mom's... help me out

[Gumby_00000]

So my wife is a couple months pregnant and is still hot as hell. she used to do exercise videos and whatnot 6 days a week, now that she is tired all the time she doesnt have the energy to do it very much.

I need some help understanding how to motivate her without being a jerk about it. she has always liked me keeping a flame under her butt about staying fit, but its a whole new ball game now. After the pregnancy im sure she(me too) will want her to get back into shape...but I certainly will not be the one to tell her to, what are some ways I can help her stay as sexy as she has always been?

At some point I would like to introduce her to this site and hopefull she can find the same type of motivation on here as I do.

[sonti]

My baby is 10 days old.

I would suggest you back off - seriously. There's keeping active, and then there is recognizing that pregnancy gets tiring.

[Gumby_00000]

My baby is 10 days old.

I would suggest you back off - seriously. There's keeping active, and then there is recognizing that pregnancy gets tiring.

I cant argue with someone who has a newborn...I will heed the advice...To save any sense of dignity I have left, I havent been pushy at all, I am trying very hard to let her control both of our lives right now. so far she has been a VeRy pleasant person to be around...I would say she has definitly gotten nicer...I dont know how but she has=)

[Rowyn]

So my wife is a couple months pregnant and is still hot as hell. she used to do exercise videos and whatnot 6 days a week, now that she is tired all the time she doesnt have the energy to do it very much.

I need some help understanding how to motivate her without being a jerk about it. she has always liked me keeping a flame under her butt about staying fit, but its a whole new ball game now. After the pregnancy im sure she(me too) will want her to get back into shape...but I certainly will not be the one to tell her to, what are some ways I can help her stay as sexy as she has always been?

At some point I would like to introduce her to this site and hopefull she can find the same type of motivation on here as I do.

The first trimester is VERY tiring, even though it looks like nothing is going on yet. The hormonal changes really slow you down, make you feel sleepy, no energy. Sometimes even if you are not actually getting sick,you can just feel "off" all day long. Its not fun. Give her another month. The second trimester is generally much better and she will most probably get some energy and motivation back.

However, don't get pushy with it, lol. She's hormonal, this is her first pregnancy, her body is going to start to change and some women have a hard time with that. If she feels critiqued at all, it will make her feel worse. This is not the time to light the fire under her butt about working out, its time to pamper her and make her feel special. Some women work out the entire time and others do not, despite their best intentions. Some gain lots of weight, others don't. Its very individual, even to each pregnancy.

Just let her be. The best way to make her feel sexy (ie comfortable with her changing body) is to let her know how special this is, the changes are awe inspiring, she's doing great, she looks beautiful carrying your child (even when her face and feet are swollen as heck)...but rushing her right past mommyhood and back into fitness shape is NOT going to make her feel too appreciated. She will do it herself in her own time. Remember, it takes 10 months to get that shape, she is not going to magically turn back into glamour goddess after 6 weeks (like the Hollywood starlets with the chefs and nannies and personal trainers).

[rockangel]

The first trimester is VERY tiring, even though it looks like nothing is going on yet. The hormonal changes really slow you down, make you feel sleepy, no energy. Sometimes even if you are not actually getting sick,you can just feel "off" all day long. Its not fun. Give her another month. The second trimester is generally much better and she will most probably get some energy and motivation back.

However, don't get pushy with it, lol. She's hormonal, this is her first pregnancy, her body is going to start to change and some women have a hard time with that. If she feels critiqued at all, it will make her feel worse. This is not the time to light the fire under her butt about working out, its time to pamper her and make her feel special. Some women work out the entire time and others do not, despite their best intentions. Some gain lots of weight, others don't. Its very individual, even to each pregnancy.

Just let her be. The best way to make her feel sexy (ie comfortable with her changing body) is to let her know how special this is, the changes are awe inspiring, she's doing great, she looks beautiful carrying your child (even when her face and feet are swollen as heck)...but rushing her right past mommyhood and back into fitness shape is NOT going to make her feel too appreciated. She will do it herself in her own time. Remember, it takes 10 months to get that shape, she is not going to magically turn back into glamour goddess after 6 weeks (like the Hollywood starlets with the chefs and nannies and personal trainers).

I agree, give her time and let her decide when she is ready to pick the pace up again.
For me, the first 3 months all i did was puke and sleep. It was awfull!!!
Both of them were so hard for me, that I will never be pregnant again. And thank goodness my hubby understands how hard being pregnant is on me physically, emotionally, and mentally that he is not even willing to think about me doing it again. (for the record, love my kids, just hate being preggo..)
Its likely that in the second trimester she will feel more energized and ready to do things and then the third part may see her being tired again. So jusy go with the flow. I promise you her body knows what it needs to create and nurture life. And she will easily bounce back afterwards if she is as motivated about it as you believe her to be.
Good luck to you both!

[Gumby_00000]

it takes 10 months to get that shape, she is not going to magically turn back into glamour goddess after 6 weeks (like the Hollywood starlets with the chefs and nannies and personal trainers).

HAHA, that is a huge pet peeve of her lol. But thank you very much for the advice, This is definitly a learning process for me too. I have no problem backing off, I am loving watching her change...kind of wierd but it definitlty makes me proud=)

thanks again

[Gumby_00000]

I agree, give her time and let her decide when she is ready to pick the pace up again.
For me, the first 3 months all i did was puke and sleep. It was awfull!!!
Both of them were so hard for me, that I will never be pregnant again. And thank goodness my hubby understands how hard being pregnant is on me physically, emotionally, and mentally that he is not even willing to think about me doing it again. (for the record, love my kids, just hate being preggo..)
Its likely that in the second trimester she will feel more energized and ready to do things and then the third part may see her being tired again. So jusy go with the flow. I promise you her body knows what it needs to create and nurture life. And she will easily bounce back afterwards if she is as motivated about it as you believe her to be.
Good luck to you both!

thanks a bunch...by the way tell your husband thanks for the service....My wife is an airforce wifeyy

[rockangel]

thanks a bunch...by the way tell your husband thanks for the service....My wife is an airforce wifeyy

Will tell him.

My grandfather is retired air force. So my dad, an airforce brat, joined the army. Me an army brat for a few years, married navy. Fun how it all works out!!

And thank you for you and your family's service as well!

[Rozlyn27]

My baby is 10 days old.

I would suggest you back off - seriously. There's keeping active, and then there is recognizing that pregnancy gets tiring.

Congrats! I've been seeing your posts over the last few months all over the forum!



OP - Like all the other ladies have said, the first trimester is beyond tiring. For the first four months, I slept, puked and wondered what I had done to deserve it. Besides the way to not gain extra fat during pregnancy is to remember you don't get to eat the WHOLE cake just cause you're eating for two :P

Good luck to you and your wife!

[kudostojen]

You seem to be on the right track and very understanding, that will go a long way.

...and yes, the first trimester is exhausting and can include dizzy spells as well. Me and my hubby at the time were moving and he had to do all the work. Not kidding at all. I could barely move i was so exhausted.

[eyelashes]

Was she passionate or driven to exercise and be fit prior to the pregnancy? If she wasn't, I would not expect that to be anywhere on her radar at this point.

[mariplay2004]

all is well with your wife, pregnancy's are very different, some are more difficult than others.
Just remember to help her as much as you can . keep on beeing supportive .She will exercise as soon as she feels she has energy, if you notice that she's still very tired, offer to take walks with her . good luck

[Jmom]

I do understand the part of your concern regarding that she was exercising regularly and now she has stopped (?) so I'll throw in some thoughts... I do agree with others that, yes, the first trimester can be a b*tch, especially due to the dramatic hormonal changes. Even coming to terms mentally with being pregnant in and of itself can throw you for a loop regarding sorting out expectations, changing roles, fears, hopes, impact on your relationship with your spouse,etc.,.etc.,etc.

I agree with everyone here to take your cues from her and if and when she brings the subject up you can point her to many sites on the net to do her own research to assure her about not only what she is experiencing, but also how exercise (more so for someone who was already exercising) can help alleviate fatigue, morning sickness, stress, stabilize some of those "hormonal" emotion waves, etc., etc. but again, I agree with all that you should only follow her cues and instead more importantly focus on learning more yourself about pregnancy and what to expect,etc. by reading up on the net and/or ask her ObGyn for materials. The better educated you are, the more you can help and support her through the amazing ride of pregnancy! Most of all just love her and be supportive!!!

Just my two cents and best wishes!

[Eileen]

I spent the first four months either puking or sleeping. My DH rang me every half hour so I could phone in copy to different papers, and I was well aware that every half hour nap was costing me €30 apiece, and I still went back to sleep. I only ever seemed to wake up to pee.

Once that stage was over, I was back on the bike and exercising as normal, and stayed active right up until I gave birth.

[Gumby_00000]

thank you all for the advice=)

to answer some questions, yes, she was very motivated to work out before the pregnancy...however since then she has not even started a converstaion with me about exercising. Im sure she will when she is ready. Do you think it could be bothering her that I have started going to the gym 5-6 days a week(im skinny and feel like i need to get fit to protect my new family). I have been seeing improvements, i havnt thought about it but what do you all think??? would it bother you?


i was also unaware that exercise can balance her hormones, im going to read up on that and maybe see if I can bring it up sometime=)

She did wake up abnormally early the other day and went on a wolk...now I feel stupid for not noticing/caring, I should have got my lazy butt up and went with her...next time I will for sure!

thanks again for all the support..

[glu]

Try not to worry about it. Just be supportive, and if it is in her nature to be active and fit, then she'll get back on the ball when she feels well enough to, or possibly wait till after she has the baby.

With my oldest, I hired a personal trainer/friend to drag me to the gym. After a few sessions, I started hiding from him lol. I just couldn't cut it. With my youngest, I tried to go for a walk every now and then, but I was seriously beat and had terrible morning-noon-night sickness. Every pregnancy is different. Be careful of making too many "helpful suggestions". You don't want to make her feel insecure, or start to worry that you will care for her less or be less attracted to her etc.

Going for a walk with her is great. Be supportive when she wants to do something, but let her bring those things up when she's ready.

[BroBrahBruh]

^this