I gotta go to work, but I'll write as much as I can remember for now...plus i feel like I got hit by a mac truck in my head.
So last night was my friend chris's Bachelor party, so we all got dressed up, a party limo, and started off VIP at this bar...I'll try to skip over the boreing details. To make a long story short, we started doing these "blackout shots" (I'm not even sure what was in them... like 151, pineapple juice, and some like grenadine.) After 6-8 of those, we were drinking these big 24 oz specialty beers they had on tap. (I was drinking all super dark, high % beers like arrogant bastard.)
So... the next part of the story is what was told to me. Apparently we went to the strip club late (no memory) and apparently at one point, I was literally standing in the corner with my head bobbing up and down with my eyes shutting with drool coming down my face, so everyone just left me a lone. Well about an hour later, they said I ordered a red bull (this is like a couple hours ago) and started being rediculous. Short version - I was macking on all the strippers, standing on chairs, kept saying things like, "I'm balliN btch! so roll those tities down my face!"
well... apparently this one black stipper was reallly taking a shining to me, and they said I was like all into it. After dropping unknown amounts of money (too scared to look at credit card statement, not on there yet since this was a couple of hours ago) I guess she told me to meet her after work in the parking lot. I didn't drive so I was pleading with my DD to wait a couple min after the club closed, and finally agreed after I promised to buy everyone breakfast on my tab.
After waiting like no joke, 45min, as my friend called her, "crackhead Cinnamon" finally came out, took me to her car and we left. I told my friend to pick me up at this motel like 5 min away in 30min (lulz).
(hazy part)So i finally start remembering some sht.. the only details I remember is fcking this black chick (no idea what she looked like) and cumming like a mad man. So I go to pull the condom off... AND THERE WASN'T ANYTHING ON THERE!@ DA FUK!??!?! So I start panicking...and I run and turn the lights on... I look all around, pull the sheets off, I even picked up the whore and looked inside her... NOTHING! She starts getting all loud and asking me wtf I'm doing and if I don't calm down, she's going to make a "call". I kept saying no, not necessary, just let me go to the bathroom cause I wasn't feeling good (i really wasn't either, ha).
So i have no idea if I paid her or WHAT, but once in the bathroom, I started to crawl out the window (had to basically break it, the screen was like screwed in) and I just started RUNNING, ha. I went through a bunch of back allys till I got back to around where the strip club was, and called my boy to pick me up there. He did, and the only other funny thing is that I grabbed a bottle of vodka and was washing my dck off with it, pouring it all over it before we went inside to eat, then I washed my dck and balls off in the bathroom sink, ugh.... Do you think that will do anything to prevent stds or what...