how do you maintain a social life?

[parnix]

seems to me that ALL the damn social events on my calendar involve sh!t loads of calorie consumption in the form of alcohol or food. Birthdays, music shows, some art exhibit at the museum, friends dinner parties, everything is chock full of calorie consumption. it seems that there is no greater form of human bonding than consuming a ton of calories together. And when I start turning these events down, well, needless to say people stop trying to include me in their plans.

I went from 230 to what I am at now which is around 170, and my life his DEFINITELY changed a lot. Lot more attention from women, waitresses notice, people i barely see notice, people i never talk to ask me about the weight loss. all the things I read about in were you treated differently after losing weight thread are starting to happen to me! (incidentally, i still need to make a post in that thread.) But lately I have been letting it all get the better of me. I've completely changed my wardrobe and am out there living life in a totally different way. Unfortunately this also involves a lot of calorie consumption with people.

How do you guys do it??? I have not been gaining weight (thankfully) and I have been picking up the heavy lifting for the first time (feels DAMN good, two months in, consistent) but my weight loss rate has dropped to probably about a two to four pounds a month and my calorie average has been a lot higher (around 2000, where as when I was losing a lot it was around 1600). I am ready to lock myself in a closet for five months to finish this cut and REALLY begin my true transformation, but I am having a hard time cutting out my social life. I mean cmon guys, there are a lot of smoking hot babes involved.

sorry for the long winded post

tldr: am looking for some tips on how to maintain social life and keep going on a cut. what do you do?

[ElGordoNoMas]

Simple. I don't stop going to these things. I just try to control myself, and sometimes I slip. When I don't, which is normally, it gives me more determination to not slip-up next time I go out. Don't sacrifice your social life and friends for this. You can do both simueltaneously. I've lost nearly 50lbs in the last 14 weeks while still drinking 1-2 times a week. On the days that you know you will go to an event where you may eat too much, just try to lower how many calories you had that day and do a little extra cardio so that you can absorb the calories better. Think about it: even if you go to something once a week and you go over maintenance for that night, it most likely isn't going to be that much over and you can just lower your caloric intake the next day to even it out.

[UCFBuilder]

really isnt that hard bro...just dont eat lol...no one is forcing u to eat at those events and u can still be social without having to eat whatever is there.....have a meal before u go..then have one after...u can be social and keep to your meal plan...this is what i do whenever one of these events comes up

or..if i really want to eat whats there...ill skip one of my meals and make it up with the foods that are there always keeping in mind my macro goal for that meal so i dont overindulge myself

[Ronin45]

Yeah man just don't eat while you are out. With lower in take its easier to get a buzz if your drinking too so just don't eat trash and drink a bit less. Most will be impressed when you don't eat **** anyway.

[parnix]

really isnt that hard bro...just dont eat lol...no one is forcing u to eat at those events and u can still be social without having to eat whatever is there.....have a meal before u go..then have one after...u can be social and keep to your meal plan...this is what i do whenever one of these events comes up

or..if i really want to eat whats there...ill skip one of my meals and make it up with the foods that are there always keeping in mind my macro goal for that meal so i dont overindulge myself

Yeah I definitely know what you mean. Nobody is forcing me to do it that is for sure. Unfortunately it is more than just food though, a huge part of it is alcohol. I have been holding onto alcohol as a social tool for a long time and I think it is probably time I come to stop relying on it so much.

[parnix]

Yeah man just don't eat while you are out. With lower in take its easier to get a buzz if your drinking too so just don't eat trash and drink a bit less. Most will be impressed when you don't eat **** anyway.

haha when you say drink 'a bit less', how many are you talking about?

[smt1]

Instead of drinking stuff like beer, drink more concentrated alcohols mixed with diet sodas.

[Piranha89]

I'm in college. Basically, party through the whole school year. Then in the summer, I drink alcohol about 5 times in that 2 1/2 month period basically going to a concert or 2 and camping and just focus on my goal.

[iliketojuggle]

Just don't drink or eat the food if you don't want to.. You can still go do the events and socialize.. No one is forcing you to eat the food supplied or drink alcohol that is available.. Just eat a little bit, and drink like 1 drink or just drink water.

[parnix]

Just don't drink or eat the food if you don't want to.. You can still go do the events and socialize.. No one is forcing you to eat the food supplied or drink alcohol that is available.. Just eat a little bit, and drink like 1 drink or just drink water.

all right, I hear that. That sounds amazing and if I can figure out how to make that work I think I am gonna be set. This is all really new to me (no sarcasm) so let's say some cute girl comes up to me and is like 'so how come you arent drinking', should I just tell her I am busy cutting my fat ass down to a reasonable size so that she won't protest when I blow a load all over her?

for the record I am engaged to be married! luckily the fiancee has a solid sense of humor.

edit: and I know to a lot of you hardcore seasoned vets a lot of what I am doing probably sounds like some pussy whining and it probably is. I am sure i'll be saying the same thing about myself a year or two down the road. But for now this is the first time in my life where I am looking at my health as being more important that 'getting wasted at some party' and am dead serious about making my healthy lifestyle fit into my already well underway partying lifestyle. so thx for understanding.

[UWsplee]

I'm currently taking a month off of drinking just to see how much better I feel physically, and it gets easier after the first couple of nights out. When people ask me why I'm not drinking I just tell them I'm taking a night off, or if it's one of my friends I explain to them that it's part of my workout goals. If you don't want to stop drinking altogether, I'd either go with drinks mixed with diet, and either drink them through the mini-straw or try to sip them as slow as possible, so a couple drinks should last you the whole night.

As for the events that have food, try to eat immediately beforehand so you can control the quality of calories you're getting. It's a lot better to have some grilled chicken at your house rather than eating a hot dog at a ball game or greasy appetizers at an event. Hope that helps, and good luck!

[Bigzperson]

I'm terrible at this. I love to eat, and I love to drink. Really, the only way I can keep from eating myself to death or drowning in booze, is the fact that 1) the guys I work with are getting younger and younger, and 2) my life depends on my physical fitness.

I agree with everyone though, just try to control it. I went 7 months without booze, it felt great, but it wasn't life changing.

If hot chicks are involved though.... that's a tough one bro.

Good luck, let me know how it works out.

[ejthomp]

........try to eat immediately beforehand so you can control the quality of calories you're getting.....

That's the ticket. Fill yourself up with good food BEFORE you go.

[Ronin45]

haha when you say drink 'a bit less', how many are you talking about?

Man I have no idea. I had never drank till I was 23. So like 3 beers and I am buzzed hard. 6 and I am gone. So I guess I am lucky. Plus I don't feel the need or urge to drink ever really. You could make a rule for yourself and drink like 2 cups of water per 1 beer while your at a part?

[ira_est_a_donum]

-keep consistent workouts to help burn off the cals
-go out but have diet or sugar free type drinks...and or water...
-go out and stay away from the food... or just get a real small plate and pick at it over the time frame...
-have a beer and a plate of food and dance with some girls to burn it off...
- drink lots of water

a combo of the above is what I generally do...

if I let loose and pound down some beers and some buffet foods and or cake or whatever that is "bad" i make sure the next few days I hit my workouts and I also do some extra walking to burn some extra cals..

[sureshk]

some good advice on here. it's all about moderation. you shouldn't deny yourself life's little pleasures - that'll only end up in resentment and frustration, and eventually falling off the wagon and going back to your old lifestyle.

Just plan ahead. If you know you are going to consume a few extra calories, eat slightly less the day before, or the day after, or do an extra session in the gym to burn it off. Alcohol is fine in moderation, just have a couple of beers and leave it at that, just don't go ape on it.

It's really the weekly calorie balance that matters, not the daily one. As long as you don't make a big habit of reducing deficit, e.g. every day, then every couple weeks isn't gona hurt anything, and in fact may be just the shock to the system you need to spur more fat loss.

Why are you doing all this fat loss? To live life. SO GO LIVE IT!!

[codek]

This is really hard also. Every time I go out with people I go way over my cal intake. I think you just have to bring food along and eat it in a corner or just starve until you can go home.

The answer. It's very hard!

[critterbug]

all right, I hear that. That sounds amazing and if I can figure out how to make that work I think I am gonna be set. This is all really new to me (no sarcasm) so let's say some cute girl comes up to me and is like 'so how come you arent drinking', should I just tell her I am busy cutting my fat ass down to a reasonable size so that she won't protest when I blow a load all over her?

for the record I am engaged to be married! luckily the fiancee has a solid sense of humor.

OT, but I'm kinda bedaffled here. Is the person you're engaged to the same as "some cute girl" who comes up to you? I'm not getting why you're all concerned about these other girls if you're engaged. And I'd think the person you're engaged to would understand if you didn't drink all the time.

[parnix]

OT, but I'm kinda bedaffled here. Is the person you're engaged to the same as "some cute girl" who comes up to you? I'm not getting why you're all concerned about these other girls if you're engaged. And I'd think the person you're engaged to would understand if you didn't drink all the time.

I was just being tongue in cheek with the cute girl remarks. The truth is that I have been pretty damn overweight my entire teenage and adult life. My fiancee has known me for about 10 years and she has always been pretty hot. She understands that lately I have been getting some more attention and she knows it is hard for me to 'ignore.' It's just for fun believe me. The real reason I started this transformation is for her and that continues to be the reason. But that doesn't mean I can't flirt a little right?

edit: and my major concern is not so much about other girls as it is just about my social life and how to keep it in check. Despite my weight I have always had a pretty decent circle of friends, gf, etc, and I have always socialized quite a bit around food and alcohol. I desperately want to be able to maintain my friends without sacrificing my health. And sometimes some cute girls may hit on me at the bar and that just makes this all the more worth it.

[jc525]

Lift heavy and cardio on the weekdays, weekends do all cardio but more to make up for the calories you will consume later in the evening. Also I'm on a shot diet on wknds. I don't drink any mixed drinks at all and I chase it with water or maybe a sip of diet soda. I generally hate sweets anyway. Also, try to eat dinner at home before going out partying.

[VaderCharger]

While I am cutting, I dont have a social life.

[candyismycarb]

I had to drop a friend for several reasons-one was a betrayal but I noticed when we were friends I gained fat--she was 100 pounds over and inactive

point being it does matter who you hang with

I understand these stituations as we all have them -but you just gotta not let yourself be too hungry when you go out

eat stuff like an apple with nut butter on it or a protien and fat combo--something filling and healthy so you can turn down the junk

also allow yourself a small portion of snacks at times -


also if you have a fiancee I would not entertain yourself with flirting--big deal you are hot now and enjoying it--but your wife is the one who will still love you and think your are hot when you turn 90

good luck

!!!

[Hzar]

drink if you must, but that means you must control your calories before you go drinking.. a lot of ppl do that.. lets say you will drink Michelob Ultra which has 95 calories.. you want to drink 6 of them which is 570 cals.. you are eating 1800 cals per day.. eat 1230 cals that day and go out to drink... or do 500 cals worth of cardio which shouldnt be hard.. a 30min HIIT session should do the trick..

[grunmn]

Didn't read everyone's replies, but if I know in advance that I am doing something. I will make sure I do more cardio in the day to counter the possible extra calories. I still watch what I order or eat and I don't drink beer or wine. It's always Vodka, Water, and a lemon to garnish. (order a good vodka though because the water brings out the flavor and it's actually good if you get a top shelf vodka. None of that well ****)

And if people give you a hard time, there's a reason why you are in shape and they are not.

Also I avoid getting too ****ty that I end up binge eating to counter act the queeze feeling or even if I do drink a little too much and I am hungry I usually don't eat anything and tough it out because I put myself into the situation

[beepbeepimajeep]

I'm in the same boat, and simply dont eat when people offer you seem pretty anti-social...."no thank, i'm on a strict diet" leads to *bertstare*. So I just go straight to the meats that are not heavily processed and add some colorful veggies to make my plate look like full of variety. Coincidentally, good tasting lean meat dishes run low the fastest and if that's what you have all the time, people think you ate most of it and quit bother you with "hey eat this, try that".

Don't have to be anti-social and be like "hey this is why I'm in better shape than you".

[Rectify]

Avoiding this kind of thing is the worst thing you can do man. Getting in shape makes you feel great about yourself, so why shy away? Just choose healthy options, or the healthiest you can, plan your calories around such events and don't drink TOO heavily and/or choose lower calorie options (beers vs vodka, etc).

As they say, "All work and no play..."

[parnix]

Thanks all, this is really great advice from everyone! I have bookmarked this thread and plan to refer to it each time I feel myself slipping. The basic premise is that I should be able to go out in a controlled, moderate way. Coming out of my mid 20's, I was unaware of what moderate meant, especially as it pertains to alcohol. But I now know that 1) all that binge drinking and subsequent binge eating contributed to my major weight gain over all those years and 2) I still love to go out and I don't want to be fat because of it! I am seriously going to learn to moderate myself and not be shy about it around others. I am not going to feel awkward or bad if a friend pesters me about getting hammered or grabbing some greasy bar food and I pass on it. Same with parties and social events, gonna not gorge myself on the food. I used to think 'hey I'm out at this event, there is this huge pile of food, WELL MAY AS WELL GO NUTS'. Time to put a stop to that ****! i'll hand out some reps now.

[cheeseandrice]

try going vegan. i cant eat about 90% of the **** people offer me

[critterbug]

try going vegan. i cant eat about 90% of the **** people offer me

ROFL Yea, same here, but I'm ovolacto so not even nearly as limited as you are, but that's always an easy explanation for declining stuff. Then you have the happy people who make you some super buttery creamy mashed potatoes or something. "Just for you."

Now if I could just find a way to have some sympathy for yeast...

[coals]

never had one to begin with