Depends on the situation, but I find subtle kino works best to break that touch barrier and make the girl comfortable with you. Also other times when I KNOW that a girl is jockin' I will purposely sit back and let her initiate the touching which they usually do. I like to make it seem in the flow of things; for example I might be walking up to a girl and she might not be facing me. So I will put my hand on her shoulder for a quick second as I walk up or the small of her back, start to ask her a question, say hi or whatever and then take my hand away as quick as I put it there. When I'm out with girls, I will often do the same shiat like opening a door and letting them walk thru first so I can put my hand on her back/shoulder/@ss (lol) for a second as we walk thru.Awesome thread indeed. I have no problems talking to women, or maintaining EC during a date or anything. What i struggle with is the attraction part, initiating kino and physical contact in general and what not is difficult if you cant control where you are...
When in a booth at a restaurant or sitting at a bar, I like to play stupid little quirky games like Rock, Paper, Scissors or Thumb War etc; all things that break the touch barrier, escalate the attraction and most importantly help the girl have FUN.
Its only creepy if you make it feel creepy. A girl who is into you won't mind one bit if you sit by her in the booth. With that said I usually sit across as well esp if its the first or second time I'm hanging out with her. Actuallly to be honest I NEVER take girls to dinner, so I'm not in that situation often. But when I do I will across and just focus on having fun. If I touch her cool, if I don't I don't no big deal. Don't think so mechanically about all this, like must to x-y and z. What will benefit you is to control the conversation, make her qualify herself to you and keep an eye on how SHE interacts with you. Does she touch you, does she smile or hold EC for a while etc.Like go to a bar after dinner with a chick, but the entire area at the bar is full so your stuck sitting at a booth...your across from each other you cant be all grubby and reaching across the table. And trying to sit on the same side of the booth just seems like it would scare chicks off as too aggressive.
SH
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04-26-2012, 09:52 AM #661NASM CPT
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04-26-2012, 09:59 AM #662
Don't stress on what's already done.
Just don't initiate pointless texts like the "Good Morning" bs that you were doing before. Your absence helps increase attraction because it makes a girl WONDER what your doing and most importantly WHO you are doing whatever your doing with.
Its okay to like a girl, just don't fall into the trap of making her the center of your universe.
Women are attracted to men who have lives; if you suddenly stop hanging with your friends, stop going to the gym as much or pursuing any of your other hobbies because your spending all that time talking with this girl on the phone, she will eventually get bored of you because she KNOWS you like her wayyyy too much too soon.
Its okay to respond to her texts, its okay to initiate texts, just don't get into the habit of doing it always. Sometimes you can reply right, sometimes you shouldn't. You know how I decide whether I do or not? If its a pointless text, I don't respond; why would I?
A girl sent me a text the other day that said "Yayyyyy I'm so happy I got done with my test!!" Why the phuck would I have anything to say about that??! LOL
Also one-itis is ALWAYS caused by NOT having other options. You need to continue meeting new girls, getting #'s securing dates. This gives you an abundance mentality and confidence that you won't have when all your eggs are in one basket.
Its not too late; change your role and she will chase you.
BTW she likes you a lot too so for now your good, just change it up and she will start stalking you! lol
SHNASM CPT
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04-26-2012, 10:06 AM #663
In the famous words of Will Farrell's Dad in Talladega Nights:
"YOU'VE GOT TO FACE YOUR FEAR SON!!" haha
No but seriously bro; you have to put yourself out there. Experience is the only teacher.
Analogy time:
When you first started lifting you were probably a small skinny kid. Intimidated by the other dudes who were much bigger than you in the free weight area right?
How did you tackle that mission? Maybe you bought weights and lifted in your garage for a while until you put on some size. Or maybe you said phuck it I'm going to wear big long sleeve shirts and just lift. In either case, I'm sure after a few weeks you realized no one in the gym (for the most part) gives a phuck about a young kid trying to get bigger. They are all there to work and improve their body, they aren't focused on you.
Same way, the people at the store are there for a reason, they might notice you talking to a girl; are they going to laugh and point at you when you do? Hell no!
Furthermore, this girl was attracted to you already (before you even said anything), which is the green light. So you honestly could've just made eye contact with her, held it and smiled. She would've smiled back and then you could've said literally anything "Hi" "What brings you to Walgreen's today" "how may I help you" etc etc blah blah blah.
Back to the weight room analogy.
You didn't start benching 225 on your first day right. You had to build up to that level.
Same thing with approaching girls.
Start with girls who your not attracted to or don't intimidate you (its all mental anyways; its what makes Kobe a killer in the clutch and someone else a pansy; he's not afraid of the outcome good or bad)
Once you build up your confidence from talking to these lower tier girls, start moving up to more attractive ones until you get to the point where you realize its as easy as 1-2-3!
Shoot me a PM if you need more advice or help.
SHNASM CPT
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05-03-2012, 01:14 PM #664
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05-03-2012, 10:30 PM #665
- Join Date: Feb 2009
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thought I would add this, some good vids.. I assume it would help a good amount for some people
http://www.youtube.com/user/stephanerdman#g/uLast edited by AntoineDufour; 05-03-2012 at 10:53 PM.
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05-04-2012, 12:34 PM #666
You sir, are an idiot...
You ACTUALLY think women are smarter? If they were smart, they'd know when a great guy shows up and it's their chance to let him in, instead they close their doors because he's broke, or because he doesn't dress fashionably, or because he doesn't have a great car, but the guy could simply be working and saving his money for school or a house, and he could be broke but very hard working and finishing school, then in later years, LOTS OF FUKING women regret their younger years because of how shallow and stupid they were...
No offense, but your post is the most retarded in this entire thread... Women are smarter than men? Why is it the men 'planning' to get sex? That's obvious... Because "WOMEN" aren't satisfied enough if a guy just comes and genuinely says "I like you, I really like you". He NEEDS a plan because bitches think of the dumbest **** and reject guys like its nothing... They get sex when they want? WELL NO FUKIN SH!T?? THEY GOT THE PUSSY AND TITS! They don't know what they want either, you couldn't be further from the truth... They do all want different things, but even they don't know what they are... Men know, it's frikin' easy: get a job, get money, finish school, fool around while you're young, get married, get a house, get kids, the end. Women: Get an @sshole, dump him, whine to her bff, who is shoved deep in the friend zone, look for a bf with money, still an @sshole, consider becoming lesbian, finish school, continue being blind, having money but no one to share it with, look at your past, be jealous of that friend-zoned guy who's now married and happy, hook up with strangers online, die, the end. Keep in mind this story can vary in THOUSANDS of ways... Why? Because women are fuking born confused, they don't know what they want, and because of that, it is hard for men to get women... See what happened to chivalry? There, 'nuff said...
Also, starting as a friend is the ONE AND SURE WAY to NEVER get that girl... I've been friends with hundreds of chicks... Barely hooked up with 2% of them.... You never heard of the friend-zone eh? Not to mention reading your post is so hard because you clearly have no idea what grammar is... God damn, learn proper english...
You say its "how you say stuff, not what he says" then you say right after "keeping the girl stimulated".... Buddy, to keep her interested, your tone of voice won't be what keeps her talking to you, if you're talking about random ass sh!t, if you say it in a very manly voice, she's still leaving... Stop contradicting yourself, it's WHAT and WHEN you say things... Both of them...
One more thing, you're telling people to do the EXACT opposite of what coalman/saucehead are saying...
"girls want what they want, some want money some want love
its all different
find out what girl wants and give it"
???
Um, no? You don't just give her what she wants... Wtf? She wants money you pay for all her sh!t? She wants love so you suck up to her and make sure you're not the guy she will love back? I hope no one actually listens to your dumb suggestions because clearly, your 'girlfriend' (supposing she exists) must be one easy chick...Last edited by Amine999; 05-04-2012 at 12:39 PM.
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05-04-2012, 02:09 PM #667
Good stuff man.
Well from my experience it is ok to sit across from them at the booth. You can keep EC easier and you won't bump elbows if you are eating. It just seems to flow better. If you are a 50 year old couple who are highschool sweet hearts then the same side of the booth is okay I guess lol. I always had success sitting across. However, I never tried sitting next to a chick so IDK if that would be better or worse or what.
But I had chicks tell me that they like sitting across the booth so they can look at you Looking good ftw. (which was like the first rule in the OP)
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05-05-2012, 10:44 AM #668
90-95% of game is non-verbal
I love that you put so many non-verbal signs in black-and-white text, it really helped me realize just how many times I was overlooking them. But there's a problem for me with picking up on the signs. I have a rare eye disease called retinitis pigmentosa which has caused my vision to deteriorate and will continue to do so until I go blind. Well I'm not blind yet, I still have a little less than 5% of my vision, but the remaining vision is my central vision so I can still walk around and read (with reading glasses) etc, I just can't drive or walk well in crowded places where there are people all around me without bumping into a few. I just have zero peripheral vision, I see only what I'm directly looking at. If I'm standing normal talking distance from you and I'm looking at your eyes then all I see are your eyebrows, cheeks, and chin, it's basically and extreme form of tunnel vision. So because I have no peripherals how am I supposed to pick up on so many of those non-verbal signs. About the only ones I can pick up on are the facial/direct touch signs. And since I'm supposed to maintain EC how do I pick up on the other signs without constantly moving my eyes to check?
I haven't started the challenge of meeting 5 girls a day until I meet 50 girls yet since I just read this thread last night and finals are this coming week. But I would like to know if you have any tips on how I can overcome this problem I'm having with reading the non-verbal signs. I realize that first I have to start the challenge and just become comfortable with initiating convo but I'd still like to know what I can do.
I'm lucky in the sense that I'm an attractive guy with a very nice body so I've always been pretty lucky with the few girls I have dated but I'm ready to stop being a huge AFC and start becoming and Alpha. I'm a great listener so a lot of times I miss out on all of these non-verbal signs that she's interested and get either Nexted or many times I become the Intellectual Whore. But the whole being legally blind and not being able to drive thing has caused me to develop into a huge AFC with major shyness problems around girls. I know that's not my true personality for the simple fact that when I'm with friends I'm very loud, outgoing and fun. But around girls I don't know I always close up and become very shy and quiet. But like I said I'm lucky that I'm and attractive guy so a lot of the time the girl initiates the convo and I just miss out on many of the non-verbal signals or I psych myself out in my head and end completely destroying what flow of convo the girl had started. But I'm tired of waiting for a girl to initiate things, I'm ready to be the one initiating and I'm ready to be an Alpha. So any tips would be greatly appreciated.
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05-05-2012, 09:17 PM #669
I THINK THAT THE ADVICE ON WOMEN AT THE BEGINNING OF THE POST GIVES UNNECESSARY STUFF.
HERE'S HOW TO GET A CHICK:
1. DRESS WELL: you don't have to spend huge amounts on clothes (although dressed expensively does wonders indeed, trust me). All you need is:
a good shoe, (no cheap shoes please, brand names count in the shoes here best brands nike, maybe adidas, and others). Your shoe should not be CHEAP AT ALL. but converses are really cool too. ONCE AGAIN SHOES ARE VERY, VERY, VERY important
good quality shirts: like a plain but high quality t-shirt. Always have a white and black good quality plain t-shirt in the closet. also find out your best colours and wear them, look up the season analysis. also you can have a t-shirt in your best colour too.
have nice shirts, don't be cheap here please, just good quality shirts. Brand names are good too like echo, rocawear etc. In fact invest in at least three expensive shirts, they'll come in handy; the other shirts don't have to be expensive just above average price, a little.
you DON'T have to have a watch, or expensive ********* trust me. no ********* won't even matter. but it can make your outfit look better.
2. Have a nice smell, whether that be by bodyspray or whatever. A good perfume, would be very nice as it serves as a conversation starter for girls sometimes.
3. Have good hygiene. White teeth, shave that beard (lots of girls hate beard, surprised?)
4. Keep fit. You don't have to be really ripped. Although it makes women more physically and especially sexually attracted to you. Also women like to boast so the can tell their friends of the ripped guy they met whenever.
5. Crack jokes with women. Women talk so other chicks will find out that you are a fun guy.
CONVERSING WITH WOMEN:
Women enjoy being approached. Even if a guy they don't like approaches them, in secret mentally they add that to how desirable they are as women. That is the truth.
Also in part women might have created that nervousness in men as for centuries it was their only card to play over men. Using the men's desire for them to get what they want. What else could the oppressed women have done anyways?
Enough bull****. Tips:
1. A simple hi is the best pickup phrase. The days of using shakespeare language to attract women are over, get with the future.
2. Just ask questions when you go up to a girl. That's all ask questions.
3. Crack a few jokes, light teasing would be nice. In fact teasing in itself is a good way to pick up girls, it has to be very light though and flattering to the girl e.g. seeing a girl in a shoe store looking at a shoe. "Why pick up a shoe less pretty than you feet?"
or seeing a girl buying a bag, "Ahh so that's one of your tools to attract so many men here?"
4. Some girls don't smile when they like a guy so don't think the girl has to smile at you to like you. Several girls dont. However if a girl smiles at you, get the hell over by her. if you don't thats rejection to her and chicks don't like rejection at all.
5. After talking for a short (i.e. less than four minutes) ask her out or for her number. In fact that could be the third or fourth question you ask her. Talking too long without ask for that can end you up in the friend zone and iit can waste your time if after 15 mins of talking you find out she has a boyfriend.
sheeeet
Myths:
1. CONFIDENCE
You have to give off an air of confidence to get the girl. BULL****. Once you approach her and be friendly and nice she'll be interested unless she had a bad day, or a boyfriend, or something else.
2. YOU HAVE TO BE AN ALPHA TO GET LOTS OF GIRLS
BULL. You don't just treat the girl as an equal and you are good. no alpha crap.
3. YOU HAVE TO WARM HER UP TO YOU TO GET HER IN BED
Once again my friends, BULL. Yes you should never be an a******, but you don't have to waste 15 mins warming her up. to speed process up, tell her she's sexy after three minutes of talking. then slowly drop hints at what you want through physical cues such as staring intensely in her eyes, biting your lips or wetting your bottom lip, grinning after cracking a naughty joke. sometimes all these can be done within six minutes or five or less. it depends on where and if she's in the mood or can be placed in the mood. its better to let her know, not crudely of course what you want than making her feel that you might be interested in her for her personality.
4. GIRLS ONLY LIKE CONFIDENT MEN
Once again, b. girls are intrigued by shy guys and find a shy guy liking them to be flattering. however they do like strong hints from the shy guy, like smiling, or telling them they are pretty. in fact several girls like to boast about making a shy, hot guy be their boyfriend (hey i guess they think he might not cheat and will treat them wayy better than other guys treat them, more sensitive therefore romantic etc.)
SO TO END IF YOU WANT TO KNOW JUST THREE THINGS TO GET THE GIRL:
GOOD SHOES, GOOD GROOMING, AND JUST APPROACHING THE GIRL. After sometime a girl will, not might, willllll say yes.
If anyone says my advice sucks I will hang my left nut on a tree. Cuz it works. Tired of pickup artists us feel like we are not enough. I may even post this on another thread, just to get rid of these pickup artists making women seem like a science.
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05-07-2012, 02:17 PM #670
The new formula for picking up chicks..
Cole Man,
I know u posted this 2 years ago but I've read almost all of the post and agree with your alpha PUA methods 100%. I was like you, a "nice guy" LJBF'd a lot in the past but I've had more success in just the past 2 months or so since reading this post. Thanks, its changed my whole attitude and lifestyle. I'm not a master PUA by any means lol but I'm working on it. I'm down to try that challenge that you proposed about approaching random chicks. if you have any advice or anything to say in response hit me back. itd be cool to hear from the man who wrote this himself. That post is a masterpiece. I'm following it like its a bible
-Steve
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05-10-2012, 02:11 AM #671
Anyone remember the part of the original thread where it was saucehead (or maybe it was someone else) that basically laid out a ton of stories of how he changed his ways from being an AFC to a PUA. Basically it was about him and his cousin (bob?) and the cousin was basically the man that got him into all sorts of situations where he was able to pick up crazy amounts of girls, etc. I think a lot of the stories were exaggerated but some of them were pretty inspirational and educational.
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05-11-2012, 06:36 AM #672
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05-11-2012, 06:59 AM #673
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05-11-2012, 04:56 PM #674
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05-13-2012, 12:06 AM #675
Could offer some insight into your experiences with girls when you had braces? I've been wearing these things for like two years now - and it seems like its an instant turnoff for a guy my age (26). Some younger girls I work with said I could pass for someone who is still in high school. Obviously I want nothing to do with high school skanks (I cannot stand talking to immature girls), but the chicks my age seem to write me off as "too young" even when I'm older than them. Should I just stop giving a chit until I get the braces off, then worry about my game?
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05-15-2012, 04:43 PM #676
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05-22-2012, 04:48 PM #677
- Join Date: May 2011
- Location: Miami, Florida, United States
- Posts: 6,903
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Hey Sauce, next time you decide to pop back in here I need both general and specific advice. Part 1 is the general, where 2 is the specific. Answer whichever you feel like, but preferably both.
Part 1: Ever since I joined this site and used this forum to help my game, I've fallen into the same cycle like 3 times.
1. Get positive
2. Start getting really social
3. Start making alot of friends
4. Get alot of women interested
5. Focus on one chick
6. Phuck up
7. Get depressed for short time
It's all about the plenty of fish mentality, and despite my best efforts I'm unable to truly adopt it. At this moment I legit have 4 or 5 chicks out right interested in me, but I'm closed in on only one of them. It's not to the extent that it is one-itis, but fuark I'd rather have that one chick over any of the other ones. The way I've observed this "trap" works is that after I get 4-5 girls interested, I get really confident and decide to pick and choose. Because all these chicks are interested I can have whichever one I want, so I obviously pick the hottest. At this point I go through a slightly and unconscious behavioral change around that girl, and slowly start to become more beta. This clingyness and obvious attraction on my part seems to always turn them off at the last phucking second. Meanwhile I act the same around the other girls which keeps them interested, but I'm so pissed about losing the one I "chose" I don't want anything to do with the other ones.
How do you pursue a specific female, whilst remaining alpha? I've pretty much figured out that I can only stay alpha and attractive in my social circle when I'm not really hitting on the girls, and just acting like a general badass. When I start to go after the one I want however, sh*t goes downhill. I don't seem to have this problem with new girls outside my social circle either.
I'm sick and tired of getting so close with so many women, then when it seems like I have a 99% chance of success, failing miserably. It feels as if everything comes crashing down right as I'm about to hit a glorious peak of PUA glory.
Part 2: So if you read part 1, atm I have about 4ish girls outright into me. Asking me to take them to prom, asking if I have a gf etc. One of these chicks is a fairly long term friend, and we just started talking good again. I was getting tons of IOI's from here, and she was/is all over me. What ultimately convinced me she was into me was the fact that every time we laugh together she would cling to me like a Koala, and would pretty much use any excuse to touch/hug/hold me. For the last month she has kept asking me if I'm going to prom, and I am. Neither of us have dates (to my knowledge but im pretty sure she doesn't have one either). She's pretty hawt and DTF, which I know because she makes sexual references as often as any man. Now this week I decided I would make it clear I wanted to smash and take her to prom (saturday). We had a good day screwing around, and I invited her to the movies Friday (don't hate, pretty much only place along with the gym I'm allowed to go). Any of the other girls that are into me would have been ecstatic, instead she made this face for a few seconds like "Aw fuark, he's trying to make a move now because he thinks I like him". I persisted, and she finally agreed but was really unenthusiastic about it and said her parents might shoot the idea down.
It might seem trivial, but I was expecting her to jump on the chance. It feels like I've been friendzoned, although there's no way I am and she's that touchy touchy all the time. Wtf gives RH? And how do I proceed? I don't want to take any of the other girls as I don't want any LTR's with them so it might start alot of drama sh*t.“I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large societies and dead institutions.” -Emerson
"If one day the speed kills me, do not cry because I was smiling" -Paul Walker
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05-22-2012, 05:36 PM #678
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05-25-2012, 05:40 PM #679
This is actually really good....
How long did this take you to write? I totally commend you for writing all of this! It's pretty amazing.
BUT from a girls perspective...a lot of this could be a generalization.
sooo This guide may or may not help you xD
This could probably attract a certain type of girl, but not everyone. Every girl has their own type of guy they like.
I will read all of this later so I can give a better comment about it. ^_^
but you are one smart man...how much research did it take to do this? O.o
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05-28-2012, 09:59 PM #680
- Join Date: May 2011
- Location: Perth, W.A, Australia
- Age: 26
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Really good read, to bad I keep forgetting what I read lul.
Loved the 'Lesson: The simple art of Conversation'
p.s phuck life's hard."Gotta do what you gotta do in order to be successful"
*Mod changed my sig to "Sig line can't be a novel" even though lots of people have longer sigs crew
*Mod is watching me while I sleep.....
*KENKONGs fan club crew*
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05-28-2012, 11:59 PM #681
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05-29-2012, 12:57 PM #682
- Join Date: May 2011
- Location: Miami, Florida, United States
- Posts: 6,903
- Rep Power: 5024
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05-30-2012, 03:22 AM #683
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05-30-2012, 03:29 AM #684
- Join Date: May 2011
- Location: Perth, W.A, Australia
- Age: 26
- Posts: 5,623
- Rep Power: 20050
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05-30-2012, 09:49 AM #685
Started reading this long time ago and took me forever to finish it, gotta reread or skim through it but I have a specific question.
I noticed in past years some old people have died or moved away from my building and their apartments are being rented to students(girls, usually cute/hot), I see them in passing or when I'm around my motorcycle in front and I was wondering whats the best course of action here? Cold approach when we meet in hallway? Like something along the lines of are you new to the building, welcome, im xx etc? Thought of going to door and welcoming that way but that seems way too forward and not something I'd be comfortable with, any ideas?
I could invite them over but this being this place(what I mean ****ty country where you live with parents until you're like married or in late 20s) it wouldn't be to optimal, especially with family member(s) in next room ~~
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06-04-2012, 02:46 PM #686
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06-04-2012, 02:52 PM #687
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06-04-2012, 03:23 PM #688
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06-04-2012, 03:30 PM #689
I haven't looked through this version of the thread, but not every thing that's written in here is by me; most of it is though. I used this as a journal originally waaaaay back in 2003, when I was in the middle of college, in a fraternity and seeing new experiences and noticing how women reacted to them. Over a short time everything clicked for me and I was able to help my mentality completely change and it showed in my interactions not just with girls, but everyone.
Attraction isn't a choice at all; its a feeling/emotion that is created by the overall presentation of a guy to a girl. So lets say a girl only goes for certain look and she labels that as her "type." Well that's all fine and dandy, but the what's really going on is she is more attracted to that look right off the bat; so that guy doesn't really have to do much to get in with her. Now if she runs into a guy who is still attractive, but doesn't have the look she generally goes for, she can still become attracted to said guy, maybe even more so if he has game and knows how to put her through emotional fluctuation.
That's what the general population misses when they talk about social dynamics. If a girl rejects a guy, that guy will automatically think its because of some physical flaw he has; where as in reality its usually his lack of understanding of how to create attraction that killed it for him.
I could go into great detail about this, but this is a bird's eye view into what really is going on.
SHNASM CPT
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06-04-2012, 03:34 PM #690
Guys stress way too much over the opener to any potential conversation with a girl and then sit there and talk themselves out of it.
I usual what I like to call situational openers; where I just start talking about whatever the hell pop's into my crazy mind and go with it. If you say whatever you say confidently, with good eye contact and are inviting, at the very least the girl will have a conversation with you.
You have to learn how to make girls feel comfortable, attracted and it wouldn't hurt if you can make them laugh very quickly.
Now think, if your fumbling over what to say or how to go about it, your clearly nervous; that's the energy your going to present whether you realize it or not when you approach her.
Don't be afraid to mess up; in fact I'll tell you straight up, in the beginning your going to mess up A LOT! It takes that, in order to learn from them and become better.
SHNASM CPT
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