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  1. #1
    True Christian™ RevRodimer's Avatar
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    Arrow Christian penis enlargment? Can penis enlargement be Christian?

    Is there such a thing as Christian penis enlargement? I ask because there are a lot of websites with information on how to grow a bigger penis, but all of them are filled with sin, including pictures, lust-inducing discussions, and disturbing arabic words like "jelq".

    I think the "jelq" method is not Christian, because it requires a state of semi-arousal, making it half-masturbation. The tempation to think lustfully is too great, and there is even a risk of onanism - and the very thought of killing unconcieved children makes my penis want to shrivel up and hide inside me.

    Creams aren't Christian, since they have to be "applied", so that leaves pills. However, I don't recommend these for older gentlemen, as Obama's death panels might give you a cyanide capsule instead.

    I asked Dr Laurie if she could enlarge my penis, but she misinterpreted my request with awkward results.

    Advice please.

    EDIT: NO I don't ask this for lustful purposes. It is just that I used to take pride in all forms of my manliness and after seeing a certain brother have a certain "church boner" I have been feeling less-manly. Frankly I was shocked to learn that God makes them longer than 4 inches.
    Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13

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  2. #2
    Registered Snoozer doylertheoiler's Avatar
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    why multiple threads?

    Fistly id like to say to op I am Not hijacking your thread this is for both of us and for anyone with this problem.

    Id like to add that when i was younger I masterbated by tickling my penis i never really stroked it very much. I have tickled it ever since i started masterbating as a child.

    Im thinking that by tickling it for so many years i have made my penis more sensative. Now when stroking or having sex i ejaculate very easly due to the stimulation as stroking would be triple sensations as tickling.

    i will also add for all those years i have always tickled with out an erection if i got an erection id wait till it went limp enough to move it in different directions for different sensations. Im wondering if this has also increased sensations in my penis somehow.

    Any thought on this for me and anyone who has this issue thanks
    ***Canadian Crew***

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    The keys are in the truck, and the truck’s in the harbour, with a Colt 45 and daddy’s moonshine"
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  3. #3
    Your favorite Atheist! Harbinger's Avatar
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    There's surgery, implants and such.
    "If you slap every moron you meet, your hand gets tired long before the world becomes a better place." ~ Mr Beer

    Blindness to knowledge was his mother and despair of death his father. Darkness and fear gave birth to God. The awareness of truth will kill him.

    Founder of the Allied Alliances of Independent Atheists. ~ Denying the holy spirit since 1982
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  4. #4
    I have to souls burnedfish's Avatar
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    Are you a Reverend, RevRodimer?
    [Official] San Diego Brah

    Ducks eat for free at Subway
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  5. #5
    True Christian™ RevRodimer's Avatar
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    Brothers

    This is still an issue of major concern to me. Any Christians who would like to give me some advice?
    Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13

    Putting the stud back in bible study.
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  6. #6
    Registered User Queequeg's Avatar
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    As funny as this is I'm gonna neg you
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  7. #7
    ZEUS is LOOSE ONtop888's Avatar
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    urine idiot. negged.
    When I look in the mirror I see a man who was born to rustle.

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    John 16:2: "in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God."

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  8. #8
    SickKunt Lucky_ROA's Avatar
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    smh.................OH....Hi there Pastor Ezekiel

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  9. #9
    True Christian™ RevRodimer's Avatar
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    What's crackin', fella?

    Is this the cool thing to say nowadays? I might be a bit off with the 'street talk' there
    Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13

    Putting the stud back in bible study.
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  10. #10
    Registered User Blindead's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ONtop888 View Post
    urine idiot. negged.
    repped.

    I want to touch the butt.
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  11. #11
    Registered User user134597813204's Avatar
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    I'm a Catholic who wouldn't do that, partly because I worry that, if I did it, I would be vain. I'd rather try to be content with they body parts the way they are now.
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  12. #12
    Monocle Smile! EasTexan's Avatar
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    You mad god endowed me with an above average tool, yet I don't even believe in him.

    Wait wut.
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  13. #13
    Registered User Queequeg's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Blindead View Post
    repped.

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  14. #14
    Methodological Naturalism tk217's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Originally Posted by Queequeg View Post
    Originally Posted by Blindead View Post
    repped.

    lol
    ../l、.........................../:\ ̄\
    (゚、 。 7....................../:::::::\ ̄\
    .l、゙ ~ヽ................./::<◎>::: \ ̄\
    .じしf_, )ノ........./::::::::::::::::::\ ̄|
    ϾNeutral CrewϿ  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
         
        
      
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  15. #15
    Neosapien illriginalized's Avatar
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    You saw another man's boner in Church?
    أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله
    I do not hate Jews. What I specifically dislike is racial/ethnic supremacy and extremism that inevitably contradicts a root belief system. An example is Jewish (ethnic) supremacy aka Zionists. This is not exclusive to Jews nor their religion, there is in fact Arab zionists, Muslim zionists, Christian zionists, American zionists, Democrat zionists, and even atheist zionists.
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  16. #16
    Registered User user134597813204's Avatar
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    Was that insult necessary?
    Originally Posted by ONtop888 View Post
    urine idiot. negged.
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  17. #17
    SickKunt Lucky_ROA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RevRodimer View Post
    What's crackin', fella?

    Is this the cool thing to say nowadays? I might be a bit off with the 'street talk' there
    Talking to yourself I see, please continue.
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  18. #18
    Mr Prawo Jazdy ElMariachi's Avatar
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    Russell Wilson, the first QB in NFL history to throw a game-winning interception.

    "So you got fired again eh?" "Yeah, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident."

    Spiders are like offensive linemen, the best ones do their job and you never notice them.

    An obvious example of New Math.
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