Federal Judge forbids Black mothers from naming children

[deadlifta123]

After Judge Cabrera’s historic ruling, little Clitoria Jackson will likely undergo a name change.

(DETROIT) In a decision that’s expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.

“I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children,” said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision. “Someone had to put a stop to it.”

The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.

“They are the worst perpetrators,” he said. “They put in apostrophes where none are needed. They think a ‘Q’ is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you’re a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those.”

Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.

“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.

Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.

“Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor,” Cabrera said.

His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.

“She said it would make me stand out,” said the girl, whose name can’t be reproduced by The Peoples News’ technology. “But it’s really just stupid.”

The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision.

“Oh my God, the first day of school you’d be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering ‘How do I pronounce Q’J’Q’Sha.’?” said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman. “Is this even English?”

The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.

“I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University. “Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”

Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives.

[HexC]

r...

[CtrlAltElite]

Where did you find this? This has never been posted before.

[trackblonston]

clitor.................... ia

[StudzMcSexy]

cool story bro

[calbaisey]

i've never seen it before, but the judge needs to suck a cock, the black moms need to suck a cock too, wtf kinda names is that? I'm black and my mother named me uncle, my surname is tom, that is a pretty pronouncable and respectable name for a brotha like me.

[randombrah102]

Da **** lol, black women cant name thier kids anymore? I just skimmed through it though so I might have missed something lol

[nohcOR]

Links for proof.

[Big_Carphuna]

My ex named my son Zeandre. Try telling people, everyday, that you pronounce it "like you place a ze in front of Andre"...and hearing them call him "Zandre"...

[LawlKing]

[ProbateTed]

lol at anyone thinking this is real. Phucking idiots. Still lol:

“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.

[RipedRX]

lolz clitoria.......

[_Ishy]

Links for proof.

lol

[finkdizzle]

I work at a well known childrens hospital and you wouldn't believe some of the f**ked up names they come up with....i laugh my ass off somedays!

[scotyg]

i lold

watch this though





**** somebody beat me to it

[IWorked4It]

Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives.



wut

[Beachbum1546]

lol, this must be from the Onion.

[IRONS777]

I has a relevant story: last night my wife is telling me about one of her students(she teaches middle school science) and kept saying a girls name, pronouncing it "Twa-Nayel". After a few times I asked "shes black right?" "How da fukk is it spelled." Wife says"you won't believe it, it is spelled Tonail" and the first few times she pronounced it in class she said "Toenail" until the girl corrected her. WTF!!!!! that mother really fukked her kid in life, everyone who sees her name will try and pronounce it Toenail!!! (srs)(no BS)

[UrbanNomad]

old but totally agree, meaningless names are terrible.

[LordBroski]

repost is a repost.

but it still makes me lol every time (no racist)

[deadlifta123]

lol at people not noticing judge's name

[Sounds Good]

legit source please?