Going heavy to get light: My journey to self redemption

[llahhsoj]

^^ getting gassed is no fun. No weights in boot camp They serve some sort of chicken every single day. Always wanted to do air assault course rapeling was my favorite along with the ruck marches. Would I do it again hells no those b!tches there srs I wanted to move in with the boys. Mater shouldn't have a problem though because of her age. They'll leave her alone kinda like a yoda respect.

Nice benching and doing all of that after your fried!

I thought the gas part was fun. I had a horrible cold when I went in the chamber and was perfectly fine when I came out. The chamber basically removed all the snot in my body. I got a video from my bootcamp that showed our reactions coming out. I only looked mildly bothered.

[nvrstopworking]

Nice chest session mater.

Would like to try Bootcamp for a couple days, oddly it sounds like fun (minus the excessive running but meh I can put up with any kind of exercise I think.) My main concern would be losing too much weight due to all that cardio, srs. I'm under the impression you actually get to do some fun shiz in bootcamp - hand to hand combat, shooting, possibly working with explosives/grenades, climbing over walls, crawling in mud. Sounds like my ideal Saturday in the woods. Not sure I could refrain from laughing a bit at the whole yelling thing, srs, I either walk around finding everything funny or I'm all ham rage, not much else comes outta my brain.

Lulz. Da Ham would probably be an ideal Drill Sgt. Could totally see you getting in chick's faces, flexing dem guns and telling them that they had better get the fawk over that wall OR ELSE.

[llahhsoj]

Lulz. Da Ham would probably be an ideal Drill Sgt. Could totally see you getting in chick's faces, flexing dem guns and telling them that they had better get the fawk over that wall OR ELSE.

Speaking of drill seargeant, I checked out Holo Bola's bodyspace earlier. I didn't know that he is one. I knew he was big from the Promera log, but he has some impressive pictures in his bodyspace.

[mmater]

You all are funny. Ham, you would have a blast in bootcamp. I think you would be able to keep your bearing just fine. When I was in Navy bootcamp, I only lost 9 lbs over 10 weeks, and that was with extra PT (I went EOD/Diver, just so I could get more PT in. Yes, I'm that sick.) So you don't really lose all that much.

At this point, I just hope I get in, but it ain't looking so good. Nothing on my part though (well, at least not directly). I digress.

Plan is a fast leg workout tomorrow morning and then headed to Houston for the weekend. See yalls next week.

[Boomer29]

Have a blast mater!

Sorry to hear that, they are trying to kick people out/ offer them waivers that have been in for years. No reups. They just put my brother through school for 2 years and asked him if he wanted out, after paying all that $ for him and his training/school for combat medic. So I knew it would be hard to get in, but if it does happen for you seriously the most bad aztest female eva! Will be praying.

[danibel]

I thought the gas part was fun. I had a horrible cold when I went in the chamber and was perfectly fine when I came out. The chamber basically removed all the snot in my body. I got a video from my bootcamp that showed our reactions coming out. I only looked mildly bothered.

Me too! I thought it was really funny.

[mmater]

Ok, so just a quick stop by. So far the vacay is going well. Eating the way I had planned to eat (doesn't mean its super clean or awesome, just what I had planned). Also, I am happy and proud to report that I set my alarm and hit the gym this morning. Probably wasn't a good idea that I did legs yesterday before leaving, because they were sore this morning. The good news is that they were sore. Haven't had sore legs in a while. Plus, the hotel we are staying at is pretty swanky IMO, and they have decent, WORKING gym equipment. Plan is tomorrow and Monday morning to do the stairs at the hotel. That will be 30 flights of stairs. I am only going to go up them, because it's too much on the joints and knees for the down part IMO. Not sure how long it will take or how sucky it will be, but at least one round, maybe two will be in order. I am soooooo serious about staying on track this weekend. While I was running on the treadmill this morning, I could see my quads a bit, and I kept thinking, "I know you are in there!!!! Now, I just need to get rid of the fat!" I will do this.

[nvrstopworking]

Speaking of drill seargeant, I checked out Holo Bola's bodyspace earlier. I didn't know that he is one. I knew he was big from the Promera log, but he has some impressive pictures in his bodyspace.

Hmmmm.... will check out his pics (uh... no homer). I actually know his name from going through the "Extreme Dips Crew" threads. He's one of the top guys so I'd imagine that he's in pretty good shape.

Ok, so just a quick stop by. So far the vacay is going well. Eating the way I had planned to eat (doesn't mean its super clean or awesome, just what I had planned). Also, I am happy and proud to report that I set my alarm and hit the gym this morning. Probably wasn't a good idea that I did legs yesterday before leaving, because they were sore this morning. The good news is that they were sore. Haven't had sore legs in a while. Plus, the hotel we are staying at is pretty swanky IMO, and they have decent, WORKING gym equipment. Plan is tomorrow and Monday morning to do the stairs at the hotel. That will be 30 flights of stairs. I am only going to go up them, because it's too much on the joints and knees for the down part IMO. Not sure how long it will take or how sucky it will be, but at least one round, maybe two will be in order. I am soooooo serious about staying on track this weekend. While I was running on the treadmill this morning, I could see my quads a bit, and I kept thinking, "I know you are in there!!!! Now, I just need to get rid of the fat!" I will do this.

Way to stay on track mma!

Working legs before a vacation lol.... you're braver than I am. I make a conscious effort NOT to do them so that I'm not walking like a cripple while I'm away hahaha...

Have fun! Nice that the hotel has a good gym! Seems like a rarity. I remember the last time I was away (in Barcelona) the hotel said it had a gym and their "gym" turned out to be 1 slant situp board and about 3 sets of DBs that went up to 30lbs.. and an exercise bike. I was not impressed. ha.

[Boomer29]

I am soooooo serious about staying on track this weekend. While I was running on the treadmill this morning, I could see my quads a bit, and I kept thinking, "I know you are in there!!!! Now, I just need to get rid of the fat!" I will do this.

Go girl! I did not do so well this weekend but still did better than most. I was trying to stay on track and thought I was super serious, failed.

Will power is strong with this one.

[thehobbes]

Wahoo, way to stay on track. For the stairs you're running up and then what walking back down? Would be bertstare-worthy if you took the elevator back down 30 times, haha, the employees would be like wtf is this chick doing?

[mmater]

Wahoo, way to stay on track. For the stairs you're running up and then what walking back down? Would be bertstare-worthy if you took the elevator back down 30 times, haha, the employees would be like wtf is this chick doing?

Nah, I only ran the stairs once this morning. It took me 6 minutes and only the first 4 floors were "running" because they were too short and windy, I got dizzy. But I never stopped so it was all good. But I did take the elevator back down. I did it at the end of a 45 minute cardio workout. I just really like this gym's equipment. I will do it again tomorrow morning and try to break 5 minutes.

Oh, and just had some brazilian steakhouse. Hobbes, I did the meat proud, you would be soo happy.

[pharty]

Ok, so just a quick stop by. So far the vacay is going well. Eating the way I had planned to eat (doesn't mean its super clean or awesome, just what I had planned). Also, I am happy and proud to report that I set my alarm and hit the gym this morning. Probably wasn't a good idea that I did legs yesterday before leaving, because they were sore this morning. The good news is that they were sore. Haven't had sore legs in a while. Plus, the hotel we are staying at is pretty swanky IMO, and they have decent, WORKING gym equipment. Plan is tomorrow and Monday morning to do the stairs at the hotel. That will be 30 flights of stairs. I am only going to go up them, because it's too much on the joints and knees for the down part IMO. Not sure how long it will take or how sucky it will be, but at least one round, maybe two will be in order. I am soooooo serious about staying on track this weekend. While I was running on the treadmill this morning, I could see my quads a bit, and I kept thinking, "I know you are in there!!!! Now, I just need to get rid of the fat!" I will do this.

WOW Mater!! I'm super impressed!

[lexagon]

Stairs are brutal. We used to have to do those for ski team practice .. sheesh! Good job Mater!

[llahhsoj]

, I did the meat proud, you would be soo happy.

This could be taken to mean something else, lol. Have you heard anything else from the military yet?



Here is a link to my new log, if you are interested: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...#post946684963

[mmater]

Ok, I am back from vacation. It was a great weekend. Finally got some new, SMALLER clothes, stayed on course for what I had planned for eating and working out, and overall just had a great time. I weighed in today at: 212. a gain of .5lb. I am ok with that. Plan is to be down to 210 by next week, maybe even 209. Still trying to get to 199 by October 1. Gotta kick it into high gear. As for the military, it's not looking good due in large part to finances and being the end of the fiscal year, so I may need to stick it out through september. But, I am going to talk tomorrow about the reserves, more in depth. Will keep ya posted.


Alright, now for the rant that I have. And it's a good one in my opinion. So, I have a friend who I was "helping" her lose weight. By help, I mean I was offering advice, educating her on certain things and more or less just trying to be motivating for her. Now, I have learned with my group of friends that I don't need to be in their face about it. I am the most hardcore person I know when it comes to working out and trying to be healthy. All my friends just usually follow the greatest and latest fad diet. Anywho, two weeks ago, I sat down with her and picked her brain about why she thought she wasn't being successful in her "get healthy" endeavor. Grant it, she called it losing weight to look good for a photoshoot I have scheduled as a birthday present. I think it was a great way to motivate, but for her she hates working out. I mean, HATES it. But, she likes cooking healthy versions of things and eats organic and all that jazz, or at least likes to eat that way. So I proceed to tell her to just focus on her nutrition and not worry about working out right now (she has plenty to lose). She was shocked by my words considering how much I like to work out. But I told her everyone is different and that she could still lose a ton of weight just by eating right. We discussed her caloric intake and I set her on a simple count calories plan (apparently she likes to count calories). Nothing crazy, just basic stuff. She seemed relieved. Well, week one went by and low and behold she lost 2 pounds. I only checked in with her a couple of times because I didn't want to seem overbearing. Well, later in the second week I get a text saying she messed up and had a "Bad" lunch with her coworkers. I said, no worries, just shake it off and eat better and the next meal. The second week she didn't lose anything, and she was saying she was tired and felt crappy. She said that she didn't have time to prepare and blah blah blah. I told her that even though she was eating within her calories, food choices can influence heavily how you feel from and energy standpoint. Anywho, yesterday marked the end of week 3. I texted her today to see how it was going and this was the response I got:

"I gave up, you have done great because you have had a year of no school, work or kids to get healthy and that's awesome but I have stress through the roof so I eat and stay fat and I don't have a shot in hell of even looking half way decent by december, so why bother."

Ok, first things first. This is by far the worst defeatest attitude I have ever seen from somebody. Just plain awful. Secondly, and more importantly I was F@#4ing pissed that she tried to minimize my achievements by making it seem easy. Luckily, I responded tactfully and semi-encouraging, but I clarified that over this past year, I worked the first 7 months of it, and I have actually been in school the whole time. In the beginning I had to get up early and pack up a whole day's worth of meals because I was on the truck working 10-12 hours shifts randomly throughout the week, not to mention the rotations I had to do for school. Ironically, it's only been the past 4 months that I have been jobless, and I have more or less stayed the same weight. Anywho, the reality of the matter is that she just wasn't ready to make the commitment and she found every excuse in the book to do so. I understand that. I really do get it. I did the same thing, over and over and over again (don't believe me, read the beginnings of my journal or my early blogs). I have no problem helping, encouraging, supporting somebody in their weight loss endeavors. However, if you are not ready to commit to yourself then don't do it, it's that simple. The timing will never be perfect, but for me, I found something that was motivating and important enough to me to get off my ass and do something and make a change. I really can't convey how pissed off I was when I read that. I had to read it several times to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting it. I am actually still very pissed about it, but it just makes me want to hit the gym AND the kitchen that much harder and make even more positive changes for myself as proof!

Take home message: everyone is different. Intrinsic and extrinsic factors all play a role in whether or not NOW is the time for you to make a change. If it is, great! If not, then don't beat yourself up about it, just recognize it for what it is, and if it's important enough, you will find a way to make everything align. BOOMER29 is a perfect example of this. She is a prime example that getting healthy takes strength, courage, determination, and perseverance. It's not easy and life will get in the way every chance it gets, whether it be kids, marital problems, job, finances, social, etc. It's all about priorities, you decide.

[Boomer29]

SRS I got a tear! Thanks Mater you were one of the first one's in my log encouraging me and helping me down the right path so I know you only had good intentions and advice for your friend. Try not to be upset but use it as fuel. It wasn't you it was her and you are right she wasn't and isn't ready.

I did the same thing to one of my friends and she still reminds me and we laugh about it now. We got in the biggest fight about my stretch marks. I was arguing that no matter how much weight I lost my body would still be ugly so what's the point. I even went as far as telling her she was lucky because she didn't get any after her two kids and it was easier for her to get back in shape! (she worked her az off in the kitchen and the gym) She indeed does have them too in less noticable places. It just goes to show how far we will go when not happy with our selves and end up pushing our true friends away because they will tell us the TRUTH and not blow smoke. You did the right thing not blowing the smoke.

If and when she does get to that place she'll be calling you back or respecting you that much more in the future, even if she doesn't ever tell you.

PS so excited for our weekend rendezvous!!

[thehobbes]

"I gave up, you have done great because you have had a year of no school, work or kids to get healthy and that's awesome but I have stress through the roof so I eat and stay fat and I don't have a shot in hell of even looking half way decent by december, so why bother."

Holy mother of ham, this made me rage. Send her my way Mater, brb getting up at 4:30am daily, getting emergency work texts at 5am, being at work til whenever the hell it takes for me to resolve said issues, have many unplanned days of coming home when it's dark. Do I still eat healthy - yes, do I still workout - yes, do I still MAKE TIME to cook my own foodz and throw em in tupperwares if need be - yes, do I lose weight when I'm on a cut and busy with life - YES, do I have crazy amounts of life stress yet still succeed with my fitness goals - YESSS! Excuses, excuses. Ooo sorry Erica, I dropped a lil rage in your journal, sorry I'll get a paper towel and clean that up.

Take home message: everyone is different. Intrinsic and extrinsic factors all play a role in whether or not NOW is the time for you to make a change. If it is, great! If not, then don't beat yourself up about it, just recognize it for what it is, and if it's important enough, you will find a way to make everything align. BOOMER29 is a perfect example of this. She is a prime example that getting healthy takes strength, courage, determination, and perseverance. It's not easy and life will get in the way every chance it gets, whether it be kids, marital problems, job, finances, social, etc. It's all about priorities, you decide.

You are a wise woman, repped!

[mmater]

SRS I got a tear! Thanks Mater you were one of the first one's in my log encouraging me and helping me down the right path so I know you only had good intentions and advice for your friend. Try not to be upset but use it as fuel. It wasn't you it was her and you are right she wasn't and isn't ready.

I did the same thing to one of my friends and she still reminds me and we laugh about it now. We got in the biggest fight about my stretch marks. I was arguing that no matter how much weight I lost my body would still be ugly so what's the point. I even went as far as telling her she was lucky because she didn't get any after her two kids and it was easier for her to get back in shape! (she worked her az off in the kitchen and the gym) She indeed does have them too in less noticable places. It just goes to show how far we will go when not happy with our selves and end up pushing our true friends away because they will tell us the TRUTH and not blow smoke. You did the right thing not blowing the smoke.

If and when she does get to that place she'll be calling you back or respecting you that much more in the future, even if she doesn't ever tell you.

PS so excited for our weekend rendezvous!!

I am sooo excited as well. We should be pretty even, because I will NOT have worked out with Chris in two weeks until Saturday.

Holy mother of ham, this made me rage. Send her my way Mater, brb getting up at 4:30am daily, getting emergency work texts at 5am, being at work til whenever the hell it takes for me to resolve said issues, have many unplanned days of coming home when it's dark. Do I still eat healthy - yes, do I still workout - yes, do I still MAKE TIME to cook my own foodz and throw em in tupperwares if need be - yes, do I lose weight when I'm on a cut and busy with life - YES, do I have crazy amounts of life stress yet still succeed with my fitness goals - YESSS! Excuses, excuses. Ooo sorry Erica, I dropped a lil rage in your journal, sorry I'll get a paper towel and clean that up.


You are a wise woman, repped!

Girl, I was hoping you would rage. I was raging bad when I saw that,I actually thought of you and your rage. lol. I wanted to go apesh!t ballistic on her. Not because of her not wanting it for herself, but because she essentially attacked me. I work hard on tiptoeing around my friends and my sister and try and not make them feel bad about themselves when they are with me, because I know what it's like to have that self doubt and I don't want anyone to feel that. But, I didn't, because it would not have been beneficial. Hammy, I read on a daily basis how busy you are, it's crazy. Some people don't understand, but I wish I was busier. I wish I had a job that took up some time, because believe it or not, it's hard in its own way trying to find a way to fill the day. It's all relative people!

[lexagon]

Whaaa? Even I was raging at that! Sheesh, some people. But yeah she's just not ready. I've had people do that to me. Help me, I need help, blah blah. Everything goes great for a little bit and then wham, they just give up. I've learned not to push because most people don't want that. Just do what you have to do.

Being unemployed is no fun for very long I understand that. Been there a few times. Gets boring after a while. Sure you can always workout or watch TV, but even that gets to be a little boring after a while. Or at least it did for me. I always found things to do, mostly exercise and video games, but after a month or so I was dying to start working again. You'll find something that works for you.

Def don't let anyone get you down. You're a strong Amazon!

[mmater]

Whaaa? Even I was raging at that! Sheesh, some people. But yeah she's just not ready. I've had people do that to me. Help me, I need help, blah blah. Everything goes great for a little bit and then wham, they just give up. I've learned not to push because most people don't want that. Just do what you have to do.

Being unemployed is no fun for very long I understand that. Been there a few times. Gets boring after a while. Sure you can always workout or watch TV, but even that gets to be a little boring after a while. Or at least it did for me. I always found things to do, mostly exercise and video games, but after a month or so I was dying to start working again. You'll find something that works for you.

Def don't let anyone get you down. You're a strong Amazon!

Thanks Lex. Luckily, I am unemployed by choice. Since I am in school I get a housing stipend for the GI Bill. Problem is, this semester I am only needing 2 credit hours so it would be a waste of my GI bill, so I won't be getting the stipend the rest of the year. So, starting in October I will be looking for a job. Basically, I feel like I am just throwing everything up in the air and seeing what comes back down and sticks. Meh, it will all work out.

[Boomer29]

Move to Midland economy is great esp with your degree! Bankin'

[mmater]

In the style of Josh, I winged my chest workout today. still very tired, and my weight numbers are suffering so it may be time for a bit of a deload. But, not until after my epic weekend with Boomer.

BB bench press
95x10
115x8
115x6 (pathetic)

DB incline press
25x12
30x12
35x12

superset with ab coaster (60lbs extra on there), reps of 20/17/18


Hammer strength machine decline press
45sX12/10/10

Cable straight arm pulldowns
70x15
90x12
110x12

superset with hanging leg raises using ab straps (the ones that go under you upper arm)
reps of 12/10/10 - I got a good, deep burn out of these. Really worked the deeper ab muscles. Soo much so, I thought I was going to pee myself on the last few reps of each set. hahahaha.

smith machine bench press throw
45x20
65x17
75x15


bought some stuff to cook up for a few days. Went to a friends house last night for dinner and she roasted some okra. It was amazing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE okra, particularly fried okra, so I have been trying to find a way to make a healthier version and the roasted works just fine. Woohoo. Can't wait to eat my weight in okra, and then sh!t out the little white seeds for days. hahahahaha.

[thehobbes]

Not a bad chest workout, I get it though, considering what you have done in the past it's one of those meh things. When is the last time you deloaded?

Girl, I was hoping you would rage. I was raging bad when I saw that,I actually thought of you and your rage. lol. I wanted to go apesh!t ballistic on her. Not because of her not wanting it for herself, but because she essentially attacked me. I work hard on tiptoeing around my friends and my sister and try and not make them feel bad about themselves when they are with me, because I know what it's like to have that self doubt and I don't want anyone to feel that. But, I didn't, because it would not have been beneficial. Hammy, I read on a daily basis how busy you are, it's crazy. Some people don't understand, but I wish I was busier. I wish I had a job that took up some time, because believe it or not, it's hard in its own way trying to find a way to fill the day. It's all relative people!

Yeah it's definitely not beneficial to attack them back, or be passive aggressive about it, whatever. I doubt her saying that was meant towards you as a put down but it sure did come across that way! I can relate to the time thing, mine is pretty screwed up because I never get a middle ground really, I'm either at work 14hrs a day for weeks on end and it takes a toll on everything, or I'll get lucky and nothing will be going on for a little bit so I'll have some extra free time and be like ok, I lifted, took a nap, cooked, vacuumed the house, and cut the grass, now what? It's the not knowing that kills me, I could be headed towards 14hr days at any time due to some kind of emergency but I don't find out until I start getting texts at 5am on a Tues. :/ Oh and to your friend, if somebody has a lot of free time, guess what - THEY EAT OUT OF BOREDOM! So being busy as she claims does not mean you can't lose weight, come on.

[Boomer29]

Nice chest work mater. I have legs/ shoulders left for tomorrow and them I'm all yours! Probably won't attack the legs like normal because I have a feeling I'm gonna need em and they usually don't get un-DOMy until Monday

[mmater]

Nice chest work mater. I have legs/ shoulders left for tomorrow and them I'm all yours! Probably won't attack the legs like normal because I have a feeling I'm gonna need em and they usually don't get un-DOMy until Monday

Wise choice, young grasshopper. However, it's not me you need to be concerned with, it's my trainer Chris.

Oh, and btw the only acceptable workout gear must contain OU on it in some capacity. Or, if weather dictates you can start out with OU gear and switch to tank top (assuming you don't have an OU tank top, I don't :-() to show off gunz. BOOMER SOONER!!!!!!

[mmater]

Not a bad chest workout, I get it though, considering what you have done in the past it's one of those meh things. When is the last time you deloaded?


Yeah it's definitely not beneficial to attack them back, or be passive aggressive about it, whatever. I doubt her saying that was meant towards you as a put down but it sure did come across that way! I can relate to the time thing, mine is pretty screwed up because I never get a middle ground really, I'm either at work 14hrs a day for weeks on end and it takes a toll on everything, or I'll get lucky and nothing will be going on for a little bit so I'll have some extra free time and be like ok, I lifted, took a nap, cooked, vacuumed the house, and cut the grass, now what? It's the not knowing that kills me, I could be headed towards 14hr days at any time due to some kind of emergency but I don't find out until I start getting texts at 5am on a Tues. :/ Oh and to your friend, if somebody has a lot of free time, guess what - THEY EAT OUT OF BOREDOM! So being busy as she claims does not mean you can't lose weight, come on.

Well, I consider my injury to be the last time I deloaded which has been about a month to 6 weeks ago. I think it might just be lag from the long road trip. Not too worried, tomorrow is a rest day and Friday is just cardio and then a solid weekend of training with boomer, then I will see where I am at.

[llahhsoj]

Well, I consider my injury to be the last time I deloaded which has been about a month to 6 weeks ago. I think it might just be lag from the long road trip. Not too worried, tomorrow is a rest day and Friday is just cardio and then a solid weekend of training with boomer, then I will see where I am at.

Isn't a good idea for someone to deload every 6 weeks or so? I never tried a deload ever untill like 5 weeks into my Promera log. When deloading previously, I probably just had crappy workouts unintentionally for a couple weeks. Deloading is so draining to me. I look at it like lifting with one testicle. That is the best analogy that I can think of at the moment.

[geek23ka]

i just saw your post about your friend and just wanted to chime in with a big "that's her ****!" post. it really sucks that she feels like she has to minimize your work in order to rationalize her own failures. gotta shrug that off. her issues. stewed in her bad choices and inability to keep getting up and fighting. hopefully she will wake up one day and do a big homer simpson D'OH! and apologize to you, but i wouldnt hold my breath.

[mmater]

Isn't a good idea for someone to deload every 6 weeks or so? I never tried a deload ever untill like 5 weeks into my Promera log. When deloading previously, I probably just had crappy workouts unintentionally for a couple weeks. Deloading is so draining to me. I look at it like lifting with one testicle. That is the best analogy that I can think of at the moment.

I'm not a real fan of a proper deload either. Plus, I don't think I really know how to do one. I have usually just taken more rest days. But, I would rather do what you have done, and just have crappy lifts (in terms of weight) for a week or two and then get back at it. I guess that would be a deload, because technically a deload is less weight lifted. Right? Right?

i just saw your post about your friend and just wanted to chime in with a big "that's her ****!" post. it really sucks that she feels like she has to minimize your work in order to rationalize her own failures. gotta shrug that off. her issues. stewed in her bad choices and inability to keep getting up and fighting. hopefully she will wake up one day and do a big homer simpson D'OH! and apologize to you, but i wouldnt hold my breath.

Thanks Geek. I don't expect an apology from her at all (she ain't that type of person). I'm ok with that. I really think she felt I was pressuring her and making her feel inadequate no matter that what I was actually doing was giving her praises and motivation. I think that is why she backlashed at me. It still bothers me that she said that, but I understand where it is coming from. I texted her back that night with some followup words of encouragement, but she hasn't responded, so I'm sure I pissed her off. Oh well. She will get over it.

[pharty]

Just poopin' in and saying HI
And people are stupid.
And I don't deload.