Erik's Log - Beating the Eating Disorder

[ErikTheElectric]

I'll pay you for some of those stuff if you're going to throw them away, especially the Artic Zero Ice Cream.

I thought you were trying to bulk man?

Get frozen yogurt instead (srs). It's cheap and SOOO good, plus healthier. However I never have tried artic zero.

Yeah, it tastes like frozen watered down chocolate whey protein powder haha.

[MJFan1]

I thought you were trying to bulk man?



Yeah, it tastes like frozen watered down chocolate whey protein powder haha.

I am, I wouldn't mind trying new things though.

If I get that stuff, it's not like I'll only eat those haha.. Plus I always wanted to try them, just for interest.

[ErikTheElectric]

I am, I wouldn't mind trying new things though.

If I get that stuff, it's not like I'll only eat those haha.. Plus I always wanted to try them, just for interest.

Well, low calorie things tend to not taste pretty good compared to higher calorie things.

[MJFan1]

Well, low calorie things tend to not taste pretty good compared to higher calorie things.

Yeah..

Are you going to post updates about what you ate today?

[ErikTheElectric]

Yeah..

Are you going to post updates about what you ate today?

I have NO idea/appetite as of this moment. But I don't know if any of you watch the food network/travel channel.

But Giada De Laurentiis, just made the best damn looking food ever. Ugghh. hahaha

I watch man vs food literally everyday. I've got every episode pretty much recorded downstairs.

I'll prolly update the eats sometime tonight, but I gotta prep for school starting tomorow.
As well as my band practice today. But the eats should be good sirs.

Oh yeah, I still have got that Chicken breast/gizzard/liver soup from the Vietnamese place that I plan on owning up sometime today.

-Erik

Quoted post from earlier. >.<

[MJFan1]

Quoted post from earlier. >.<

Alright, my bad..

[ErikTheElectric]

Alright, my bad..

No Worries.

[ErikTheElectric]

Well, everybody personally I thought about just ignoring the log for today, as I was hit with a pretty shattering decision that was made in my life today. I honestly feel like total crap right now and I don't want any of you to think this is something that should be just "shrugged" off in any way.

Everything was going fine today. I woke up, late. Figured I'd have lunch again. Afterall, I had that soup from the night before. Anyways I had that. Easy 400-500 calories right there.
And figured I'd meet me my mom for dinner again.
I planned on a big meal, free from worry or fear of food, and as soon as I sat down I was ready to conquer the dinner plate.
Mid-Way through the meal I get a text message..

"As of this moment, us and the band have decided that you are temporarily suspended from the band. And we are having someone fill in for you for the show this weekend. Sorry Erik. We feel that this is best for you, and until you get your priorities straightened out. We can't continue it with you."

So In case your all wondering what this co-relates too. I'm in a high school "Metal" band and we were set to play a local venue this weekend called "**** San Diego". It's pretty much the biggest venue you can play at if your an Unsigned band.

Anyways, for the past 3-4 months my working out obsession and eating disorder have pushed me away from my love of music, and last weekend my band met with me and called me out on it. I told them how I would try my hardest and I was just afraid of getting fat again that's why I was being extremely careful about what I ate and what I did regarding food around them.

I didn't tell them about my eating disorder, however a close friend that's in the band knows about it, and after they left the room that night. I basically spent 45 minutes crying alone with him in that room about how shi**y my life was going with the ED and how it was taking away from my time with the band.

Anyways, long story short. I tried tonight guys, I really did. But after I got that text, my will to eat just was zilch. The last thing I wanted to do was eat, I just wanted (and still do) to just break down and ask god why I everything keeps getting taken away from me because of this fuking disorder. It's killing me. I can't take it anymore.

/rant

The Eats for Today

Soup -


Chicken and Mahi/Mahi Fajittas with Bell Peppers/Green Peppers/ Onions and brown rice on the side.


Also had some chicken/shrimp from my moms plate.
I ate half the brown rice on the plate. Go ahead and flame me for being "scared", I just potentially lost the last thing that had me leading a semi normal teenage life.


I'll probably have some cottage cheese tonight If I feel hungry, but honestly I'm broken guys. I failed, this is destroying my life.

Erik

[MJFan1]

Damn man that's just horrible.. Good luck with everything bro.

[ErikTheElectric]

Thanks Man.

[rosiehungt]

yous still to skinny woow you bones are popping out put some muscules on

[ErikTheElectric]

yous still to skinny woow you bones are popping out put some muscules on

Read the Title of the thread, and stop being ignorant.. Troll.

[Fututre117]

damn man im sorry to hear that this eating disorder is really getting out of hand to be honest with you man.. i dont think were the right people to be coming at this with we are just guys that like working out. i strongly suggest going to talk to a real therapist and seeking out some real help. this thing is really getting out of hand. we all want to see you succeed but as time is passing it seems as if it is only getting worse. i hate to see someone as young as you like this and obessing over food that much and letting it get in the way of playing with your band? you only have one life man do you realize that? your young live it for gods sakes. i strongly strongly suggest seeking proffesional help before your teen years pass you by with no memories and no friends. 20 years from now will it really matter if you had that amazing six pack or if you ate clean every damn day of your life. make some memories with friends eat whatever you want in moderation and live your life man

[baco_bacon]

damn man im sorry to hear that this eating disorder is really getting out of hand to be honest with you man.. i dont think were the right people to be coming at this with we are just guys that like working out. i strongly suggest going to talk to a real therapist and seeking out some real help. this thing is really getting out of hand. we all want to see you succeed but as time is passing it seems as if it is only getting worse

This man.. Get to the doctor, talk to a nutritionist. They immediately had me sent to Childrens Hospital where I was then hooked up with IV's and stayed overnight for 3 days. They WILL talk to you and they WILL help you with EVERYTHING. Everything will turn out all right. Please, it's terrible watching others struggle because I've been in the same exact ****ing boat.

[TitanFB11]

damn erik sorry bout what happened bud,but youhave to either see help or get over this soon. if you cant do it within a month or 2 id say its time for help.

it took me about just short of a yr to get over mine completley. idk how long yours has been going on but if its already past a yr going close to 2, its time for pro. help.

i hate saying that because i personlly dont like getting help because i feel i lost the battle with myself. i didnt wanna know that i lost to something, a thought, that isnt true whatsoever. but i knew if i couldnt stop sooner or later id go wether i wanted to or not.

you have to say to your self, by (insert date) if im not over this, i need to go. show it to parents and make a promise. if your not over it by the date, you must go. no questions or excuses. this is a a disorder. somthing your thinking that isnt even true. it really isnt. and to make yourself sick from a simple thought that isnt true, isnt nessicary and sad and somthing no 1 deserves.

just rememeber tho, you CAN get over it without help. because its YOU battling YOU. when YOU decided that your thoughts are wrong, YOU win. period.

[MJFan1]

damn man im sorry to hear that this eating disorder is really getting out of hand to be honest with you man.. i dont think were the right people to be coming at this with we are just guys that like working out. i strongly suggest going to talk to a real therapist and seeking out some real help. this thing is really getting out of hand. we all want to see you succeed but as time is passing it seems as if it is only getting worse. i hate to see someone as young as you like this and obessing over food that much and letting it get in the way of playing with your band? you only have one life man do you realize that? your young live it for gods sakes. i strongly strongly suggest seeking proffesional help before your teen years pass you by with no memories and no friends. 20 years from now will it really matter if you had that amazing six pack or if you ate clean every damn day of your life. make some memories with friends eat whatever you want in moderation and live your life man

This man.. Get to the doctor, talk to a nutritionist. They immediately had me sent to Childrens Hospital where I was then hooked up with IV's and stayed overnight for 3 days. They WILL talk to you and they WILL help you with EVERYTHING. Everything will turn out all right. Please, it's terrible watching others struggle because I've been in the same exact ****ing boat.

damn erik sorry bout what happened bud,but youhave to either see help or get over this soon. if you cant do it within a month or 2 id say its time for help.

it took me about just short of a yr to get over mine completley. idk how long yours has been going on but if its already past a yr going close to 2, its time for pro. help.

i hate saying that because i personlly dont like getting help because i feel i lost the battle with myself. i didnt wanna know that i lost to something, a thought, that isnt true whatsoever. but i knew if i couldnt stop sooner or later id go wether i wanted to or not.

you have to say to your self, by (insert date) if im not over this, i need to go. show it to parents and make a promise. if your not over it by the date, you must go. no questions or excuses. this is a a disorder. somthing your thinking that isnt even true. it really isnt. and to make yourself sick from a simple thought that isnt true, isnt nessicary and sad and somthing no 1 deserves.

just rememeber tho, you CAN get over it without help. because its YOU battling YOU. when YOU decided that your thoughts are wrong, YOU win. period.

This is all great advice Erik, please try to get some professional help if this continues.

[Flyin Ryan]

damn erik sorry bout what happened bud,but youhave to either see help or get over this soon. if you cant do it within a month or 2 id say its time for help.

Above statement bolded for emphasis.

If your progress is not leaps and bounds better by July 28th (exactly one month from now), I'd STRONGLY advise checking yourself into a hospital.

[ErikTheElectric]

Thanks everybody for the words of advice and motivation.

I just got back from the gym after my first day on the new routine, and it's really cleared up my mind. I think I will do (As Ryan) said and give it until July 28th, and If I've not made significant progress by then. I'm going to seek professional help.

But for now, I want to prove to all of you and most importantly MYSELF that I CAN beat this on my own.

Again, thanks everybody for reading my log and for the words of advice. I'll try and update my log and tell you all how my workout went (Sets, Reps, ect.)
Haven't had anything to eat today, the last thing I want to do right now is eat. But I know that I have to if I want to beat this thing.

Thanks

Erik

[MJFan1]

Thanks everybody for the words of advice and motivation.

I just got back from the gym after my first day on the new routine, and it's really cleared up my mind. I think I will do (As Ryan) said and give it until July 28th, and If I've not made significant progress by then. I'm going to seek professional help.

But for now, I want to prove to all of you and most importantly MYSELF that I CAN beat this on my own.

Again, thanks everybody for reading my log and for the words of advice. I'll try and update my log and tell you all how my workout went (Sets, Reps, ect.)
Haven't had anything to eat today, the last thing I want to do right now is eat. But I know that I have to if I want to beat this thing.

Thanks

Erik

Good luck, you trained fasted? Isn't your energy a little low right now?

[Gesou]

Good luck is really the only thing I can say, the above posts from other forum members, esp. Ryan and Titan sums up what I also think is best.

Again, good luck, you can do this!

[Flyin Ryan]

Good luck, you trained fasted? Isn't your energy a little low right now?

Gah, another astute observation.
If you trained fasted, you better get food in you ASAP... otherwise your muscles will slowly start to break down even further. Especially since I'm sure you're not taking any BCAAs during your workout [although maybe I'm wrong].

Whats on the breakfast menu, bud? Maybe a big bowl of oatmeal? Maybe a few eggs with turkey sausage and cheese? Mmmmm.

[TitanFB11]

Thanks everybody for the words of advice and motivation.

I just got back from the gym after my first day on the new routine, and it's really cleared up my mind. I think I will do (As Ryan) said and give it until July 28th, and If I've not made significant progress by then. I'm going to seek professional help.

But for now, I want to prove to all of you and most importantly MYSELF that I CAN beat this on my own.

Again, thanks everybody for reading my log and for the words of advice. I'll try and update my log and tell you all how my workout went (Sets, Reps, ect.)
Haven't had anything to eat today, the last thing I want to do right now is eat. But I know that I have to if I want to beat this thing.

Thanks

Erik

heres a tip, DONT TRAIN FASTED lol.


me personally, most days after im done lifting it takes an hour or 2 b4 i have a appetitie to eat again. so better of eating something first then lifting. plus your already not eating many calories or carbs so glycogen stores arent prolly full, that pluss going however many hours of sleep you got without any calories or nutrients will deff cause catabolism and workout intensity/strength to suffer.

make a good breakfast! have a variety as well to allow you to enojy more kinds of food! hasbrowns,sausage,eggs,oats,grits,cheese,bacon,ste ak (yes steak),fruits,milk,nuts,yogurt can all make a win breakfast!

[Scooter4]

Yeah, I feel like cardio is EXTREMELY important for overall health and my heart.

No. Cardio is horrible for your health right now. Five minutes warm-up before you workout. That is all you get.

I'm not planning on eating like this everyday, but today I had NO appetite and I'm not really sure why. But hey I've been feeling ALOT better these past few days for the first time in over 3 months and I'm liking it. I'm setting the MINIMUM Caloric intake for me everyday at 1800-1900 calories. I HAVE to hit that number everyday, along with a direct carb and fat source to get over that "fear" of eating carbs again, which I feel like I made significant progress on tonight.

Stop using having no appetite as an excuse for not eating enough. Your body has been under eating for the last year. It is used to not being given any energy or food. Force feed yourself if you have to. Eat a whole jar of peanut butter on top of your other foods. Not even kidding you Erik. That isn't out of the question at this point.

And screw poptarts man, heh.

EAT THE POPTARTS!

By the way...

Reppin BB.com

[IMG]http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/347/img0972e.jpg[IMG]

You want to truly rep BB.com? GAIN some damn weight. Hate to break it to you, but people are going to laugh in your face for wearing a BODYBUILDING sweatshirt at 130lbs.

They are all going to be upped "slowly but surely", and I'm looking at a minimum of 1800-1900 calories per day for the next up coming week.

Get the thought that you will slowly raise calories out of your damn mind. You need to put on some weight. Fat, muscle, I dont fawking care. Your life is at risk here.

I literally have NO appetite throughout the day. I can't just stuff food into my mouth. Like a mindless zombie. Which leads me to my next point.

3) I'm going to look into an "IF" style diet, as it seems more appropriate for my lifestyle, and it's helped many others suffering from an ED get out of that way of thinking. Also, my medication REALLY cuts my appetite and I'm not hungry at ALL throughout the day. But, to clear something up first. When I'm hungry, I CAN eat. It unfortunately always revolved around me stuffing pounds of veggies into my mouth instead of carbs and fat that I need. Trust me bro, when I can eat over 4 pounds of lean chicken, broccoli, fish, brussel sprouts, spinach, jalapeno peppers, onions, and green beans all in one sitting along with a gallon of water, which was what I used to do, and wake up 2 pounds heavier the next morning. I'm SURE I can eat big. It's all about flipping the "switch" though, and getting more comfortable around fats and carbs. Instead of being "scared" of them, which everybody is trying to get me to do.[/left]

You aren't ready for IF'ing yet until you get better. You always complain about not being able to eat a lot because you get full too easily. How in the fawk will IF'ing help that problem?

Also, stop using not being hungry as an excuse. PEANUT BUTTER!

Today..

Is a much needed rest day. After working out for the past 3 days I feel beat too sh*t. My legs are sore as hell. Now It's been said before that you "Grow outside of the gym and on the dinner table". So, that being said.
-Should I try and up my calories on rest days more than usual?
-What should be the plan?
-What about activity levels on rest days, If I'm lifting 4 days a week with cardio before each lift?

Thanks
Erik

Eat the same every day. Eat A LOT every day.

I have NO idea/appetite as of this moment. But I don't know if any of you watch the food network/travel channel.

But Giada De Laurentiis, just made the best damn looking food ever. Ugghh. hahaha

I watch man vs food literally everyday. I've got every episode pretty much recorded downstairs.

It's because you are obsessed with food. You are starving yourself every day and need some way to cope. Do yourself a favor and make your own Man vs. Food styled food.

I'll pay you for some of those stuff if you're going to throw them away, especially the Artic Zero Ice Cream.

Not something you should be eating.

Well, everybody personally I thought about just ignoring the log for today, as I was hit with a pretty shattering decision that was made in my life today. I honestly feel like total crap right now and I don't want any of you to think this is something that should be just "shrugged" off in any way.

Everything was going fine today. I woke up, late. Figured I'd have lunch again. Afterall, I had that soup from the night before. Anyways I had that. Easy 400-500 calories right there.
And figured I'd meet me my mom for dinner again.
I planned on a big meal, free from worry or fear of food, and as soon as I sat down I was ready to conquer the dinner plate.
Mid-Way through the meal I get a text message..

"As of this moment, us and the band have decided that you are temporarily suspended from the band. And we are having someone fill in for you for the show this weekend. Sorry Erik. We feel that this is best for you, and until you get your priorities straightened out. We can't continue it with you."

So In case your all wondering what this co-relates too. I'm in a high school "Metal" band and we were set to play a local venue this weekend called "**** San Diego". It's pretty much the biggest venue you can play at if your an Unsigned band.

Anyways, for the past 3-4 months my working out obsession and eating disorder have pushed me away from my love of music, and last weekend my band met with me and called me out on it. I told them how I would try my hardest and I was just afraid of getting fat again that's why I was being extremely careful about what I ate and what I did regarding food around them.

I didn't tell them about my eating disorder, however a close friend that's in the band knows about it, and after they left the room that night. I basically spent 45 minutes crying alone with him in that room about how shi**y my life was going with the ED and how it was taking away from my time with the band.

Anyways, long story short. I tried tonight guys, I really did. But after I got that text, my will to eat just was zilch. The last thing I wanted to do was eat, I just wanted (and still do) to just break down and ask god why I everything keeps getting taken away from me because of this fuking disorder. It's killing me. I can't take it anymore.

/rant

The Eats for Today

Soup -
[IMG]http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/1097/img0980x.jpg[IMG]

Chicken and Mahi/Mahi Fajittas with Bell Peppers/Green Peppers/ Onions and brown rice on the side.
[IMG]http://img295.imageshack.us/img295/4738/img0982l.jpg[IMG]
[IMG]http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/3045/img0983f.jpg[IMG]
Also had some chicken/shrimp from my moms plate.
I ate half the brown rice on the plate. Go ahead and flame me for being "scared", I just potentially lost the last thing that had me leading a semi normal teenage life.


I'll probably have some cottage cheese tonight If I feel hungry, but honestly I'm broken guys. I failed, this is destroying my life.

Erik

Use that as fuel to get better. You know that starving yourself is ruining your damn life, and yet you continue to not eat anything. You know what you need to do to get your life back. Use these downfalls as fuel to eat more and get better.

Thanks everybody for the words of advice and motivation.

I just got back from the gym after my first day on the new routine, and it's really cleared up my mind. I think I will do (As Ryan) said and give it until July 28th, and If I've not made significant progress by then. I'm going to seek professional help.

But for now, I want to prove to all of you and most importantly MYSELF that I CAN beat this on my own.

Again, thanks everybody for reading my log and for the words of advice. I'll try and update my log and tell you all how my workout went (Sets, Reps, ect.)
Haven't had anything to eat today, the last thing I want to do right now is eat. But I know that I have to if I want to beat this thing.

Thanks

Erik

I disagree with Ryan on this point. You have been trying to beat this on your own for far too long. You need to seek professional help now.

[MJFan1]

No. Cardio is horrible for your health right now. Five minutes warm-up before you workout. That is all you get.



Stop using having no appetite as an excuse for not eating enough. Your body has been under eating for the last year. It is used to not being given any energy or food. Force feed yourself if you have to. Eat a whole jar of peanut butter on top of your other foods. Not even kidding you Erik. That isn't out of the question at this point.



EAT THE POPTARTS!



You want to truly rep BB.com? GAIN some damn weight. Hate to break it to you, but people are going to laugh in your face for wearing a BODYBUILDING sweatshirt at 130lbs.



Get the thought that you will slowly raise calories out of your damn mind. You need to put on some weight. Fat, muscle, I dont fawking care. Your life is at risk here.



You aren't ready for IF'ing yet until you get better. You always complain about not being able to eat a lot because you get full too easily. How in the fawk will IF'ing help that problem?

Also, stop using not being hungry as an excuse. PEANUT BUTTER!



Eat the same every day. Eat A LOT every day.



It's because you are obsessed with food. You are starving yourself every day and need some way to cope. Do yourself a favor and make your own Man vs. Food styled food.



Not something you should be eating.



Use that as fuel to get better. You know that starving yourself is ruining your damn life, and yet you continue to not eat anything. You know what you need to do to get your life back. Use these downfalls and fuel to eat more and get better.



I disagree with Ryan on this point. You have been trying to beat this on your own for far too long. You need to seek professional help now.

^
Perfectly said here.

If you were too skinny months ago when you where in the mid 140's, what makes you think it's alright to stay in the mid 130's right now? You won't look fat or horrible if you gain 10 pounds (even though you should gain more because of your height, etc) and most of it will probably be muscle anyway because you lift.

Eat, eat, eat!

And eat the poptarts too, they're damn tasty and are calorie dense.

And BTW -- Don't really care about the Artic Zero (I love Starbucks, BnJ, Edys, Breyers, etc).

[determined4000]

You set July 28th as a date to see help if you aren't recovering.
What metrics are you using to determine if you are recovering?
Will you just convince yourself you are doing better and put it off?

[Flyin Ryan]

Scooter, I commend you greatly.
I commend you for saying the things I was reluctant to say.

- The BB.com sweatshirt is a joke. I have a couple BB.com tee's, and even I feel a little silly wearing them sometimes, just because I'm not huge [yet]. If I saw a kid of Erik's figure wearing a BB.com sweatshirt, I'd laugh pretty damn hard. Just being honest.

- Cardio is pointless for Erik at this point in recovery. When I suggested strictly walking, I did it with the sense that he isn't going to listen to that part of my advice anyway. I've yet to be proven right or wrong. We'll see.

- Upping calories slowly is a stupid idea. You definitely need to start eating much more, bud. And soon, otherwise further damage is going to be done.

- MJFan: I have been lurking your blog and your eating habits concern me. Greatly. I think I'd have some support in that claim from people in this thread alone. Just saying. And I know... I know... I eat ice cream way too frequently and put candy in my oatmeal. I know. Changes are going to be made on my end as well.

- I'd eat the poptarts. What flavors you got, little man?

I know I may sound a bit contradictory in what I just said above compared to a couple others posts I've made. It's me fighting a battle with myself to be honest without being too critical. However, time is running out for me being Mr. Motivation.

Erik, dude, you need to start eating. Otherwise you're going to end up hospitalized or dead before you see the age of 17. Serious.

[nmsk80066]

This man.. Get to the doctor, talk to a nutritionist. They immediately had me sent to Childrens Hospital where I was then hooked up with IV's and stayed overnight for 3 days. They WILL talk to you and they WILL help you with EVERYTHING. Everything will turn out all right. Please, it's terrible watching others struggle because I've been in the same exact ****ing boat.

baco and i have gone through similar things, man. you really need to hear everyone out and just go for it. i'll use baco and i as examples..

i myself obsessed over exercising for about a year. i tryed to eat clean all of the time, doing similar things to you - eating just loads of vegetables, some protein, low-fat products because i was scared of fat. i ran around the block a couple of times if i ate one bite too much, which was actually one thousand bites too little.

this was at the cost of my social life, i didn't go out with friends because i knew i couldn't eat like i was doing at home there. i lifted five days a week with too much volume, no deloading and sometimes improper form. i suffer from achy knees because of squatting on my toes all of the time.

i ended up breaking up with my girlfriend for a while (we are back together now, wait for end of story) because i said i had too much going on in my life. what i really meant by that was i have an eating disorder that i am obsessed with. this is a disease and i can't break the habit. do you know how much it hurts when i sometimes think about how i ended our relationship because of something i couldn't control? it wasn't even anything to do with her..

i lost all sex drive in this time and had not one erection. you say you want to do normal teenage things, right? one of them would be masturbating, yes i'm serious. i didn't do that at all because of my food intake stopping my hormones, which i luckily got back without struggle once i started eating correctly. this means no fear, no limiting yourself.

i took a good look at myself in the mirror, depressed, at my bone thin forearms while all of the time feeling weak. i thought it was time for a change.

i started going out with friends but i took food where i went, packed in in little bags. i never ate a family dinner or enjoyed a holiday - always making my own food.

eventually, i started eating more. i was getting stronger but not out of the taking food with me habit. it was making me feel awkward all of the time too.

well blah blah blah, slowly but surely i've gotten over all fears by myself. only thing i make sure to do every day is to get enough food in myself to grow and enough protein. i never take food anywhere, nothing is off limits besides stuff that is absolutely horrible for you. know what's happened? i've never been stronger, and i'm still lean with visible abs which it seems like you desire. also, i've got my best friend, my girlfriend, back. and we are better than ever.

you will gain weight, it's what you need. you'll gain muscle. i'm sure some of your organs need to put some fat around them. are you cold a lot? i was. freezing. i remember i wanted to go out to a friends party one time but couldn't make it because i couldn't stop shivering.

i have a low appetite as well. you know what i'm sure a lot of us do, especially those eating more than 4k calories everyday you must get sick of it sometimes. don't be a bitch about it - what do you want, to be healthy or not. it's your decision. if you want healthy, eat the ****ing food.

i overcame it myself, you may need something like baco and have treatment. either way it's not easy, but it needs to be done.

Erik, dude, you need to start eating. Otherwise you're going to end up hospitalized or dead before you see the age of 17. Serious.

is this really what you want?

[determined4000]

- Cardio is pointless for Erik at this point in recovery. When I suggested strictly walking, I did it with the sense that he isn't going to listen to that part of my advice anyway. I've yet to be proven right or wrong. We'll see.

Disagree. It is not pointless...

It is DETRIMENTAL at this point. You are tearing yourself down without any fuel to build back up.
Erik look at my post in the ED thread. Two posts one on overtraining (post with the two pics) and one from yesterday about how undereating and overexercising=fat storing machine.

- Upping calories slowly is a stupid idea. You definitely need to start eating much more, bud. And soon, otherwise further damage is going to be done.

The longer you wait to increase, the longer it is for your metabolism to restore.

- MJFan: I have been lurking your blog and your eating habits concern me. Greatly. I think I'd have some support in that claim from people in this thread alone. Just saying. And I know... I know... I eat ice cream way too frequently and put candy in my oatmeal. I know. Changes are going to be made on my end as well.

There is a difference between eating ice cream each day. And eating nothing but jun each day. MJ, you only eat junk and seem to think it is fine as long as you are getting some protein. You are wrong. You are so much like Erik in that you keep saying "tomorrow I will change" or "it isn't that bad" because yada yada yada. You say I didn;t wae up in time or my parents won't buy me a healthy food, Erik says he wasn't hungry so he doesnt eat. Two sides of the same coin.

- I'd eat the poptarts. What flavors you got, little man?

This is kind of pointless. There is no way in Hell Erik is eating a crumb from a poptart. At this point he views it as poison.

Erik, dude, you need to start eating. Otherwise you're going to end up hospitalized or dead before you see the age of 17. Serious.

I was hospitalzed twice. I would say they were the worst experiences of my life. Except that the thing I most regret about my life is missing out on eight years of life because I was so consumed with my disorder. No day is fun. Not when all you thin about is calories, burning calories, what to eat, how to not eat, wondering why you have to work out more and eat less than others (and not enjoy the foods they do). It is all about finding a balance. You can't do this on your own. What you described with your band shows you are using your ED as a maladaptive coping mechanism. The only way to get over doing this type of thing is to get professional help. GET IT.

[ErikTheElectric]

Good luck, you trained fasted? Isn't your energy a little low right now?

Indeed.

ALOT of fawkin info.

Good to have you on my log again scooter.


Overall, I thank everybody very much for the words of advice. It's really enlightened me.
I did have a really good workout today and the eats as well as that will be updated later. But I have an assload of Homework from the 5 hours of classes that I had to sit through today and I'm dead tired.

Going to eat a Sh*tload of food tonight, and get this class work done. But I'd like to just give you all my schedule for the next 6 weeks. So you can all see how this effects my eating patterns.

6:30am - Wake up
7:00 - Shower - Drive to the gym
7:30/7:45 - Start working out
9:00/9:15 - Get done
9:45 - Get home and shower
10:30 - Get ready for school
10:45 - Drive to school
11:30 - School starts
5:00pm - School gets out

-After that its just homework and dinner. So from then on is when I have the greatest window to eat.
- I can't eat in class as much as I wish I could. But we cant.

That's it all. like I said, I've got loads of HW. But I'll be sure to update info bout today's workout and eats later.

Thanks all espically Scott, and nmski, and determined for the info!

Erik

[determined4000]

[left]6:30am - Wake up - drink shake
7:00 - Shower - Drive to the gym-take food with you for car ride
7:30/7:45 - Start working out
9:00/9:15 - Get done-eat on car ride home
9:45 - Get home and shower
10:30 - Get ready for school
10:45 - Drive to school eat on car ride again
11:30 - School starts
5:00pm - School gets out eat when you get home 3x

Erik, you told me you wanted to lof because it ept you accountable. That is all we are trying to do. But loo at all your posts. Excuse after excuse as to why you aren't eating. There is no legitimate reason you cant eat more frequently, more quantity, more fats/carbs, beyond the fact that you are afraid to. The only reason you want to IF, is so that you can restrict and save up calories for later, that you won't end up eating. You complain that you cant eat becuz you aren't hungry and get full so easily. That you cant force food down your throat. How do you thin you are going to pound down 2800 calories in a few hours when you cant do half that over 16 hours? Be honest with yourself.