Horrible Smelly Fart Stories

[YeaRightBuddy]

HAHA bfx that's pretty funny. My mom and I have a rule that we can fart next to each other and we don't make a big deal out of it all actually, we play around sometimes. It can be hard to retrain myself when I visit places, tho. Like when I'm at my uncle's/grandparents if I fart everyone looks at me and I'll usually look at the dog lmao.

I can't think of any fart stories atm but I got a good stink tale.

A few yrs ago my stepfather was moving into our apt so we brought in boxes of all his stuff and sorted through it. I was in the living room watching some family guy with my feet on the footrest in front of me.

My mom complains of something smelling nasty (they're about 20 feet away mind you) and start sniffing everything in those boxes. And there was A LOT of shiit there. Find nothing stinky. Go through it again. And again. Finally, the third time done my mom realizes it must be somethign else. She goes to the kitchen, shakes her head, and goes into the living room.

She takes a whiff, cringes, takes another, sniffing the furniture, the floor even...then she comes towards the footrest and the expression on her face is one of utter horror.

Turned out it was just my feet

WTF is your mom teaching you????

[Phil185]

I share a room with my brother and for dinner I had a TON of salmon and a protein shake. I went to bed about 15 minutes before him and in the morning he told me that the room was about 5 degrees warmer and it was the worst smell ever. He had to go downstairs to sleep.

[TB23]

Normally during school I'll hold my farts in because I have a personal rule against school/public bathrooms (just ****ting in them, not peeing). So half of the year I'll have the most compressed and smelly fart held up in my intestines for the later part of the school day, sometimes it hurts like fawk to hold it in.

One day in spanish class, we were taking a test and everyone was silent and I moved to adjust my seating position and BOOM that compressed fart just shot out like a cannon, loud fart, didn't smell too bad but no one acknowledged it, but I laughed at it for about 10 minutes.

Another story was from study hall, this senior who sat 2 rows away from me was sleeping with his head down while me and a friend were talking about something. I looked over at the senior (he has a reputation for bad hygiene) and he let out THE LOUDEST fart I've ever heard in my life (while he was sleeping) . He woke up from feeling his butt vibrate off of the chair, stood straight up and looked around (he knew he farted), no one said anything so he went back to sleep. I could not stop laughing for the rest of the period, I almost cried it was so funny

[Gibman]

it was gym class freshman year. The AC in the gym was broken, so they brought out a huge fan, to get some air circulating. BAD IDEA. I had just started drinking protein shakes, so i had never ending protein farts. I stood in front of the fan for a while, just releasing my payload. after about 15 minutes of non stop protein farts, the gym teacher yelled for us to leave the gym because the smell was so horrible. The fan had circulated the smell across the whole gymnasium. People were crying and gagging. When i told my friends, they congratulated me. It was a great honor for me, i had cleared out a whole gym! How many people can say they did that?!?!?!

i almost cried reading this. thank you man hahahhahahhahah

[tjn17]

actually i have a gift that makes me store all the farts of the day and release it at night to keep the mosquito away

[nkiritsis13]

HAHA bfx that's pretty funny. My mom and I have a rule that we can fart next to each other and we don't make a big deal out of it all actually, we play around sometimes. It can be hard to retrain myself when I visit places, tho. Like when I'm at my uncle's/grandparents if I fart everyone looks at me and I'll usually look at the dog lmao.

That reminds me of this one time I was in the park with my mom walking. At that time of the year there wasn't a whole lot of people around walking, it was mostly just a scattered few and a lot of small wildlife running about.
Nobody else was around but one popped. She just looked at me so I said er, it was the ducks... The next couple of times, I just started saying things like "the squirrels are having a fight" or "the ducks are #$*%ing" (because one time my dad and I saw an amorous male duck chasing a female around like crazy).

I suppose if you're around someone and they hear a loud one and say "what was that?" You could always blame it on a car backfiring.

[most_dedicated]

just came back from walmart
gettin some green tea and i let out this really nasty silent one
about 20 seconds later the entire half of the aisle stank like eggs, ass, and dead ****
haha best part is like 4 different people entered the aisle after my massive bomb went off and they all passed by with disgusted looks on their face haha

ive also had this one during a computer class that smelled so bad everyone on my side of the room had to walk away while i sat there laughing my ass off

everyone likes their own brand





























except when theyre so bad u have to leave ur own room...

[bigo72]

7 whole eggs + 3 sausage links + protein shake = horrible idea

[BFX43]

7 whole eggs + 3 sausage links + protein shake = horrible idea

sounds like a great idea to me!!

[bigo72]

sounds like a great idea to me!!

Well, horrible repercussions...

[BFX43]

Well, horrible repercussions...

i can picture the "repercussions," and i think i can win the farting contest i have next week with those "repercussions." Thanks for the recipe.

[BFX43]

just came back from walmart
gettin some green tea and i let out this really nasty silent one
about 20 seconds later the entire half of the aisle stank like eggs, ass, and dead ****
haha best part is like 4 different people entered the aisle after my massive bomb went off and they all passed by with disgusted looks on their face haha

ive also had this one during a computer class that smelled so bad everyone on my side of the room had to walk away while i sat there laughing my ass off

everyone likes their own brand
except when theyre so bad u have to leave ur own room...

lol great story. and its great when your brand is so bad that you cant take it, that means the effect will be even worse on others.

[paolo234]

Took an AP exam in a gym, had to be silent for 4 hours. -______________- w/ 250 other students.

oh man that was hard.
but i held it in ;D and farted when walking out haha.

[BFX43]

Took an AP exam in a gym, had to be silent for 4 hours. -______________- w/ 250 other students.

oh man that was hard.
but i held it in ;D and farted when walking out haha.

man, you should have released it in the gym!

[GavinT]

Bottom Burp
Cut the Cheese
Trouser Cough
Speak up Brown, ya through
Turd Honking
A message from Turd Castle
Trump
Pieru
Trouser Ghost
Heinee Burp
(floating an) Air biscuit
Janet
Phoofs
Poots
Blast
Woofer
Fluff
Stepping on a duck
Mud duck
A prelude to ****
Framping
Barking spider
A message from ****
Thunder from down under
Nature's little surprises
Nature's musical box
There goes a mouse on a motorcycle
Oops! I let Fluffy off the leash
A sneeze from the turtle's head
Tree frog
Panty Burps
Pant stainers !
Speak to me ol' toothless one
Tooters
Gassius Assius
Bucksnort
Who dropped their guts?
Turds slamming on the brakes
Flatulence
Crack splitters
Butt burner
Botty burp
Fecal Fluffies
Anal AudioThe Brown River!
Anal Airwaves
**** Slivers
Turd Tooties
Happy Honkers
Barked
Trouser Rippers
Hotties
Disappointments from down under
Natural Gas
Chinese Barking Spiders
Bench Warmer
"I smell sulfur, wait a minute, that's my ass!"
**** snore
Draw Mud
"Dropped a shoe"
Bips
Stinkies
The Great Brown Cloud
"Thar she blows!"
"Cracking a rat"
"grep"
One turd honking at another for the right of way!
Rosebuds
Pull my finger
Rat Bark
Ooh, that's a nasty cough
Who opened their lunch box?
S.B.D. Silent but deadly
Exercising the meat nozzle
Exploding turds
Firing Scud Missiles
Quakers - 9.5 on the Rectal Scale!
Nuclear Farts- 40% fallout
Blow-Holes
S.A.V. Silent and Violent
Cheesers
My butt has something to say
Blowing the ol butt trumpet
Silence in the court, my bums about to talk...
**** Siren
Mud crickets
Underthunder
Gravy pants
Shootin' Bunnies
Who stepped on the Duck
Sidewinder
Makin' Beans
Blowing Mud

[paolo234]

man, you should have released it in the gym!

haha if i would, they might have took my exam away x) haha