Nice post Janky. You're right in the sense that it doesn't really say anything about a girl's integrity. It just says that she'll probably be good in bed. With that being said, if all the girl did was sleep around without ever being in a committed relationship, I don't think it's wrong or unfair to come to the conclusion that she might be trouble. A more important thing is to know whether or not she has cheated in the past.
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Thread: The "Slut" reputation...
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07-15-2010, 02:05 PM #61"Those who are compassionate when they should be tough will be tough when they should be compassionate." Dennis Prager
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07-15-2010, 02:10 PM #62
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07-15-2010, 02:36 PM #63
im gonna go be a huge hipocrit and say that i do care a little.
1). its extremly hard for a guy to get with alot of women, its really easy for a woman to sleep with alot of men. a 4/10 could get laid by a new guy 7 nights per week (a guy better looking that her too!) just by showing up at a bar and being friendly. brad pitt couldnt even pull that off. even women know this. theres nothing to respect about a girl banging a new dude every night (nothing to disrespect either), however, mad props to the bro who can bang a new girl every night. even girls are impressed by that. trust me, all my buddies girls think i'm a man whore, but they all love the hell outta me.
2). women feel the consequences of sex more. std's are much harder on their bodies, whereas men can have them for years and never notice a thing. not to mention kids. god only knows how many kids are out there where the ho bag mother didnt know how to get in contact with the real father, so she sleeps with someone else real quick and trys to pin it on him. happened to a good buddy of mine.
3). i value a woman that is intelligent enough to see that the live,laugh,love/party it up/ slut phase is bs.
after saying all that, i wouldnt hold it against a girl if her number were higher than mine. i never ask what her number is. i only judge based on what she shows me with her actions once we start getting involved. so its not a deal breaker at all.
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07-15-2010, 02:39 PM #64
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You're saying you wouldn't be excited to hang out with a celebrity? It'd be the same level of thrill as hanging out with Dave from down the block?
I don't need examples to clarify the validity of human nature that we embrace on a daily basis. People are attracted to fame.
Difference being the level of social status women strive to achieve that men are not nearly as preoccupied with (in most cases).
Furthermore, what guy on a dating site puts: must have a job, car, not live with the parents, etc.? Almost none, instead it's more like to be "No fatties."
A dude will date an unemployed girl that lives with mommy and daddy is she's smokin' hot.
And there are plenty of rich, famous bitches that dudes will not ****. I.e. Liza Minelli, that fat black bitch from American Idol, Precious, etc.
Most guys also can't get ass to save their lives and settle for whatever comes their way.
I agree though, it's a lot less likely than the criteria women hold men to. Men just want something that looks pretty and won't fck everyone they know.
but again, this could go back to experience - since I've been with a lot of women, I'm more picky and will scrutinize the same way a woman would. Women have more options, so they can afford to be more picky and scrutinize. nomsayn?
The correlation between loyalty (or a lack thereof) and promiscuity is summed up quite nicely by your last paragraph. If sex is just sex then it doesn't mean much and is just a clumsy activity (you spyin' on me, brah?) doing it with someone else isn't that big of a deal. "It's just a one time thing...it doesn't matter" *insert other b.s women tell themselves*
The problem is when you catch a woman you gave your heart to getting throttled by the pool boy when you came home from work early one day to surprise her, the sex suddenly means a whole hell of a lot.
Logic would seem to dictate to me that the person with the cavalier attitude is more likely to engage in it with other people than the girl who views sex as a much more meaningful experience.
It's all an interpretation brah. I won't disagree with you here - that's a very valid way to look at things. I'm just saying that some persons may also consider that since sex is not so important, they should cherish something more meaningful and invest their all into that instead of just quick-fixes in the form of genital manipulation to achieve orgasm.
It's all in how the person sees it. Like I said, I'm a slut and I've never once cheated. Never will. I don't view sex as meaningful unless I'm really in love with someone. Aside from that, I can just have dirty, drunken, fun sex. It means jacksht overall. Just something fun to do.
That doesn't mean that my standards for how to treat my partner are so low that i'd engage in that behavior and disregard their feelings.
ahahaha I like that. lolCommon Sense Crew
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07-15-2010, 02:39 PM #65
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07-15-2010, 02:42 PM #66
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That's fair.
Although, guys can get laid just as easily as girls can.
Get in shape. Dress nice. Be confident. Lose weight (or gain muscle). Lower standards.
that's it. You COULD bang a new girl every night if you wanted to bang 4's.
Most girls can't bang the guys they truly WANT to bang on that frequent of a basis for a multitude of reasons; insecurity, nervous, he's taken, she doesnt know how to flirt, he wont approach, he's not into her, etc. etc.
The rejection is like a fatal blow to a woman - trust me, they have a MUCH harder time approaching than we do.
Therefore they cock block themselves a lot - and most of the guys that approach are guys they don't really want.
So when you boil it down, we're really not that far off on that spectrum....Common Sense Crew
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07-15-2010, 02:49 PM #67
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hmm.. you sayin' I'm insecure? WANNA FIGHT?
lol jk jk
You're probably right. I'm sure a lot of women who slut it up do have a base of insecurity that promotes that behavior.
Some may just like sex and have a different ethical standpoint than what women are "expected" to have.
And ********.. well
put a picture of an 18 yaer old next to a picture of a 43 year old.
It's not "fresh meat" lol - it's aesthetics.Common Sense Crew
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"My brother is an Alpha male in real life and virtually all of his friends are Alpha males." - zionosis
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07-15-2010, 02:53 PM #68
ahhh damnit your right about it being just as easy for ME if i wanted to lower MY standards. but your core audience here is guys who need you to explain to them exactly how to say "HI" ffs! those guys cant just go get laid like you and i can. i'm sure if i walked into a bar tonight and only talked to 6's and below, i'd find something to smash. i usually start with the hottest and work my way down though (little theory about girls and how they see you talking to the hottest girl in the place, as long as shes smiling then your status goes way up, even if she shoots you down. nows the the time for this tho ).
i never really thought about whether a girl knew how to flirt until i got on these boards and read stuff, now when i girl is a ****ty flirt i think "bish needs to step up her game lol" but oh well.
in conclusion, theres a reason why 10% of men have 90% of the casual sex.
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07-15-2010, 02:57 PM #69
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07-15-2010, 03:06 PM #70
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07-15-2010, 03:15 PM #71
Because they are scared of investing in someone who is notorious for fooling around?
I would bang a slut but would be hesitant to date. You are a product of your experiences and people don't normally do 180s in life. So, it's the same mentality. I mean people on here ( i think including you ) say not to go back to an ex because people don't change right?
Use her for what she is known for. Plus, usually when girls are like that, they are looking for validation way too much=insecure=more likely to cheat.
No? Want to hear your side.
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07-15-2010, 03:17 PM #72
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07-15-2010, 03:34 PM #73
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Uh. Different levels of commitment? Investment? One is just sex with someone you don't care about and the other you're actually spending time with them? Possibly introducing them to your friends and/or your parents?
It's not that complicated.
I'd give a random stranger a ride but I wouldn't invite a stranger to move in with me. Now replace "stranger" with "slut". You can also make the same analogy with fat chicks.
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07-15-2010, 03:56 PM #74
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Hitting the titty bar with "Dave" from down the block would be a lot more interesting than hanging out with some celebrity I don't know.
And I've had jobs where I had to interact with "rock stars" and most of them were dbags and or drug addicts. Yeah, that's a lot of fun.
I'm sure some men are attracted to fame and want to bask in the glow of celebrity or whatever. But not nearly to the extent that women are, and certainly not to the point that they elevate the sexual status of someone.
Again, no matter how famous she gets dudes are not going to view the fat bitch from American Idol as a sex symbol.
Contrast that to that skinny guy from Twilight. I saw some youtube video of teenage girls bitching about the casting decision ("who's that," "he's ugly"), the movie comes out and is successful and the dude becomes a sex symbol or whatever.
And the context we're talking about is sex and relationships, in that context guys do not chase status. They chase physical appearance.
welllllllllll I would put that...
Most guys also can't get ass to save their lives and settle for whatever comes their way.
I agree though, it's a lot less likely than the criteria women hold men to. Men just want something that looks pretty and won't fck everyone they know.
but again, this could go back to experience - since I've been with a lot of women, I'm more picky and will scrutinize the same way a woman would. Women have more options, so they can afford to be more picky and scrutinize. nomsayn?
Although I'm not sure it's true. I read an article a while back in which the CDC was cited and noted that 10.5% of men had had 3 or more partners in the last year while some 79% had 1 or fewer. That would seem to indicate that women are actually drawing from a smaller sample size of desirable man. And what's the quote: 80% of the women are ****ing 20% of the men, or whatever.
Actually, the more I think about it the less I agree with that. Cause I've seen some threads on here with guys complaining about overweight women with five kids demanding prince charming when they bring so little to the table---and obviously don't have that many options since being overweight is a buzzkill and kids is a huge red flag telling you not to **** with that.
Well these 3 paragraphs would tie into asserting your opinion as fact without valid examples to solidify it.
It's all an interpretation brah. I won't disagree with you here - that's a very valid way to look at things. I'm just saying that some persons may also consider that since sex is not so important, they should cherish something more meaningful and invest their all into that instead of just quick-fixes in the form of genital manipulation to achieve orgasm.
It's all in how the person sees it. Like I said, I'm a slut and I've never once cheated. Never will. I don't view sex as meaningful unless I'm really in love with someone. Aside from that, I can just have dirty, drunken, fun sex. It means jacksht overall. Just something fun to do.
That doesn't mean that my standards for how to treat my partner are so low that i'd engage in that behavior and disregard their feelings.
Look at this way: What do men ultimately want from women? Ultimately, the answer is sex (that night) or a wife.
What do women want out of a man? The answer is status. Instinctively, the want the ultimate alpha male, so they can lord it over other women. (Al's thread about women loving competition is spot on.) Even when they settle down with the sad losers that are happy to be with a woman that was ridden hard and put away wet, these women still often cheat on the poor bastards providing with them---when men of more high social status come along and remind them of their glory days.
Of course, women have brains and can presumably overcome the biological imperative to constantly chase status (At least I hope so, if anyone is going to have a healthy and happy relationship that lasts for the duration of their respective life's) but it seems to me that a woman getting pounded by a different guy every other week is probably buying into the status chasing.
And hey, since you didn't like the porn star example, I just thought of an even better one: Prostitutes.
If sex is just sex and doesn't really mean anything, would you be keen on dating a hooker. It's just sex and just a job, right?
I actually think that pretty much highlights the difference in values men and women have. A woman would rather be with a "high social status" guy (even if there is a risk involved because of his promiscuity) than a virgin.
On the other hand, a man would prefer to be with a chaste virgin, and many men view prostitutes with a great deal of contempt. I mean most of us have patronized them and then beat them to death...in video games. Right?
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07-15-2010, 04:36 PM #75
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And 5 years down the line, when your non-sexual wife has decided she's not interested in sex any more (because she never really has been), you'll wish you had married the slut.
Precisely because we know we'll be judged by men. Someone's sexual history is such a tiny part of the overall picture, yet so much emphasis is put on it.
Maybe she used them as man size dildos. Women enjoy sex too you know. It doesn't always have to mean something. It can be purely for the physical pleasure. Why would you think a sexually confident woman who saw a man she fancied the pants off and took him to bed, would have been "used as a cum dumpster"? Do you think it's only men who use people for sex?
And by using a woman for sex and dumping her, you're only adding to her number and putting the next guy off.
Repped.
Also something Janky said earlier about being a slut but being faithful while in a relationship made perfect sense. The belief seems to be that a slutty girl is also a cheat, which has no basis really. The way someone acts while single and the way they act while in a relationship shouldn't be compared, because they're entirely different situations.**** Atheist Alliance ****
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07-15-2010, 04:44 PM #76
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07-15-2010, 04:58 PM #77
To be honest I'd be more worried about a woman telling me shes only fked one guy at 22 then a chick whos ****ed 20.
That is just me though, I think that as humans of this era we should all just bathe in every thought of carnal pleasure and let loose.
I dislike the women that think that because they are "pure" they are to be more valued.----
As someone who drops nothing but pure unadulterated [b]TRUTH[/b] this had to be done. Now that you have been hit with a healthy dose of [B]TRUTH[/B] feel free to overdose. Voila!
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07-15-2010, 04:59 PM #78
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07-15-2010, 05:01 PM #79
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07-15-2010, 05:02 PM #80
it would bother me more if i knew the girl was a cheater than if she had been with 50+ guys.
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07-15-2010, 05:04 PM #81
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Yep, women can always get laid. So we must wonder why the ones who haven't, haven't. Is it because they're worried about their reputation? Or is it because they're not really interested in sex? It would suck to choose a woman based on her sexual past only to find that past exists for the wrong reason.
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07-15-2010, 05:07 PM #82
I can't tell you how to cater to all men. Im my own breed I suppose and there are men on the other side of that spectrum, best thing to do is stay in the middle if you wanna get the best results.
BUT I encourage you to let loose, I think the world overall would be a better place if more women put out
my 2cents, what you personally do is irrelevant to me but I am just trying to bring to your attention that not all of us want virgins, and some of us don't mind us slut.
That being said... How many men a woman sleeps with has never been a defining trait in my books, never will be either.... All this talk of fear of her being clean is retarded, most women that take good care of themselves normally are able to stay virus free. So guys that say they don't want a slut because she might have da aids are silly imo----
As someone who drops nothing but pure unadulterated [b]TRUTH[/b] this had to be done. Now that you have been hit with a healthy dose of [B]TRUTH[/B] feel free to overdose. Voila!
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07-15-2010, 05:12 PM #83
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07-15-2010, 05:21 PM #84
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I don't know Janky, to be honest, I'm fukcing sick and tired of it all.. Dating games, relationship games, games, marriage games, divorces, insecurity, lying, suffering, nastyness... To be honest it seems that the Male & Female relations field is nothing more then a battlefield. And I've already been on the real battlefield after doing my time in the Army, so I don't fukcing want to tear more pieces of my heart off and let my brain boil in frustration in pursuit of a fukcing Woman I can just spend my life with.. Such a god damn simple thing I want, a fukcing companion who I can be honest with, sincere with, experience life with, have good sex with, and yet in today's world it's like you have to go through elaborate intricate ass puzzles and fight dragons and gather up years of emotional and physical baggage.. FUKC that, fukc it all..
I'm through with it all, if someone good comes along (Someone who I can treat well, so they can treat me well) then I'll hop on it, if not, then fukc it I'll die alone..
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07-15-2010, 05:26 PM #85
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I found an interesting blog post which I think is relevant to this discussion. I particularly like how the guy uses the CDC reports on sexual partners (women had) and matched up with marital status:
Now, we already know that men place a high value on female beauty, so if we take into account that sexual loyalty also matters a great deal to them as well as how a woman's sexual history serves as a practical proxy for that otherwise indeterminable loyalty, we can construct a scale that should reliably describe a woman's socio-sexual attractiveness to men. The Center for Disease Control reports that women between the ages of 20 to 59 anonymously report their sexual histories as follows.
Slutty: 15+ partners: 9.4 percent
Frisky: 7-14 partners: 21.3 percent
Normal: 2-6 partners: 44.3 percent
Chaste: 0-1 partners: 25 percent
Also according to the CDC, the median number of sexual partners for women of what has lately become the normal age of marriage (25-29) is 4. The report also shows that the sexual history proxy is a reasonable one for future marital prospects; 30.8% of Chaste women are currently married and 6.5% are divorced whereas only 7.4% of Slutty women are currently married compared to 19.1% who are divorced.
To keep things relatively simple, I will next divide women into four categories based on their perceived physical beauty on the conventional 1-10 scale as follows:
Barbie: 9-10: 5 percent
Babe: 7-8: 15 percent
Jane: 4-6: 50 percent
Coyote: 1-3: 30 percent
The key thing to remember here is that men have a very binary approach to women. What they are looking for in the immediate term is almost never what they prefer in the long term. For permanent relationships, which I assume is the hierarchy of interest here, most men prefer to drop down one level on the Beauty side in favor of going up one level on the History side, the possible exception being the Alphas who put a premium on Beauty and for whom the numerical difference between Normal and Slutty is a rounding error in their own telephone book-length sexual histories.
Elite: Chaste Barbie, Normal Barbie, Chaste Babe
1st Class: Frisky Barbie, Normal Babe, Chaste Jane
2nd Class: Slutty Barbie, Frisky Babe, Normal Jane
Green: Slutty Babe, Frisky Jane, Chaste Coyote
Conscript: Slutty Jane, Normal, Frisky, and Slutty Coyotes
This explains both Conflicted's negative reaction to his girlfriend's history and the Hot Wife + Herb combination that puzzles so many observers of human relationships regardless of their sex. Conflicted thought he had scored a Normal Babe, but she turned out to be a Slutty Babe. So, her value declined accordingly in his eyes to such an extent that he is contemplating ending the dating relationship and almost surely will decline to marry her. In the case of the Hot Wife + Herb, it's most likely an obvious case of a woman having her Beauty value reduced by her History value.
Now, as Spacebunny points out, these are merely general guidelines based on statistics and there are always individual exceptions. But it explains why even the prettiest porn stars don't marry Alphas and why relatively unattractive women manage to marry highly desirable men like Piers Brosnan and Matt Damon Denzel Washington. It also shows the clear choice that young women have to make between their short-term hypergamous instincts and their long-term marital prospects. And to me, one of the more interesting things is the way women tend to share this hierarchical view of their own sex with men, whereas men are often contemptuous of the smarmier sort of Alpha and simply cannot believe women put such a high value on them.
Statistically, a marriage to a chaste woman is more likely to succeed than to a slut. At least in American.
Very interesting.
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07-15-2010, 05:39 PM #86
one thing I wished they could have found out is whether or not those marriages that involved chaste women were actually a success. The definition behind success in this case probably means that the marriage lasted but that by no means its a success, it just means that both parties were willing to stick it through.
I am willing to bet that most of those guys with chaste women are probably cheating on their wives and most women that know they are cheating on will not leave their men if it happens to be their first. I knew two women, who were around the age of 28, they sticked with their husbands for 10 years even though he was cheating in the first because it was their "first" and they were so emotionally attached to their male counterparts because they've never shared that bond with another
WHILST a woman who has had other partners understand that she can be treated better elsewhere
Just how I interpreted that last segment of your post.----
As someone who drops nothing but pure unadulterated [b]TRUTH[/b] this had to be done. Now that you have been hit with a healthy dose of [B]TRUTH[/B] feel free to overdose. Voila!
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07-15-2010, 06:23 PM #87
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Dr. Dre - Housewife - 2001
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1Ecbeq514c
Chorus: Kurupt
Now this this is one of them occasions
where the homies not doin it right
I mean he found him a hoe that he like
But you can't make a hoe a housewife
And when it all boils down you gonna find in the end
a bitch is a bitch, but a Dogg is a man's best friend
So what you found you a hoe that you like
But you can't make a hoe a housewife (wife)
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07-15-2010, 06:45 PM #88
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07-15-2010, 06:59 PM #89
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after exfiance and i broke up she threw it iin my face that she was fckn around alot. i tried reinforcing this statement and she blew it off. i agree with you totally but where it crumbles is yeah she could go pull guys left and right at the bar even for being subpar but the one thing she'll never be able to do is get one of those guys and make something serious out of it.
many will agree that yeah we lower standards for an easy fck but when it comes to rship i know myself will never get srs with a subpar chick again
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07-15-2010, 08:49 PM #90
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in for later reading
hope it doesnt get deletedF*ck Joe Biden
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