A list for you bros out there looking to spice it up. I am in no way accountable if you try any of these and they go wrong!~
* Abe Lincoln
Desired end result.
You must be a male in order to perform the Abe Lincoln. One must be careful when performing the Abe Lincoln, as precision with both cock and hand as well as a good poker face are necessary to successfully pull it off. In order to perform the Abe Lincoln, you first convince your partner to shave your balls, or convince her to let you shave her hairy muff. While shaving, and after completion, you must be careful to conceal the fresh shavings in your hand. Next, you **** her brains out as you please, covertly keeping the fresh pube clippings in your hand and keeping a straight face. When you are approaching orgasm, you must make sure to have the girl on her back. When the baby batter has been sufficiently mixed and is ready to come out, you cum around her jawline and mouth. Before she has a chance to say anything or wipe it off, you throw the fresh shavings onto her unsuspecting visage, creating an Abe Lincoln-esque scruffy beard. If you can jam a concealed top hat onto her head, all the better. This is recommended for first sexual encounters, sexual encounters at her workplace, or sexual encounters in any area where there is no nearby access to water so that the beard cannot be immediately cleaned from her face.
Alternate: Standing and partially squatted in a 69 position, the male wears a top hat eats out the chick (the female's bush is his beard) and proclaims "4 score and 7 years ago!" while taking a **** (freeing the slaves) at the same time.
* Aikido Lean her over a table from a standing position and do her from behind. While doing her, grab her arms, pull them around behind her and hold her wrists together with one hand. If you feel obligated, lift up on them and make her yell.
* Actual Food Sex Make sure your bitch is done with a nice romantic dinner, then when you get her in the mood to ****, act like you're going to stick it in her ****, but actually **** the living daylights out of her bellybutton, making it food sex, sorta! (Warning: You must be Asian to have a small enough dick for this to work.)
* African Safari While doing a chick in the ass, scream "I've got AIDS!". Pull out, jump on her back and slap her ass and hold her by the hair and see how long you can stay on. Also known as the Buckin' Bronco.
* Alabama Hot Pocket Spread her wide and poop inside. Take your woman and or lady friend by the pussy lips, spread 'em wide open, and hover your ****hole above her pisshole. Take a dump. If aimed correctly, your sweet doo doo filling may fill her (hopefully crust/flaky) vagigi, much like how a hot pocket is filled with whatever it is they fill them with.
* Alaskan Heatstroke Invite a girl over on a chilly fall night for a quiet evening of star gazing, secrets, and herbal tea. Sit her down outside and once the tea boils pour it directly down her throat. When the ensuing scream occurs, stuff your dick down her throat for an extra toasty treat on an cold night.
* Alaskan Pipeline After a girl takes a ****, stick said **** in the freezer. After twenty-four hours, she should remove it from the freezer, then use it to masturbate. (If your girl does this while you watch you become obligated to eat that fudgesicle).
* Alexander Graham Bell One chick blows the daylights out of your cock while her friend puts her ear up to your dick. The first chick talks while blowing you. The second listens in. They try and communicate tele****ingly. Three points if you cram your dick inside the girl's ear so she can't hear anything.
* Alligator ****house This one is done best on a bed. Mid coitus, wrap your legs around your partners, making sure to keep your dick rammed within her. Immediately when this is finished, bearhug your partner and proceed to bite down on their neck. HARD. In this position, use all your might to roll off the bed, flinging you and your attached partner to the ground, where you roll around until they wriggle themselves free or pass out from blood loss. Extra points rewarded if done while wearing gator boots.
* Alternate Universe Having an orgasm while getting a blumpkin, eating a really good samidge, shooting heroin, sneezing, watching an awesome movie, receiving a massage, and being told that you just won the lottery.
* Ambushed Paddington, The When you’re ****ing your girl, just as you’re about to pop grab her teddy bear and cum all over its face. Paddington has been ambushed!
* The Amish Plow - Doing a girl on her hands and knees doggy style. All of a sudden, reach around, knock her arms out from under her. Her face will hit the carpet, and then thrust forward and "plow" her across the floor. May result in minor carpet burns.
* Andrew's "Frumpa-Lumpa"- First, grab an Asian slave betwixt the ages of 97 and 97.1, to make sure that she will not escape your Brazen bull. Then, after tying her down with layers of frumpa lumpa leaves, from the country of Ibiza, Africa, order a goat that specializes particularly in the act of cahootinannies (animal orgies). Force the women to perform mild to severely degrading acts of sex on the goat, until the goat reaches ejaculation. At the point of ejaculation, give her a French made, miniature, wood crafted spoon and demand that she scoop up the fluid within an allotted amount of time. Track down every genetic relative, and round them up into a train through persuasion. To her family's surprise, bring them into the room, and force each of her family members, including youngins, to lick her snoo snoo. After she says, "Call me Sally, and pain my eyeballs elephant", tell her that she was a good girl, and that she learned her lesson.
Angry Dragon, The You’re getting head from a girl who doesn't want you to bust in her mouth, so she tells you to let her know before you’re about to bust. As she’s doing her work, just before you bust, hold her head down, bust your nut in her mouth, then hold her mouth shut and punch her in the stomach so it comes out her nose. In Pokemon terms, this can be expressed by the move "DRAGONAIR used DRAGON RAGE".
# Angry Gravedigger You are ****ing a chick in the ass, and right as you are about to cum pull your dick out and hit her in the back of the head with a shovel, dazed she will turn around then cum in her eye, hand her the shovel and push her into a chair. She will now remind you of an angry grave digger, sitting there rubbing her bruised head and squinting.
# Anal This is when you put your one-eyed monster in her butthole. Almost like a vagina, 'cept its ok to blow your load in there without having a ****ing kid! Well, usually anyway. Wikipedia says the cum can sometimes seep through to the vagina. Srsly, how ****ed up is that?
# Angel's Kiss Dip the head of an uncircumcised penis into a dye or paint of your color choice (red and green for the holidays) and apply the the cheek of a relative or friend under the mistletoe. An angel get's is wings after the completion of this event.
# Angry Pirate A girl is sucking you off and you bust in her eye, so it's an eye patch, then you kick her in the shin as hard as you can to break it so she's hopping on one leg and saying "arrrrr". Works better if she has a parrot on her shoulder and a hook for a hand, but hey, it's still ****in' fun!
# April Fools Make sure it is April 1st, then come up to a girl that can't get any or is really desperate and start making moves on her. When you get to the bedroom and she gets naked (leave yours on for easy exit) shout out, "APRIL FOOLS!", and then leave.
# Aqua Sock Put on a couple pairs of socks on any foot you desire. Get your girl all wet and horny. Now proceed to kick her in her vagina as quickly and as hard as possible. Get the sock all wet and ripe. Wipe your ass with it for good measure. Now as your girl lays there in a state of confusion rub her face with the Aqua Sock. Most girls like this on the first date!
# Arabian Death Mask The girl is laying down on her back, you squat over her head, then you put your left and right nut on the girl's right and left eye (respectively) and your ******* on her mouth and FART. It's a killer.
# ATM **** the girl in the ass, then get her to suck you off afterwords, hence ass-to-mouth. Note: although usually one never goes from ass to mouth...in the heat of a moment it has been said to be forgivable to go from ATM.
Thread: Some serious sex moves in here