GF told me she was raped when she was younger by her stepfather(srs)
Okay so i've been seeing this girl for a few months now, I really like her.
She recently told me that from the ages of 12-15 her stepfather repeatedly raped her, he went to court and is in jail for life now.
Now I feel so weird, how would you brahs feel if you were in my position?
What would you do/say?
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05-18-2010, 11:59 AM #1Registered User
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GF told me she was raped when she was younger by her stepfather(srs)
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05-18-2010, 12:01 PM #2Registered User
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sorry bro i think i may have a few misc brahs on here that know her alsoOriginally Posted by damnthisburns
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05-18-2010, 12:02 PM #3Registered User
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Just be there for her if/when she needs to talk. Be supportive, but don't dwell on it. Show her that having a penis does not have to make you an @sshole (wut?
) and that she deserves love.
It's a big deal, but don't make it into something more than it is, so she can continue moving forward with her life.
(I work with a lot of kids that have had this happen - others' reactions to it is more traumatizing than the event itself, so just remember that, and try to just be a good BF.)
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05-18-2010, 12:02 PM #4spell of iron
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thats actually pretty common. get used to it. chances are you will end up meeting a few more girls with similar stories in the future. dont let it get to you, just shut up and listen whenever she wants to talk about it.
oh and OP, i cant generalize, but the girls ive met that have had this happen have alot more issues than girls who it hasnt happened to. im not saying to get out, but before you get into anything too serious realize that you are gonna have to deal with alot more **** than you know.Last edited by de_barathrum; 05-18-2010 at 12:05 PM.
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05-18-2010, 12:04 PM #5Registered User
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Originally Posted by LunicaAshes
Just be there for her if/when she needs to talk. Be supportive, but don't dwell on it. Show her that having a penis does not have to make you an @sshole (wut?) and that she deserves love.
It's a big deal, but don't make it into something more than it is, so she can continue moving forward with her life.
(I work with a lot of kids that have had this happen - others' reactions to it is more traumatizing than the event itself, so just remember that, and try to just be a good BF.)
Ahh, yeah honestly I see what you mean. Can't help that empty feeling I get now when I think about it though. Thanks for the advice
Alright brother thanks for the adviceOriginally Posted by de_barathrum
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05-18-2010, 12:06 PM #6Registered User
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bump for more input
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05-18-2010, 12:06 PM #7Yea I'm Different
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Recognize the srs tag fellas......
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05-18-2010, 12:06 PM #8Registered User
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stop having sex with her, having sex with her will bring back those horrifying images of her stepfather. What you should do brah is to cook for her, make sammich for her, and lick her toes. But do remember to post few feet pics.
im like getting the feeling of cumming in the gym, im getting the feeling of cumming at home,im getting the feeling of cumming backstage when i pump up, when i go out in front of 5000 people, im getting the same feeling that im cumming day and night. i mean its terrific, rite. so u know im in heaven.
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05-18-2010, 12:07 PM #9Registered User
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If you are sexually active and there isn't a problem that is a big hurdle. Many women that I have known with that type of history, sex can be a real issue for a long time even with their husband. Often times therapy is needed, or like some of my punk old friends the man will leave her for someone without those issues.
Expect Nothing
Never Be Disappointed
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05-18-2010, 12:07 PM #10here I come 20inch club
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IMO prob better to just be friends and not be more until you know her better. She might have one of her moments and you'd prob not like it.
Facts and common sense defeats ignorance and drama.
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
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05-18-2010, 12:07 PM #11Registered User
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Why does it seem like all girls have a rape story?
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05-18-2010, 12:08 PM #12Back from 2 year break!
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"Oh... well...Originally Posted by hiddenkilla
Was it at least good?"Pennsylvania State University Alumni: Nutritional Sciences
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05-18-2010, 12:09 PM #13Bulking
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I dated a chic when I was highschool that went thru a similar situation. She had been thru lots a theropy to help her deal with the mental issues involved. She claimed that victims usually go one of two ways, they don't like sex at all, or they can't get enough.
She couldn't get enough.
Turned out she was a habitual liar and fuqed anything with a dik, so take that for want you want.
Needless to say, we didn't date long.
Edit: Couldn't agree more with the poster above that stated they have many more issues. I can only draw from that one experience, but if she was indicative of the group then, yeah, buckle your seatbelt.Last edited by haulingboat; 05-18-2010 at 12:13 PM.
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05-18-2010, 12:09 PM #14Registered User
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honestly i would break up with her.Originally Posted by LunicaAshes
Just be there for her if/when she needs to talk. Be supportive, but don't dwell on it. Show her that having a penis does not have to make you an @sshole (wut?) and that she deserves love.
It's a big deal, but don't make it into something more than it is, so she can continue moving forward with her life.
(I work with a lot of kids that have had this happen - others' reactions to it is more traumatizing than the event itself, so just remember that, and try to just be a good BF.)
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05-18-2010, 12:11 PM #15Registered User
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thing is, her stepfather didn't just rape her, it was on a day basis for 3 years..Originally Posted by PumpedPecs
i've never dated someone who's been through something like this before/
know how to accept it
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05-18-2010, 12:12 PM #16Goodbye CC
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I would have Bert stared and changed the subject.
They couldn't go back to the Greasers
All they could do was pick up the pieces
Surely Brenda and Eddie would always find a way to survive
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05-18-2010, 12:13 PM #17Old School Member #725
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I would reply but it might sound inappropriate, So good luck with her.Originally Posted by hiddenkilla
15+ years on BB.Com and going strong..
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05-18-2010, 12:13 PM #18what if she says he raped her after that?Originally Posted by PumpedPecs
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05-18-2010, 12:13 PM #19Banned
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he probably was changing her diaper and they called that rape. lying bishes..
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05-18-2010, 12:14 PM #20Banned
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you trollin brah?
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05-18-2010, 12:14 PM #21The Fister
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The question is, does it affect her now. If not, don't bring it up - there's nothing to gain.
If she is affected by this past abuse, help her get over those hurdles. She possibly has male issues, trust issues, intimacy issues, that you can help her get over by proving that what happened to her is not going to happen again.
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05-18-2010, 12:14 PM #22420 Friendly
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ive had to deal with a similar situation, girl told me she was raped in highschool....but in highschool she was also the town whore. I cant say i really believe her because the story just has too many holes that make it really hard to believe it was "rape". Ill never know tho.
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05-18-2010, 12:15 PM #23Registered User
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She will probably never handle her intimate feelings well during the time you know her. Unfortunately she has a jaded few of men and how a father should treat their daughter. I would seriously consider backing away slowly and exiting the relationship. The longer you know her and the closer you try to get she will act out in ways you will not understand or control. A Red flag is waving upon the horizon.
Whoa Guy!
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05-18-2010, 12:15 PM #24Registered User
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No man, I'm 100% serious. Please respect my serious tagOriginally Posted by bbacn123
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05-18-2010, 12:16 PM #25Registered User
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damn that's freakin rough. i would feel really bad breaking up with her. but i can't even imagine the type of issues she must have. she hasn't portrayed any mental instability?Originally Posted by hiddenkilla
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05-18-2010, 12:17 PM #26Rustle Westbrook
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i never knew that "new" had a K in itOriginally Posted by slackjaw33
Age: 31
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05-18-2010, 12:17 PM #27Registered User
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Nope, she acts completely normal which i'm wondering about. She says shes fine, and happy.Originally Posted by PumpedPecs
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05-18-2010, 12:17 PM #28Banned
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That's why I askedOriginally Posted by hiddenkilla
Anyway, my advice is it would be an ass hole move to break up with her. What's happened has happened. Let her know if she wants to talk about it it's ok and you'll listen. Otherwise continue on with your life.
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05-18-2010, 12:17 PM #29Registered User
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If you refuse to be in a relationship where there are going to be unpleasant moments, you're in for a very lonely life.Originally Posted by Armando777
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05-18-2010, 12:18 PM #30
in all seriousness the best thing to do is leave her asap , shes basically letting you know shes fuked in the head and testing how you react to it. shes wheeling you in and youre gonna be fuked , gtfo asap.
) and that she deserves love.
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