraft between this building and the one next to it? If you jump off it will carry you back up." the black guy is incredulous and asks the white guy to show him. They go to the roof and the white guy hops off the roof, falls for a second, and then amazingly floats back up to the roof. The black guy can't believe it so he hops off the roof, but falls to his death.
The white guy returns to his spot in the bar. A few minutes later another black guy walks in and the white guy again tells the story about the updraft. They go to the roof, the white guy jumps and floats back up and then the black guy jumps to his death.
The white guy returns to the bar and drinks his beer until a 3rd black guy shows up. Again the white guy tells his story and they go up to the roof. White guy jumps, floats back up, and then the black guy jumps to his death. When the white guy returns to the bar he orders a beer. As the bartender sets the mug down he says "geez Superman, you sure don't like black people".

rofl

[CurlsfotheGirls]

thread is surprisingly lulzy

[WGalczak]

Two men are canoeing through a rain forest when they hit rapids and wash up on the river's edge. A nearby village of cannibals hears them and they are immediately taken prisoner. The two men are taken to the tribe's leader, who tells them, "First we're going to kill you, then we're going to eat you, and finally we're going to use your skins to waterproof our canoes. We're not savages, though - we'll let you choose how you die."

The first man says, "I'm Japanese, so give me a samurai sword." They give him a sword and he carries out seppuku. The second man says, "I'm a New Yorker, so give me a fork." The cannibals are confused, but get the man a fork, and he proceeds to stab himself multiple times all over his body.

"Why are you doing this?" asks the tribe's leader.
"To hell with your canoes," replies the New Yorker.

****in' luld

[Frank Drebin]

OK, my only 3 bb.com jokes

How do you know if your roomate's gay?


He gets a hardon when you're fukking him up the a$$


What do women and KFC have in common?

Once you're done with the breasts and thighs all you got left is a greasy box to throw your bone in


Whats the difference between a woman and a Fridge?

A fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

[prettycoolguy]

[ZachSmash]

[SYKO227]

A black guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. A white guy sitting at the bar notices him and says "hey, did you know there is an updraft between this building and the one next to it? If you jump off it will carry you back up." the black guy is incredulous and asks the white guy to show him. They go to the roof and the white guy hops off the roof, falls for a second, and then amazingly floats back up to the roof. The black guy can't believe it so he hops off the roof, but falls to his death.
The white guy returns to his spot in the bar. A few minutes later another black guy walks in and the white guy again tells the story about the updraft. They go to the roof, the white guy jumps and floats back up and then the black guy jumps to his death.
The white guy returns to the bar and drinks his beer until a 3rd black guy shows up. Again the white guy tells his story and they go up to the roof. White guy jumps, floats back up, and then the black guy jumps to his death. When the white guy returns to the bar he orders a beer. As the bartender sets the mug down he says "geez Superman, you sure don't like black people".

I could see this on College Humor already.

[ChefXplode]

shiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeettttt

if my wife was cheating on me with a doctor but i ended up with a whole prescription pad as a result....


id be like shiiet IAINTEVENMAD!!!!!!!

[davidkap]

long jokes are long brb 3 second attention spa.....

OH LOOK A NICKLE!

[KIDRR]

A man and his wife are eating dinner in an upscale restaurant when an attractive blond woman with huge boobs comes up to the husband and gives him a big open mouthed kiss. She winks at him and walks off.

His wife yells: Who the hell was that!

The man replies: That's my mistress

The wife replies: That's it, I can't take this, I want a divorce!

The man says: Well that's certainly an option, however just think, if we do get divorced there will be no more summers in Paris, no more Porsche in the garage, no more Christmas in Aspen, no more shopping spree's in Milan.

Just at that moment a mutual friend of theirs walks in with an attractive 22yr old brunette on his arm.

The wife asks: Who's that with Thomas?

The husband replies: Oh that's his mistress

The wife replies: Oh ours is much prettier and goes back to quietly eating her dinner.

[danow]

A guy and a dog are sitting on a bench.

Another guy walks up and asks "does your dog bite"

Guy on bench says "No"

Guy standing tries to pet dog and the dog bites the crap out of his hand.

Pissed guy says "You said your dog doesn't bite"

Guy on bench "That's not my dog"

[Cakes28]

i went to the doctors the other day, he said you have to stop masturbating, i said why, he said because im trying to examin you!

true story!

[Krugz]

i lol'd repeatedly

[hot4hotz]

A black and a mexican are in a car, who's driving?











The police










There are 4 people on the top of the highest mountain, an asian a mexican a black and a white. The asian man says "This is for my people" and jumps off. The mexican man says "This is for MY people" and jumps off. The black man says "This is for my people" grabs the white man, and throws him off the mountain

coolface.jpg

[debo911]

a black guy walks into a bar. bartender says.............................................. ..














"i dont want no trouble"

[Decept]

repped OP. lulz thread

[imhere4tehlulz]

what do you call 500 Indians without apples?












































































The Indianapolis 500