Why you should stop chasing women

[aintdatabitch]

Man some of these virgins coming onto this thread trying to spout advice like I copy pasted this or guys already knew this is pretty damn stupid.

Obviously anything can be broken down quite simply into three lines but to digest it in depth reading this through gets them into the mindset that 3 lines cannot do. So, stop being retards and go make your own threads.

For the guy who pulled out Schopenhauer's essay as reference, you are one dumb virgin. Why? As far as I know Schopenhauer was a lonely recluse who mentally masturbated on his philosophy. He died alone with no one to even love, so I refuse to accept someone who might be an intellectual give me evidence of what I've seen and experienced myself, along with many guys who have had success with women.

[NewMindstate]

I definitely agree that by NATURE, men lead and women follow...they want a guy who will take charge and lead.

But the media has made way for social conditioning to take over as well...so now men are convinced they need all sorts of tactics to get women (like money and fame, or good looks or an interesting job) and on a superficial women, a lot of women buy into this too.

Like with me, I'm very insecure about my looks and this has pretty much held me back from dating. But any time I've truly felt carefree and didn't give a ****, and have taken charge (like touching/putting my arm around a girl or even playully grabbing the ass of a girl who I've been talking to and flirting with) I've gotten good results and found they're actually receptive to me. Its just hard to stay in that mindset because theres so much bull**** out there to convince you as a man you can't appeal to women unless you "have x and y." Thats why I honestly feel like looks are so important. Any man that has them (including you OP) will naturally feel the sense of entitlement that is so important in getting women...so even if it isn't the looks themselves, its the feeling of security that comes with it that ends up being such an asset.

[aintdatabitch]

I definitely agree that by NATURE, men lead and women follow...they want a guy who will take charge and lead.

But the media has made way for social conditioning to take over as well...so now men are convinced they need all sorts of tactics to get women (like money and fame, or good looks or an interesting job) and on a superficial women, a lot of women buy into this too.

Like with me, I'm very insecure about my looks and this has pretty much held me back from dating. But any time I've truly felt carefree and didn't give a ****, and have taken charge (like touching/putting my arm around a girl or even playully grabbing the ass of a girl who I've been talking to and flirting with) I've gotten good results and found they're actually receptive to me. Its just hard to stay in that mindset because theres so much bull**** out there to convince you as a man you can't appeal to women unless you "have x and y." Thats why I honestly feel like looks are so important. Any man that has them (including you OP) will naturally feel the sense of entitlement that is so important in getting women...so even if it isn't the looks themselves, its the feeling of security that comes with it that ends up being such an asset.

You hit the nail on the head.

It goes back to mindset. You've got to feel like you're great, but having the looks can validate it.

I'm not going to get into a long winded argument about some stupid crap about looks here. If you've got them, of course it's going to be easier but if you don't have them the only thing holding you back is yourself. That's right, your goddamn self, nobody else and if you want to use that as a crutch and excuse then very damn well you should die without a virgin and your dick in your hand.

This isn't about us vs them, men vs women, it's about being on the same team. They want to fight along us, but when we monopolize and show them that they have no role other than their looks of course it FEELS useless. It's like I recruit you to the best company in the world just to be the janitor. You don't care if it's a great company but if it has no impact, and even if you get paid $1,000,000 you'll soon feel useless and want to quit. The feeling of fulfillment is EXTREMELY important and women want to feel that by impressing US.

[marcFE]

You hit the nail on the head.

It goes back to mindset. You've got to feel like you're great, but having the looks can validate it.

I'm not going to get into a long winded argument about some stupid crap about looks here. If you've got them, of course it's going to be easier but if you don't have them the only thing holding you back is yourself. That's right, your goddamn self, nobody else and if you want to use that as a crutch and excuse then very damn well you should die without a virgin and your dick in your hand.

This isn't about us vs them, men vs women, it's about being on the same team. They want to fight along us, but when we monopolize and show them that they have no role other than their looks of course it FEELS useless. It's like I recruit you to the best company in the world just to be the janitor. You don't care if it's a great company but if it has no impact, and even if you get paid $1,000,000 you'll soon feel useless and want to quit. The feeling of fulfillment is EXTREMELY important and women want to feel that by impressing US.

I have read a bunch of your threads/posts over the last few weeks and you are one of the few miscers who strikes me as straight up alpha. Always solid threads but I have one question, what are some questions you like asking to make girls think of you as different or special (like the creativity one in your OP). No e-stats but I'm in about the same league as you for looks and am very good at approaching/keeping a mindset/avoiding negative attention in a social setting but I truthfully feel like I put too much effort into keeping conversations with girls going and am always the one doing the chasing which I feel gives them the sense of entitlement you have been touching on.


I'm honestly at the point where I feel like the more I open my mouth the more girls I lose and have been trying to mellow it out to seem less interested which has made it harder for me to keep conversations going especially after I analyzed a lot of conversations I have and tend to talk about myself way more than I should. I'm at the point of being able to pick up a girl any given night of the weekend but I feel like that has more to do with alcohol + me being attractive + having no approach anxiety and less to do with my actual game which I feel I need to solidify to ever keep girls coming back. Any questions in particular you feel have successfully worked for you for making girls feel a deeper connection?

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Men have always been the ones to chase, to woo, to court a woman. You're trying to change nature and the order of things. If you change the natural roles and expect women to do the chasing, you can't then complain when they try to take on the "dominant" role in the relationship. You've given them that role by essentially giving them your job. I keep hearing about relationships being power struggles, and this is probably why.

Edit: 10,000th post, and it's women's logic, and everyone'll probably disagree ...

[DERJEVPOO]

Men have always been the ones to chase, to woo, to court a woman. You're trying to change nature and the order of things. If you change the natural roles and expect women to do the chasing, you can't then complain when they try to take on the "dominant" role in the relationship. You've given them that role by essentially giving them your job. I keep hearing about relationships being power struggles, and this is probably why.

Edit: 10,000th post, and it's women's logic, and everyone'll probably disagree ...

Women and logic? Who you trying to fool?

[aintdatabitch]

Why should any man listen to some 42 year old woman?

Seriously, women who get to this age are more masculine now and no longer have their femininity. I'm not going to say it as general but in this specific case it appears pretty obvious to me that she's dying for attention since she's no longer beautiful anymore. It's time to leave bitter woman, and no I don't hate women.

marcFE, I'll address your point through PM instead when I have the time. But, it shouldn't be too hard to tweak that last bit and you'll really be the ladies man you were meant to be. Generally, it's some deep seeded insecurity about not being honest with yourself: honest with your sexual energy and feeling comfortable with it. But, I'll address more of it through PM.

[twinpeaks55]

Men have always been the ones to chase, to woo, to court a woman. You're trying to change nature and the order of things. If you change the natural roles and expect women to do the chasing, you can't then complain when they try to take on the "dominant" role in the relationship. You've given them that role by essentially giving them your job. I keep hearing about relationships being power struggles, and this is probably why.

Edit: 10,000th post, and it's women's logic, and everyone'll probably disagree ...

These days, in our younger generation, men will find that ignoring a girl works much better than chasing and trying to "woo" her.

[aintdatabitch]

What kind of man "woos" or "courts" a woman nowadays? Is this woman serious?

[NOVA888]

Women are seeking validation since their childhood. Growing up she wanted to impress her dad and show how much of a princess she was. Yet, when she grows up she is being pursued and followed without letting her inner creativity work, especially when she has worked so hard all those years to get attention.

If you do not find these traits true for a woman then you'll always be lacking:
-Women LOVE attention (attention whores), that's fine, LET HER HAVE IT, goddamnit.
-Women LOVE when you compliment their sense of CREATIVITY (I challenge you to say to a woman: you're so creative but you don't get to express that often. She'll LOVE YOU for RECOGNIZING)
-Women LOVE to impress. Where do you think DRESS to IMPRESS came from? Do you seriously a man who is in jeans and a dress shirt is dressing to impress, when it takes him all 10 minutes in the shower to wash up, put on a clean pair of underpants, smell good, jeans and the dress shirt in under 20 minutes, if that? How long does a woman spend on her FACE, just her FACE to go out?

May truth be told, you've nailed a great deal of our core desires. But you are aware that far too many women aren't even aware of this themselves? We prefer to think we're rare, amazing creatures, one of a kind--and that when a man loves us, he loves us for who we are--that unique, amazing individual. LOL!

I learned a great deal about my own female nature by reading some extremely controversial material--books like 'Pimp' by Iceberg Slim, or a HTF classic entitled 'Gentleman of Leisure.' Now I'm not implying that 'pimps' know how to treat women, nor do I condone that men should physically or verbally maltreat women. However, there is a means of breaking into a woman's psyche on a visceral level. And it most certainly requires study, a comprehension of history, and an understanding of 'true' gender dynamics, as opposed to the 'fail' known as feminist doctrine.

Kudos to you!

[aintdatabitch]

May truth be told, you've nailed a great deal of our core desires. But you are aware that far too many women aren't even aware of this themselves? We prefer to think we're rare, amazing creatures, one of a kind--and that when a man loves us, he loves us for who we are--that unique, amazing individual. LOL!

I learned a great deal about my own female nature by reading some extremely controversial material--books like 'Pimp' by Iceberg Slim, or a HTF classic entitled 'Gentleman of Leisure.' Now I'm not implying that 'pimps' know how to treat women, nor do I condone that men should physically or verbally maltreat women. However, there is a means of breaking into a woman's psyche on a visceral level. And it most certainly requires study, a comprehension of history, and an understanding of 'true' gender dynamics, as opposed to the 'fail' known as feminist doctrine.

Kudos to you!

I haven't read that book, but I'll pick it up.

You seem like one of the few women who are conscious of these traits about yourself as woman, but you've been well read on your own psychology. I applaud that.

I had some more to say to confirm what you said but it didn't come out making sense so I deleted it. Either way, feminist doctrine will lead man to unhappiness but when he realizes the true freedom he possesses to own and conquer this world, he'll soon realize its a lot easier than all the extra efforts he is making. But it first takes a man to have balls and be real men again instead of these sissy that need to chase and plead with women.

[Swede3215]

I have read a bunch of your threads/posts over the last few weeks and you are one of the few miscers who strikes me as straight up alpha. Always solid threads but I have one question, what are some questions you like asking to make girls think of you as different or special (like the creativity one in your OP). No e-stats but I'm in about the same league as you for looks and am very good at approaching/keeping a mindset/avoiding negative attention in a social setting but I truthfully feel like I put too much effort into keeping conversations with girls going and am always the one doing the chasing which I feel gives them the sense of entitlement you have been touching on.


I'm honestly at the point where I feel like the more I open my mouth the more girls I lose and have been trying to mellow it out to seem less interested which has made it harder for me to keep conversations going especially after I analyzed a lot of conversations I have and tend to talk about myself way more than I should. I'm at the point of being able to pick up a girl any given night of the weekend but I feel like that has more to do with alcohol + me being attractive + having no approach anxiety and less to do with my actual game which I feel I need to solidify to ever keep girls coming back. Any questions in particular you feel have successfully worked for you for making girls feel a deeper connection?

This. Back in high school and the beginning of college I didn't have a clue about how to get a girl, I used to take their word for it when they said they wanted a nice guy, have oneitis, etc. etc. Success with girls was far enough in between that I just didn't want to lose what success I had. I have gotten to the point now where I am not a doormat by any means and can pick up a girl when I go out.

However I have a hard time getting to the point where they WANT to impress me. I've found that if I pull away from them to see if they come back to me, many times they don't. But if I come back to them they do seem to like it. This is where my hang up (along with countless others I'm sure) is. How to I guide interaction to the point where they feel like they are on the hot seat and don't want to risk losing me?

[NYY]

Why should any man listen to some 42 year old woman?

Seriously, women who get to this age are more masculine now and no longer have their femininity. I'm not going to say it as general but in this specific case it appears pretty obvious to me that she's dying for attention since she's no longer beautiful anymore. It's time to leave bitter woman, and no I don't hate women.

marcFE, I'll address your point through
PM instead when I have the time. But, it
shouldn't be too hard to tweak that last
bit and you'll really be the ladies man
you were meant to be. Generally, it's
some deep seeded insecurity about not
being honest with yourself: honest with
your sexual energy and feeling
comfortable with it. But, I'll address
more of it through PM.

I have the same exact problem as Marc could you send me a copy of the pm that goes more into that?

[aintdatabitch]

This. Back in high school and the beginning of college I didn't have a clue about how to get a girl, I used to take their word for it when they said they wanted a nice guy, have oneitis, etc. etc. Success with girls was far enough in between that I just didn't want to lose what success I had. I have gotten to the point now where I am not a doormat by any means and can pick up a girl when I go out.

However I have a hard time getting to the point where they WANT to impress me. I've found that if I pull away from them to see if they come back to me, many times they don't. But if I come back to them they do seem to like it. This is where my hang up (along with countless others I'm sure) is. How to I guide interaction to the point where they feel like they are on the hot seat and don't want to risk losing me?

You guys are not getting it.

It's not about pulling back and seeing her step towards you physically to gain back the interaction. If, that's you way of seeing whether a girl is impressing you then you don't have the mindset and its time to go back to freshman year at Ladies Man College. You failed.

Girls do VERY subtle thing to let you know she's trying to impress you. They also do very not so subtle things. Just look at the way she moves her body, and the way she is saying something. She wants you to notice and take a sincere interest in what she is trying to say, then feed it back to her and encourage her along.

Does she sound friendly? Try telling a woman she has a GREAT ENERGY about her. Watch her melt as you say something like that and look into her eyes. She's been practicing this friendliness all of her life to impress YOU.

Does she know some philosophy? Tell her her intellectual charm is putting a SPELL on you. Watch her melt as you say something like that and look into her eyes.

Encourage her to continue along these lines, she wants to show it off to you. She wants to show you how friendly she is, how smart she is, and how great of a woman she is. She doesn't care about who YOU ARE, so as long as you RECOGNIZE who SHE is. It speaks VOLUMES if a man can SEE A WOMAN FOR WHO SHE REALLY IS, even if she isn't ANY different from the next woman.

[xvicknumber7x]

Threads like these are enlightening and frustrating at the same time. Should it really be this hard to attract a ****in' female? Seriously... it makes you wanna give up.

[aintdatabitch]

It's really not that difficult.

It sounds like it in theory but if you could watch a ladies man in an interaction with a woman you'll see him do VERY little. But, that very little he does is EVERYTHING.

[xvicknumber7x]

It's really not that difficult.

It sounds like it in theory but if you could watch a ladies man in an interaction with a woman you'll see him do VERY little. But, that very little he does is EVERYTHING.

It isn't that difficult but it could be a lot easier. How hard is it to go up to someone and have a normal conversation and ask them out if it feels right? Why does all this **** have to go into it? I just think that information like this is pretty inappropriate because more than half the people in this forum can't hold a normal conversation with a girl they are interested in anyway. Why give them all this **** to worry about?

I mean guys with experience and without approach anxiety/social shortcomings will really appreciate this thread (myself included) but it just seems out of place in this venue because of the massive amount of social inability present.

[NOVA888]

I haven't read that book, but I'll pick it up.

Quick disclaimer: these are extremely controversial books, with a primary focus on 'gangsta,' 'pimping,' 'maltreatment,' and all 'that.' However, if you read between the lines (something I think will come easy for you), there is an entire subtext there, and it's fascinating. Successful pimps do know something about male/female dynamics, mainly because it's their bread and butter.

One the other hand, a doofus would read these books and think it's about smacking women, or gesturing/posturing to 'appear' like an alpha male. This is not the case, as alphaness/masculinity is in some ways a skill. One that's not simply not acquired by birthright, but bestowed to those who have learned, and then earned the title. Same with females, being born with a vagina does not make all women equal, nor are all women 'alpha women,' or even feminine for that matter.

[DocHol1day]

alright try your hand at this one.

met a girl last night. easy 9/10 and easily the hottest girl at the party. so im just bsin with the 4/10 old friend from highschool who invited me and having alot of fun, mean while this girl is checkin me out more and more. interjecting into conversations i'm having, laughing at everything i say, etc. so i give a little more attention to her as she has not expressed an interest in me. i tease her and flirt a bit, then engage the group and ignore her a bit, and so on. by the time she leaves shes pudding. tells me to FB her, i just kinda nod and away she goes. a few minutes later i get friended by her, then "poked". about 5 minutes later i get a text from her (we never swapped numbers, she got it from my friend).

her: hey whats up with you? this is tracy btw!
me: still chillin and drinkin u wanna kick it later

and nothing. aint her **** all day. just got home and the "poke" was gone. i didnt remove it so she must have. i'm loling at this but i'd like to understand the psych behind it. only thing i can rationalize is she felt she made her interest too obvious too soon but idk....

[CrazyVolodymyr]

Yup.

It's so obvious when people try too hard; girls pick up on this really easily.

Guess that's why confidence is so important.

[Amb11]

alright try your hand at this one.

met a girl last night. easy 9/10 and easily the hottest girl at the party. so im just bsin with the 4/10 old friend from highschool who invited me and having alot of fun, mean while this girl is checkin me out more and more. interjecting into conversations i'm having, laughing at everything i say, etc. so i give a little more attention to her as she has not expressed an interest in me. i tease her and flirt a bit, then engage the group and ignore her a bit, and so on. by the time she leaves shes pudding. tells me to FB her, i just kinda nod and away she goes. a few minutes later i get friended by her, then "poked". about 5 minutes later i get a text from her (we never swapped numbers, she got it from my friend).

her: hey whats up with you? this is tracy btw!
me: still chillin and drinkin u wanna kick it later

and nothing. aint her **** all day. just got home and the "poke" was gone. i didnt remove it so she must have. i'm loling at this but i'd like to understand the psych behind it. only thing i can rationalize is she felt she made her interest too obvious too soon but idk....

Imo you were golden up until your text. She was probably baffled as to why you were paying her no mind and not treating her like a 9/10 like probably every other guy she's met does.

Then when you let her know your intentions really quick, she backed off because either 1) She knew she had you and didn't have to play the game anymore or 2) She just didn't want to h/u that night.

[aintdatabitch]

alright try your hand at this one.

met a girl last night. easy 9/10 and easily the hottest girl at the party. so im just bsin with the 4/10 old friend from highschool who invited me and having alot of fun, mean while this girl is checkin me out more and more. interjecting into conversations i'm having, laughing at everything i say, etc. so i give a little more attention to her as she has not expressed an interest in me. i tease her and flirt a bit, then engage the group and ignore her a bit, and so on. by the time she leaves shes pudding. tells me to FB her, i just kinda nod and away she goes. a few minutes later i get friended by her, then "poked". about 5 minutes later i get a text from her (we never swapped numbers, she got it from my friend).

her: hey whats up with you? this is tracy btw!
me: still chillin and drinkin u wanna kick it later

and nothing. aint her **** all day. just got home and the "poke" was gone. i didnt remove it so she must have. i'm loling at this but i'd like to understand the psych behind it. only thing i can rationalize is she felt she made her interest too obvious too soon but idk....

Easy.

Look at all the things you said about yourself. You're rather egotistical and like to be the center of the party. She didn't feel like she was anything special, because like most guys you were there to impress yourself. You didn't even allow her to impress you, make a lasting impression so she could go home and feel good about herself. It's about her, not you dummy.

Also, women's emotions change. Any emotions that didn't make her feel something powerful, love, hate, happiness, excitement, or sadness usually goes into the backburner. You've got to make her feel powerful emotions for her to wake up the next day and wonder about you. You didn't sound any different from all the other guys out there, except perhaps you were a little more confident and outgoing. That isn't anything special, that will get you laid if you build the momentum and take them home that same night. But, let them leave and wake up the next day, you won't even be on her mind.

[CrazyVolodymyr]

alright try your hand at this one.

met a girl last night. easy 9/10 and easily the hottest girl at the party. so im just bsin with the 4/10 old friend from highschool who invited me and having alot of fun, mean while this girl is checkin me out more and more. interjecting into conversations i'm having, laughing at everything i say, etc. so i give a little more attention to her as she has not expressed an interest in me. i tease her and flirt a bit, then engage the group and ignore her a bit, and so on. by the time she leaves shes pudding. tells me to FB her, i just kinda nod and away she goes. a few minutes later i get friended by her, then "poked". about 5 minutes later i get a text from her (we never swapped numbers, she got it from my friend).

her: hey whats up with you? this is tracy btw!
me: still chillin and drinkin u wanna kick it later

and nothing. aint her **** all day. just got home and the "poke" was gone. i didnt remove it so she must have. i'm loling at this but i'd like to understand the psych behind it. only thing i can rationalize is she felt she made her interest too obvious too soon but idk....

Hmmmmmmmm

I'm guessing that she kinda awkwarded herself out you know?

She's gotta feel right about everything and feel comfortable; usually men f this up by being awkward and/or "creepy" but once in a blue moon girls kinda feel wierded out due to their own actions.....it makes no logical sense but cmon its women lol its all about how they feel

This is a great problem to have LOL

[aintdatabitch]

Let me also add.

You didn't say anything about her that made you impressed. You didn't talk about how she had a great energy or vibe about her. You only mentioned that she was a 9/10, and of course you kicked into trying to impress her mode. It's nice, it's somewhat different if you are better than most guys. Seems like you can do it better than most guys and you even got her to text you. But, definitely nothing unique.

Why didn't you just stand back, let her talk, impress you, flirt with you and bait you into invest? Instead, you played the dancing monkey even if you were walking away and playing it cool. Once you learn the art, it's a lot more fluid and easy than you think.

[DocHol1day]

Easy.

Look at all the things you said about yourself. You're rather egotistical and like to be the center of the party. She didn't feel like she was anything special, because like most guys you were there to impress yourself. You didn't even allow her to impress you, make a lasting impression so she could go home and feel good about herself. It's about her, not you dummy.

Also, women's emotions change. Any emotions that didn't make her feel something powerful, love, hate, happiness, excitement, or sadness usually goes into the backburner. You've got to make her feel powerful emotions for her to wake up the next day and wonder about you. You didn't sound any different from all the other guys out there, except perhaps you were a little more confident and outgoing. That isn't anything special, that will get you laid if you build the momentum and take them home that same night. But, let them leave and wake up the next day, you won't even be on her mind.

well i left alot of the dialouge out. i was teasing her alot, and then letting her talk about things that are important to her and just listening. i know how to game fairly well imo. its just the really hot ones i tend to fail with for anything other than a one night stand, and for the life of me i cant figure out why.

but i'm definately the center of attention at most parties, but usually women love that and get on my jock for it. she seemed no different but i guess i didnt make a lasting enough impression.

oh well, she wont hear from me again.

oh and i just found out you cant un send a "poke" so i mustve cleared it when i was drunk.

[DocHol1day]

Let me also add.

You didn't say anything about her that made you impressed. You didn't talk about how she had a great energy or vibe about her. You only mentioned that she was a 9/10, and of course you kicked into trying to impress her mode. It's nice, it's somewhat different if you are better than most guys. Seems like you can do it better than most guys and you even got her to text you. But, definitely nothing unique.

Why didn't you just stand back, let her talk, impress you, flirt with you and bait you into invest? Instead, you played the dancing monkey even if you were walking away and playing it cool. Once you learn the art, it's a lot more fluid and easy than you think.

nothing about her particularly impressed me. she seemed like a classless party girl. she talked with a forced white girl ebonics just because we were at a party with alot of black people. i'm not rascist in the slightest but i found that unattractive. she also smoked weed with them which i also find unattractive. didnt strike me as gf material in the slightest, shes just hot and i wanted a bang or two

trust me though i didnt try to impress her in the slightest. i just carried on a normal convo, plus a little teasing.

[aintdatabitch]

well i left alot of the dialouge out. i was teasing her alot, and then letting her talk about things that are important to her and just listening. i know how to game fairly well imo. its just the really hot ones i tend to fail with for anything other than a one night stand, and for the life of me i cant figure out why.

but i'm definately the center of attention at most parties, but usually women love that and get on my jock for it. she seemed no different but i guess i didnt make a lasting enough impression.

oh well, she wont hear from me again.

oh and i just found out you cant un send a "poke" so i mustve cleared it when i was drunk.

Well, there you go. If you pull them that same night back to your place then your money.

But to be a guy who she misses and remembers for years down the line, or the kind of guy she talks to her girlfriends about you've got to be a little bit more than the center of attention. It isn't hard, usually the person loudest and without social objection is the center of the party. But, those people are ego based and usually don't land the 9/10.

Try taking a sincere interest in her hobbies and feel for her vibe. Let her talk about herself massively and create a place in her heart that way. She wants to feel as if she can project into the future with you. Center of the party she sees one night, and one night only.

[b0ngman]

i think i get what you are saying OP... just confusing

I feel like you are trying to say appreciate women and whatever qualities they are making apparent... establising rapport and a connection... my one friend that I would say is best with women is always the one to give the subtle compliements and always establishes rapport and then lets them do the chasing

as opposed to boasting about yourself in a conversation

making it about them and not at all about you... you are there merely to stand in awe at their feminity because you gotta make it appear that you just LOVE females so much on the deepest level...

seduction is very selfless and the focus should always be on the other person... the second you start becoming self-concious... its all but over

[aintdatabitch]

i think i get what you are saying OP... just confusing

I feel like you are trying to say appreciate women and whatever qualities they are making apparent... establising rapport and a connection

as opposed to boasting about yourself in a conversation

making it about them and not at all about you... you are there merely to stand in awe at their feminity because you gotta make it appear that you just LOVE females so much on the deepest level...

seduction is very selfless and the focus should always be on the other person... the second you start becoming self-concious... its all but over

You've got it.

It's about them, not you.

You're trying to appeal to her ego, not YOURS.

Yours is talking about everything about you; your dreams, your ambitions, etc. When you've fed her enough of her own ego, then it's natural to hear about you. But, don't expect her to think anything more of you even if you were great and dashing in your endless talk about yourself.

Remember, a woman only wants to hear about a man's vision and purpose after she has laid down hers. But, you've got to show a sincere interest in it, past the superficial level. A lot of girls want to be stars and makeup artists, but you've got to appreciate her sense of wanting to create. If you don't then she realizes she is replaceable as the very next girl.

[b0ngman]

what about when it comes to the point when they start wanting to know about you?

do you feel its best to be modest/tell the truth/not worry what she thinks about the real you

or

assume they are chalking you up and having assesed them... tell them what you think they wanna hear about you and embellish a little here and there... its not lieing its flirting