To Those w/ Teenage Daughters

[genia824]

Deep breath!
Quick background: my daughter, who is 14, has played competitive soccer for 6 years as a goalkeeper. Next year brings a new coach and a new level as the girls enter high school age and a more competitive league. Her new coach told my husband and I she needs to get fitter. She is not overweight, but definitely has more girth than some of the other players and she does struggle when her team does long distance running. She gets it...and is actually looking forward to kicking it up a notch.

My question is: how do I NOT perpetuate my own past "issues" on to my kid! I admit to an ED past (lonnng time ago)and being a bit obsessive. I don't want to obsess on her! And how do I keep this as healthy as possible for her mentally!!! We are going to have one of her former coaches (who is a trainer & physical therapist and "gets" the whole girl thing) put together a program for her to follow, but I am honestly a bit anxious over the whole thing! I know it's MY issues that are popping up in my head and not hers. She is more confident & self-assured at her age and I EVER was. I know I need to calm down, but some words from those w/ daughters would be helpful!

Thanks for reading!

[powerbarsssssss]

Deep breath!
Quick background: my daughter, who is 14, has played competitive soccer for 6 years as a goalkeeper. Next year brings a new coach and a new level as the girls enter high school age and a more competitive league. Her new coach told my husband and I she needs to get fitter. She is not overweight, but definitely has more girth than some of the other players and she does struggle when her team does long distance running. She gets it...and is actually looking forward to kicking it up a notch.

My question is: how do I NOT perpetuate my own past "issues" on to my kid! I admit to an ED past (lonnng time ago)and being a bit obsessive. I don't want to obsess on her! And how do I keep this as healthy as possible for her mentally!!! We are going to have one of her former coaches (who is a trainer & physical therapist and "gets" the whole girl thing) put together a program for her to follow, but I am honestly a bit anxious over the whole thing! I know it's MY issues that are popping up in my head and not hers. She is more confident & self-assured at her age and I EVER was. I know I need to calm down, but some words from those w/ daughters would be helpful!

Thanks for reading!

She may have half of your genes, but she is NOT you. If she is as confident and self assured as you say she is, relax! My mother had "issues" and I have never developed an ED. You will know what signs to look for, if a problem does arise. I feel it's more important that you make sure this person is qualified to get your daughter in shape. A certification does not necessarily mean he/she knows what he's doing and it's possible his/her methods will be more harmful than your obsessions.

[jovinni]

With her working with a former coach, I assume he/she knows her and the family well?

In line with what powerbarsssssss said, side from the training aspect and being watchful over her addressing this issue in a healthy and safe manner, I believe the other issues you are concerned about will work itself out.

14 is not too young of an age to start thinking about conditioning oneself for sports or other activities. As long as she's getting the emotional support from friends and family, and is given the message that taking care of ones body appropriately is priority, I think she'll understand that and it will help you in approaching the subject as well.

[genia824]

Thanks, ladies! In the back of my mind, I already knew all of this. It's just sometimes better to hear from others.

Yes, the former coach who will be training her is definitely qualified. PhD in Physical Therapy and certified in ACL injury prevention. He knows his stuff, is an impeccable example and has been with our soccer club for 13 years. That is not an area for concern...I trust him wholeheartedly!

Again...thanks so much! I truly appreciate you taking the time to respond!

[hublife]

You should send a pm to MZ360

she has a daughter the same age and seems to be doing a phenomenal job of molding her self esteem and helping her stay fit. Just a thought.

[kfisherx]

when my daughter moved to LA and became a model, I worried about the same thing. So I hired a nutritionist to work with her and to make sure she got educated RE what is healthy. Kept me out of the picture (no judging or freaking out) and she felt special because she had this amazing resource available to her. It was well worth the money.

I know lots of parents of athletes who hire personal trainers for their kids to help them learn about fitness and nutrition. I think it is a good idea especially if you know that your own ideas where or could be taken the wrong way.