Every Moment of Struggle is a Moment Worth Fighting for.

[Neeks]

Every Moment of Struggle is a Moment Worth Fighting for

As I have taken the advice from a friend I have decided to post my story here on this website for people to take inspiration from one of the greatest struggles a person can go through. Losing weight can be the most difficult challenge one may face through a lifetime as it takes years of dedication and commitment through effort and pain in order to accomplish their goal. This is why I decided to post my story here for all of you. To see what it is like to go through the rigors of training, the emotional commitment, and the time investment that is necessary for such an ordeal. However it is not my goal to tell you how hard it was, but really how the rewards for the effort make every moment of struggle a moment that is worth fighting for.

It all begins at a time in my life where everything was going wrong in every possible way. This can all be attributed to the fact that my weight of 300 pounds was causing my intense depression, as I felt different from everyone else. I felt very alone and suffered because of it. The depression of being a large person doesn't help the problem; stress eating and laziness soon pursued. I also had strong memories of myself of a child being picked on and teased for being overweight. These memories stayed with me up through teenagehood and fueled my depression and need of eating. I wasn't very close to my family or friends. I had only a few really good friends that decided to stick with me, but I realized my attitude drew them farther away as time went by. It was not also the fact that I had very little friends or the fact that I wasn't very close to my family, but it was the feeling of going outside and knowing that everytime someone looks at you, they feel disgust. That was what hurt the most about being someone who is morbidly overweight. Not only all that, but also the fact that instead of realizing the problem, I was in denial that anything was wrong. This was due to my massive interest in video games and computers that seemed to only overshadow any common sense, my reality distortion essentially. Overall, nearly every aspect of my life had a problem at this point in time, and as time went by, my hole was dug deeper and deeper.

But enough with the negative, my life sucked, you get that. Now it's time for the turnaround. The climax at which I decided that life wasn't worth living in my current state; the realization. It was a day quite a while ago now. I was an avid gamer looking to have a good time at a lan party out in the city. At this point in time I was fairly sick. I had a throat infection and I decided that I wanted to experience a lan party (Gathering of nerds), even in my current condition. I did the usual; grabbed a couple of NOS energy drinks and ran off to my get together. Everything was okay up until around 5am in the morning, I sipped down my second energy drink and was still roaring to go. My adrenaline was pumping and I was "pwning some noobs" so to speak. At around 6am I decided to head out and call it a night. Everything was alright on the way home. No problems and didn't notice anything odd. Right as im about to go to sleep though, I noticed something was off. I couldn't sleep. I had this image racing through my head of a horse sprinting and it wouldn't stop. My heart was racing incredibly fast, and I kept laying there for a good 30 minutes but the feeling wouldn't subside. At this point I was having a panic attack. For those who don't know what a panic attack is, it is a strong pain in your chest that feels like a heart attack, but essentially isn't. I prompted my dad to take me to the clinic and see what's going on. When I arrived at the clinic, they threw me on the bed and gave me an EKG (Electrocardiogram). For those who don't know what an EKG machine is, it is a machine that tests the electrical signals of the heart to see if I am having a heart attack or not. Yes, at the tender age of 17, I had to get an EKG. that was the seriousness of my condition, ridiculous. The nurse immediately took me into a private room and started asking me if I took ******* or some serious drug, and that she wouldn't tell my dad if I did. I responded with "NO" many times as she repeatedly asked the question. Through persistance, she believed me. Later I found the results to my EKG as satisfactory, there was no problem with the exception of an extrodinarily high heart rate caused by the high amounts of caffeine and other chemicals in my blood. It was at this point in time that I realized, I had to change, I knew that what I was doing with my life wasn't healthy, and I was told before that I wouldn't live past 30 if I kept doing what I was doing. I looked up for help, I thought of my grandfather that had passed, and asked him to give me strength to change, to help me out in the journey that I must continue on. I firmly believe that his guidance helped me through my journey, as I always thought of him when things got rough. The second thing that I did during this change was have a very personal conversation with my mom that changed everything. She gave me the inspiration through her stories and passion that I would have never imagined possible. Overall this experience is something that I needed, the turning point at which my downhill roll changed into an uphill stride.

Now that you know the Bad and the change, It is time for you to learn the positive and the struggle. The very first thing that I did, and probably the biggest change in my life was the decision to quit video gaming entirely. I was outright addicted and many times spent all day playing games such as counter-strike source. This was the first step in my transformation as I would not have been able to change without first targeting the problem at which why I was who I was. With video gaming out of the picture now, I found that I had Issues with boredom. Now that the biggest part of my life was no longer in existance, I realised that I had nothing to do, no single activity that I could use to replace this problem. I instead turned to athletics to help me utilize all this free time that I now have aquired. I signed up at a local goodlife only a few minutes away from my home, and this is where it all began. It was quite an experience that I was going through. I was at a point in my life where the way I was living was changing. My interests where changing, my attitude towards life, and the relationships that I had with my friends and family were all changing as I go through this step in my life. This lead to discomfort, followed by a little optimism and excitement for a future and a dream that I was developing. Now going back to the talk about the goodlife membership where everything began, and my attribution to my change. I came into the building with optimism and hope that I could make something better of myself. With the help of the staff and the support of my friends and family, I soon found myself at the gym exercising for 2 hours a day every day with breaks when necessary. I didn't really like the weightlifting aspect of the gym, I was a big guy, but it didn't necissarily appeal to me. My guess is that the thought of being trim and quick, something I thought I could never be was assosiated with, was related to cardio. And my dream was to be thin, small, and quick. Therefore a majority of my time was spent on the treadmills, exercise bikes and stairclimbers. I believe that this was a conversion of my addiction toward video games, now an addiction to exercise. The difference being that this addiction was something that could help me, something that would pull me from the hole at which I initially dug myself into. As the months past my motivation remained constant. When I would exercise I would get into this mode of thought where nothing else mattered, nothing else in the world could bother me now and all I have to do is go faster, try harder. It's pure focus of the highest level and it is at this point where your mind goes blank, only to be filled by the extasy that is the workout. When at the peak of my workouts I would always think about the future, what I am working so hard to achieve. My dream was my tank, and my fuel was my desire. But when motivation was low, I would always think back to my past, what everyone thought of me, and what everyone was going to think of me. The Pain was no object, it had no threshold on me, when I was there, I was invincible, I was superman.
Zooming ahead 1.5 years later, the struggle never changed. Hours of rigorous exercise described my daily agenda. I could tell you how it was throughout the entire duration of the change, but it would just be repetitive. It was hard at the begining, and it is still hard, but the continous effort and flawless determination lead to the rewards of such effort; who I am today. I found out who I was through the struggle. I am Nico Verrelli, at the young age of 18 years and the now new weight of 173 pounds 12% bodyfat. I love music, I love to work out, and I love to have friends. My entire aspect on life is positive. I believe everone should get along and when things get hard they shouldn't fight against eachother, but together. My social life is something I can actually call a social life now, and I can now get along with just about anybody. My relationships with my friends and family are repaired and fully functional; brighter than ever before. Every aspect of my life seemed to flip over from what it was. It is like a fade to white. From darkness to brightness. And it seems like everything couldn't be better. I am setting a new goal to be a competitive long distance track runner, something I couldn't even dream of being before. So as you can see, when you lose weight, not only does the appearance change, but the whole person too if you are willing to work hard to make it change. Everything revolves around how much you want it. The passion for what you want, if limitless, will get you where you want to go every time. And I will tell you this; through every second of pain, every moment of sorrow, the light at the end of the tunnel makes anything seem possible, and everything worthwhile. Take a chance, Go for it.

Written by Nico S. Verrelli

Dedicated to my friends, my family, my mother Catherine Thirbert, Father Angelo Verrelli, Melissa Fontana, and my grandfather.

Protected under Creative Commons, International.

[nikai]

Incredible transformation man, all the hard work has clearly paid off.

[Throwdown515]

Inspiring story man, great job!

[Moloholo]

it was a long read, but i made it through. congratulations on your transformation. everything will pay off one day if you worked hard enough.

with determination and hardwork, nothing is impossible i am glad that your life has changed for the better

+rep

[philliplin]

hmmm how did u do ur cardio? i need to lose some fat

[noodles36]

Great freaking job man. But you need to work on that third pose...................

[ele1122]

Good job OP. I too had that moment where I realized I needed to change my life. I went from 254lbs to where I am now, and I'm still going.

Repped