Most militant/annoying/smug dietary faction?

[csb5731]

Since the day I started reading and learning from these forums, I’ve observed proponents of various different dietary “factions” pop in and spew their propaganda all over the place - it was confusing as all hell. The more smug and insistent that they were, the more I figured they must be right. Offenders included militant clean-eaters (HFCS - Metabolic Poison!!), vegetarians/vegans (hormones in meat, saturated fats, etc), “Bros” (harping on meal frequency and whatever), the ancestral diet/paleo crowd (OMG-Grains! Milk!), the staunch low-carb/keto folk (carbs = THE DEVIL), and more. I think the most recent faction to pop up is largely in reaction to the nonsense a lot of the other groups like to put forth, but they are becoming no less annoying and confusing to those who are “new”, in their insistence that their way is the only/right way.

I used to think that it was the extreme anti-carbers that were the scariest, then the Paleo folk kind of upstaged them. Anymore, I'm not so sure.
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Some research on this newest faction:

Excerpt from the 2010 CIA Fact Book on Extremist Dietary Factions:

The Militant Bro-Fighters (MBF)
Also known as: “Goofballs”, “Flabbies”
Origins
Militant Bro-Fighters, or MBF, are an extremist offshoot of the benevolent Order of Truth-Seekers (“The Order”). The founders of The Order originally sought to correct common misconceptions in regards to the effects of diet and exercise on body composition and physical performance. Practitioners used theoretical science, experimental data, and logical argument to justify their beliefs, often putting them at odds with The Brotherhood (who preach the more antiquated “Broscience”) and some other dietary factions. Many - typically younger - members of The Order seemed to derive purpose in the conflict, and soon found that a constructive and logic-based approach was no longer adequate to stem the advance of Broscience. These extremists decided that a jihad-like movement was needed to stop anything that they personally perceived to be Broscience. Subsequently, the MBF was founded.
Allegiances
The MBF claims to be allied with the Order of the Truth-Seekers. Leaders of The Order deny any such connection and often appear to be embarrassed by suspected ties to the MBF. Occasionally allied with the League of Intermittent Fasters (LIF), if only because of the fact that LIF members occasionally enjoy suitably “dirty” meals.
Enemies
The Brotherhood, all Clean-Eaters, all Low-Carb Extremist Groups, Practitioners of the Holy Ancestral Diet, Militant Vegetarians/Vegans, etc.
Identification
-Physical identification of MBF members is often difficult. Militant Bro-Fighters are required by doctrine to spend at least 4 hours per day actively fighting Broscience on the internet, and once that requirement is fulfilled practitioners tend to utilize an additional six to eight hours for playing MMORPG’s. They are rarely found outside of the classroom, their parent’s house, or Taco Bell, and are almost never encountered at the gym. MBF are suspected to be pale and tend towards flabbiness.
-Online, identification is much simpler: MBF typically use “memish” words such as “insulinz”, “proteinz”, “catabolismz” and such in their invariably derogatory attacks. (Note: The origin of the MBF affinity towards the letter Z is not known by this investigator.) MBF members also use the term “Broscience!” with extreme frequency, much in the same fashion that Islamic extremists use “Infidel!”.
-MBF can generally be distinguished from members of the Order of Truth Seekers by the militant content of their posts, the lack of the ability to accept context or present a coherent argument, and eagerness to assume that another poster is a “Bro” if that person admits to eating mostly “clean”, or to eating more than three times daily.
-A typical MBF post reads something like this: “Your [sic] such a Broscientist, eating those f&*king disgusting oats and eggs for breakfast. My delicious bacon-wrapped Hostess Ho-Ho’s have the same macros! You scared of an insulinz [sic] spike, Brah?”
Ideology
Members of the MBF aren’t united in their beliefs, nor do they have a consensus as to what Broscience is. They invariably agree that if a one should elect to consume something that a seven year-old would deem less palatable than a stuffed-crust pepperoni pizza and Gummy Bears, then that person MUST be a practitioner of Broscience and needs to be converted, or “eliminated” via humiliation.
Recommendations
It is this investigator’s opinion that the Scorched Earth policy be approved for use when dealing with the MBF.

[MrMcCarthy]

What the... I don't even...

[ZenBrah]

im 12?

[BookMonkey]

Is this some sort of D&D game? If so, count me out. My level 5 rogue died when I was in junior high and I intend to keep it that way.

[RealMenDeadLift]

The fact that you took time to write this(and quite eloquently I might add) deserves you a beer, after a few minutes of laughing at you.

[KublaiKhan]

[snip]

I resemble those remarks. Should I be ashamed?

[kusok]

Paleotards take the cake.

Their "logic" and posts make me double facepalm.

When I read paleotards' posts like "Humans were not intended to eat {insert food here that a paleotard has an individual dislike or intolerance for}" I feel a strange mixture of hate, sadness and pity.

[Holyspokes]

I thought it was pretty damn good

[determined4000]

How about the RDA?

[desslok]

Well I guess by definition the Warriors would be most militant? However if it was MMORPG World of Brocraft, I'm not sure which faction I would go with.