i dont really like people.
its ironic...im so ****in lonely that i feel like crying all the time (fridays are the worst)..but at the same time i did this to myself, and actually WANTED it...the reason is because people are just fuking dumb. people in their early 20's just want to ****, drink, party, and live picket fence life styles. thats not me at all, and i dont like to do any of those things. and the things i DO like, such as fighting sports, making money, and overall living your life in the most unorthodox way (since we only live once) are basically things that NOBODY agrees with. so basically im stuck in a time of my life where i dont like 99% of people (for being dumb, gullible, sheep), and they dont like me (for NOT being one of them, a.k.a a dumb gullible sheep)
i had so many friends in high school/my late teen years back when that kind of carefree lifestyle was acceptable. but since then, i cut them all off as i got older. the reason is because it was cool to party and drink and go out to places when YOU'RE YOUNG, but im fuking 20 years old, now its time to make money and move onto the next stage of my life. i even felt this way when i was 17, which is why my friends and I drifted apart. they still wanted to do, and STILL DO do that **** all the time. they are all sheep who are destined to live the picket fence life style and are CONTENT WITH IT. so they wont understand a free spirit like me who wants the finer things in life. (and lets face it, you cant get the finer things in life by getting a college degree and doing the 9-5 life...atleast not until youre in your 40's)
the point is i dont get along with people, and they dont get along with me. we dont have very much in common. i dont want a girlfriend either because aside from the regular things we wouldnt agree on, i would also have to deal with relationship drama, so fuk all that.
this has caused me to be very fuking lonely...ill give you my life in a nutshell. i basically go to bed whenever i feel like it, wake up whenever i feel like it. i dont work. and i dont go to school. i have an online business that i just started. as for leisure, it consists of this: staying in my room and playing left 4 dead, going jogging, spending 6-7 hours at the computer, and going to the gym. ..throw in a little eating, a little ****ting, and A LOT of masturbating, and you have a me in a nutshell. i have a handful of people i converse with on a daily basis ( but we dont talk about anything important) and thats it. i dont go out to parties, clubs, bars, and i have no friends to hang out with. all because i made myself this way.
most people would think im crazy/a loser...but thats exactly my point. thats societies perception of people like me. but i think the general public is the one who is crazy for pouring alcohol into their bodies on a daily basis, dancing like retards at clubs, watching shows like american idol and jersey shore and being forced to wake up at times they would rather be sleeping, to go into some office and take orders from a man in a tie. im not the crazy one.
i want to be happy, but i dont know where the fuk to find people who are similar to me and share my kind of likes/dislikes. i thought money would make me happy since i would be able to say "fuk the world" as i speed off in my sports car. but since its starting to become more and more of a reality that i actually will get money in the near future, its also becoming more apparent that im going to be a lonely unhappy person with my money - and what the fuks the point of that? i thought it would make me happy but if you dont have anyone to share it with, then its fukin useless
basically i need help. i need friends who are like me. i dont know where the fuk to get them though...i just want to live my life like i did when i was 17...best times of my life