I can't stop comparing.

[maxometer]

I just can't win. I've been taking a break from weight lifting, going to see some docs for some therapy stuffs see if that can additionally help as half of everything is totally cerebral. Amazingly I feel like I look better than I was before? Idk, now when I flex my stomach I swear I see the whole "dippy" arrow thing on the lower abs to the groin whereas before I had to do a whole lot more to make it sorta show up. Still have a bit of a stomach around the bellybutton....yet despite this, I just, feel so blah about how I look.

Sometimes I think I look good, like the other day I actually did yardwork (lots of yardwork) without a shirt to work on a tan and wasn't repulsed when i saw myself in a window or on the glass of the back door or whatever but then like today I notice how skinnier a co-worker is and I just get struck with how much I'd rather look like him and then I start beating myself up again for just being too big.

I just can't stop comparing. I'm 6 ft 2 and 195-200 lbs, with wide shoulders and a broad chest- I shouldn't be feeling inadequate at all and yet I trash my body frame for being too big.

1. How can I stop comparing? I can't even look at some of you guys without getting discouraged. I'm not even aiming for really built AT ALL. Some of your "starting" photos or near starting photos are what I want.

2. For my height and I guess if you can judge by my pics, what would be a good look to aim for for my build, because I think what I want might not be physically feasible for my build at all (rather someone thin most likely) and I'd rather have an outsider say " you could easily look like this in x months" and provide an example for me because then my objectivity is left out.

Thanks guys, hope everyone's summers are going okay...

[lanolar]

Its a tough answer man. You need to try to focus on your own positives vs how you "compare". There will always be someone better looking, better hair, better build, smarter, etc etc. Its a big world. Focus on what you can control. Your own body, your attitude, your job, etc. You have PLENTY going for you trust me. hell your young, you are tall ( I would kill to be 6'2 bro), you already have a decent build.
Focus on improving yourself and in the end you will be much happier for it. Focusing on your negatives and short comings vs others is a road that will never make you happy.

I just can't win. I've been taking a break from weight lifting, going to see some docs for some therapy stuffs see if that can additionally help as half of everything is totally cerebral. Amazingly I feel like I look better than I was before? Idk, now when I flex my stomach I swear I see the whole "dippy" arrow thing on the lower abs to the groin whereas before I had to do a whole lot more to make it sorta show up. Still have a bit of a stomach around the bellybutton....yet despite this, I just, feel so blah about how I look.

Sometimes I think I look good, like the other day I actually did yardwork (lots of yardwork) without a shirt to work on a tan and wasn't repulsed when i saw myself in a window or on the glass of the back door or whatever but then like today I notice how skinnier a co-worker is and I just get struck with how much I'd rather look like him and then I start beating myself up again for just being too big.

I just can't stop comparing. I'm 6 ft 2 and 195-200 lbs, with wide shoulders and a broad chest- I shouldn't be feeling inadequate at all and yet I trash my body frame for being too big.

1. How can I stop comparing? I can't even look at some of you guys without getting discouraged. I'm not even aiming for really built AT ALL. Some of your "starting" photos or near starting photos are what I want.

2. For my height and I guess if you can judge by my pics, what would be a good look to aim for for my build, because I think what I want might not be physically feasible for my build at all (rather someone thin most likely) and I'd rather have an outsider say " you could easily look like this in x months" and provide an example for me because then my objectivity is left out.

Thanks guys, hope everyone's summers are going okay...

[seifelbadrawy]

I just can't win. I've been taking a break from weight lifting, going to see some docs for some therapy stuffs see if that can additionally help as half of everything is totally cerebral. Amazingly I feel like I look better than I was before? Idk, now when I flex my stomach I swear I see the whole "dippy" arrow thing on the lower abs to the groin whereas before I had to do a whole lot more to make it sorta show up. Still have a bit of a stomach around the bellybutton....yet despite this, I just, feel so blah about how I look.

Sometimes I think I look good, like the other day I actually did yardwork (lots of yardwork) without a shirt to work on a tan and wasn't repulsed when i saw myself in a window or on the glass of the back door or whatever but then like today I notice how skinnier a co-worker is and I just get struck with how much I'd rather look like him and then I start beating myself up again for just being too big.

I just can't stop comparing. I'm 6 ft 2 and 195-200 lbs, with wide shoulders and a broad chest- I shouldn't be feeling inadequate at all and yet I trash my body frame for being too big.

1. How can I stop comparing? I can't even look at some of you guys without getting discouraged. I'm not even aiming for really built AT ALL. Some of your "starting" photos or near starting photos are what I want.

2. For my height and I guess if you can judge by my pics, what would be a good look to aim for for my build, because I think what I want might not be physically feasible for my build at all (rather someone thin most likely) and I'd rather have an outsider say " you could easily look like this in x months" and provide an example for me because then my objectivity is left out.

Thanks guys, hope everyone's summers are going okay...

Dude.. your having some self-image problems.. First of all, your tall, 6'2,, thats a perfect height.. second of all your broad.. Those are two genetic attributes the vast majority of people don't have. All you have to work on is leaning down. as for looks, your not a bad looking guy.

Assuming your stats are correct your at the ideal weight for your height.. If you lean down, you'll look more jacked than you are because your naturally broad. you don't have narrow girly shoulders that most guys have. you should be proud of that.. who are you comparing yoruselves to exactly. Runway models? come on dude.. ya, there will always be people leaner than you. But thats a variable you can change if you have alot of self-discipline and if you have your **** together. If your not healthy emotionally, and mentally, then being physically healthy will be extremely difficult. I am not anywhere near as lean as I want to be, but that only makes me want to work harder, not hate myself. I am 5'10, and i'd kill myself to be over 6 foot, but that doesn't mean i look at guys that are 6'2 and be like, what's wrong with me?!

loosin up a little.... your even looking like your hating life on your avatar.. lol..

[AlphaBrass01]

I have a naturally wide and thick frame, but I'm short - 5'6". Even at a low body fat level, I don't look lean, so to speak. We all have some genetic limitations. While we can focus on negatives to push for improvement, on a day to day basis, I find it more beneficial to focus on the improvements that have been made, even small ones. For instance, in the last few weeks, I have really started to firm up my chest more. It's a tiny change when looking at your whole body in the mirror, but it feels good - that's progress.

[maxometer]

Dude.. your having some self-image problems.. First of all, your tall, 6'2,, thats a perfect height.. second of all your broad.. Those are two genetic attributes the vast majority of people don't have. All you have to work on is leaning down. as for looks, your not a bad looking guy.

Assuming your stats are correct your at the ideal weight for your height.. If you lean down, you'll look more jacked than you are because your naturally broad. you don't have narrow girly shoulders that most guys have. you should be proud of that.. who are you comparing yoruselves to exactly. Runway models? come on dude.. ya, there will always be people leaner than you. But thats a variable you can change if you have alot of self-discipline and if you have your **** together. If your not healthy emotionally, and mentally, then being physically healthy will be extremely difficult. I am not anywhere near as lean as I want to be, but that only makes me want to work harder, not hate myself. I am 5'10, and i'd kill myself to be over 6 foot, but that doesn't mean i look at guys that are 6'2 and be like, what's wrong with me?!

loosin up a little.... your even looking like your hating life on your avatar.. lol..

I just compare myself to anyone who seems really lean. Like even skater myspace and abercrombie lean.....that's about it.

I don't think of my current build as looking good. That's why I'm hoping someone could provide an image of a person with the same build as me so I can focus on trying to look like them rather than fixating on builds of people who are three to four inches shorter than I am and thirty to forty pounds lighter.

I've been fighting being overweight since I was like, 9. I used to be super-lean before that. So while some people have been fighting to loose 30 some lbs or whatever I feel like I'm stuck in this horrible limbo of not-fat but not good either.

I was hoping of when I start back up my weight training to also do some swimming laps doing breaststroke. I do stronglifts 5 x 5 three times a week for 45 min to an hour, would an added 30 min of swimming be good to lean me out?

[samcanadian]

I'm not even sure what to say here. I was always beating myself up because I'm a naturally slight guy and it takes me a lot of lifting and a lot of eating to stay over 165 pounds. Not only would I absolutely love to be 6'2, I'd LOVE to have an extra 40 pounds on my frame. I'd be twice as strong and twice as powerful and wouldn't be looking up at everyone.

I dunno man, I'd just as soon make the same thread but from the other side as you.

[maxometer]

Funny how that works I guess. I'd love to be 175 lbs so bad. That's why I don't trust my judgment on what I could look like, as what I want is probably not what I actually can achieve or, rather what I could acheive could look MUCH better.

[FlacidLobster]

Funny how that works I guess. I'd love to be 175 lbs so bad. That's why I don't trust my judgment on what I could look like, as what I want is probably not what I actually can achieve or, rather what I could acheive could look MUCH better.

the only viable option is to severely plunge into a sub-500 calorie diet for 3 weeks, then have 1 week of the most fanatical diuretics, and ultimately choose plastic surgery.

[FlacidLobster]

seriously though, looks are like ice cream. people will tend to have favorites, but even a chocolate lover wants vanilla.

stop comparing.

[Budokai001]

Blame the genetics mann !! But don't keep blaming it forever , knock out of it and look the positives .
"I envy you" . Every time i hit the gym i look at all the big guys and feel jealous and say to myself "Y was i born with such a small body frame and shoulders " !!!

.....and then gradually i learnt that I have to live with it

[maxometer]

Genetics are weird- I used to be really skinny, weak long arms, and I've never been strong - it was always funny watching me try to do monkeybars, lol. Then I ballooned.....

I really don't know what to aim for anymore really, I have no idea what celebrity or famous person or model or whatever out there has a body-type comparable to mine that I could look up to and aspire to look like, because many cases what I want is completely against body-type. In the past I've settled on trying to aim for a younger Jake Gyllenhaal look when he was a tad skinnier than he is now because I've heard he's almost 6'2 too? I dunno.

Another example, this is really, really lame but I saw Zac Efron on the cover of People Magazine today, I hate the guys guts but I wouldn't mind having his type of body at all. I am not a bodybuilder - I don't know what's legit "looking", all I know is that well, I wouldn't mind looking like that. But then again, I'm pretty sure Zac Efron is not 6'2...so, there we go.

Immediate road block for me. I don't know what's attainable and what isn't for me.

[FlacidLobster]

Genetics are weird- I used to be really skinny, weak long arms, and I've never been strong - it was always funny watching me try to do monkeybars, lol. Then I ballooned.....

I really don't know what to aim for anymore really, I have no idea what celebrity or famous person or model or whatever out there has a body-type comparable to mine that I could look up to and aspire to look like, because many cases what I want is completely against body-type. In the past I've settled on trying to aim for a younger Jake Gyllenhaal look when he was a tad skinnier than he is now because I've heard he's almost 6'2 too? I dunno.

Another example, this is really, really lame but I saw Zac Efron on the cover of People Magazine today, I hate the guys guts but I wouldn't mind having his type of body at all. I am not a bodybuilder - I don't know what's legit "looking", all I know is that well, I wouldn't mind looking like that. But then again, I'm pretty sure Zac Efron is not 6'2...so, there we go.

Immediate road block for me. I don't know what's attainable and what isn't for me.

dude, gain confidence.

being in good shape and being confident are immensely positive.

if you could only have one, choose confidence.

[2slik]

It could be genetics. But they should not totally control the way you look

[Maiar]

whats wrong with a big frame? Are you brainwashed by the skinny dudes you see in the media? I'm so glad I got wide shoulders.

[beltshumeltz]

I think what you should do to get your motivation back is check the pics forum for people who showed their progress from BEGINNERS to 6-7 months later. Right now you're very soft despite being light for your height, so this is why you feel fatter than your peers.

Look at those 6 months progress pic and you'll see pretty much how far you can get in that little time provided you lift hard enough to double all your current lifts (your bodyspace shows a benchpress of like 110.. 6 months is plenty to get it to 220, with pecs to match).

I think if you look at it that way, and say maintain your weight while lifting with compound movements, you'll feel VERY differently about your body image in 3 months only. Keep it up for 5 months, then cut for a month or two and you'll look way better than your skinny mates.

Those 6 months pics might not be your same height but they will show how far you can get in that time frame!

[mertearkan]

I feel the same way its awful

[maxometer]

I think what you should do to get your motivation back is check the pics forum for people who showed their progress from BEGINNERS to 6-7 months later. Right now you're very soft despite being light for your height, so this is why you feel fatter than your peers.

Look at those 6 months progress pic and you'll see pretty much how far you can get in that little time provided you lift hard enough to double all your current lifts (your bodyspace shows a benchpress of like 110.. 6 months is plenty to get it to 220, with pecs to match).

I think if you look at it that way, and say maintain your weight while lifting with compound movements, you'll feel VERY differently about your body image in 3 months only. Keep it up for 5 months, then cut for a month or two and you'll look way better than your skinny mates.

Those 6 months pics might not be your same height but they will show how far you can get in that time frame!

I've changed quite a lot than I was in 2005, 2006...I'm not new to the gym!

I couldn't squat an added 40 lbs on the smith machine (I know, I know) and now I can do 110 lbs of added weight. I used to be a larger side of size 38 in middleschool and as of last year or so, I can wear cuts of 34 pants and shorts. Generally a 35. And yet, it's STILL not good enough, at least in not looking good enough. My young brother, 16, is very lean and yet he's a 35-36 pant (he's also 6'5) as is my dad, who's more of a 34 (he's 5'11). Part of me thinks, well, maybe even I get superfit I might never be a size 30-32, but obviously I'm still fat and ugly so there goes over 5 years of on and off cardio, weight training and other efforts.....I feel like I'm struggling far more than I need to.

The point I guess I'm trying to make is that for me looking at a lot of people at random ISNT very conducive because I can never tell who I can realistically compare myself with in terms of distinct results ..my mom used to do this with teen magazines when I was in middle-school, she would give me one and say look for a "cool haircut" for me to try and get because back then I was a fat geeky **** who'd try anything to fit in and not get bullied and she was just trying to help. I blame a lot of those magazines for skewing my ideas of how guys in their teens/early twenties SHOULD look as opposed to what I look like.

Really, if anyone around my age, height and has a similar build and have successfully done changes to your body, could you please pip-up? I'd really appreciate looking at someone's progress that I could relate to visually and be able to think " wow so I have the potential to look something like that?" instead of going " I could never look like that because of my build." or " I'd like to look like that but it's probably impossible." or " Oh but he was skinny to begin with," etc, etc.

I would really appreciate it. Obviously I don't know WHAT I look like either, I don't know how to judge myself. At times I feel rather confident, feel thin and others I feel like an abomination.

[maxometer]

seriously though, looks are like ice cream. people will tend to have favorites, but even a chocolate lover wants vanilla.

stop comparing.

I don't want to be vanilla....

[beltshumeltz]

I've changed quite a lot than I was in 2005, 2006...I'm not new to the gym!

You NEED to look at those 6 months of progress pics because they will show you that your assumptions about going to the gym might be wrong.

If you have been training for muscle gain for far more than 6 months and you cannot...

squat 300
deadlift 350
benchpress 200

You have not trained properly! BUT THIS IS GOOD NEWS. Because it means that you have a TON of untapped potential! You just need to train well for a few months and all self-confidence issues will leave right away!

Yet in your 04/2010 progress lifts, it says you were deadlifting 150, squatting 175 and benchpressing 119. Have you nearly doubled them yet? Because 2 months should have drastically changed these numbers by now given how conservative they are.

It is not a physical problem. It is a problem with your knowledge of how to properly train. You are on the right forum for help in solving this and it WILL solve your body image problem as well as your low self-confidence that make you think that you somehow are special in a negative way.

If you want to SOLVE THIS, ask people what to do, follow the consensus and give it 6 months. (hint: starting strength)

Look, consider your muscle mass. What are your current best lifts? If you can benchpress 150 for reps, it could very, very easily be 180 in 6 weeks. If you give it 6 months, it'll reach 225 or more. Now what kind of physical change would be necessary to lift 50% more weight? Don't you think you'll look at lot fitter with more muscle mass then?

I'm sorry I cannot help you find before and after pics of people with your body type but I insist you give this a try. Search on the picture forum for "rippetoe" or "starting strength" and see what results people get in 3 to 6 months. Whether you have the same bodytype or not is irrelevant since effectively doubling or trippling your strength in a short period of time will still put a ton of muscle on you, and it will answer all your questions about how you could potentially look if you trained well.

[beltshumeltz]

By the way you should post some photos of models you want to look like. More than likely, the solution will still be to start with 6 months of heavy lifting, but still, just find pics of guys you want to look like and people can instead give you a guesstimate on how quickly you can get there, and how.

(from google image search on the guy you mentioned in your first post)
http://hotmeninundies.files.wordpres...on-r238139.jpg

If this pic is what you want to look like, I think you are aiming low... but still, you can get there in like 3 months of work! Just follow advice from the weight lost forum on how to drop 20 pounds and you'll be there, and be sure to lift at the same time.

Same thing for this guy:
http://www.industryfolio.com/giovann...in-3-marko.jpg

Seems to be your body type to me and he looks better than the other guy. Lift heavy for 2 months, cut for 2 months, and you'll be like him or better. But I think that's aiming very, very low for you. Your body type is PERFECT in terms of potential!


ANd this guy
http://sites.servermc.com/folder2668...omorph_men.jpg
He's more in line in what I'd say you could look like. He started skinnier than you, so your path to get there will be different than his, but you definitely can look as good as he does now. Lift heavy for 6 months, cut for 1-2 months. Then keep bulking/cutting for a year and you'll look like him.

[beltshumeltz]

I've changed quite a lot than I was in 2005, 2006...I'm not new to the gym!

Sorry for the spam, but in hopefully helping you...

What are your best lifts right now? Telling us that will help us determine how much of a difference it would make, and hence, what you could aim for in a few months of work. That's what you are looking for here right? Figuring out your potential? So tell us your starting point for 5 reps on:

benchpress
chin ups or rows
deadlift
squat (if smith is 110... your squat is still untapped)
overhead press

[Yashnaheen]

There is more to this than wanting to look like a fitness model. Do something to stop being depressed. Therapy, prozac, whatever you need.

After that, quit focusing on all the things you aren't. You aren't the skinny guy at work you would rather look like. You aren't built like a stick. You aren't as rich as Warren Buffett, you aren't as good looking as 90% of the guys on TV. None of that matters at all, and none of this you can change.

You are the person behind maxometer. You are 6'2" with a wide frame. You are young enough that you can start nearly anything in life from scratch now and be ahead of the game. You enjoy the things you enjoy, you have the strengths you have. Enjoy these things and master your strengths. Don't try to correct all the things you find to be problems at once. Find the biggest one you have now and work on it, whichever one has the most effect on the rest of you. Once that is out of the way, you will be stronger in all your strong points and have fixed your biggest weakness. Once you start you will find confidence and a sense of purpose in whatever things that you decide do.

Either way you go, down deep into a pit of despair or climbing beyond your prior personal limits, you will be gaining momentum in that direction. It just happens to be easier to fall. Take some time to find yourself, then decide to take the first step back out of the hole you have found.

You aren't about how you stack up against anyone else in any category. You are about what you have made of yourself. Make yourself proud.

[bocheltree]

I just can't win. I've been taking a break from weight lifting, going to see some docs for some therapy stuffs see if that can additionally help as half of everything is totally cerebral. Amazingly I feel like I look better than I was before? Idk, now when I flex my stomach I swear I see the whole "dippy" arrow thing on the lower abs to the groin whereas before I had to do a whole lot more to make it sorta show up. Still have a bit of a stomach around the bellybutton....yet despite this, I just, feel so blah about how I look.

Sometimes I think I look good, like the other day I actually did yardwork (lots of yardwork) without a shirt to work on a tan and wasn't repulsed when i saw myself in a window or on the glass of the back door or whatever but then like today I notice how skinnier a co-worker is and I just get struck with how much I'd rather look like him and then I start beating myself up again for just being too big.

I just can't stop comparing. I'm 6 ft 2 and 195-200 lbs, with wide shoulders and a broad chest- I shouldn't be feeling inadequate at all and yet I trash my body frame for being too big.

1. How can I stop comparing? I can't even look at some of you guys without getting discouraged. I'm not even aiming for really built AT ALL. Some of your "starting" photos or near starting photos are what I want.

2. For my height and I guess if you can judge by my pics, what would be a good look to aim for for my build, because I think what I want might not be physically feasible for my build at all (rather someone thin most likely) and I'd rather have an outsider say " you could easily look like this in x months" and provide an example for me because then my objectivity is left out.

Thanks guys, hope everyone's summers are going okay...

so i didnt take the time to read what anyone else has said, and obviously from looking at my picture i'm no expert, a real noob at this entire thing, but i want to point something out to you, first off, you've lost alot of weight! good job for that, and your pics now do look pretty decent.
secondly, your pictures now, they show very little muscle, but a big bone structure, you put some time into the gym, eat alot of hearty food, and i think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
and thirdly, to be honest, dont be yourself up so much. I constantly am discouraged with my frame because i feel my hips are almost as wide as my shoulders, i would love a broader frame like you. You really have alot of potential, but start getting big! its the best thing you can do from here. good luck

[maxometer]

You NEED to look at those 6 months of progress pics because they will show you that your assumptions about going to the gym might be wrong.

If you have been training for muscle gain for far more than 6 months and you cannot...

squat 300
deadlift 350
benchpress 200

You have not trained properly! BUT THIS IS GOOD NEWS. Because it means that you have a TON of untapped potential! You just need to train well for a few months and all self-confidence issues will leave right away!

Yet in your 04/2010 progress lifts, it says you were deadlifting 150, squatting 175 and benchpressing 119. Have you nearly doubled them yet? Because 2 months should have drastically changed these numbers by now given how conservative they are.

It is not a physical problem. It is a problem with your knowledge of how to properly train. You are on the right forum for help in solving this and it WILL solve your body image problem as well as your low self-confidence that make you think that you somehow are special in a negative way.

If you want to SOLVE THIS, ask people what to do, follow the consensus and give it 6 months. (hint: starting strength)

Look, consider your muscle mass. What are your current best lifts? If you can benchpress 150 for reps, it could very, very easily be 180 in 6 weeks. If you give it 6 months, it'll reach 225 or more. Now what kind of physical change would be necessary to lift 50% more weight? Don't you think you'll look at lot fitter with more muscle mass then?

I'm sorry I cannot help you find before and after pics of people with your body type but I insist you give this a try. Search on the picture forum for "rippetoe" or "starting strength" and see what results people get in 3 to 6 months. Whether you have the same bodytype or not is irrelevant since effectively doubling or trippling your strength in a short period of time will still put a ton of muscle on you, and it will answer all your questions about how you could potentially look if you trained well.

Sorry for the spam, but in hopefully helping you...

What are your best lifts right now? Telling us that will help us determine how much of a difference it would make, and hence, what you could aim for in a few months of work. That's what you are looking for here right? Figuring out your potential? So tell us your starting point for 5 reps on:

benchpress
chin ups or rows
deadlift
squat (if smith is 110... your squat is still untapped)
overhead press

My strongest lift are squats...... Mostly anything leg. I don't know why, that's usually the case with most people but I feel like compared to my other stats I'm much stronger in legs than anything else. I've never been strong though.

I DO do the 5 x 5 starting strength program. It's what helped me go from struggling to do 60 lbs of added weight on squats to almost double that. I do however struggle doing inverted rows. I cannot really do chin-ups/pull-ups but had been getting up to about 20 reps using momentum. It would get better/more reps each workout.

In all honesty I haven't been to the gym in about two months because of finals at school, my participation in some short plays at school at the same time as finals, a part-time job, my grandmother dying, as well as working on a 50 x 50 garden to sell flowers and vegetables for some extra pocket money, as well as landscaping my aunt and also my cousin's gardens (I do design consultations). Now though, I'm going to restart my program. I guess I just drop the ball a lot. I just get discouraged.

By the way you should post some photos of models you want to look like. More than likely, the solution will still be to start with 6 months of heavy lifting, but still, just find pics of guys you want to look like and people can instead give you a guesstimate on how quickly you can get there, and how.

(from google image search on the guy you mentioned in your first post)
http://hotmeninundies.files.wordpres...on-r238139.jpg

If this pic is what you want to look like, I think you are aiming low... but still, you can get there in like 3 months of work! Just follow advice from the weight lost forum on how to drop 20 pounds and you'll be there, and be sure to lift at the same time.

Same thing for this guy:
http://www.industryfolio.com/giovann...in-3-marko.jpg

Seems to be your body type to me and he looks better than the other guy. Lift heavy for 2 months, cut for 2 months, and you'll be like him or better. But I think that's aiming very, very low for you. Your body type is PERFECT in terms of potential!

ANd this guy
http://sites.servermc.com/folder2668...omorph_men.jpg
He's more in line in what I'd say you could look like. He started skinnier than you, so your path to get there will be different than his, but you definitely can look as good as he does now. Lift heavy for 6 months, cut for 1-2 months. Then keep bulking/cutting for a year and you'll look like him.

You really think I need to loose 20 pounds? Am I really that big? I've always wanted to look like this guy, Jake Gyllenhaal:

http://renegonzalezonline.com/wordpr..._shirtless.jpg

http://towleroad.typepad.com/.shared...gyllenhaal.jpg

http://assets.gearlive.com/celebriti...akeg_beach.jpg

I've always wanted to look like him more or less. I mean it when I say it that I don't want a body-builders build. His Prince of of Persia build right now I think might be a bit too athletic for me/would require much more time that I just don't have.

There is more to this than wanting to look like a fitness model. Do something to stop being depressed. Therapy, prozac, whatever you need.

After that, quit focusing on all the things you aren't. You aren't the skinny guy at work you would rather look like. You aren't built like a stick. You aren't as rich as Warren Buffett, you aren't as good looking as 90% of the guys on TV. None of that matters at all, and none of this you can change.

You are the person behind maxometer. You are 6'2" with a wide frame. You are young enough that you can start nearly anything in life from scratch now and be ahead of the game. You enjoy the things you enjoy, you have the strengths you have. Enjoy these things and master your strengths. Don't try to correct all the things you find to be problems at once. Find the biggest one you have now and work on it, whichever one has the most effect on the rest of you. Once that is out of the way, you will be stronger in all your strong points and have fixed your biggest weakness. Once you start you will find confidence and a sense of purpose in whatever things that you decide do.

Either way you go, down deep into a pit of despair or climbing beyond your prior personal limits, you will be gaining momentum in that direction. It just happens to be easier to fall. Take some time to find yourself, then decide to take the first step back out of the hole you have found.

You aren't about how you stack up against anyone else in any category. You are about what you have made of yourself. Make yourself proud.

I'm on medication and as the first post stated, I go to therapy.

I have a weird sense of confidence and confidence issues because I DO like myself, I DO feel like I AM just as good looking or have the potential to be as good looking or better than the people on TV and models and whatnot...it's only I'm not and it's that failure to be that "great" that drives me crazy. I'm not some loser who has no skills and nothing else. I am a awesome person with boat-loads of artistic talent and knowledge in a variety of fields, ( horticulture, writing, design, etc - I'm an eclectic guy) I got too many interests, great friends. I excel at my job.

My appearance is my biggest obstacle if not my ONLY obstacle. I feel like I'm an awesome person but my outside doesn't match how great everything else is...I don't think I need time to find myself, I know myself very well, which is why I am so critical of it. Not to say if I had a fit body I'd be "perfect" but, I'd feel much much more confident as a catch than I do now. I'd be much happier to be attractive again.

so i didnt take the time to read what anyone else has said, and obviously from looking at my picture i'm no expert, a real noob at this entire thing, but i want to point something out to you, first off, you've lost alot of weight! good job for that, and your pics now do look pretty decent.
secondly, your pictures now, they show very little muscle, but a big bone structure, you put some time into the gym, eat alot of hearty food, and i think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
and thirdly, to be honest, dont be yourself up so much. I constantly am discouraged with my frame because i feel my hips are almost as wide as my shoulders, i would love a broader frame like you. You really have alot of potential, but start getting big! its the best thing you can do from here. good luck

Thanks man, it's true, I am incredibly hard on myself. Mainly because I don't see what others see, at least that's the consensus. I am so self conscious/critical of how I look, at least in the past year - I still won't take my shirt off at beaches and other stuff. I don't date because I see it as a disservice to the girl because I think I look that bad.

So yeah. I think that's it for now....

[Omar_Gt]

I think i red your thread few weeks back on sort of same topic. You know how do i remember. Seeing your very sad face in your profile pics i immediately remembered. Whats up with so sad face, its like someone kidnapped you and forced you to take those pics. I actually liked those pics back in 96 (in totally non-weird kind of way).

Coming to topic. I can clearly see your abs outline in those pics. Frankly if i would have that kind of body i'll bulk hard for an year or so and then cut again. You are just 20, cheer up. I am 26 and i am not so desperate. Because i know that i'll get my goal one day. All i need to do just wait (obviously keeping my diet and exercise in mind). Keep on working good and when you'll be 26 ie: my age (5/6 years from now) you'll be inspiring many people yourself. Seriously dude, cheer up.

[maxometer]

I try to cheer up, really I do, because I am a fun loving guy, but when it comes to body, I just hate myself.

The photos from 1996? 1996/1997ish was the last time I remember liking how I looked and was comfortable with myself. I have been plagued with body image insecurities ever since 1998-onward. I hate having my picture taken. I often untag many of pictures of myself on friend's ******** pics because I think I look so horrible.

[ohltown]

Don't be so hard on yourself.

[maxometer]

Why not? It's what I see. I don't understand what people mean by my build being perfect in terms of potential and whatnot.

[beltshumeltz]

I don't think you "need to lose 20 pounds" with no qualification. I think you need to lose 20 pounds IF you want to look like those models, because they are very slim.

If you struggle squatting 120 pounds, I think you need to become a bit more suicidal about it. Forget 5x5, do 3x5, and squat 120 pounds (or your current max). 2 days later, listen to heavy metal music on your headphones, think about all the people you hate in this world, and squat 125. Two days later, 130. If you're a bit afraid of what an Internet stranger tells you, at the very least add 2.5 pounds every workout - EVEN IF YOU DOUBT YOURSELF. You WILL be able to make it to 200 pounds at this pace. There is no way a 180+ pound male cannot do that. It's all in your head because you aren't used to lifting heavy. I'd tell you to even remove the safeties on your squat rack until you reach 200 pounds, because if you do this, you will get there. It's scary but once you are at the bottom and you realize the only way to go is up, or 6 feet under (more or less :P) you will lift the thing. Just eat enough protein (150 grams or so) and you'll make it.

Once you squat 250 or so, bench 180, can do 5 chin ups with no momentum (in 2-3 months), then you can trim your excess fat while maintaining your muscle, and you'll look like that guy who's picture you posted, or a bit better IMO.

Lifting those numbers will not make you look big, it will just give you a bit of muscle mass and make sure your diet becomes much easier to lose your excess fat to look like these guys.

Again, I don't think you need to lose 20 pounds to look good, but you want to look like some slim models, so slimmer is what you'll need to be after you've put on a bit of muscle mass.

[maxometer]

Well then I'll just work out I guess, I do doubt myself, which is why I guess I tend to stay at a certain weight on some of my exercises, since I'll often be able to jump a certain amount of lbs one day and then the next A or B day in which I have to do the same or more I have difficulty. It becomes strange knowing I did a certain amount of weight before and then to not, becomes a mind game.


What could I look like if I didn't aim to look like any of the guys I posted? Maybe Jake Gyllenhaal, he's been MUCH bigger than he used to be. But I'm not sure I could ever want to get that big. I just want to look good, anything but what I look like now, which is an abomination. I hate seeing myself even in the gym mirrors...