ITT: I investigate mysteries at work

[blacktegu]

My office has a lot of weird, unexplained stuff that goes on here every day, but today I reached my breaking point. Went to the water fountain to fill up my bottle, and I see this:







If you think those are shelled peanuts, you are correct. I can't imagine any situation in which I , or anyone really, would possibly put shelled peanuts on the back of a dirty ass water fountain.

I'm left with 2 possible outcomes...I'm either working with a sociopath trying to send a message, or I'm working with a Squirrelman.

I removed the peanuts and put up the following sign:




Gonna get to the bottom of this. Will post new cases if and as they arise.

[PushUp08]

lol in for this

[Flootie]

its me, Jim from accounting brah

[bhujerban]

Dude, you've officially gone nuts.

[jafomofo]

in for potential lulz.

[mrawdtsi]

it was professor plum in the study with the candlestick..

[papishasho]

How did it feel to hold his nuts?

[Whomper107]

in, good luck with the detectivin OP

[YUL]

fuuuu.

you drink out of that?

1970 called, it wants its water fountain back

[blacktegu]

current list of suspects:
-this guy that looks like a squirrel in the office near mine
-this guy that comes from the other end of our building, and down 2 floors, walking past 5 other bathrooms to use ours every day...always thought that was odd.

Although really, everyone is a suspect.

Will make an effort to go by their desks this afternoon.

[doworkgetbig]

[iamtough]

lmao in 4 later

[blacktegu]

fuuuu.

you drink out of that?

1970 called, it wants its water fountain back

Yeah no ****. Old water fountain is old. The walls in this place are still stained from when people were allowed to smoke in offices. Doesn't make this right though.

[YUL]

take pics of the sh!t stains in the toilet and investigate who left them

[Whomper107]

-this guy that comes from the other end of our building, and down 2 floors, walking past 5 other bathrooms to use ours every day...always thought that was odd.

i do this so i don't have to drop one next to someone in my department

[TechLady]

.........thafuk.jpg

good luck and godspeed OP.....stroll by and take a quick inconspicuous glance in co-workers garbage cans for any signs of peanut shells.....and try to get a pic of the offender

[YUL]

-this guy that comes from the other end of our building, and down 2 floors, walking past 5 other bathrooms to use ours every day...always thought that was odd.

.

i always poop upstairs. i don't want any of my co-workers coming in when i'm pooping (too embarassing)

[blacktegu]

My only other open case is "The Bathroom Cusser".

This one is going to be tough to crack, but it must be done. Every once in a while when I'm in the stall, someone comes in the bathroom and starts mumbling crazy **** to himself. Like "oh you think you're better than me, I'll show you who's better. Look me in the eye ****er. I'll ****ing **** all over your ****." and stuff like that. Crazy talk. Different every time, but it's always mumbled, barely audible, and he says it while washing his hands. I lift up my feet and pretend I'm not in there.

To get this right, I'm going to have to 1st, record him in the act, meaning I'll need to be in the stall closest the sink/urinal when he comes in....hide so he doesn't see I'm in there...and then snap a pic from above or below the divider.

I only run across this guy once a week in there, so it'll have to be just right, but it needs to be solved. He would certainly be a suspect in the "Squirrelman Case" should I find his identity.

[Day_Monster]

-this guy that comes from the other end of our building, and down 2 floors, walking past 5 other bathrooms to use ours every day...always thought that was odd.

I do this because it takes longer.

[YUL]

I do this because it takes longer.

.......at work

[dasfeuer]

In, be careful op. You don't want to go too far, someone might not want you to learn the truth.

[fishpat86]

My only other open case is "The Bathroom Cusser".

This one is going to be tough to crack, but it must be done. Every once in a while when I'm in the stall, someone comes in the bathroom and starts mumbling crazy **** to himself. Like "oh you think you're better than me, I'll show you who's better. Look me in the eye ****er. I'll ****ing **** all over your ****." and stuff like that. Crazy talk. Different every time, but it's always mumbled, barely audible, and he says it while washing his hands. I lift up my feet and pretend I'm not in there.

To get this right, I'm going to have to 1st, record him in the act, meaning I'll need to be in the stall closest the sink/urinal when he comes in....hide so he doesn't see I'm in there...and then snap a pic from above or below the divider.

I only run across this guy once a week in there, so it'll have to be just right, but it needs to be solved. He would certainly be a suspect in the "Squirrelman Case" should I find his identity.

Lol, make sure your camera doesn't make any sound when you take a photo and be sure to take the photo just after he turns the tap on, most people look down when washing their hands.

[Presi]

Op Buy one of those pen cameras and take it apart, make the wire longer.. You could be able to get away with an extra foot or two without needing voltage.


You can make a pen camera into an impromtu spy camera.

+ Smiley sticker, or anything with a big black circle = profit and justice.

[chaunce54]

I can clearly see your nuts.

[TechLady]

My only other open case is "The Bathroom Cusser".

This one is going to be tough to crack, but it must be done. Every once in a while when I'm in the stall, someone comes in the bathroom and starts mumbling crazy **** to himself. Like "oh you think you're better than me, I'll show you who's better. Look me in the eye ****er. I'll ****ing **** all over your ****." and stuff like that. Crazy talk. Different every time, but it's always mumbled, barely audible, and he says it while washing his hands. I lift up my feet and pretend I'm not in there.

To get this right, I'm going to have to 1st, record him in the act, meaning I'll need to be in the stall closest the sink/urinal when he comes in....hide so he doesn't see I'm in there...and then snap a pic from above or below the divider.

I only run across this guy once a week in there, so it'll have to be just right, but it needs to be solved. He would certainly be a suspect in the "Squirrelman Case" should I find his identity.

hm, subbed for outcomes

dis sho am good

[Drew23]

Could have been a rogue elephant.

[YUL]

OP, ever walk by the ladies room @ work when someone is walking out and you peek through the open door and see some ladies feet/calves under the stall door?

turnon?

[Vexed757]

So.... I'm guessing no actual work ever gets done in your office

[xslick]

potential lulz

[mikeyBarracuda]

lol