Detecting Narcissists: How to Avoid them

[Tyr616]

Ok i wanted to make this post because i was raging and beating myself up about this girl i was dating. I was blinded by her "attractiveness" that i didn't realize who she was a person. I just wanted to post some tips to help others realize if they are chasing after or dating a narcissist. Narcissists are really good at turning you into feelings of "oneitis" for them as well.

No Empathy - If the guy/girl you are dating or pursuing has no emotional empathy that's a big warning sign. No emotional empathy means the inability to step into another persons shoes and lacking intuition. Some signs of no empathy include doing things such as blowing you off and not giving you an apology or reason, taking no interest in your feelings, doesn't ask you questions about your day/self. Sometimes narcissist will make plans with you just to blow you off later intentionally.

Cold shoulder - Narcissists will also ditch you or leave you behind in a heartbeat if you don't do what they want to do. They won't compromise with you on anything, and it's what they want regardless of your desires. If they get the chance to ditch you for "better" plans they will do it and not feel the least bit of remorse.

Treats others badly - Talks about friends in a negative light, gossips frequently. Tries to downplay others achievements including your own. Takes no interest in your achievements unless they involve themselves. Only thinks about what they can get from you instead of what they can provide in a equal relationship. Aka, i'll hang out with this guy only because he will buy me drinks. I will only hang out with this guy because he gives me attention, and so on.

So to sum it up, if you notice these traits id say run the other way fast as possible.

[HappeningMole]

Ok i wanted to make this post because i was raging and beating myself up about this girl i was dating. I was blinded by her "attractiveness" that i didn't realize who she was a person. I just wanted to post some tips to help others realize if they are chasing after or dating a narcissist. Narcissists are really good at turning you into feelings of "oneitis" for them as well.

No Empathy - If the guy/girl you are dating or pursuing has no emotional empathy that's a big warning sign. No emotional empathy means the inability to step into another persons shoes and lacking intuition. Some signs of no empathy include doing things such as blowing you off and not giving you an apology or reason, taking no interest in your feelings, doesn't ask you questions about your day/self. Sometimes narcissist will make plans with you just to blow you off later intentionally.

Cold shoulder - Narcissists will also ditch you or leave you behind in a heartbeat if you don't do what they want to do. They won't compromise with you on anything, and it's what they want regardless of your desires. If they get the chance to ditch you for "better" plans they will do it and not feel the least bit of remorse.

Treats others badly - Talks about friends in a negative light, gossips frequently. Tries to downplay others achievements including your own. Takes no interest in your achievements unless they involve themselves. Only thinks about what they can get from you instead of what they can provide in a equal relationship. Aka, i'll hang out with this guy only because he will buy me drinks. I will only hang out with this guy because he gives me attention, and so on.

So to sum it up, if you notice these traits id say run the other way fast as possible.

Cool story bro!!!!

[Patchwork]

Wow, just made this same realization myself about someone. Whole long story about that one. She's still asking for me to do stuff for her while continuing to blow me off. I wonder if we should pity these people. They might not even be aware of how self-centered they really are. And yes, she's really hot.

[Always.Rising]

Ok i wanted to make this post because i was raging and beating myself up about this girl i was dating. I was blinded by her "attractiveness" that i didn't realize who she was a person. I just wanted to post some tips to help others realize if they are chasing after or dating a narcissist. Narcissists are really good at turning you into feelings of "oneitis" for them as well.

No Empathy - If the guy/girl you are dating or pursuing has no emotional empathy that's a big warning sign. No emotional empathy means the inability to step into another persons shoes and lacking intuition. Some signs of no empathy include doing things such as blowing you off and not giving you an apology or reason, taking no interest in your feelings, doesn't ask you questions about your day/self. Sometimes narcissist will make plans with you just to blow you off later intentionally.

Cold shoulder - Narcissists will also ditch you or leave you behind in a heartbeat if you don't do what they want to do. They won't compromise with you on anything, and it's what they want regardless of your desires. If they get the chance to ditch you for "better" plans they will do it and not feel the least bit of remorse.

Treats others badly - Talks about friends in a negative light, gossips frequently. Tries to downplay others achievements including your own. Takes no interest in your achievements unless they involve themselves. Only thinks about what they can get from you instead of what they can provide in a equal relationship. Aka, i'll hang out with this guy only because he will buy me drinks. I will only hang out with this guy because he gives me attention, and so on.

So to sum it up, if you notice these traits id say run the other way fast as possible.

You do realize those are clearly negative interpretations of an individual. (@ the bold).

This should be common sense.

But, I think what the OP was getting at is....

"Why would you want to justify someone whos actions reflect the bold?

No attractiveness should ever allow you to justify such individual characteristics.

*EDIT

Good job anyway though OP.

[sfvalley]

Reps. I just realized a new "friend" Ive been hanging out with is a complete narcissist.

Edit: I only put up with it because im trying to widen my social circle (hot chicks tend to have hot friends).

[SteelCrayon]

I use to be how op describes... Feels bad.

[Patchwork]

I use to be how op describes... Feels bad.

Interesting, so what changed it for you?

[Goby]

The good narcissists hide that ****! Or is that sociopaths?

[Guardian]

Every human is a Narcissist deep down.

There could be a large number of reasons a person acts as the op describes but simply saying its because they are a narcissist is not one of them.


Someone could be the most caring dependable person in the world and never break plans and always ask about your day and feelings yet be more of a narcissist then the person the op describes.

Sometimes the nicest people are the most narcissist, they use being nice to win and accumulate alot of friends.

[SteelCrayon]

Interesting, so what changed it for you?

My ex leaving me for an ugly guy that worshipped her. "you just care about yourself and your looks, he calls me beautiful and treats me right"

[Guardian]

My ex leaving me for an ugly guy that worshipped her. "you just care about yourself and your looks, he calls me beautiful and treats me right"

Lost to white knight?

[janky]

why you hatin bitch?

oh wait this has nothing to do w me so I dont care

[zenzone]

I have known a few narcissist people over the years. None of them fit that description word for word, all have varying degrees of it. I think one can outgrow it through life experiences. One classmate I went to school with was fairly close to OP's description and he never changed UNTIL he had two kids. Nothing will change the focus on the self to others quicker than having 2 screaming kids with dirty diapers saying 'feed me'.

[SteelCrayon]

Lost to white knight?

Yes sir but I can't blame her cuz I ignored her alot

[bodybuilder89]