We have been together for almost 2 years.
We have a condo together, had a pregnancy scare (I only thought she was pregnant cause she was getting chubbier and bitchier).
Now she says no sex.
She has always been christian but now she says she wants to revert back to a stronger faith and pulled sex out of the relationship after we have been having it for almost two years.
I did my time waiting to have sex and I don't want to wait till marriage.
She said that when she made this decision she "knew she would have to accept that I was probably going to break up with her." Apparently she says it was a hard decision to make with that going on with her.
She says we can still do other things, but I know she doesn't really like doing other things, so I told her, "You can't pick and choose what you want out of the bible, if no sex, then no other things as well."
She thinks I am going to break up with her.
I don't know what I want seeing as how we still have 11 months of living together.
Need some advice
inb4 dont move in with GF, don't need to hear that one right now
**UPDATE**
We had a very frank argument amount this today.
I brought up how she can't just change the dynamics of the relationship like on a whim like that.
She says that we changed the dynamics when we didn't have money for awhile, and when we moved in together.
She says she wants to be in a relationship based more on emotion and security and wants to wait till marriage to have sex now.
I said if she wasn't going to be physically invested in the relationship, then don't expect me to be emotionally involved. She doesn't understand why sex is a big deal and why guys need it so bad just because she doesn't.
She was the one who wanted to have sex in the beginning...now she just whisked it away.
She asked if I was going to stay with her if she didn't have sex with me and that she needed to know right now.
I said I wasn't sure. I told her I know that I don't want to be in a relationship without sex. She doesn't understand why I can't wait 2-3 until marriage. I told her that I wasn't going to wait that long and that I waited 19 years to have sex and I don't want to do it again.
I told her I don't even know if I want to get married in three years and that I don't want to be married to somebody who is not going to have sex on a fairly consistent basis.
For christ sakes I'm not asking for sex 3 times a day, 4-5 times a week is plenty.
Now she says that she is going to look for another place to live, and frankly I don't want to stop her and I don't know if I will. Looks like this might be the tail end of a relationship, but now I have to worry about how I am going to afford this place by myself.
It costs about 1300 a month to live here.
Halp meh brahs.
|
|
Results 1 to 30 of 102
Thread: GF took away sex
-
08-26-2010, 04:09 PM #1Registered User
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Studio City, California, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 1,407
- Rep Power: 1370
GF took away sex
Last edited by Toledous; 08-28-2010 at 03:46 PM.
-
08-26-2010, 04:13 PM #2Banned
- Join Date: May 2008
- Location: United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 22,059
- Rep Power: 0
hate to pull the age card but i gotta. your 21. your not gonna marry this broad, and if you do, you'll regret it when it ends in divorce. the absolute best thing you can do is break up with her. tell her that you cannot respect someone who uses sex as a weapon, and you wont sell yourself short by being with someone you dont respect. then go stay with your parents or your friends for a while until you figure out how to get out of the lease. you made a big mistake moving in together, now you gotta deal with it.
-
08-26-2010, 04:13 PM #3Long time miscer
- Join Date: Jul 2003
- Location: Tennessee, United States
- Posts: 2,484
- Rep Power: 2001
I know this is going to sound crazy..but dude if you truly love her, sex isn't everything. It's alot and I know it feels great. How about other things she can do for you...bj's/handjobs, has she cut that out too.
Talk to her..Is she on birth control? If so...then use condoms too, she might feels more at ease.
-
08-26-2010, 04:17 PM #4Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2010
- Age: 36
- Posts: 23
- Rep Power: 0
lol at her breaking the news after 1 month of rent has passed.
What did you answer to her saying that she thinks you'll break up? This is important because you can't ever reassure her that you won't, but you can't threaten her to do it either. It has to remain implied that you will break up.
Personally, I'd tell her that I give her a week or something to think about it. Until then, sleep on the couch or something and withdraw any physical contact. If she doesn't change her mind, break up.
-
-
08-26-2010, 04:17 PM #5Wat do?
- Join Date: Jul 2006
- Location: Illinois
- Posts: 476
- Rep Power: 275
I think your girlfriend needs to realize that she can't just change the dynamics of the relationship like that. Sex was presented as part of the relationship, and for this long, so if she takes that away, and you accept it, what else can she take away? Answer: Anything she wants because you are still there accepting her whims.
You should sit her down and have a discussion about it and tell her that she can't change the dynamics of the relationship just like that. Tell her that if she wants to keep you, then she cant change things on her whim. If she doesnt accept, you may have to move on from her to get what you want out of a relationship.
-
08-26-2010, 04:22 PM #6Banned
- Join Date: May 2008
- Location: United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 22,059
- Rep Power: 0
i like this.Originally Posted by tman0307
-
08-26-2010, 04:24 PM #7Registered User
- Join Date: Sep 2003
- Location: Canada
- Age: 36
- Posts: 8,905
- Rep Power: 1782
well first off she made this decision, i assume, without even talking to you about it. that by itself is a huge problem. something as important as sex and she decides by herself that she doesn't wanna do it anymore. dump her inconsiderate ass.
-
08-26-2010, 04:25 PM #8Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2010
- Location: Ukiah, California, United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 124
- Rep Power: 197
TRUE statement
Done it. Regret it. Married at 21...lasted almost 7 years.Originally Posted by DocHol1day
"People Change"
Guarantee you will not be the same person in 5 years.
She has already changed her outlook on life and your relationship without even consulting you.
Life doesn't begin after you "find the one" and I wouldn't wait around for her to figure out what she wants.
You're at least smarter than I was, I didn't want advice. lol.
-
-
08-26-2010, 04:27 PM #9Registered User
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Studio City, California, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 1,407
- Rep Power: 1370
I know I'm 21, and I don't plan on getting married for at least another three years (if it is this chick).Originally Posted by DocHol1day
Problem: We live in Chicago where we go to school, my parents are in Michigan. I can't just duck out like that.
She hasn't cut those out but I know she doesn't particularly enjoy giving them. She would just have sex rather than go down on me. She changed things so suddenly.Originally Posted by jason1986
I didn't say anything regarding it. I just kept silent and stared at her. I plan on taking over the couch tonight, probably going to play some Mass Effect 2 after I get back from the gym and maybe have a drink or two.Originally Posted by JohnnyJRambo
My thoughts exactly. Only thing is I can't talk to her about it. We are both hard-headed and it always ends in an argument. I plan to take a step back in the relationship and just kind of observe for awhile. I'm definitely not going to go out of my way anymore and screw buying her anything. Her argument will be based on her faith.Originally Posted by tman0307
Her words: "I'm not going to be a very strict christian, I just don't feel comfortable having sex anymore because of my faith and I haven't for a little while now."
I call bull****. Enjoy me playing video games 24/7 and not doing **** for you.
-
08-26-2010, 04:28 PM #10Banned
- Join Date: May 2008
- Location: United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 22,059
- Rep Power: 0
i got married at 22 and divorced at 24.....Originally Posted by pammybilloni
-
08-26-2010, 04:33 PM #11Physicist in Training
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 8,267
- Rep Power: 9794
As always, spot on bra.Originally Posted by DocHol1day
She's using it as a weapon. There is a really funky dynamic that goes on in women's head when they do this and it's NOT pregnancy. I think if you're experience enough, you will understand this...Originally Posted by jason1986
Good.Originally Posted by tman0307
Yep...Originally Posted by pammybilloni
-
08-26-2010, 04:34 PM #12Banned
- Join Date: May 2008
- Location: United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 22,059
- Rep Power: 0
exactly. shes choosing the elements of her faith that suit her. something else is afoot here. i dont know enough about her or your relationship to know what, but its definately NOT religion. i think you should just be gone for a while. come home late as hell, leave early, spend as much time away as possible. let her imagine you out fukking other women. dont SAY it, dont even imply it. just the fact that your never around will make her think it, and she'll rethink her retarded antics. dont ask permission. dont text to let her know what your doing and where you are, just be gone all the time. go see movies alone if you have to. study at the library. when she calls, dont answer. call back 15 minutes later. when she texts, wait an hour to respond. freeze that bitch out....Originally Posted by Toledous
if theres one thing i know, you can train a woman with attention(if she values your attention). withdraw it when she does things you dont like, reward her with attention when she does.
-
-
08-26-2010, 04:35 PM #13Registered User
- Join Date: Dec 2008
- Age: 33
- Posts: 32,254
- Rep Power: 12989
****ing bitches and their ****ty belief that they own sex in a relationship.
-
08-26-2010, 04:41 PM #14Making it happen
- Join Date: Jul 2009
- Age: 31
- Posts: 989
- Rep Power: 387
This may be irrelevant but you know what one of the number one ways you can tell a woman is cheating is? When the sex stop.
http://trendytablets.com
Thinking about purchasing a tablet? Check out my review site for my perspective on different tablets.
Bench: 235
Squat (ATG): 225x5
Deadlift: 365
-
08-26-2010, 04:45 PM #15
stay with her but fukc other whores , its a win win
-
08-26-2010, 04:48 PM #16Virgin women-hater
- Join Date: Jan 2009
- Age: 43
- Posts: 1,169
- Rep Power: 967
You crazy americans and marriage!
Just do it the french-canadian/euro way; live together and have sex, regular couple and everything, minus the marriage part!Ignoring an attention whore is like stabbing them in the heart. - BreadNGatorade
-
-
08-26-2010, 04:48 PM #17Registered User
- Join Date: Jun 2009
- Location: Ontario, Canada
- Age: 34
- Posts: 13,039
- Rep Power: 40531
And so you haven't dumped her yet because?
-
08-26-2010, 05:05 PM #184doorsmorewhores
- Join Date: Apr 2010
- Location: Texas, United States
- Posts: 10,793
- Rep Power: 147982
Ok, so here are the facts:
-You're only 21 (still young)
-been together for 2 years
-She got fatter and bitchier
-She took away sex because of "faith" but is not going to be "hardcore" Christian (picking and chosing what she thinks is best for her)
-You've only lived together 1 month
-She was accusatory up front about you probably wanting to break up with her
My opinion: She's turning psycho-woman, control freak, ready to change who you are and make you who she wants you to be. She's already doing it with her religion. She probably feels comfortable in the relationship (getting fatter and bitchier) after 2 years, and probably assumes you aren't going anywhere (1 month living together, 11 months left on a lease). The break up comment was probably a guilt trip to make you feel bad before you can even argue against her. Women know that they can use sex to manipulate men, whether it's conscious or not. IMHO, she's starting to try and whittle you down until she's in total control and molding you into what she wants you to be.
I know you can't move out, but if it's a 2 bedroom, I'd take over the other room and be done with her other than having a roommate.
-
08-26-2010, 05:12 PM #19
You need to fix bigger issues... but for a quick fix:
Tell her "Sweetie, i thought about this and I totally respect and understand your decision. I'm definitely willing to wait until marriage to have sex with you. But listen, I'm going to be sleeping with other girls in the meantime, you understand right? Speaking of which, Im gonna head out to the club now. I'll be back in the morning probably. Night honey!"
Turn off your phone, go out, have a blast w/ your friends.
I'd be interested in seeing how committed she is to her religion the next day.
-
08-26-2010, 05:32 PM #20Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2006
- Posts: 4,001
- Rep Power: 704
Age: 21
"my friends wont always be there but the iron will" -teen misc
-
-
08-26-2010, 05:47 PM #21
maybe she is trying to get a ring.
****Tough Love Crew(NH)****
****Do Work Crew****
"U hatin cuz he's stylin on U" = "Are you at all disturbed, or in any way irritated, by that the fact that this particular individual is, in his conduct and in his appearance, usurping your sense of fashion and social grace?"
-
08-26-2010, 05:49 PM #22Banned
- Join Date: Jun 2008
- Location: Japan
- Age: 45
- Posts: 3,318
- Rep Power: 0
kinda sounds like she wants to break up but doesn't want to be the one who did it. :/
strange, actions are strange.
-
08-26-2010, 05:52 PM #23Registered User
- Join Date: Dec 2008
- Age: 41
- Posts: 3,115
- Rep Power: 3355
bj= better than sex... i would make her do this daily until she learned her lesson...
do nothing in return
anger bang her when she gives in...
just play along it will die out first time liquor is involved
she is no longer attracted to you becuz u became a vag.. this will briing it back
-
08-26-2010, 06:14 PM #24Registered User
- Join Date: Nov 2009
- Age: 33
- Posts: 6,340
- Rep Power: 2868
So many wrongs on so many levels, oh lord. If I was you , I'd try and get out as fast as possible or either try and get her out as fast as possible. Relationship isn't going to last, no doubt about that.
-
-
08-26-2010, 06:34 PM #25fixin'
- Join Date: Apr 2010
- Age: 39
- Posts: 1,610
- Rep Power: 1034
If you don't end it this 'realtionship' tomorrow you'll be the biggest beta ******* that has ever lived.
-
08-26-2010, 06:48 PM #26Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2010
- Age: 44
- Posts: 884
- Rep Power: 467
Have you been experiencing any financial problems together brah?
-
08-26-2010, 07:06 PM #27Long time miscer
- Join Date: Jul 2003
- Location: Tennessee, United States
- Posts: 2,484
- Rep Power: 2001
Originally Posted by ezjax
Nah dude. Sex is way better than a bj. Even with a condom I'd take sex anyday.
-
08-26-2010, 07:09 PM #28Registered User
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Studio City, California, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 1,407
- Rep Power: 1370
Not cheating.Originally Posted by Lilluda_5
Thought about it, but no. I would rather end a relationship and be free to pursue other females instead of cheat on one.Originally Posted by waelkd
Been together for about two years. I'm invested and want to find solutions before I act on one.Originally Posted by 7rmr
Probably true. I'll keep this in mind when it comes up again. It's a one bedroom but we have about 1000 sq feet, so I have enough to get my space if I need it.Originally Posted by SpeedCheeser
I don't know how she would react to this. She would either act like she doesn't care, try to make me feel bad for it, or try to get me back by doing the same thing. Think about the movie The Break Up.Originally Posted by Burzmali
Untrue, but a valid point. Her actions say otherwise (besides the obvious topic of this thread).Originally Posted by Kmart23
Honestly this whole situation has turned me off from her. I would rather rub one out than touch her right now. Also, she doesn't drink that often. Maybe 3 times a year, she doesn't really like it, but it would probably work.Originally Posted by ezjax
Very unlikely. I think it is more beta to run away with my tail between my legs saying "You got me." rather than trying to resolve the situation.Originally Posted by deaderinred
Just moved in to condo. Spent thousands on furniture/TV/etc. Money is of course a little tight right now, but we both have jobs and it wont be for too much longer.Originally Posted by aintdatabitch
-
-
08-26-2010, 07:12 PM #29edge it out bro
- Join Date: Aug 2007
- Location: Melbourne, Australia
- Age: 36
- Posts: 4,470
- Rep Power: 5240
thisOriginally Posted by tron_85
.Aussie Supp Misc Family R.I.P 10/10/10.
.Spinal Fusion Crew*
RB 5k+
-
08-26-2010, 07:12 PM #30Registered User
- Join Date: Jan 2010
- Location: New York, United States
- Age: 37
- Posts: 2,854
- Rep Power: 670
Originally Posted by jason1986
sex is a BIG part of a relationship.....I don't care who you are.....and its not like she was this way to begin with....if she had told OP when they first meet that she was waiting then it would be a totally different situation.....but the fact that she has taken the relationship in a completely different direction than it was previously means that OP has a decision to make........if it was me I'd be gone.....like other guy said move in with parents or friends and figure out how to get outta that least.Raw Meet PR's
Squat: 405
Bench: 270
Dead: 465
TRUE statement
Similar Threads
-
My mom took away my whey and my animal pak
By BigL90 in forum Teen BodybuildingReplies: 80Last Post: 02-11-2007, 05:42 PM -
mom took away my whey!!!
By me luvs chicken in forum Teen BodybuildingReplies: 32Last Post: 01-11-2007, 05:13 PM
Bookmarks