bulking, adding fat and poor body image

[bluejay83]

I'm struggling to decide what to do.

bulk, cut.. i don't know.

I feel chubby, especially when I sit down, and have squish on my lovehandles... but my BF% is around 13-15% depending on the calculator i use.

I'm still "skinny" compared to most here so NEED to bulk but I CANT bring myself to put more fat on.
I've already gained 2kg's in the last 12 weeks.
I'm worried that if I do a long bulk, say several months, I wont be able to lose the fat again...
I lost my weight originally thanks to a break-up of a 10 year relationship so had plenty of rage to work through.

I want to look good for summer... but I need to bulk, I want to add mass, but I don't want the extra fat that comes with it, because I've already come so far in terms of my weightloss.

Sorry for the rant... looking for some help on how to get through this psychologically.

[jalbert]

I'm struggling to decide what to do.

bulk, cut.. i don't know.

I feel chubby, especially when I sit down, and have squish on my lovehandles... but my BF% is around 13-15% depending on the calculator i use.

I'm still "skinny" compared to most here so NEED to bulk but I CANT bring myself to put more fat on.
I've already gained 2kg's in the last 12 weeks.
I'm worried that if I do a long bulk, say several months, I wont be able to lose the fat again...
I lost my weight originally thanks to a break-up of a 10 year relationship so had plenty of rage to work through.

I want to look good for summer... but I need to bulk, I want to add mass, but I don't want the extra fat that comes with it, because I've already come so far in terms of my weightloss.

Sorry for the rant... looking for some help on how to get through this psychologically.

I hear ya man. I'm currently in the process of going through a long slow bulk too. Seeing an increase of bodyfat definitely is not something that I enjoy. I know that some of the fat gain is excessive, and my own fault for not eating as cleanly as I could. I try to focus on the positives though. Try and motivate myself by seeing the little things each week that I have improved upon, like a slight increase in my lifts, better form, improved definition, etc. All in all, I guess I keep telling myself that it is much easier to lose fat than build mass, and since winter is approaching, I can just cover up, eat big, and bust it in the gym.

[birdman407]

I'm still cutting but i know what your saying when it comes to bulking. To be fair your bf% is quite low so you can probably afford to bulk, just do it slowly, like 1lb a week gain or 500 cal surplus to start with and who says you have to go on a long bulk? If you feel you've put to much fat on, scale it back abit. Just keep an eye on things. But yeah, winters nearly here so maybe bulk til February and then start planning your cut (how long will it take to get ripped for summer etc). Just my take on it.

[Drakken682]

If I read correctly his %bf is from an electronic weight scale or guestimates from an online calculator. If it is the case, his readings might be far off. He shouldn't be having love handles at 13-15% body fat.

In any case, clean bulk (so yes count your calories/protein/carbs/macros) just enough that you are around 500 cal over your maintenance, and add some medium intensity cardio (25-35 min) during off days. Even with that you will put a little fat, it is an inscapable fact of bulking. So suck it up. We all have to suck it up too. Integrating cardio has helped me alot keeping that issue in check.

Oh, and have your %bf checked by a certified nutritionist. Don't guestimate, what you need is to have the real picture.

Since April I've been clean bulking with regular follow-up measurementss with my sport nutritionist. From the 7-points caliper readings (ISAK standards) I have gain 11 pounds of lean mass for 3.5 pounds of fat in five months. Under 4 pounds of fat. Hardly porking up uncontrollably, and it will be most probably burned off in a month when I start cutting next January.

[Misctake7]

I know how you feel OP. I was a big guy all my lift until I dropped a lot of the weight. Looking back at it, cutting the weight was rather easy. Just eat less calories and be in a deficit. Knowing that is what allows me to bulk with ease. Whatever fat is added can be dropped again. Not going to be able to add muscle without bulking, so it seems like that is the best option. Especially if you want to add muscle mass by summer.

Instead of increasing calories by 500 over maintenance like most, try increasing just 250 and go on a slower bulk. Might be able to avoid some of that fat gain but you'll have some fat gain as long as you are eating in a surplus.