Can men really be intimidated by strong women?

[sy2502]

In my eyes a strong woman shows more beneficial qualities than negatives. Extremes aside, a strong woman shows work ethic, discipline, passion, care, and commitment. I love those qualities in a women. I outgrew the "cute" girls in the gym who took more time picking out their nike outfit then the time in their actual workout thing a while ago. Now I have a woman who is in the squat rack with me hittin ass to grass and I love it.

Repped this. Some guys first say they want a "girly girl", then they come to open thread complaining on how she's high maintenance, takes forever to get ready, is shallow, whines a lot, wants everything paid for, spends her time on the couch watching idiotic TV shows, and all she can talk about is what's in gossip mags.

[Miranda]

she's high maintenance, takes forever to get ready, is shallow, whines a lot, wants everything paid for, spends her time on the couch watching idiotic TV shows, and all she can talk about is what's in gossip mags.

that's what i do, too . . .

. . . not sure what it has to do with anything else.

[sy2502]

that's what i do, too . . .

. . . not sure what it has to do with anything else.

Practicing a sport seriously requires qualities like persistence, hard work, self sacrifice. And while they make your body stronger, I think they are also character strengths too. If you are used to work very hard, you aren't likely to be a self entitled individual. If you can drag your ass out of bed at 5am to work out, you aren't likely to be a self indulgent spoiled brat. That's what I was trying to say.

And you are neither dumb nor shallow, so stop trying to sell yourself short

[Miranda]

Practicing a sport seriously requires qualities like persistence, hard work, self sacrifice. And while they make your body stronger, I think they are also character strengths too. If you are used to work very hard, you aren't likely to be a self entitled individual. If you can drag your ass out of bed at 5am to work out, you aren't likely to be a self indulgent spoiled brat.

what you did was project a stereotype. of yourself, apparently, since you love to complain, wear designer gym gear and buy oxygen so you can gripe about what tosca reno does

regardless, whilst stereotypes do have a grain of truth of them, all they do is reduce an individual to a bunch of 'detestable' characteristics one can project one's insecurities onto.

men who are intimidated by strong women are weak, insecure haters. right.
women who wear designer gym gear are shallow, whiny, spoiled brats and don't know how to train. right.

'but moi, i, like, lift weights - i'm a strong, hard-workin' real woman, character of buffed steel and interests that do not encompass something as shallow as watching idiotic television programmes. i do this strong lifting-weights thing in an old ratty T-shirt because i'm too strong to wear nice clothes to the gym and i swipe an inch of motor oil to my face so i won't look like i care for my facial beauty. that'd be, like, shallow.'

real strength of character means you're not afraid to acknowledge and admit you have shtty bits, too

security in oneself might possibly mean not questioning others' soundness of character - to one's advantage, of course - because they don't want what you want.

[sy2502]

since you love to complain

check!

wear designer gym gear

I wish!!!

and buy oxygen so you can gripe about what tosca reno does

LOL, but I learned that lesson, and now I only buy Muscular Development and Flex Magazine!

security in oneself might possibly mean not questioning others' soundness of character - to one's advantage, of course - because they don't want what you want.

So determination, hard work, and the capacity to delay gratification to attain goals is not strength of character? And being a freeloading spoiled brat is? 'mkay...

[Miranda]

So determination, hard work, and the capacity to delay gratification to attain goals is not strength of character? And being a freeloading spoiled brat is? 'mkay...

what you do is reduce a complex human being into a one-dimensional character that can only have one method of operation. aka a 'stereotype'.

i don't consider myself to be dumb. in fact i'm so smart i realise 'hard work' is fully overrated in several areas of life. why work hard, if working smart can greatly reduce the workload?

now, i'm smart enough to understand that 'transforming' one's physique is something where you can't make shortcuts. hence i accept that it takes, above all else, consistency over years. trying to mingle my way out of it would be dumb. so i don't do that.

iow, what i do in the gym and how i approach training and diet is a separate modus operandi within a larger modus operandi. it does not necessarily reflect how i approach the rest of this thing called life

[rdferguson]

Practicing a sport seriously requires qualities like persistence, hard work, self sacrifice. And while they make your body stronger, I think they are also character strengths too. If you are used to work very hard, you aren't likely to be a self entitled individual. If you can drag your ass out of bed at 5am to work out, you aren't likely to be a self indulgent spoiled brat. That's what I was trying to say.

And you are neither dumb nor shallow, so stop trying to sell yourself short

I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, but I think qualities like persistence, hard work and self-sacrifice are only good if they're used appropriately. Relationships of the romantic variety were in the OP. Now, if I'm in a relationship with someone and I'm persistent and hard-working at trying to enrich and add value to her life in some way each day, and I'm willing to put off or sacrifice things that might be good for me alone in order to do things that are good for the both of us, then these are probably all things that are good for the relationship. If, on the other hand, I just coast by in the relationship, instead directing it all towards my sport, and I sacrifice my time with her for my sport, then my persistence, hard-work and self-sacrifice has all negatively affected my relationship with her, since it hasn't been directed towards her. To be honest, anyone can put in consistent effort and make sacrifices for someone/thing they care about, so imo practicing a sport seriously demonstrates only that you take your sport seriously; it doesn't show that you'll take the person that you're with seriously, and if anything it tells a potential spouse: "I'm already in a loving relationship with my sport, so if you want to be with me you're going to have to compete with it or accept coming second to it."

[LoveisGreen]

Well, if a man doesn't support my commitment to fitness then we probably wouldn't last as a couple in the first place. :P
I've met a lot of men who actually enjoy the fact that I love and respect my body enough to train it and make it strong. (And, Ladies, lets not forget that confidence is one of the most attractive traits any person can possess. Strong women are confident women.)

[illiniStrive]

that's what i do, too . . .

. . . not sure what it has to do with anything else.

Yeah.... I wouldn't call myself high maintenance but I take my time getting ready, whine about inane things, enjoy a paid for meal, watch pointless reality tv, and enjoy dishing on celeb gossip.

Not sure how this automatically disqualifies me from being an educated, disciplined, hard working person ???

[stylemefit]

I hear people say that (some) men are intimidated by strong women. I have an older male friend at the gym who tells me I'll be alone forever because I'm too strong - and while I just laugh at him, could it be true that men ~are~ intimdated by strong women? I don't get it. Why would they be? Sure, I lift more than 1/2 the men in my gym but if they'd train for a few months, they'd be out lifting me in no time! There's gotta be something I'm not understanding or something I'm missing... lol. (and I'm not talking about "me" in particular, I mean the whole intimidation thing, does that exist... and why?!)

OH sis! I feel the same way all the time... when in the company of men I am always trying to hide my arms and my wide back. It's my way of trying to appear more dainty and feminine, which the men I would be attracted to like.

[sy2502]

I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, but I think qualities like persistence, hard work and self-sacrifice are only good if they're used appropriately. Relationships of the romantic variety were in the OP. Now, if I'm in a relationship with someone and I'm persistent and hard-working at trying to enrich and add value to her life in some way each day, and I'm willing to put off or sacrifice things that might be good for me alone in order to do things that are good for the both of us, then these are probably all things that are good for the relationship. If, on the other hand, I just coast by in the relationship, instead directing it all towards my sport, and I sacrifice my time with her for my sport, then my persistence, hard-work and self-sacrifice has all negatively affected my relationship with her, since it hasn't been directed towards her. To be honest, anyone can put in consistent effort and make sacrifices for someone/thing they care about, so imo practicing a sport seriously demonstrates only that you take your sport seriously; it doesn't show that you'll take the person that you're with seriously, and if anything it tells a potential spouse: "I'm already in a loving relationship with my sport, so if you want to be with me you're going to have to compete with it or accept coming second to it."

That's not playing the devil's advocate, you are making plenty sense. I didn't mean to say it applies 100% of the times, but I so happen to greatly admire people who have goals, work hard for them, and are willing to make sacrifices for them. That's why I strive all my life to be that way (contrary to what Miranda thinks, that I am that way and therefore I think that's the right way to be). I find that my dedication and being goal oriented has paid off in an out of the gym, that not being completely self indulgent, spoiled, and all about instant gratification has helped in many aspects of life. Maybe not everybody's experience coincides with this, and yes it can be taken to bad extremes, like being a workaholic can totally wreck relationships, so does being a perfectionist that doesn't expect perfection just from oneself but everybody around too.

[rdferguson]

That's not playing the devil's advocate, you are making plenty sense. I didn't mean to say it applies 100% of the times, but I so happen to greatly admire people who have goals, work hard for them, and are willing to make sacrifices for them. That's why I strive all my life to be that way (contrary to what Miranda thinks, that I am that way and therefore I think that's the right way to be). I find that my dedication and being goal oriented has paid off in an out of the gym, that not being completely self indulgent, spoiled, and all about instant gratification has helped in many aspects of life. Maybe not everybody's experience coincides with this, and yes it can be taken to bad extremes, like being a workaholic can totally wreck relationships, so does being a perfectionist that doesn't expect perfection just from oneself but everybody around too.

I'll be giving you some green when my 24 hours are up.

[Demonia]

I can understand if they're scrawny and see a women in much better shape than them. But I have never seen or heard a body builder mention his envy or intimidation over a female.

[NotBigEnough206]

I just turn those intimidating women whether mentally or physically strong in to little pussy cats, and they love it.

[vigilante92]

Who cares?! Personally I train because I think it will make me look good, I don't consider what others (including men) will think when they look at me. If you're worried of being "forever alone" just think of serendipity! the best things happen by accident..you'll find someone by doing the things you love.

[yummycow]

I don't know if intimidation is the right word, but I've noticed a lot of men don't like it when I talk about lifting. I would guess it's because I am overweight and I tend to attract overweight guys and most of those men don't want to lift or don't like lifting and just don't like talking about it. Maybe it's just the way I bring it up, or maybe they just don't like it when I decide it's gym time instead of their time, I really don't know.

Some have told me they don't like lifting and that's fine. Those things don't bother me. When they offer advice and tell me to stick to cardio or that I should lift lighter so I don't get too big that bothers me.

Side note: I'm a very good shooter, and I out shoot a lot of guys at the shooting range. Some guys find this incredibly hot while others get whiny and make excuses for themselves.

Meh. I think there is someone for everyone it's just not always easy to find them.

[sy2502]

Do you mean physically or personality strong?

I don't think it's how much you lift.. but if i see a girl at the gym that lifts like a dude i assume she would not be interested in someone like me, and more in a supper huge BB guy. But that's just me.

The 2 aren't related.

[Ang123]

Who cares?! Personally I train because I think it will make me look good, I don't consider what others (including men) will think when they look at me. If you're worried of being "forever alone" just think of serendipity! the best things happen by accident..you'll find someone by doing the things you love.

I have to agree with this. Who cares what men think about my lifting! Or women either for that matter. If they don't like what you do or appreciate your body then you wouldn't be happy in a relationship with them anyway. Wouldn't you rather be alone and happy than in a relationship and miserable? I was thinking about this during my workout today that I have been made fun of a lot by guys in the gym for working out but they all have one thing in common they all have some self esteem issue. Without fail every one of them has been either extremely short (therefore they get looked down on by the other guys so they gotta find someone they can put down), or they are these scrawny teens who don't know how to act anyways or they are extremely fat. The hardcore, longterm bodybuilders never have said a negative word to me and in fact have always been the ones who were the most supportive and friendly. I think that's because the one's in good shape don't have self esteem issues so they don't have to take out their frustration on women. Just my two cents.

[liuzhoudragon]

If you look like Mrs. Olympia then honestly 99.99% of men really will be a mix of intimidated and revolted by you. Even on bb.com with a very pro-muscle bais in the male crowd I think 99.99% is a safe bet.

However for those women on here who don't abuse steroids and dedicated their lives to building as much muscle mass as chemically possible then you probably have a more what I will call tradtional female look. Lets say you have about as much muscle mass as Jamie Eason (most probably don't I guess).

In that case any man intimidated by you is missed two round hanging lumps of mass himself.

[Chelomurray]

I hear people say that (some) men are intimidated by strong women. I have an older male friend at the gym who tells me I'll be alone forever because I'm too strong - and while I just laugh at him, could it be true that men ~are~ intimdated by strong women? I don't get it. Why would they be? Sure, I lift more than 1/2 the men in my gym but if they'd train for a few months, they'd be out lifting me in no time! There's gotta be something I'm not understanding or something I'm missing... lol. (and I'm not talking about "me" in particular, I mean the whole intimidation thing, does that exist... and why?!)

I think it's because men are naturally "programmed" to be protectors/providers for women. And if a guy sees you're strong/out lifting him, he'll feel like you have no need for him....and also this may be another subject but some guys also think girls who lift are butch or lesbians 0.o
But hey, look at Dana Lynn Bailey, she's a beast (not in a neg. way) and has a husband! I'm sure there's guys that aren't going to be insecure about a strong girl ...I need to find one lol

[hellokittykatt]

I don't think straight men (in general) would want women with weak character or loose moral fiber no more than straight women wanting men who can't keep his willie in his pants and not bang every chick in sight. I think the big issue is that women who are ultra fit and hard bodied are masculinized looking and are thought of to have masculine personalities (aggressive, pushy, loud, argumentative, etc.) and that's generally not appealing to men because they're suppose to be the masculine ones.

Even as a straight female, I don't think hard bodied/chiseled muscled women look attractive on an aesthetic level, but I do respect the dedication and tremendous hard work those women have put in. I think that chiseled women look great in fitness clothes but in the real world, we have to wear regular clothing which isn't made or cut to accommodate muscles on women, but to enhance and accentuate feminine curves.

[sy2502]

I don't think straight men (in general) would want women with weak character or loose moral fiber no more than straight women wanting men who can't keep his willie in his pants and not bang every chick in sight. I think the big issue is that women who are ultra fit and hard bodied are masculinized looking and are thought of to have masculine personalities (aggressive, pushy, loud, argumentative, etc.) and that's generally not appealing to men because they're suppose to be the masculine ones.

Even as a straight female, I don't think hard bodied/chiseled muscled women look attractive on an aesthetic level, but I do respect the dedication and tremendous hard work those women have put in. I think that chiseled women look great in fitness clothes but in the real world, we have to wear regular clothing which isn't made or cut to accommodate muscles on women, but to enhance and accentuate feminine curves.

So why are you on a Body Building forum?

[LifeofRiley]

In THIS forum you will not find many guys who will tell you they’re intimidated by physically strong women. Many of us are in fact drawn to it.

However, the general population (and I’m painting broad strokes here) may feel less intimidated and more threatened(?) by it.

My wife was a tremendous athlete in college and competitive with me in the gym. It took some getting used to at first. In Texas we’re taught to treat women a certain way, so it was a little unprecedented for me. Lucky for me I found I really enjoyed this part of her and we grew closer. And the sex… AWE-sum.

Here’s what guys had to say about women with “abs”; might be a little more genuine sounding answers from men’s Relationship Advice board.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=151944663

[hellokittykatt]

So why are you on a Body Building forum?

Am I suppose to think that women are more beautiful and better if they're muscled out?

[sy2502]

Am I suppose to think that women are more beautiful and better if they're muscled out?

I'll ask again: why are you on a body building forum?

[dalkristel]

I'm loving my new muscular frame I'm slim (UK size 8) and still have my 30g boobs and curves and muscles! whats more my husband loves it too! As long as we are happy who cares what others think.

My friends say to me ooh don't get too masculine - I tell them I can't I'm not built that way i have esteogen not testosterone running through my body and unless I take steroids (which I never will) that will never happen - these sort of people are totally uneducated in the subject and dont know what they are talking about! Welcome to bodybuilding.com now educate yourself that's what it's here for.

[Miranda]

I think that chiseled women look great in fitness clothes but in the real world, we have to wear regular clothing which isn't made or cut to accommodate muscles on women, but to enhance and accentuate feminine curves.

i think you're basing your comment on only having seen women with low bodyfat flex in sports gear or on stage.

those images tend to skew people's perception about their actual proportions. i'd think most women with 'more' muscle than average are neither 'big' nor of some weird 'un' feminine shape to the degree they couldn't wear 'feminine' clothes. they don't flex all the time, either

[Jetigen]

I hear people say that (some) men are intimidated by strong women. I have an older male friend at the gym who tells me I'll be alone forever because I'm too strong - and while I just laugh at him, could it be true that men ~are~ intimdated by strong women? I don't get it. Why would they be? Sure, I lift more than 1/2 the men in my gym but if they'd train for a few months, they'd be out lifting me in no time! There's gotta be something I'm not understanding or something I'm missing... lol. (and I'm not talking about "me" in particular, I mean the whole intimidation thing, does that exist... and why?!)

It's a control/dominance issue. In my younger years I'd run away if a girl asked me out. Happened several times. The question is who is gonna be doing whom. Later I foundnd out that most of my friends were the same way.

[FOA]

Men are still in some ways seen as the protectors in relationships. I know a lot of my female friends say they like to feel protected when they're with their men. I guess that's why some guys have that mind set.

Personally I find strong women (physically and emotionally) extremely attractive.

[sy2502]

Men are still in some ways seen as the protectors in relationships. I know a lot of my female friends say they like to feel protected when they're with their men. I guess that's why some guys have that mind set.

Yes I remember those times, when I was very young. Then I started asking myself what exactly I needed protected from...