Exes ALWAYS come back

[Thillygooth]

So do you think she is going to come back again?

If she does it won't be in the way you want.

It'll be more of how you stated above.

Brief periods of interest followed by devaluation/discard.

Eventually you will be so emotional that she will use that against to justify leaving you in the first place.

[evi21990]

Well I should say that she probably does have issues psychologically...the girl screamed at me for playing cornhole with her family at the beach. She said she didnt want me associating with her aunt and uncles because they drink too much. But, she screamed at me in front of all them publicly. Many times when she threw temper tantrums when we were together I threatened to break up with her, so I would not say I displayed beta traits while we were together. But, post break up I can admit that I've probably been a pushover with letting her come back. She is clearly incredibly unpredictable, and emotionally/psychologically unstable...threatened to get a restraining order because she was annoyed post breakup when she was initiating all the contacting, so I did not respond and then she called me 17 times that night without me picking up. So I continue the no contact, and if we were to bet on this, what type of time frame are we looking at to her coming back and re-instigating something?

[boogiezgb]

Well I should say that she probably does have issues psychologically...the girl screamed at me for playing cornhole with her family at the beach. She said she didnt want me associating with her aunt and uncles because they drink too much. But, she screamed at me in front of all them publicly. Many times when she threw temper tantrums when we were together I threatened to break up with her, so I would not say I displayed beta traits while we were together. But, post break up I can admit that I've probably been a pushover with letting her come back. She is clearly incredibly unpredictable, and emotionally/psychologically unstable...threatened to get a restraining order because she was annoyed post breakup when she was initiating all the contacting, so I did not respond and then she called me 17 times that night without me picking up. So I continue the no contact, and if we were to bet on this, what type of time frame are we looking at to her coming back and re-instigating something?

IMO, you should forget about her. She did you wrong and now you want her back? Come on man, she isn't the only girl in the world. Whatever the feelings you have for her now, they won't be there if and when you go out, enjoy your life, f*** girls and ultimately become a stronger version of yourself.
She is in your past for a reason.

[Thillygooth]

Well I should say that she probably does have issues psychologically...the girl screamed at me for playing cornhole with her family at the beach. She said she didnt want me associating with her aunt and uncles because they drink too much. But, she screamed at me in front of all them publicly. Many times when she threw temper tantrums when we were together I threatened to break up with her, so I would not say I displayed beta traits while we were together. But, post break up I can admit that I've probably been a pushover with letting her come back. She is clearly incredibly unpredictable, and emotionally/psychologically unstable...threatened to get a restraining order because she was annoyed post breakup when she was initiating all the contacting, so I did not respond and then she called me 17 times that night without me picking up. So I continue the no contact, and if we were to bet on this, what type of time frame are we looking at to her coming back and re-instigating something?

Not sure but look up BPD symptoms? Some of the BPD peeps around here would be better able to answer this ...

[FreshRollyG]

Thinking of my ex quite a bit lately..

We broke up in May last year due to letting myself go a bit, and was eventually bringing her down. We were together for 7.5 years.

I don't necessarily want to re-kindle anything, it's more or less feelings of guilt and frustration of how I eventually treated her. This has come to surface with the clarity I've received in the past 18 months.

I've been tempted to initiate contact with her via FB or something.. but I won't brahs.. She happily moved on and into another relationship relatively quick, and I don't want to upset her with our past either.

Ugh, I'll get through it.

[doddba]

Thinking of my ex quite a bit lately..

We broke up in May last year due to letting myself go a bit, and was eventually bringing her down. We were together for 7.5 years.

I don't necessarily want to re-kindle anything, it's more or less feelings of guilt and frustration of how I eventually treated her. This has come to surface with the clarity I've received in the past 18 months.

I've been tempted to initiate contact with her via FB or something.. but I won't brahs.. She happily moved on and into another relationship relatively quick, and I don't want to upset her with our past either.

Ugh, I'll get through it.

Once you swallow the truth and realize that camaraderie is only true for males, you'll stop thinking about her...
Women get over Men by getting under another man...
It's doesn't matter how many girls I've been with since the ex (probably 20+ since splitting last January), I still think about her and other ex's....I literally remember, almost, every girl I've ever been with..
I honestly believe that women are incapable of thinking about people that aren't immediately 'in front of them'.
Don't contact...TRUST Me...
My ex kept in contact for the last year, because she needed "something"....and soon I asked for something and got no response, it completely re-affirmed my realization....
Keep moving man...Keep moving....
Dealing with another crazy ex, who's married and still helplessly infatuated with me even though I live on the other side of the country...ignore for 6 years....They will find you..

[Fizt18]

This thread is gold brahs. It's also very true from what I've seen, but here's my situation.

Was with this girl for 2 years and we were each other's first love. We weren't always together because that's the way I liked It but we used to text everyday, ring each other at night and see each other at least 2-3 times a week. Last 3 months got a bit boring because I was always broke from being out of work and trying to focus on college, so she dumped me and blamed it on trust issues telling me she loves me but can't to it blah blah. I did speak to other chicks whilst we were together but only as friends and she was just to insecure. She did love me though, I know this is true because she was phsyco as **** and sometimes didn't give me the space I wanted, but I always treated her well.

Anyways, when she broke things off I said fine and walked away. 1 week later I rang her and asked for another chance because I assumed it was just a hiccup in our relationship. I was beta and she said we can't be together, and I asked her if she never wants me to contact her again, she paused and said yeah it's for the best.

Absolutely killed me but I suffered in silence and it's been 2 months but she's only text me a couple of times about things I've apparently said about her or whatever. Apart from the other day when we spoke on the phone and she got mad at me because I'd been speaking to this chick and posting it on Twitter or something, then when I asked her why she was mad she said that it was making her look like an idiot. Not a clue, she also got mad because I seemed happy and it was pissing her off. She is still very bitter towards me and even though she was madly in love with me she's acting like she wishes she never met me.

she's also posting much more on social network since we broke up and a lot of her status' are clearly aimed at me. Anyone know why tf she's still so bitter towards me after 2 months (almost) NC, and if she'll ever ease out of this? I couldn't care less anymore because being single suits me as a person but I'm just curious because girls are nuts and I don't have a clue what's going on.

[AwFukBye]

broke up 2 months ago due to distance, no real bad blood, was quite sad actually as we were still into each other. but anyways, we both knew cutting ties would be best but she asked me to leave some sort of communication open in case there was a family emergency or an issue with the dog or something like that. i said it's not like i'm going to call my provider and block her from being able to contact me so i'm sure she'll find a way if she really needs to speak with me, but i proceeded to unfollow her and her friends on social media, remove photos of us, etc. she's pretty logical and headstrong and understands that NC is best for both of us so i assumed that would be the last i hear from her.

start of thanksgiving weekend i get a text from her saying "hey". wasn't sure if she was wanting to wish me a happy holidays or if something was up with dog so i get back a few hours later, we make a little small talk and i ask her what's up. turns out she wants help with configuring the weather widget on her phone... notsureifsrs. she says "well u said not to contact u unless i had a reason". i play it cool and help her out, she says thanks and that i rock, i say no probs and go back NC. it's been 4 days of silence now.

wtf? she could have asked anyone under the age of 40 to help her with her phone and they would have known how. i don't get her game, there was no follow up questions, no enquiries into my life, no talk about thanksgiving or her family... weird.

[kjoel007]

start of thanksgiving weekend i get a text from her saying "hey". wasn't sure if she was wanting to wish me a happy holidays or if something was up with dog so i get back a few hours later, we make a little small talk and i ask her what's up. turns out she wants help with configuring the weather widget on her phone... notsureifsrs. she says "well u said not to contact u unless i had a reason". i play it cool and help her out, she says thanks and that i rock, i say no probs and go back NC. it's been 4 days of silence now.

wtf? she could have asked anyone under the age of 40 to help her with her phone and they would have known how. i don't get her game, there was no follow up questions, no enquiries into my life, no talk about thanksgiving or her family... weird.

This is pathetic, you should NOT have helped her. Don't do it again. She's nothing to you now, you don't owe her anything. Move on.

ONLY respond to exes if they specifically say they want the dick or are on their knees begging for forgiveness. "Hey" or anything like that, you instantly delete.

When will you *******s learn... ughh... (shakes my head)

[Joeyfresh95]

This is pathetic, you should NOT have helped her. Don't do it again. She's nothing to you now, you don't owe her anything. Move on.

ONLY respond to exes if they specifically say they want the dick or are on their knees begging for forgiveness. "Hey" or anything like that, you instantly delete.

When will you *******s learn... ughh... (shakes my head)

this what were you thinking brah

[Earl-hickey]

broke up with my BPD 3 days ago

Messy, argument filled ending but in the end it was me who walked.

Countdown clock begun immediately as to the recycle attempt. Unfortunatley i have to see her most days, and with me going into hardcore self improvement road it's only time before she starts trying to crawl back.

I give it 30 days, will be surprised if it's longer.

[AwFukBye]

This is pathetic, you should NOT have helped her. Don't do it again. She's nothing to you now, you don't owe her anything. Move on.

ONLY respond to exes if they specifically say they want the dick or are on their knees begging for forgiveness. "Hey" or anything like that, you instantly delete.

When will you *******s learn... ughh... (shakes my head)

like i said, we ended on good terms, i'm not going to act all butthurt and just go silent once she asks when it's literally a 5 second reply. i agree she's nothing to me, the only reason i thought about it was cause this thread popped up on the front page. i have tinder date lined up on wed and am catching up with a girl from school, don't mistake my post for me having feels or wanting to know what to do next. i just thought it was a rather lolzy attempt to contact me. i treated her the same as i would anyone else who i'm on good terms with but have no interest in meeting up with.

i'm hugely in the NC is best camp, but sometimes u can take it too far to the point of being petty and, in your words, pathetic. (imo)
if u do it right though and have been through it a few times then after NC comes the ultimate - complete indifference.

[qleonard]

honestly its going to sound pathetic but I probably wasn't fully moved on until 8-10 months post break up.

my main tips
- NC
- remove anything that means you will see her or what she's doing. (i deleted ******** after blocking her didn't seem to do the trick)
- MAINLY: do things YOU want to do. start doing hobbies you gave up on that you wished you hadn't etc. or take up new hobbies you're interested in.
- Dont hate yourself if you cave on the no creeping etc. Just try again and remind yourself it will be for the best in the long run.
-Hang out with your friends. I lost a lot of friends after becoming relationship dependant. Spending time with your friends is very important though. Keeps you distracted, can have fun, and you're not at home sulking.

- another important thing, don't drink away your pain. I did next to no drinking after the breakup for a long time, all it does is basically give your mind free will to think/do whatever it wants to.

This is exactly what I'm doing. Unfortunately she still has **** in my place she has to pick up...:/ So, I'll see her again...

[doddba]

Don't say a word to her unless she asks you a direct question...trust me....keep it cordial and mute...

[PxV]

broke up 2 months ago due to distance, no real bad blood, was quite sad actually as we were still into each other. but anyways, we both knew cutting ties would be best but she asked me to leave some sort of communication open in case there was a family emergency or an issue with the dog or something like that. i said it's not like i'm going to call my provider and block her from being able to contact me so i'm sure she'll find a way if she really needs to speak with me, but i proceeded to unfollow her and her friends on social media, remove photos of us, etc. she's pretty logical and headstrong and understands that NC is best for both of us so i assumed that would be the last i hear from her.

start of thanksgiving weekend i get a text from her saying "hey". wasn't sure if she was wanting to wish me a happy holidays or if something was up with dog so i get back a few hours later, we make a little small talk and i ask her what's up. turns out she wants help with configuring the weather widget on her phone... notsureifsrs. she says "well u said not to contact u unless i had a reason". i play it cool and help her out, she says thanks and that i rock, i say no probs and go back NC. it's been 4 days of silence now.

wtf? she could have asked anyone under the age of 40 to help her with her phone and they would have known how. i don't get her game, there was no follow up questions, no enquiries into my life, no talk about thanksgiving or her family... weird.

You're paying her cellphone?

[kjoel007]

like i said, we ended on good terms, i'm not going to act all butthurt and just go silent once she asks when it's literally a 5 second reply. i agree she's nothing to me, the only reason i thought about it was cause this thread popped up on the front page. i have tinder date lined up on wed and am catching up with a girl from school, don't mistake my post for me having feels or wanting to know what to do next. i just thought it was a rather lolzy attempt to contact me. i treated her the same as i would anyone else who i'm on good terms with but have no interest in meeting up with.

i'm hugely in the NC is best camp, but sometimes u can take it too far to the point of being petty and, in your words, pathetic. (imo)
if u do it right though and have been through it a few times then after NC comes the ultimate - complete indifference.

I see. Well, let's test this: text her and ask her to do something for you... if she replies, then fine, no need to act "butthurt" as you call it whenever she wants something of you again. If you get no reply, then you have your answer and you should act accordingly.

Actions speak louder than words mane. Doesn't matter if you ended on good terms, you've gotta move on.

Edit: and doing things for an ex is definitely taking things too far, so you've contradicted yourself. You don't do chit for them.

[Canucks121]

It's been a long time since I've been on the misc. probably over 3 years. Me and the gf of 3 years broke up in August We lived with each other for 2 years, and I ****ed up. I use to read these threads all the time in the past and I always knew about NC ect thought I would be prepared, but I got caught with my head down. I was hanging out with her for the past month being a beta bitch while she was getting pumped by someother dude. She inisted we be friends and I always knew it wasnt going to work because of a situation like this would arise, I get attached again while shes banging tyrone. I found out yesterday, feels bad man but fuk her I'm on 100% NC from now on. She walked all over me. lying sloot. I even asked multiple times if there was another dude. I'm 110% done with her after she disrespected me like that.

I'm going to spend the next little bit improving myself. I gained about 30 pounds while with her so time to get back in shape. Best of luck to you other guys.

[Pepwave24]

Idk dude if she wants to go and explore other guys so let her and that means she wasnt for you. Sounds like you really want to start settling down so its good to know if a girl is stable with you or not. Just keep going out til you find the right one and in between if your exes come back then you have some easy hook ups but only til they or you find someone else.

[NumberOneStunna]

So me and my ex dated for 5 years. I'm 28 and she's 24. We broke up at the end of July. Overall our relationship was good 80% of the time and a living hell 20%.

Background info:

1) she was the one who was pushing for a relationship 2 to 3 months into casually dating. I was content with keeping it casual but eventually I caught the feels and began believing that she genuinely wanted to be with me (I have a hard time commtting). A few weeks later she fell in love and told me. I didn't feel the same way until 1.5 years into our relationship. During this time I had a large social circle, I was ripped, good job, happy etc.

2) Slowly she would do things to make me question my friendships. First she would cause drama with the group of girls we hung out with while the girls genuinely tried to include her in activities and be her friend. Instead she would be jealous that maybe one of them would try to steal me from her. Eventually it got to the point where she would argue with me constantly and make my life difficult if I hung out with them or if they talked to me. She made me choose and stupidly I agreed because at the time she said they wouldn't be there for me at the end of the day or if things got really hard so I thought to myself i guess she is right. This was a big mistake on my part.

3) half way through our relationship she moved on to getting rid of my guy friends because she didn't like me going out with them, having boys nights, playing basketball etc. She would call me repeatedly and argue with me everytime I'd be with them. It got to the point that slowly I'd distance from my friends and hobbies because it wasn't worth the hassle (that's how I justified it stupidly). I lost all my friendships by this time.

4) she had no friends and her life revolved around me. Her former best friend and her haven't talked for 2 years. I got in touch with said former friend and slowly they rekindled and became best friends again. Big mistake on my part because this friend was a sloot and repeatedly told her I was cheating on her and couldn't be trusted.

5) 4 year mark, I was like wtf and resented her for manipulating me and forcing me to decide btw her and my friends. I was miserable, my life was boring, I didn't lift and had no hobbies (now I realize this was my fault and take full responsibility for letting someone do this to me).

I was so tired of being accused of cheating so I hooked up with at girl at work. Ex found out and went psychotic. I apologized and told her we should break up. She's like no please don't leave me..promise you'll be with me forever...we can work this out. Stupidly I agreed. Things were better for a while then slowly she started acting like her old self.

6) year 5, the final year, I was emotionally dependant on the relationship by this time. I stopped being alpha and started letting things slide that I shouldn't of because I was scared of being alone. I also quit a high paying very competitive job to start my own business so I had a lot of stress and uncertainties.

I bottled my emotions in until she finally wanted to talk about what's bothering me. Stupidly I told her believing she would be supportive but instead she used it against me and made me feel like I was weak and going to fail in my business and that I was stupid for quitting a job that most ppl would kill for.

One day I went through her phone and found her talking to another guy and sending him pics. She slept with him. I confronted her and she broke up with me. Stupidly I begged, pleaded, let her blame, gave up my self respect and dignity just so I could have her back. We got back together in early March.

7) summer or this year out of nowhere she starts flaking and telling me shes busy but she kept rescheduling and telling me she loves me and wants to be together forever. I was emotionally dependant with no one else in my life along with starting a business that I believed her. She kept this up even to the day before she broke up with me. She then breaks up with me over text without an explanation and goes absolutely cold to me.

I beg and cry for almost a month trying to get her back. Eventually I say eff this and go no contact end of August. She calls me few days later crying and saying she made a mistake. I tell her I don't trust you and leave me alone. Few days later I try to get back together again and get rejected. Go back on no contact.

8) been no contact since September. Since then I worked on myself, back at the gym and starting to look juicy, reconnect with some old friends, start meeting new ladies that are hotter than her and putting this on insta, back to my old self and begin gaining self respect back.

End of october i move on. I get a call from a weird number and answer rhinking it's business related but it's her. I recognize her voice but to rustle her jimmies I say who is this. To save face she says her name quietly then she says she was just thinking about me and wanted to see how I was doing. I say I'm busy, bye. Then hang up. I legitimately was over her and wanted nothing to do with her.

9) one of my bros has her on ******** and tells me she changed her profile pic to her and a guy at a football game. This guy works with her (both doctors) and just so happens to be the same race as me (in our city it is extremely rare to find out race). Her family and friends comment on the pic and say the usually gushy stuff.

Clearly she did this to try to move on from me. I take solace in her actions because she regrets her decision; whereas, I've moved on and don't want to get back together.

At the end of the day exes do usually come back even after they dump you and you commit the cardinal sins of begging, crying etc. but only as long as you get back to your old self and have other women chasing you and genuinely improving yourself. Word of advice, don't ever go no contact because you want to get back together. Do it for yourself because you have developed certain characteristics that are unattractive. Your ex will eventually get in contact but at that time you won't want her back nor should you especially if she left you.


Cliffs: don't be lazy..read the post.

[Fizt18]

This. Seems like she ****ed you about too much and didn't want anything to do when you let go of yourself abit, that's what the majority of chicks are like. Want you when you're at your peak, but when you're no longer the attractive alpha stud that you once was, she'll lose interest. Seen it before a few times, even some of the females in my family have done this to dudes, must hurt. My chick of 2 years (first love) left me about 2 months ago, I'm pretty much over her now and I think she's on another dude anyway. You can only live and learn. What's meant to be will be brah.

[BullittEV]

Hey guys I just joined, but this thread caught my eye because I've been through the one of these situations recently and it has completely sucked. Been the ****tiest breakup of my life for multiple reasons. This is kind of a long story but I am going to try to be as efficient as possible so it is easier to read. I would GREATLY appreciate any help that could get my ex and I back together. I will preface this with saying she might have some legit issues psychologically that are way beyond immaturity.

This girl is a sophomore in college, and I graduated a year ago in December from a school where she lived in town. She was a local, going to community college and still living with her family. I left my number for her co worker one day at work at a smoothie place, but she felt so strongly about me that she took the number from her co worker since her co worker had a boyfriend anyway and she texted me that night. A few weeks went by and we started going on dates...initially I did not think much of her but she really grew on me. We got in an official relationship and she was always praising me. I had vocalized alot of the issues I had with some of the losers she had dated in the past that were just kind of rednecks that I didn't like to think about her having been with. That was basically my main flaw, and always has been as a boyfriend. As we got closer, and she got WAY more comfortable around me she started to be a little more grouchy and a little more comfortable vocally expressing her frustration over some things, but at the same time she still very much appreciated me and loved me. After having been together for 3 months we got engaged. I know...sounds crazy. But her father loved me, as we are both endurance athletes and have alot of similar interests. He also only has two daughters, so he was ready to have another male in the family. So we got engaged, put down deposits for the wedding and scheduled it for this spring. We got engaged back in January. Things move along, and I should mention she has always been VERY spoiled by her parents. She gets an entire floor to herself as her room, and has been pampered by the parents. I definitely spoiled her myself, and got her a nice ring that she loved for the engagement. But, once we got engaged she started to be extremely controlling and became more comfortable getting mad. Fast forward to the summer. We move in together just 1.5 hours from her family since she wanted to stay in state. I turned down opportunities elsewhere just for her, so she would be happy here because she didn't want to be far from them. I took her on a nice cruise to celebrate her birthday, and one of her late graduation present from a year ago before we had started. After the cruise she becomes incredibly volatile with her mood, gets mad over anything, won't let me do anything, and I come home from work and she just wants to watch her secret life of modern american teenager show or whatever it's called. She had turned into a psycho...goes to the beach for a week with her sister..but right before says I love you and cant wait to get married to you. Starts to act weird the last two days at the beach as we had been kind of arguing because I was frustrated she would be leaving again for another week to go with her mom. She comes back, puts the ring in my hands that sunday, and then walks out on me. Goes to the beach, and then I find out that week she started talking to a new guy that week at the beach. It wasn't before because I saw the development actually take place with communication that week. She still has to move her stuff out at my place, but turns into a huge b**** the way she talks to me, and tells me how awesome this guy is.
She comes to get her stuff and denies she likes the guy as more than a friend, even though she drives 1.5 hours to where I am to hang out with him. The dude was about to go back to college as they started talking, and he goes to school over 3 hours from where she lives. She eventually calls me after treating me so poorly, and calls to complain about him and how she actually was trying to convince him to date her long distance. She gets shut down by him, and I passed it along to her dad because he didnt want that dude around who had knowingly gone behind his back. She and I obviously dont speak for weeks....i temporarily blocked her number and then later unblocked it..I assumed that was the end because she had already said we would never get back together and she didn't love me anymore.
5 weeks later I get a new phone after dropping mine when I was drunk the night before. I get the new phone and only one text came through...it was her. She had texted saying she was in town for a concert and wanted to see me. So I got that the day after on Sunday. She then went on to ask why I didnt respond to her text from 3 weeks prior, and then sent it to me. It was an essay...but basically said the wedding isnt off yet, I still love you, I lied to myself thinking I didn't love you but I've been holding onto your clothes because it feels like I still have a part of you, and I made the biggest mistake breaking up with you. I spend the night with her two nights in a row then, and obviously we hook up but she tells me she's having fun partying and that she doesnt want a boyfriend. Saying I make her feel safe but she doesnt want that right now. She wants that later. She said she somehow changed her mind from wanting to get re-engaged 3 weeks prior, to then not wanting to be together. She then goes back to saying a week later I don't love you, and don't miss you at all. and starts getting b****y again. I give it a week and call her because I was dying to see her, again she tells me how she doesnt care and doesnt want to see me. She could care less. At that point I just said dont talk to me unless its about us being together.
Two weeks go by and then she texts me out of the blue, sending me a picture of something that reminded her of me. She literally just said this reminds me of you. I said so are you texting to talk about us? she said no just thought of you. Then says you should give your girlfriend your full attention...she knew a few weeks prior I had just been on a date with another girl. But she knew she wasnt my girlfriend. I've done that before with other girls, but I think she was testing to purposely provoke a response that would state whether I was in a relationship with the other girl. I went on to state I'm not with that other girl. Then said again, not being mean, but don't text me unless it's about us. and she replied, saying oh okay.
I really want to get back together with her, and follow through with our plans of getting married. We've gone 15 days since she texted me, and I have made no contact with her. haven't tried contacting her at all. Staying tough, but it's not easy. When the f*** will she come back? How do I get her back?

youre a beta fukkin ******* bro.

wont neg, but i want to.

the chick literally left you for another dude that shut her down and youre willing to be her second option?

you are an inferior male and should move to reddit.

[Xiomn]

Coming up to almost 5 months since my ex broke up with me and she ain't back yet and she's been in 3 different relationships since breaking up with me already apparently. When I found out this i absolutely bursted out laughing.

Then again the reason she ain't back yet is because It was my first relationship and thus breakup and I went full out beta ******* begging to get her back and pushed her away to the point she threatened a restraining order. Last time I communicated with her was over 3 months ago now.

Lesson learned.

[RodSteamshaft]

It's been a long time since I've been on the misc. probably over 3 years. Me and the gf of 3 years broke up in August We lived with each other for 2 years, and I ****ed up. I use to read these threads all the time in the past and I always knew about NC ect thought I would be prepared, but I got caught with my head down. I was hanging out with her for the past month being a beta bitch while she was getting pumped by someother dude. She inisted we be friends and I always knew it wasnt going to work because of a situation like this would arise, I get attached again while shes banging tyrone. I found out yesterday, feels bad man but fuk her I'm on 100% NC from now on. She walked all over me. lying sloot. I even asked multiple times if there was another dude. I'm 110% done with her after she disrespected me like that.

I'm going to spend the next little bit improving myself. I gained about 30 pounds while with her so time to get back in shape. Best of luck to you other guys.

My long-term relationship ended for good back in April of this year. I read through this entire thread back then (took a few days to get through it all) and I bookmarked it at page 26, which is where the thread ended back in April. Before I share my story and thoughts, I want to say, Canucks: your story kind of bummed me out. Main reason being not just because your ex sucks but because you said you gained 30 pounds while with her and that hits close to home for me. I was there about 7 or 8 months ago. I was really overweight at the time of my break-up meanwhile she still had a bangin' body. I dropped a total of 33 pounds shortly after my break up though; believe me it was hard as hell and painful (both the break up and getting back in shape) but I felt like a million bucks nonetheless and began dating other chicks about 6 weeks after my relationship ended.

Me and my ex were actually together nearly 5 years and we were engaged about a year and a half of those 5 years. There was no huge fight, no cheating. We just drifted apart, our sex life declined and she landed a job kind of far away which made it even harder to keep the spark alive. I've been cheated on and ****ed over by other girls in the past (many of us have). I'm older now (mid 30's) and dating and relationships get better as we mature as long as you maintain self-worth, confidence and of course if you can be tolerant of women and their craziness. When I went back out and dated earlier this year I had no problem meeting girls but I definitely wasn't over my ex. I made the mistake of e-mailing her a couple of times to which I got no response and that within itself made me feel foolish. Long story short, in mid June I met a girl a few years younger than my ex who treats me great and things are going good. I took it slow and she didn't seem to mind and now we're a little more serious and to look back at where I was before emotionally to where I am now is refreshing. There was a point in time when I felt I could never get over my ex because I had seen a future with her as my wife. But time heals all. Lots of good advice/posts on this thread with regards to working on yourself and pushing forward rather than pining over your ex or trying to play mind games to get her to come back. It's so unhealthy to dwell on an ex. Why would you ever want someone back who either screwed you over or pretends you don't exist until she feels like it? It's not about pride or trying to 1-up the ex... it's about simply moving on and not looking back. Once it's over it's over. I admit I banged a different ex before a lot but I never had intentions of getting back together and it was kind of messed up on my part to lead her on. I do know some exes reconcile but this usually doesn't occur until many years have passed and even then it's a risky thing to do.

When it comes to exes coming back into your life and then actually wanting to work it out there are a number of factors. Circumstances of the break-up; was there a massive fight or cheating? Or was it just bad timing or one or both had to move away for school or work? Maturity level of the person also matters. Young people tend to not know what they want and that's just a big headache because they flip-flop. I miss being younger but I do not miss the dating scene back then. It's okay to be beta if you're young and inexperienced but PLEASE learn from it. Understand that women in general are simply not attracted to sad, needy, clingy men whether they're your ex or your current or potential g/f.

Take care, be strong and good luck, bros.

[WhiskeyRitalin]

Once you swallow the truth and realize that camaraderie is only true for males, you'll stop thinking about her...
Women get over Men by getting under another man...
It's doesn't matter how many girls I've been with since the ex (probably 20+ since splitting last January), I still think about her and other ex's....I literally remember, almost, every girl I've ever been with..
I honestly believe that women are incapable of thinking about people that aren't immediately 'in front of them'.
Don't contact...TRUST Me...
My ex kept in contact for the last year, because she needed "something"....and soon I asked for something and got no response, it completely re-affirmed my realization....
Keep moving man...Keep moving....
Dealing with another crazy ex, who's married and still helplessly infatuated with me even though I live on the other side of the country...ignore for 6 years....They will find you..

You hit the nail on the head - this is exactly how women work. 100% agree, women see men for their utility and nothing more. They think in terms of how we benefit them - and they are constantly weighing up their options (hypergamy) The average female is very solipsistic. Would anyone here beg to differ in experience? We can't all be wrong...

With women, we men initially base everything on looks. But the characteristics we should really look for are integrity and character (if a women can actually possess integrity of course - i'm not sure...)

To add to the topic, I went no contact on an old ex again after we hooked up like 9 months after our break up - complete nut job. Been 9 months since we hooked up now but she still texts me asking if i'm out etc. She Has another new bf in the honeymoon period and making out like everything's perfect. (i lost count now) But she's cheated before. So will probably cheat again.

To quote Bukowski. "I stopped looking for a dream girl - I just wanted one that wasn't a nightmare."

[BenD4Me]

pretty much. And no sense in wanting to be with someone who dumps you.

[Swizzard]

This is pathetic, you should NOT have helped her. Don't do it again. She's nothing to you now, you don't owe her anything. Move on.

ONLY respond to exes if they specifically say they want the dick or are on their knees begging for forgiveness. "Hey" or anything like that, you instantly delete.

When will you *******s learn... ughh... (shakes my head)

LOL my ex from like 3 years ago emailed me a earlier this month wishing me a happy belated birthday. I was confused at first but definitely no feels at all so i just disregarded it immediately. If she would've said something like "come over" "lets fuk" etc etc then maybe i would've entertained it.

[AlterBrah]

broke up with my BPD 3 days ago

Messy, argument filled ending but in the end it was me who walked.

Countdown clock begun immediately as to the recycle attempt. Unfortunatley i have to see her most days, and with me going into hardcore self improvement road it's only time before she starts trying to crawl back.

I give it 30 days, will be surprised if it's longer.

She gonna be back much sooner than that bruh.

Im 6 months out of my relationship with my bpd ex of 3 years. We ended in a fiery argument too, wasnt the first time breaking up, but it was the last time for me. After the argument she tried to apologize but i went NC.

Shes been calling/texting ever since but shes BPD and getting back together is pointless. These types of women are stuck in a loop of self destruction, and they tear down those closest to them in the process

[yghamel]

I don't think I should speak about too many details, so I'll keep it short.

I hooked up with a girl 3 years ago. We hit it off but she was demanding in bed and it caused me to "not perform." The next day we woke up and she had her kid there. We kept talking and seeing each other, doing "bonding" type things, like watching a nice view on Valentines or drinking a few beers by the beach or going for a hike in the woods. We hooked up two more times. The sex got better, but still, I didn't perform as well as I normally do, in fact not close to it at all. So she kept me around, building an emotional relationship, I met her whole family, I know all her secrets, but the relationship started to go down hill 2 years ago, when I failed to keep a promise of keeping a job and I failed to keep another personal promise.

She didn't do well without me, she tried seeing someone, didn't go well, and she got involved in a lot of bad stuff.

For me, I was very depressed for awhile, but I went to school and got a job.

After I graduated I contacted her. I started talking to her again. First time I saw her again I was in a suit. I started showing up, in an impressing manner. Every meeting we've had since has been amazing. We got close to being physical again, until I flipped out on stuff I found out, she had been up to. I kinda yelled at her for two months with her saying she was done with it. Then we started talking again, and again every meeting we had was amazing.

She's shown some serious signs thats she likes me; she's gotten jealous when her friend made a pass at me and stopped it, she's acted up against her parents in front of me with my instructions to do so, she told me she think's I'm cool, when I wasn't sending her tons of messages she started asking to see me, she's told me secrets I'm sure almost no one knows, the last time we had sex she insisted on missionary, she's posted things on ******** to get my attention when I'm not talking to her, she's so comfortable with me on a date she said hold on ill be right back I'm going to go change my tampon... Lots of reasons to think she cares in some way

This is my situation now...

I made a mistake a month ago. I sent her romantic gifts. She was very busy with work and couldn't see me, but when she got the gifts she started saying I want to see you, I want to see you. I offered to bring her food at work, which she flipped out about and then I made the mistake of asking if she had feelings... She's been screwed by her ex, she has commitment issues, she completely backed off...

I tried talking to her to calm her down, didn't work.... Pushed her more away, she added a lot of guys on ******** and started talking to them...

I tried no contact... She started posting stuff to get my attention, I caved, it went back to her seeking attention from other guys and partially ignoring my messages

The day before Christmas Eve... I told her I had enough... I told her it was done... That she would miss me and that I could say it was done but she couldn't look me in the eyes and say so... But I was not going to chase her anymore... I told her I knew she was ignoring me and talking to other guys... Or atleast I accused her of it... I said f8ck you a couple of times and then thats it...

The next morning she responded "calm down"

I said nothing

The next day after that she posted pictures with the caption "after being sick for a few days, it sure feels good to be able to go running again with my dog" (she knows thats an activity i used to love doing with my dog), she also posted something else that might of been related to me but I'm not sure

Then she posted nothing didn't add guys really didn't like guys photos just disappeared until the day after New Years... When she posted a pic of her kid playing with a ball...

Since then she hasn't posted anything and she hasn't really added anyone...

I haven't said anything to her, it's been two weeks...

I suspect she is talking to this guy that started hitting on her when we started fighting... In the beginning he never liked her pictures, but recently he's gone back and liked a lot of her pictures... And he's changed his profile pic in a way that makes me think he's trying to get attention... I don't know if they're talking f8cking seeing each other... There's no posts on her ******** or his... She's only liked one pic of his, one of him with his daughter... But I suspect they do talk often...

It's been two weeks... I kinda told her off... I never said Merry Christmas or Happy New Year... It looks like she tried to get my attention but she's not messaging... It looks like she's not going after other guys either though, but she could be having something with this new guy that appeared...

My question is, what do you think?

Do you think she'll message me? Come back...

Before we started fighting, I sent her three pics, of different days, and each one she said I remember that day... We have a lot of history... She has said we're friends, even though we had sex, I think it's a commitment issue and the fact that I had anxiety around her and didn't perform... I've fixed that, I sent her pictures of girls saying I'm the best in bed they've ever had, to prove the problem is fixed...

The one thing I should mention, is this girl suffers from severe mental illness, so do I, she did something horrible in her past and she has a lot of secrets... She might f8ck guys and maybe try to get into a relationship... But she knows that a lot of people are gonna run if they know her secrets, and she knows I know them and I still love her...

So... Do you think I should keep up the no contact?

[cbates79]

I don't think I should speak about too many details, so I'll keep it short.

I hooked up with a girl 3 years ago. We hit it off but she was demanding in bed and it caused me to "not perform." The next day we woke up and she had her kid there. We kept talking and seeing each other, doing "bonding" type things, like watching a nice view on Valentines or drinking a few beers by the beach or going for a hike in the woods. We hooked up two more times. The sex got better, but still, I didn't perform as well as I normally do, in fact not close to it at all. So she kept me around, building an emotional relationship, I met her whole family, I know all her secrets, but the relationship started to go down hill 2 years ago, when I failed to keep a promise of keeping a job and I failed to keep another personal promise.

She didn't do well without me, she tried seeing someone, didn't go well, and she got involved in a lot of bad stuff.

For me, I was very depressed for awhile, but I went to school and got a job.

After I graduated I contacted her. I started talking to her again. First time I saw her again I was in a suit. I started showing up, in an impressing manner. Every meeting we've had since has been amazing. We got close to being physical again, until I flipped out on stuff I found out, she had been up to. I kinda yelled at her for two months with her saying she was done with it. Then we started talking again, and again every meeting we had was amazing.

She's shown some serious signs thats she likes me; she's gotten jealous when her friend made a pass at me and stopped it, she's acted up against her parents in front of me with my instructions to do so, she told me she think's I'm cool, when I wasn't sending her tons of messages she started asking to see me, she's told me secrets I'm sure almost no one knows, the last time we had sex she insisted on missionary, she's posted things on ******** to get my attention when I'm not talking to her, she's so comfortable with me on a date she said hold on ill be right back I'm going to go change my tampon... Lots of reasons to think she cares in some way

This is my situation now...

I made a mistake a month ago. I sent her romantic gifts. She was very busy with work and couldn't see me, but when she got the gifts she started saying I want to see you, I want to see you. I offered to bring her food at work, which she flipped out about and then I made the mistake of asking if she had feelings... She's been screwed by her ex, she has commitment issues, she completely backed off...

I tried talking to her to calm her down, didn't work.... Pushed her more away, she added a lot of guys on ******** and started talking to them...

I tried no contact... She started posting stuff to get my attention, I caved, it went back to her seeking attention from other guys and partially ignoring my messages

The day before Christmas Eve... I told her I had enough... I told her it was done... That she would miss me and that I could say it was done but she couldn't look me in the eyes and say so... But I was not going to chase her anymore... I told her I knew she was ignoring me and talking to other guys... Or atleast I accused her of it... I said f8ck you a couple of times and then thats it...

The next morning she responded "calm down"

I said nothing

The next day after that she posted pictures with the caption "after being sick for a few days, it sure feels good to be able to go running again with my dog" (she knows thats an activity i used to love doing with my dog), she also posted something else that might of been related to me but I'm not sure

Then she posted nothing didn't add guys really didn't like guys photos just disappeared until the day after New Years... When she posted a pic of her kid playing with a ball...

Since then she hasn't posted anything and she hasn't really added anyone...

I haven't said anything to her, it's been two weeks...

I suspect she is talking to this guy that started hitting on her when we started fighting... In the beginning he never liked her pictures, but recently he's gone back and liked a lot of her pictures... And he's changed his profile pic in a way that makes me think he's trying to get attention... I don't know if they're talking f8cking seeing each other... There's no posts on her ******** or his... She's only liked one pic of his, one of him with his daughter... But I suspect they do talk often...

It's been two weeks... I kinda told her off... I never said Merry Christmas or Happy New Year... It looks like she tried to get my attention but she's not messaging... It looks like she's not going after other guys either though, but she could be having something with this new guy that appeared...

My question is, what do you think?

Do you think she'll message me? Come back...

Before we started fighting, I sent her three pics, of different days, and each one she said I remember that day... We have a lot of history... She has said we're friends, even though we had sex, I think it's a commitment issue and the fact that I had anxiety around her and didn't perform... I've fixed that, I sent her pictures of girls saying I'm the best in bed they've ever had, to prove the problem is fixed...

The one thing I should mention, is this girl suffers from severe mental illness, so do I, she did something horrible in her past and she has a lot of secrets... She might f8ck guys and maybe try to get into a relationship... But she knows that a lot of people are gonna run if they know her secrets, and she knows I know them and I still love her...

So... Do you think I should keep up the no contact?

Man, you're 34 years old. You shouldn't have to deal with all that drama at your age, unless you like dysfunctional relationships. Reading all that made me hate the chick, and I've never met her. Move on. I know you have history with her, but I don't see this EVER ending well with her. I wouldn't even keep her around as f*ck buddy. Cut ties completely and look for someone that isn't going to eventually screw you over.

[yghamel]

I know she's bad. She's done some horrible things. She's toyed with my emotions and generally I do not do very well, most of time, when I'm in contact with her; I partially accept that.

There's a problem though.

I've slept with many women. Many. And I felt something different with her. Not lust. Even though the sex was not my greatest, it was the closeness.

We share the same beliefs and we have similar backgrounds; including mental illness.

She also happens to be my type physically, and I am a notorious cheater and I probably would cheat, but I might not on her.

Because as f8cked up as she is, I'm some how attracted in a love sick Basic Instinct type of way; I'm a bad ass cop with drug problems, from living life on the edge, with almost no one that can accept my lifestyle or beliefs, and she's a psychopath, that finds me interesting and unique. She could honestly one day snap and kill me in my sleep.

Can you understand the attraction?

So are you saying she's so messed up that she's not gonna message and try to rekindle something?

Because I fixed my anxiety around sex; all I need is one night with this psychopath, and I won't have any more problems.

You can't help who you love.

Man, you're 34 years old. You shouldn't have to deal with all that drama at your age, unless you like dysfunctional relationships. Reading all that made me hate the chick, and I've never met her. Move on. I know you have history with her, but I don't see this EVER ending well with her. I wouldn't even keep her around as f*ck buddy. Cut ties completely and look for someone that isn't going to eventually screw you over.