Advice for unattractive men

[UpComming916]

Can you offer some advice for men who bodybuild/workout but are still unattractive to the vast majority of women? I'm generally talking about being unattractive in the face and having a manlet stature.

Because of my situation in live (don't have a social circle with enough single women), I have to mostly meet women in the shallow environments such as bars and nightclubs. Impossible to get signals from women in this environment so I have to take my chances by approaching blindly but get shut out before I even get to finish a single sentence.

I am considering wearing make up/concealers, getting plastic surgery, and changing my look to the emo/scene/gay look, but I'm not sure how this will look on a black guy. The thing is I think at my height the emo look is the only thing that will work since I'm not going to be able to pull out the big bad ass look.

Any suggestions appreciated.

[sonti]

Black or not, most women are pretty turned off by men wearing makeup/emo stuff (if you were 17, I'd say whatever, but at 27 ~ no.... please don't try any kind of emo thing). You might have to change your venues, get involved in other areas to meet women. Hey, I even knew a guy in one of my college education classes that was the only guy out of 30 women. I think he took it just to meet women - it did work, btw. What kind of women are you looking for? I'm almost 26 and at 22-23, lost interest in meeting men at the bar/club. I went looking online (just my preference, it worked for me).

[christina916]

Can you offer some advice for men who bodybuild/workout but are still unattractive to the vast majority of women? I'm generally talking about being unattractive in the face and having a manlet stature.

Because of my situation in live (don't have a social circle with enough single women), I have to mostly meet women in the shallow environments such as bars and nightclubs. Impossible to get signals from women in this environment so I have to take my chances by approaching blindly but get shut out before I even get to finish a single sentence.

I am considering wearing make up/concealers, getting plastic surgery, and changing my look to the emo/scene/gay look, but I'm not sure how this will look on a black guy. The thing is I think at my height the emo look is the only thing that will work since I'm not going to be able to pull out the big bad ass look.

Any suggestions appreciated.

If all else fails, make sure you have a nice sized bank account lmao

[UpComming916]

Black or not, most women are pretty turned off by men wearing makeup/emo stuff (if you were 17, I'd say whatever, but at 27 ~ no.... please don't try any kind of emo thing). You might have to change your venues, get involved in other areas to meet women. Hey, I even knew a guy in one of my college education classes that was the only guy out of 30 women. I think he took it just to meet women - it did work, btw. What kind of women are you looking for? I'm almost 26 and at 22-23, lost interest in meeting men at the bar/club. I went looking online (just my preference, it worked for me).

Yeah I would agree that most women aren't into the emo thing but I planned on trying to market myself to a different crowd since the standard crowd isn't working for me. Bad idea? As for the type women I am looking for, they don't have to be attractive, just someone who is somewhat mature but knows how to have fun. I'm not asking much. I have been out of college for awhile so classes aren't really a option.

[UpComming916]

If all else fails, make sure you have a nice sized bank account lmao

Workin on that right now

[nea_lin]

Maybe you should work on your self-esteem instead...

One of the most attractive things is CONFIDENCE! It also helps if you are friendly and nice, and have a good sense of humour.

[medjen]

Maybe you should work on your self-esteem instead...

One of the most attractive things is CONFIDENCE! It also helps if you are friendly and nice, and have a good sense of humour.

^^This!


And I'll second the vote to change your pool of availability. There are other classes aside from "going to college." Take a cooking class or yoga or join a running club or whatever.

[sherenk]

Maybe you should work on your self-esteem instead...

One of the most attractive things is CONFIDENCE! It also helps if you are friendly and nice, and have a good sense of humour.

This is true. Just walk into a room feeling as if you own it and people in that room work for you. You will have girls flocking towards you.

[5more]

Post pictures! Maybe your overreacting. Unibrow, scarring yellow teeth, bad hair, horrible mustache etc. Maybe us women could give you some better advice if we knew exactly what you look like.

[Jen_K]

Have confidence. No need to be anything but yourself.

[tonym9428]

If all else fails, make sure you have a nice sized bank account lmao

^^^ we have a winner

[whatevergirl]

Have confidence. No need to be anything but yourself.

^^^ this

Sorry OP, that you're struggling with this.

[morganbon14]

It hurts me to hear someone talk this way...First of all..Looks are not the most important thing in the world and you should never feel like you need to change yourself into something you think a women would want. You need to do some soul searching, you need to do what ever it takes to love you self. Find out who you are and be confident in that alone. You need to make it all more about YOU!! what do YOU enjoy doing? what do YOU look for in a partner? what do YOU want for yourself in your future? If you are going to try to make yourself into a "emo" or a "cowboy" or a "biker" no matter what "look" your going for...it's not real, and it's not going to be you. You want someone to love you for who YOU are not for what look you are tryin to go for. I personallly have a dated ALOT of not good looking guys and no one understood..they thought i was crazy, but it's not about what someone looks like its whats in their heart and what they have to offer emotionally. besides everyone defines "attractive" differently. stop trying so hard, focus more on yourself and eventually you will find a woman who loves you for you. and really....finding that special one person is more important than having every woman in the world thinkin your just a hot piece of ass.

[Crazymix]

sorry OP can't relate... just make mone $ she will love you then

[tonym9428]

Can you offer some advice for men who bodybuild/workout but are still unattractive to the vast majority of women? I'm generally talking about being unattractive in the face and having a manlet stature.

Because of my situation in live (don't have a social circle with enough single women), I have to mostly meet women in the shallow environments such as bars and nightclubs. Impossible to get signals from women in this environment so I have to take my chances by approaching blindly but get shut out before I even get to finish a single sentence.

I am considering wearing make up/concealers, getting plastic surgery, and changing my look to the emo/scene/gay look, but I'm not sure how this will look on a black guy. The thing is I think at my height the emo look is the only thing that will work since I'm not going to be able to pull out the big bad ass look.

Any suggestions appreciated.

1. Emo look is bad, regardless of the race

2. I'm also ugly (2-3/10), but I'm not too worried about it. I think you need to have some goals in life and just be preoccupied with things. Go to school, have hobbies, etc. Just keep yourself busy and trying to improve yourself. In time, you'll meet someone special. Even though I'm ugly, I focus on my hobbies, lifting, school, and just try to be better each day. Focus on yourself and everything else will fall in place...in time.

Good luck

[DanielBeauchamp]

It hurts me to hear someone talk this way...First of all..Looks are not the most important thing in the world and you should never feel like you need to change yourself into something you think a women would want. You need to do some soul searching, you need to do what ever it takes to love you self. Find out who you are and be confident in that alone. You need to make it all more about YOU!! what do YOU enjoy doing? what do YOU look for in a partner? what do YOU want for yourself in your future? If you are going to try to make yourself into a "emo" or a "cowboy" or a "biker" no matter what "look" your going for...it's not real, and it's not going to be you. You want someone to love you for who YOU are not for what look you are tryin to go for. I personallly have a dated ALOT of not good looking guys and no one understood..they thought i was crazy, but it's not about what someone looks like its whats in their heart and what they have to offer emotionally. besides everyone defines "attractive" differently. stop trying so hard, focus more on yourself and eventually you will find a woman who loves you for you. and really....finding that special one person is more important than having every woman in the world thinkin your just a hot piece of ass.

Pretty much that, man. ^ Just be yourself. Took me a while to learn that.

[princessTiffany]

Seek out better quality of women. A lot of times when men have these complaints it's because they're going for shallow, closeminded women only because they look good. You get out what you put in.

[TheAmazon]

Seek out better quality of women. A lot of times when men have these complaints it's because they're going for shallow, closeminded women only because they look good. You get out what you put in.

*golf claps*

[uk3mi]

2. I'm also ugly (2-3/10), but I'm not too worried about it.

Is that your picture? you have something of Muhammad Ali when he was younger. That is not ugly!

[discdoggie]

Is that your picture? you have something of Muhammad Ali when he was younger. That is not ugly!

You mean Cassius Clay. And I agree. Both on the resemblance and the non-ugly part.

[princessTiffany]

*golf claps*

Aw. Sadly, not a lot of guys appreciate that kind of advice. And not a lot of women even consider it.

[mr_ben]

Post pictures! Maybe your overreacting. Unibrow, scarring yellow teeth, bad hair, horrible mustache etc. Maybe us women could give you some better advice if we knew exactly what you look like.

im in for the pic.

[DannyBoy7]

Maybe you should work on your self-esteem instead...

One of the most attractive things is CONFIDENCE! It also helps if you are friendly and nice, and have a good sense of humour.

^^ expand on this lol

describe what you would say is "confident" behavior.

[whatevergirl]

^^ expand on this lol

describe what you would say is "confident" behavior.

I will say what I think it means to me...being happy in your own skin. Not second guessing one's self. Confidence in your abilities, but humble to admit when you're lacking. Not being insecure. So...when a guy is around a girl he likes...he doesn't seem like she is ''above'' him. That is a turn off. Now, a guy shouldn't be arrogant, either. But, confidence shows that you realize your value. Just my two cents.

[skinnyfatlean]

I will say what I think it means to me...being happy in your own skin. Not second guessing one's self. Confidence in your abilities, but humble to admit when you're lacking. Not being insecure. So...when a guy is around a girl he likes...he doesn't seem like she is ''above'' him. That is a turn off. Now, a guy shouldn't be arrogant, either. But, confidence shows that you realize your value. Just my two cents.

agree with this

[viridian]

I dont agree with that. I dont know how many times Ive done the glance at a couple - the woman is 10x hotter than her guy but their relationship is perfect because their personalities go together so well and he treats her incredibly well - which is something alot of better looking guy seem incapable of doing.

Its all individual. The relationships that last arent based on looks -theyre based on what matters and withstands the test of time

[princessTiffany]

I dont agree with that. I dont know how many times Ive done the glance at a couple - the woman is 10x hotter than her guy but their relationship is perfect because their personalities go together so well and he treats her incredibly well - which is something alot of better looking guy seem incapable of doing.

Its all individual. The relationships that last arent based on looks -theyre based on what matters and withstands the test of time

This also communicates that men mostly, no matter where they rank on the scale, usually concentrate on really attractive girls and won't give a less attractive girl (or an equal on the scale) a chance; no matter how great her personality is. No matter how smart she is.

This is why dudes like the OP have these problems. They go after looks (instead of personality) and get out what they put in.

[DannyBoy7]

I will say what I think it means to me...being happy in your own skin. Not second guessing one's self. Confidence in your abilities, but humble to admit when you're lacking. Not being insecure. So...when a guy is around a girl he likes...he doesn't seem like she is ''above'' him. That is a turn off. Now, a guy shouldn't be arrogant, either. But, confidence shows that you realize your value. Just my two cents.

alright thanks for expanding on that . but honestly, i think there needs to be more confident women out there too. lol i mean i'll be talking to a girl, and she'll be like putty in my hands. which in a way is good, but for example, it can be hard to keep an interesting conversation going when the girl won't even show their true personality due to their own insecurities.

This also communicates that men mostly, no matter where they rank on the scale, usually concentrate on really attractive girls and won't give a less attractive girl (or an equal on the scale) a chance; no matter how great her personality is. No matter how smart she is.

This is why dudes like the OP have these problems. They go after looks (instead of personality) and get out what they put in.

well you can't blame us, it's just our natural behavior. women are like that too though! you can't tell me that women aren't more likely to give an attractive man a chance rather than a man that is less attractive. i've observed that when choosing someone, you'll usually make a sacrifice in some qualities. like for example, maybe the person has a great personality, but isn't as good-looking and vice-versa. everyone is different when it come to what qualities are important.

[whatevergirl]

alright thanks for expanding on that . but honestly, i think there needs to be more confident women out there too. lol i mean i'll be talking to a girl, and she'll be like putty in my hands. which in a way is good, but for example, it can be hard to keep an interesting conversation going when the girl won't even show their true personality due to their own insecurities.

Yeah, I think it can be said for girls, too. No doubt. But, as we get older too, we become more confident. I remember high school...everyone trying to just fit in. When you go off to college, it's a whole new thing...you can be yourself, and everyone is doing their own thing...it's just a different world than high school.

[DannyBoy7]

Yeah, I think it can be said for girls, too. No doubt. But, as we get older too, we become more confident. I remember high school...everyone trying to just fit in. When you go off to college, it's a whole new thing...you can be yourself, and everyone is doing their own thing...it's just a different world than high school.

so you're saying it's an age thing? good lol