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  1. #1
    Registered User southeastoz's Avatar
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    Benefits of no sex before marriage?

    I can't think of all that many. Some, such as a decreased risk of STIs, unwanted pregnancy can be avoided (almost totally) by using protection and/or the pill and choosing your partners selectively.

    I just feel it's incredibly idiotic. This comes from me flicking through channels and coming to the Hills (no homo), this girl was speaking to her bf about moving in together and then she dropped this bombshell - she doesn't move in with anyone she's in a relationship with unless they're engaged. Her reason being that she's had a bunch of friends move in with their boyfriends and it goes belly up. WTF? If you're going to go belly up, getting engaged will do nothing for you, you're simply going to waste a ****load of money, bring about a ton of bad feelings and broken hearts this way.

    It's the same with sex, imo it's a HUGE part of a relationship, couples should have sex (when they're ready), if you're not sexually compatible with someone, then that's a MASSIVE drawback to a relationship. If you wait so long until you're married, you've already spent a ****load on each other and this is something that could very well have the potential to mess up a relationship.

    I'm not saying that people should go round on bang anyone in site obviously, but if you're both ready, willing and able then why the hell not? I only know a couple of christians personally and they both got married as soon as they left school and honestly, I think it's just because they want to get laid so bad (no offense theist brahs). My other mate works in a car hire place and it's run by christians, thus he's one of the only non christians, all those working had kids and got married at 14-16 and they honestly think he's weird because he's 19 (think he's 20 now) and he's not married and settled down. A lot of the mothers and daughters look like sisters. This brings up a whole other argument that might digress a bit - I think it's selfish and stupid to have kids that early, you're not mature enough (not by a long shot, the brain isn't even fully developed until 25) and you have no where near the financial stability you would have if you had waited until you were older (assuming you were smart with your money of course). You can't offer your children anywhere near the quality of care you can when older - this is refelected in freakonomics - the older you are when you have kids, the less likely they are to commit crimes, do drugs etc. Though of course that may bring up the causal argument that people who have kids younger are simply passing on their less than reputable genes, no offense to anyone.

    Another thing that might not be too off topic is masturbating - it's not wrong at all. In fact if you've read in medical books/evolutionary books then you will know that's it's a very healthy practise. Even when you're trying to have your own kid, it INCREASES your chances of conception because it gets rid of the old backed up sperm and that's replaced with new, healthy sperm - very healthy even if you're not trying to conceive. It offers a range of other mental and physical benefits. Another thing I definitely do not agree with.
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  2. #2
    Registered User AussieTrapezius's Avatar
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    Each to their own. Nobody is forcing you to have no sex before marriage, why get upset when others want to wait.

    I believe in Freedom.
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  3. #3
    Registered User frasersteen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AussieTrapezius View Post
    Each to their own. Nobody is forcing you to have no sex before marriage, why get upset when others want to wait.

    I believe in Freedom.
    Only object when chicks believe in it. Otherwise it's just more sexually frustrated opportunity for the rest of us.
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  4. #4
    Banned timbo81's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by southeastoz View Post
    My other mate works in a car hire place and it's run by christians, thus he's one of the only non christians, all those working had kids and got married at 14-16 and they honestly think he's weird because he's 19 (think he's 20 now) and he's not married and settled down.
    ok now I know you're trolling since that's not even legal to get married at that age.
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  5. #5
    Registered User r0gue6's Avatar
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    There are no benefits.

    Why would you marry a chick you might not be sexually compatible with?
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    Originally Posted by r0gue6 View Post
    There are no benefits.

    Why would you marry a chick you might not be sexually compatible with?
    Because your invisible friend in the sky tells you to.
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    Pull-up master T150's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by r0gue6 View Post
    There are no benefits.

    Why would you marry a chick you might not be sexually compatible with?
    This.
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  8. #8
    Registered User AussieTrapezius's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Weightaholic View Post
    Because your invisible friend in the sky tells you to.
    Because when you have sex you become one flesh lol
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    Registered User TheGunShow777's Avatar
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    Wait a minute no STI's.......fuuuuuuu

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    rep
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    Registered User TheGunShow777's Avatar
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    But seriously I think this topic should be considered: no sex until committed to one lifetime partner. Sex represents one full half of the marriage process. This is also Biblically sound. The debate amongst Christians would be whether or not it is wrong to complete this half before completing the public ceremony.

    Marriage = Public Announcement; Private Consummation

    The order in which these are to be achieved is open for debate.
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  12. #12
    Registered User southeastoz's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AussieTrapezius View Post
    Each to their own. Nobody is forcing you to have no sex before marriage, why get upset when others want to wait.

    I believe in Freedom.
    As do I and people are more than welcome to wait until they get married, imo it's just a silly choice. And when it's constantly pushed on many, many people implicitly (and many times explicitly) that if they don't they are committing a massive sin and will go to hell - then yeah, it's an issue. As well as you and others all know, the various acts of violence preached against those who have pre marital sex in the bible, as well as acts such as stoning that still continue to this day.

    Originally Posted by timbo81 View Post
    ok now I know you're trolling since that's not even legal to get married at that age.
    You can get married with the permission of your parents or guardian at 16. In the past that age was lower afaik. Do you have any responses to the crux of my topic however?

    Originally Posted by TheGunShow777 View Post
    Wait a minute no STI's.......fuuuuuuu
    pic]
    The proper medical term is considered to be STI now... Did slightly chuckle though, not lol.
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  13. #13
    Banned timbo81's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by southeastoz View Post



    You can get married with the permission of your parents or guardian at 16. In the past that age was lower afaik. Do you have any responses to the crux of my topic however?



    .
    what country is this.

    I do not know a single christian who was married before 20, most it was mid 20's, and quite a lot who were late 20's, early 30's and still not married.
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  14. #14
    God is the All-Glorious Bahai.Lifter's Avatar
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    Marriage signifies a commitment, whereas many people have sex and don't get married and in many cases with more than one person. Marriage sends a signal to the community that you are committed to your wife, whereas sex outside of marriage doesn't send this signal. If the primary purpose of a relationship is physical, then that is not a strong foundation, and that's why divorce and separation is so high. The strong foundation is a spiritual tie between the man and his wife. Chastity is good for all of society; waiting until marriage for sex is not the only way to be chaste, but one major way which contributes to the good of society. But our culture for the most part rejects traditional religious values, and places the value on "free love" and doing whatever gives you pleasure. It's not bad for humans to enjoy themselves, but if they don't follow chastity then it is them that will be unhappy in the future.

    The bounds that God has set is really for our own good, and to protect us from our own ignorance. Our Loving Father instructs us, because we are His children and in need of learning. No one knows the human being better than the One that gave him a soul and is the Creator of all things. But how often the created is deluded into thinking that he knows more than the Creator!

    One can think of all the teen pregnancies and how young kids'/teens' lives can be destroyed just because the parents didn't give a strong moral upbringing. Then the kid turns on MTV or something and is taught that extramarital sex is a great thing. It's child abuse and negligent for society to teach these things to kids; then they find out the hard way. True happiness comes from following the Laws of God. The Middle Way is the way to go, for anything in life; deviate from this, and misfortune is inevitable.
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    Registered User cman1787's Avatar
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    the only 100% protection against std's and unwanted pregnancies is not to indulge in sex outside of marriage. reading the misc, everybody seems to hate condoms/birth control. so expecting people to use protection all the time is very wishful thinking

    and relationships based on sex are doomed to fail anyways. people don't discriminate between true love and sense attraction. as soon as that sense attraction wears off people get bored with each other and move on

    the more love the less physical affection, the more physical affection the less love.
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    Originally Posted by Bahai.Lifter View Post
    Chastity is good for all of society; waiting until marriage for sex is not the only way to be chaste, but one major way which contributes to the good of society. But our culture for the most part rejects traditional religious values, and places the value on "free love" and doing whatever gives you pleasure. It's not bad for humans to enjoy themselves, but if they don't follow chastity then it is them that will be unhappy in the future.
    All unsubstantiated opinion.
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    There may be some benefits, but not many that I can really see or support.

    At best, having sex with too many people has been thought to lead to a kind of impotence. That might sound silly, but I'll give you some solid examples.

    On this board I've seen thread where guys say they've seen so much porn that they can't get excited and are looking for new porn, and they're in the early 20s. When I was in my early twenties you had to rent porn videos and any glimpse of it was fairly amazing. You did not have access to an infinite amount of porn as you do on the net, so it was more difficult to get overloaded. You've noticed that guys will rate girls' photos with on a 1-10 scale. Most guys want or like the 9/10s and not much below. However, I'll bet that if it was 1940 and we all saw a half naked 5, we'd have a raging hardon we wouldn't know what to do with.

    My point is that if you get too used to a certain stimulus, then you'll need to increase that stimulus to get the same response, and then it might finally just burn out. At this point is life, I still have a great sex drive, but am not too interested in porn because it is largely boring to me. In addition, I'm fairly tired of "hot girls" because I think they're attention whores and money grubbers (plain whores). Perhaps they aren't, but I've been worn out by the media portrayal of "hot girls" and have had enough. Thus, I see a "hot girl" as ugly most of the time. That's not something I think is great, rather I see it as "unfortunate" because something pretty good was ruined for me (I bet my wife would be happy to know it though).

    Marriage:

    If I could jump in a time machine, I would. I'd set a course for 1989, jump out, find myself and say, "Avoid this list of bitches I've provided for you. Get your education as fast as you can, and find this woman (my wife) immediately!" Then, I'd pull a gun on me and force me to agree. I would then fade from existence due to the time paradox.

    Since I can't do that, I look back on all the other women I was with as being a learning experience. Perhaps had I not met them, I wouldn't have been psychologically ready for my wife. I believe that I'm a good person for her, because of previous disappointments. Plus, I did everything sexually that I wanted to, so now that I'm married I won't suddenly become obsessed with "dating a redhead" or whatver, because I already did.

    So, on one hand, if I had met my wife years ago, that might have been great because I wouldn't have baggage from past relationships. But, on the other hand, that baggage made me appreciate her good ways because I had something to compare them to.

    I recommend having a variety of relationships with women---but not too many---so you don't get worn out. Just enough teaches you who you are.
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    Bahai.Lifter, how does masturbation fit into all this?
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    God is the All-Glorious Bahai.Lifter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tiffany Wantsmore View Post
    Bahai.Lifter, how does masturbation fit into all this?
    The sex impulse is not a bad thing, since God has created it. But everything in life needs control, so does the sex impulse. Chastity includes purity in thought, not just abstaining from sex. Masturbation involves the formation of impure thoughts. So it is an improper use of the sex impulse. The proper use of sex impulse is sexual activity between a husband and his wife; nothing outside of that can be considered legitimate, especially looking at it from a Bahá'í perspective which is my belief system.
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    Originally Posted by AussieTrapezius View Post
    Each to their own. Nobody is forcing you to have no sex before marriage, why get upset when others want to wait.

    I believe in Freedom.
    pretty much
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    Originally Posted by cman1787 View Post
    reading the misc, everybody seems to hate condoms/birth control. so expecting people to use protection all the time is very wishful thinking
    ya that seems to be the impression i've gotten over the years reading here.

    basically guys hate wearing condoms and would rather just have a girl be on birth control or pull out.

    I think i've lost count of the amount of stories of guys on here who've met up with a girl at a bar and gone home with her and rawdogged it. And if numbers are to be believed most guys here have slept with 20+ women.

    I think "safe sex" is nothing more than playing the odds of hoping not to get a STD. Because it's clear pretty much no one uses any type of precaution.
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    Well, you'd be so pathetically bad at it on your wedding night that it would be comical. Is that a benefit?
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    only benefit I can see is no STD's or pregnancy; also the more sex (either with someone else or otherwise) I can see someone becoming desensetized to it as it becomes less and less meaningful; but marriage is by no means whatsoever a requirement for sex between two people who love eachother to be meaningful and I agree with the OP sexual compatibility between members of a couple is pretty important for a relationship, so pretty much the only big benefit I see is no STD's or early pregnancies when one is clearly not ready for it
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    Originally Posted by timbo81 View Post

    I do not know a single christian who was married before 20, most it was mid 20's, and quite a lot who were late 20's, early 30's and still not married.
    and none of those had sex right...


    oh, i forgot; it doesnt matter if they sinned because teh jeeesus will forgive them.
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    Originally Posted by Bahai.Lifter View Post
    The sex impulse is not a bad thing, since God has created it. But everything in life needs control, so does the sex impulse. Chastity includes purity in thought, not just abstaining from sex. Masturbation involves the formation of impure thoughts. So it is an improper use of the sex impulse. The proper use of sex impulse is sexual activity between a husband and his wife; nothing outside of that can be considered legitimate, especially looking at it from a Bahá'í perspective which is my belief system.
    So God gives us sexual desire, and that is an impure thought? So God is forcing me to sin?
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    Originally Posted by timbo81 View Post
    ya that seems to be the impression i've gotten over the years reading here.

    basically guys hate wearing condoms and would rather just have a girl be on birth control or pull out.

    I think i've lost count of the amount of stories of guys on here who've met up with a girl at a bar and gone home with her and rawdogged it. And if numbers are to be believed most guys here have slept with 20+ women.

    I think "safe sex" is nothing more than playing the odds of hoping not to get a STD. Because it's clear pretty much no one uses any type of precaution.
    The deal is that most people do not have STDs. You can have sex with an infinite amount of people who do not have STDs and not get an STD. However, as mentioned, it is a gamble.
    Again though, it's not much of gamble if people who are basically children (teens - early twenties) are having sex, but it's unlikely disease has been introduced into that age group.

    The sad thing about condoms, is that I don't think they go well with the genital mutilation (circumcision) performed on most Americans. That ritual is designed to reduce sexual pleasure by callusing the penis. So, you've got a callused penis, and a rubber thing over it, and you're supposed to get lost in sexual pleasure?

    No.

    But, reality gets ignored in favor of what "should be" and the problem isn't address. Then, people abandon protection entirely.

    Another win!
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    Here go your benefits -

    You will be a retard in the sack - completely immature and unskilled. You will be a 30 year old everywhere else, but a 9 year old in the bedroom. I say go for it - it just makes it better for people like me - you know the dude's who your gf's cheat on you with after you bore the chit out of them.
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    Originally Posted by Z06 View Post
    So God gives us sexual desire, and that is an impure thought? So God is forcing me to sin?
    The desire itself isn't bad, just it has to be controlled. Thoughts lead to sexual desires. Wayward thoughts are always there, which is not necessarily our fault. But we can choose to not fixate on them. By controlling our thoughts, I mean not giving into those thoughts. We have an animal nature for sure, but the spiritual nature can take over. A saint is a person that has conquered his animal nature completely, and turned to his spiritual nature. Most are not saints, and have to constantly have control over their thoughts. But we can control ourselves. It's possible, if it's important for us. And people are actually happier this way, than if they are thinking of only sex all day. It's kind of like a disease or being in a cage, they can't think of higher things and are stuck there. Adhering to a chaste life is actually real freedom IMHO. All humans get wayward thoughts, but my point is we can have control over our own desires.


    This is the level of chastity to which Bahá'ís are exhorted to follow:

    He is My true follower who, if he come to a valley of pure gold, will pass straight through it aloof as a cloud, and will neither turn back, nor pause. Such a man is, assuredly, of Me. From his garment the Concourse on high can inhale the fragrance of sanctity.... And if he met the fairest and most comely of women, he would not feel his heart seduced by the least shadow of desire for her beauty. Such an one, indeed, is the creation of spotless chastity. Thus instructeth you the Pen of the Ancient of Days, as bidden by your Lord, the Almighty, the All-Bountiful.
    This is the Bahá'í view on sex which I follow:

    Concerning the positive aspects of chastity the Universal House of Justice states that the Bahá'í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse and holds that the institution of marriage has been established as the channel of its rightful expression. Bahá'ís do not believe that the sex impulse should be suppressed but that it should be regulated and controlled.

    Chastity in no way implies withdrawal from human relationships. It liberates people from the tyranny of the ubiquity of sex. A person who is in control of his sexual impulses is enabled to have profound and enduring friendships with many people, both men and women, without ever sullying that unique and priceless bond that should unite man and wife.
    What is chastity exactly? Is it just abstaining from sex outside of marriage? No, much more than that. If you want an idea of what else it involves:

    "A Chaste and Holy Life

    Compilation of Compilations"

    http://bahai-library.com/compilations/chaste.life.html
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    Originally Posted by Bahai.Lifter View Post
    The sex impulse is not a bad thing, since God has created it.

    Interesting swiss cheese logic. So if god created EVERYTHING, there is no such thing as "bad". This would of course include the homosexuals you call "sinners". Why are you calling one of god's creations "sinners"??
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    Originally Posted by fuggit View Post
    Interesting swiss cheese logic. So if god created EVERYTHING, there is no such thing as "bad".
    Some humans have sexual desires for animals even—anything you can think of almost. Many kinds of sexual desires must be controlled. Again, I emphasized that the sex impulse in and of itself is not bad, but it has to be controlled and channeled in the right way which is in a marriage between a husband and his wife.
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