A list for you bros out there looking to spice it up. I am in no way accountable if you try any of these and they go wrong!~
* Abe Lincoln
Desired end result.
You must be a male in order to perform the Abe Lincoln. One must be careful when performing the Abe Lincoln, as precision with both cock and hand as well as a good poker face are necessary to successfully pull it off. In order to perform the Abe Lincoln, you first convince your partner to shave your balls, or convince her to let you shave her hairy muff. While shaving, and after completion, you must be careful to conceal the fresh shavings in your hand. Next, you **** her brains out as you please, covertly keeping the fresh pube clippings in your hand and keeping a straight face. When you are approaching orgasm, you must make sure to have the girl on her back. When the baby batter has been sufficiently mixed and is ready to come out, you cum around her jawline and mouth. Before she has a chance to say anything or wipe it off, you throw the fresh shavings onto her unsuspecting visage, creating an Abe Lincoln-esque scruffy beard. If you can jam a concealed top hat onto her head, all the better. This is recommended for first sexual encounters, sexual encounters at her workplace, or sexual encounters in any area where there is no nearby access to water so that the beard cannot be immediately cleaned from her face.
Alternate: Standing and partially squatted in a 69 position, the male wears a top hat eats out the chick (the female's bush is his beard) and proclaims "4 score and 7 years ago!" while taking a **** (freeing the slaves) at the same time.
* Aikido Lean her over a table from a standing position and do her from behind. While doing her, grab her arms, pull them around behind her and hold her wrists together with one hand. If you feel obligated, lift up on them and make her yell.
* Actual Food Sex Make sure your bitch is done with a nice romantic dinner, then when you get her in the mood to ****, act like you're going to stick it in her ****, but actually **** the living daylights out of her bellybutton, making it food sex, sorta! (Warning: You must be Asian to have a small enough dick for this to work.)
* African Safari While doing a chick in the ass, scream "I've got AIDS!". Pull out, jump on her back and slap her ass and hold her by the hair and see how long you can stay on. Also known as the Buckin' Bronco.
* Alabama Hot Pocket Spread her wide and poop inside. Take your woman and or lady friend by the pussy lips, spread 'em wide open, and hover your ****hole above her pisshole. Take a dump. If aimed correctly, your sweet doo doo filling may fill her (hopefully crust/flaky) vagigi, much like how a hot pocket is filled with whatever it is they fill them with.
* Alaskan Heatstroke Invite a girl over on a chilly fall night for a quiet evening of star gazing, secrets, and herbal tea. Sit her down outside and once the tea boils pour it directly down her throat. When the ensuing scream occurs, stuff your dick down her throat for an extra toasty treat on an cold night.
* Alaskan Pipeline After a girl takes a ****, stick said **** in the freezer. After twenty-four hours, she should remove it from the freezer, then use it to masturbate. (If your girl does this while you watch you become obligated to eat that fudgesicle).
* Alexander Graham Bell One chick blows the daylights out of your cock while her friend puts her ear up to your dick. The first chick talks while blowing you. The second listens in. They try and communicate tele****ingly. Three points if you cram your dick inside the girl's ear so she can't hear anything.
* Alligator ****house This one is done best on a bed. Mid coitus, wrap your legs around your partners, making sure to keep your dick rammed within her. Immediately when this is finished, bearhug your partner and proceed to bite down on their neck. HARD. In this position, use all your might to roll off the bed, flinging you and your attached partner to the ground, where you roll around until they wriggle themselves free or pass out from blood loss. Extra points rewarded if done while wearing gator boots.
* Alternate Universe Having an orgasm while getting a blumpkin, eating a really good samidge, shooting heroin, sneezing, watching an awesome movie, receiving a massage, and being told that you just won the lottery.
* Ambushed Paddington, The When you’re ****ing your girl, just as you’re about to pop grab her teddy bear and cum all over its face. Paddington has been ambushed!
* The Amish Plow - Doing a girl on her hands and knees doggy style. All of a sudden, reach around, knock her arms out from under her. Her face will hit the carpet, and then thrust forward and "plow" her across the floor. May result in minor carpet burns.
* Andrew's "Frumpa-Lumpa"- First, grab an Asian slave betwixt the ages of 97 and 97.1, to make sure that she will not escape your Brazen bull. Then, after tying her down with layers of frumpa lumpa leaves, from the country of Ibiza, Africa, order a goat that specializes particularly in the act of cahootinannies (animal orgies). Force the women to perform mild to severely degrading acts of sex on the goat, until the goat reaches ejaculation. At the point of ejaculation, give her a French made, miniature, wood crafted spoon and demand that she scoop up the fluid within an allotted amount of time. Track down every genetic relative, and round them up into a train through persuasion. To her family's surprise, bring them into the room, and force each of her family members, including youngins, to lick her snoo snoo. After she says, "Call me Sally, and pain my eyeballs elephant", tell her that she was a good girl, and that she learned her lesson.
Angry Dragon, The You’re getting head from a girl who doesn't want you to bust in her mouth, so she tells you to let her know before you’re about to bust. As she’s doing her work, just before you bust, hold her head down, bust your nut in her mouth, then hold her mouth shut and punch her in the stomach so it comes out her nose. In Pokemon terms, this can be expressed by the move "DRAGONAIR used DRAGON RAGE".
# Angry Gravedigger You are ****ing a chick in the ass, and right as you are about to cum pull your dick out and hit her in the back of the head with a shovel, dazed she will turn around then cum in her eye, hand her the shovel and push her into a chair. She will now remind you of an angry grave digger, sitting there rubbing her bruised head and squinting.
# Anal This is when you put your one-eyed monster in her butthole. Almost like a vagina, 'cept its ok to blow your load in there without having a ****ing kid! Well, usually anyway. Wikipedia says the cum can sometimes seep through to the vagina. Srsly, how ****ed up is that?
# Angel's Kiss Dip the head of an uncircumcised penis into a dye or paint of your color choice (red and green for the holidays) and apply the the cheek of a relative or friend under the mistletoe. An angel get's is wings after the completion of this event.
# Angry Pirate A girl is sucking you off and you bust in her eye, so it's an eye patch, then you kick her in the shin as hard as you can to break it so she's hopping on one leg and saying "arrrrr". Works better if she has a parrot on her shoulder and a hook for a hand, but hey, it's still ****in' fun!
# April Fools Make sure it is April 1st, then come up to a girl that can't get any or is really desperate and start making moves on her. When you get to the bedroom and she gets naked (leave yours on for easy exit) shout out, "APRIL FOOLS!", and then leave.
# Aqua Sock Put on a couple pairs of socks on any foot you desire. Get your girl all wet and horny. Now proceed to kick her in her vagina as quickly and as hard as possible. Get the sock all wet and ripe. Wipe your ass with it for good measure. Now as your girl lays there in a state of confusion rub her face with the Aqua Sock. Most girls like this on the first date!
# Arabian Death Mask The girl is laying down on her back, you squat over her head, then you put your left and right nut on the girl's right and left eye (respectively) and your ******* on her mouth and FART. It's a killer.
# ATM **** the girl in the ass, then get her to suck you off afterwords, hence ass-to-mouth. Note: although usually one never goes from ass to mouth...in the heat of a moment it has been said to be forgivable to go from ATM.
Thread: Some serious sex moves in here
03-15-2010, 11:48 PM #1
**OFFICIAL** Misc sex moves compendium
Last edited by Matheoperez; 03-16-2010 at 12:19 AM.
03-15-2010, 11:48 PM #2
03-15-2010, 11:48 PM #3
* Baby's Breath While having sex with a pregnant woman, the baby gives you head.
* Babe When you're banging your chick from under her wait until she really starts gettin into it and then suddenly stop her lift her off and put her to your side and say "That'll do pig that'll do".
* Back Breaker Double Fishhook You must be bangin' your girl from behind, she must be takin' a wild pussy bangin' hardcore action from you in a sittin' reverse ridin' position on top of you, layin' her arms floatin' around you, with her head on layin' on the left, then you double fishhook her and continue bangin' her pussy from behind, and remember: KEEP THE DOUBLE FISHHOOK ON THE BITCH!! One last thing: You must be doin' it sittin' on somethin' like a sofa or whatever.
* Back Door Pickle Tickler While you have your cock in a chick's pussy missionary style you stick your finger in her ass 'til you can feel your knob, then you start tickling it.
* Backseat Bullride While ****ing a girl doggystyle, reach around with your right hand, grab her left tit and whisper in her ear, "Your sister likes it like this" and try to hold on for 8 seconds.
* Bacon Slip ****ing a girl or guy with any of a number of cased meats. E.g. sausage, bratwurst, hot dog.
* Baked Chicken Lie on your back and pull your knees to your chest. Spread your knees as wide as you can so you look like a baked chicken. Then have your woman lick your *******.
* The Ballpark Similar to titty-****ing, but between the butt-cheeks. So-named because it's not real sex, but it's in the same ballpark. Also because you're frank is between two buns.
* Bananal Puddin You insert the banana into your partners ass and then proceed to **** them and mash it up real nice. Finally add a nice skeet-skeet topping inside and let it mix. Afterwords lay down on your back and receive the puddin in your mouth and enjoy.
* Bangalangher Just bang the hell out of her...
* Barrel Roll While giving your partner anal sex, grip on to her ass cheeks tightly and double tap R or Z to perform a Barrel Roll motion until you jizz. Bonus points awarded if you shout "SLIPPY I'M DOING A BARREL ROLL" while you perform the act.
* Battery Charger Start off goin' down on ya girl and bust out the Shocker. Then replace the two in the pink with a can of whipped cream and fill'er up. Soon as she all filled up, grab an electric tazer and 'shocker' in the *******. Whipped cream EVERYWHERE!
* Beetle Clip Stick your thumb in her pussy and your index finger in her ass and try your damnedest to touch your fingers together!
* Best Anal First, you find an elderly black man, then you **** him with your 2 inch penis that bends sharply upward. As you are doing this, yell out the name of your mother as loudly as possible, then jump off a building into highway traffic.
* Beverly Hills Twister Get a chick that thinks she is God's gift to men. While tagging her from behind, stick both index fingers in her ass digging out as much **** as possible. Then stick your fingers up her nostrils and tell her, "You think you're **** don't stink now, bitch?"
* Big Jake, The The sexual stimulation of a penis using the hands and fingers of a partner and a deceased infant. The recipient puts his penis in a dead infant's mouth. A partner inserts as much of his arm as possible up the infant's rectum, through its gastrointestinal tract and esophagus, and proceeds to manually stimulate the recipient's penis in the infant's mouth. People favor the Big Jake because the dead infant acts as a disposable receptacle for any semen ejaculated. People do not favor the Big Jake because it's just too ****ing hot.
* Bill Cosby, The A masturbation technique involving repeated thrusting of the male member into a warmed cup of JELLO brand gelatin dessert. This is achieved most easily by warming a microwave-safe cup full of JELLO in the microwave until desired temperature is reached. If you burn your dick off, you'd better let us know because that's funny as hell.
* Bingo Bango Get your wench to log into her favorite on-line bingo room. Fasten her "dobber pen" to her forehead with some sturdy tape and every time a number is called thrust into her from behind whilst smashing her head into the table to "Mark Her Card". The aim is to blow your goo into her at exactly the same moment she gets a full house. BINGO!!
* Bismarck Get her to begin giving you a blowjob and just when you are about to blow it, pull out and shoot it right in her eye and then clench your fist to punch her right in the same eye as you yell out "Bismarck!"
* Bite "down" When you are doin' the chick from behind and you can tell she is about to climax, you grab her arms and put them behind her back. Naturally her head is going to go down because she can't hold it up. Her face is in the pillow and she is breathing hard; basically, she is suffocating. When she starts to gasp for air and can't breathe, pull her up and shove it deep. The head rush and the adrenaline will get her off quicker than a *** at a hot dog stand.
* Blind mans bluff Shag her from behind and shoot your loads. Then start again, only this time, jus before you cum, poke her eyes out and shove your cock up her ass. See how long it takes her to realise! =D
* Blood Party This can only be done while your woman is menstruating. While she's all bitchy,grab her by the hair, slam her into a table by the forehead, and do her doggystyle. Then, if you're lucky, She'll bleed all over you. Also, you have to be on meth.
* Blumpkin While dropping a deuce, talk your woman into giving you a hummer. She will really appreciate the smell.
* Bob Marley Begin this by ****ing her doggy style or by getting head. When you're ready to blow your load, let it fly in her hair and then make her twist it together like dread locks - she will look just like Bob Marley.
* Bombs over Baghdad Position the girl so she is doing a handstand in front of you facing you. Pull her legs around you and proceed to rail her, and when you are all ready to shoot your jizz, see if you can drop it into her nose. Since bombs destroy stuff, if you make it kick her in the face and break her nose.
* Boston Pancake After ****ting on her, apply the syrup (ie, your cum)
* Bowling Ball Place two fingers in her pussy and your thumb in her anus, then try to lift her in the air. For experts, throw her against the wall.
* Branding While you're doggy styling, before you blow your load ask her if she wants a cigar. Even if it's a no, you burn a ring on her ass with a lit cigar, permanently making her your property. If possible, get a custom cig lighter with your initials on it.
* Brian Peppers: In a public place unzip your pants and press your dick up to an unsuspecting woman or teenage girl and grope her ass.
* Brown Banana Take a large **** and put it in the freezer for 3 days, then while you're doing her from behind ram the frozen turd in her ass until it’s too mushy to penetrate. Then, feed it to her on a hamburger bun like a sloppy Joe.
* Brownbeard* Much like a Dirty Sanchez, but instead of covering the upper lip of the girl with ****, you cover her entire face, making it look like she has a brown beard.
* Brown Shower Take a **** in someones mouth and make them eat it. Bonus points if they orgasm.
* Brown Tie After poking your love slave in the big brown eye, masturbate with the females tits and the whore should look like she is wearing a brown tie.
* Brown Trout While ****ing a chick in the ass, stick your index finger in her ass real quick and pull it back out, making sure the chick doesn't notice. A few moments later, use that same finger and make a hook shape with it, and put it in the chicks mouth and pull back. And bam! You've hooked a brown trout!
* Bryan Lyssy While ****ing a girl in the ass, pull out quickly, taking the anal lining with you (The Pink Sock). Then, blow into the anal lining, inflating it like a balloon. Now, release it so all the air goes out and makes a farting noise.
* Buckin' Bronco While doing a chick in the ass, scream "I've got AIDS!". Pull out, jump on her back and slap her ass and hold her by the hair and see how long you can stay on. Also known as the African Safari.
* Bulldozer While having doggy style sex, begin ramming her with extraordinary force until she falls to the floor. After which, begin to pound her so hard she begins to scoot forward with every thrust. Begin to make her collide forcibly into all furniture in the room.
* Bull Frog While hitting it from behind, pull out and shove it in her stinkhole, making her jump forward and croak like a bull frog.
* Bullzeye Start by doing your chick in the ass. Do her as hard as you can for about a minute, then quickly put it out of her cornhole. While her ******* is still loose, hock a big loogey in her butthole while yelling "BULLZEYE!!!"
* Buttered Bread This was first recorded a few months ago. You start by ****ing someone in the ass; man, woman, doesn't matter as long as there's a little flab/fat. After you dump your load in their dirt star, proceed to do whatever you have to do to get them to fart while holding their ass cheeks together. Proceed to peel apart and it'll resemble buttered bread. If one is ****ing a particularly hairy *******, they may also opt to make buttered toast by lighting the *******'s foliage on fire before evoking the gas creating a particularly noxious smell almost like burning toast. Aka the Grilled Cheese. Bonus points if you get someone else to eat it.
* Burning Amazon Be sure to **** someone who neglects to shave her cooch and keep a lighter at hand during the course of sex. In the seconds preceding climax, set your partner's pubic hair on fire. Pull out exactly at the moment of ejaculation and, if necessary, aim in the direction of the illuminated area. After the blaze has been doused and the pubic region as per your liking, inform your partner that you'll have to go through the same routine again if you ever catch her unshaven. Add romance to the event by demanding a pie from your partner after remonstrating her.
* Burnt Rubber Put on a rubber glove, make sure it is a yellow one and jerk off with it. Yes it will burn, so bring a fire extinguisher.
* Burt, The Named after the Sesame street character. After you have sloppy anal sex you take your ****ty dick and slap it between their eyes giving them a fecal unibrow.
03-15-2010, 11:49 PM #4
* Camping charades When you're out camping with a bunch of friends, and one of them accidentally passes out outside of their tent, you all gather round and toss off over the drunken ****.
* Classic Carl This one is simple and disgusting as hell. Get your woman to lay below you and drop a deuce in her mouth.
* Carl H Koenig The name for raping a blonde German girl and acting proud of in before getting pwned in the ass in prison.
* Carl 2 Go Drop it between her tits, and then wrap Saran around her sealing it there. If you like, saran her arms to her body while you're at it.
* Camel Hump While banging a fine piece of ass from behind, shove a popsicle or similar frozen treat up her ass. Have the bitch clench her rusty sheriff’s badge (a.k.a. ass) to hold the icy treat. After a session of sexual intercourse, drink the melted frozen treat out of her ass with a crazy straw.
* Campbell, the Finger your dog in the ass using the excuse that you were 'prodding' it in the nose and that it turned round...you'll get off on this for sure, Campbell did.
* Canada's History A seldom accomplished, extremely depraved sex act too vile to describe. Involves moose antlers, a bottle of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup. First, take the Stanley Cup and fill it to the brim with maple syrup, then cut the antlers off of a moose (preferably live) and dip the ends into the maple syrup, then, while two women perform a sixty-nine on each other, you insert the moose antlers into their rectums and stand over them, masturbating and singing "God Save the Queen," being sure to end every phrase with "Eh?"
* Canadian Jackhammer Do a stand-up 69 with a girl, then in the middle of it, drop her.
* Candlejack As you're about to come, yell out Candlejack and then afte
* Candy Cane When you jizz in a girls face, punch her in the nose making it red and white, hence the candy cane.
* Cat Simply have sex with a cat, preferably a tam-cat. This will give you a wild ride and surely be the best pussy you'll ever get.
* Cat Back While hitting it from behind, without permission pull out and cram your entire dick in her unsuspecting ass! Nine out of ten arch their back in the air like a frightened cat!
* Center of Gravity Take your lady friend to the county fair and get in the Round Up ride. Once you're both pinned to the wall, unbuckle the harness and roll on top of her, ****'er and get buckled back in before the ride is over. 10Xpts for facials and just remember to aim for where she's going to be, not where she is: F = mrω²
* The Charizard While doing a hairy girl, light her pubes on fire. Then, put some of the fire out with your cum. Then wave your arms wildly yelling "You can't train me! You don't have enough badges!"
* Chased by the Pirate When a girl is giving head and your about to pop the load, pull your dick out of her mouth, come into her left eye and kick her to the right shin-bone. She'll put left hand on her eye and the right hand on her shin-bone, making her hop after you and that makes you chased by a pirate. Don't let her catch you!
* Chainsaw massacre First you pound the bitch's biff and plant your seeds, then take out a chainsaw and slash the whore to pieces!
* Chattanooga Chalupa First, take a **** in a girl's vagina. Then **** her in the vagina, ejaculating all over your **** that is still in her vagina. This causes her vagina to look like a Taco Bell chalupa. This move is especially popular in the mountains of Southeast Tennessee.
* Cherry Cheesecake This is a finishing move. Stroke it right off onto her face, then break her nose.
* Cherry Cordial Same as the Sludge Box, but this term is only to be used if the girl is a virgin. (Hence, a chocolate-covered cherry!)
* Cherry Danish Blow your load in your chick's face then punch her in the nose. It will make it look just like a cherry Danish.
* Cherry Popsicle When you pull her bloody tampon out and stick it in her mouth, like a cherry popsicle.
* Chicken Tuck your hands under your armpits while ****ing a chick from behind, then stand up on your knees, flap your arms like a chicken and crow like a rooster.
* Chief Joseph When a girl is on her rag, you must pull her tampon out by the string with your teeth, then viciously shake your head back and forth. The blood from the tampon will splatter on your cheeks, giving you war paint.
* The Kabob Basically, you ram your fist up a girl's ass then try to carry her.
* Chili Dog To pull this one off you need to get the sudden urge to take a **** in between her tits and then proceed to titty-**** her.
* Chocolate Bikini While completing the Sludge Box, wipe your ass back and forth, so that you smear your feces all across her entire pubic area. It will look just like a chocolate bikini!
* Chudder Getting a chick to nibble on your nuts.
* The Cincinnati Bowtie Use your lady's heaving bosom as a soft landing zone for your tiny penis, but do it backwards -- so your balls are right on her neck. The resulting genital configuration resembles a bowtie.
* The Cinnamon Roll Take a **** on the living room floor, then rub one out and spooge on it. When the victim comes in and examines it, knock them over and rape them while the cinnamon roll is the only thing they can see.
* Cleveland Steamer One of the most well-known moves on this list. In this move you sit on her chest so she can barely breathe and then take a **** and slide down toward the vagina whilst making the noise of a Cleveland steam boat.
Alternate: **** outside near the disgusting Cuyahoga River during an Ohio snowstorm. Take an award-winning corn-fed beef-**** on your gal's chest and watch it steam. Best done by the Great Lakes Science Center or the giant "Free" stamp so you feel like you've done your civic duty.
* Clown's mouth Eat a chick out whilst she is on her period.
* Cockroach While you are doing a girl doggy, take it out and then spray RAID in her ass
Alternate: While you are doing a girl doggy, take it out and spit on her back, then when she turns around, spray RAID on her face.
* Cock a Doodle Doo In order to do this one you need to work at McDonald's. While you're preparing food Get a chicken to peck your balls while you jerk off into a Mc Chicken.
* Cocktopuss Just like it sounds. Eight cocks, one chick, a million faps. The actual existence of the cocktopuss has never been determined, despite much, much research into the matter. Note: this is not a one chick, eight guys thing. This is 8 cocks simultaneously in one girl. Hands do not count.
* Cock slap Simply slapping your cock aggressively against the partner's forehead. For added lulz ejaculate onto her forehead beforehand and create a sort of forehead creampie.
* Cocoa Puffs Breakfast This move is the ultimate in slit-****ting! First, you take a crap inside some girl's pussy. Then, you **** her brains out (Rusty Nail) until you blow your load inside her filthy hole. Finally, you stick a spoon inside her, pull out the chunks of your **** mixed with your milky cum, and feed it to her. She'll go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!!
* Code of Silence You **** a girl that's so dirty or ugly that you rip off the used condom and gag her with it, and tell her that you'll kill her if she tells a soul what just happened between the two of you.
* Cold Lunch While she's giving you oral, ask her if you can cum in her mouth and for her to "eat it". If she says no, politely say "then how about this?" and proceed to stick your finger down your throat and vomit all over the top of the bitches head. She should learn her lesson for next time not to refuse your cum snack.
* Congo Line This is when numerous black men pull a train on some unlucky whore. The men wear war paint.
* Consensual sex in the missionary position This is perhaps the most disgusting move of all. What you do is lay your woman so she is on her back. Then, ask permission to have vaginal intercourse. Once she agrees, place yourself on top of her and penetrate her vagina with your penis.
* Corn on the Cob After banging a broad in the ass, pull out to blow your load down her throat, which is pretty classy in and of itself, but it gets better. While making the transition from bung to pie hole, you notice a corn kernel on the head of your cock. Hence, we now have the "corn on the cob". Remember kids, corn is always better the second time around.
* Cosby Sweater The sexual act of eating Fruit Loops, Fruity Pebbles, Trix, and Boo Berry- or any other 'bright, colorful' breakfast cereals- and then vomitting the tacky, dazzling mixture onto your partners chest. The result should look similar to the incredible sweaters that Bill Cosby wore during his highly successful 1980's sitcom "The Cosby Show".
* Cotton Candy This requires you to star hard once you've jizzed. You **** a girl up the ass so that you get **** all over your dick and then you proceed to cum on the edge of her *******. You swirl your cock in it like a stick in a cotton candy machine until you get jizz and **** all over you cock and then you **** her face with it.
* Cottonmouth This one takes a bit of a sacrifice. If your girl is giving you a blowjob, hold out for as long as you can. Make sure she's in the mood for sex during this time, because that's kind of the whole point of the move. After she's thoroughly exhausted and likely horny from giving you a long-ass BJ, just send her home and tell her you have to work or go to class or something.
* Coyote **** a Mexican immigrant woman doggy-style. EVEN MOAR POINTS IF YOU **** HER ON THE BORDERLINE!!!
* Coyte This is when you **** the **** out of a drunk bitch/ho (fo' sho), and proceed to whip off the used condom, put it in her handbag and say "YOU JUST GOT COYTED BIATCH! GET THE **** OUT!!".(This must be done in your house)
* Crazy Carl Make sure when you do the whore doggy-style with her head facing the wall. You gotta ****ing hump her brains out as hard as you can until her brains literally get smashed and smeared into the wall. When she's not moving (pretty much dead), you may take advantage of her as you'd like; blow your baby juice inside, I don't care. Take all of her prostitute money, and move on to the next bitch. Repeat the steps. You'll be a rich pimp just like that.
* The Cream Filled Truffle During anal, ejaculate hard into your partner's butt (male or female), then pull out and shove a straw up their ass and suck all the semen out of their ass. More experienced users of this move can use it in vaginal intercourse as an alternative to condoms. But you must be skilled enough to make sure you can suck all of the semen out, so you don't get her pregnant.
* Creampie This happens in some of the porn movies you'd find on the internets. This is when you just release the jizz in her slimy **** for pleasure or for lulz. NO CONDOMS, NO CONTRACEPTIVES WHATSOEVER. And then, the baby juice will magically pour out due to gravity, just in time to avoid a silly sperm raping that egg. If it fails, you're ****ed.
* Cross-Fingered Crippler Similar to the Shocker, but you cross your index and middle fingers and give it to her!
* ****hammer Though I would imagine this to be self-explanatory, I will however go into details. After a good ****ing, you blow inside of her and as a form of contraception you whip out a cleverly stashed hammer and break her pelvis. After the clean up at the hospital, I'm sure she won't be having kids...
* Chief Marley (the combo) Do an oral Bob Marley and make a mohawk and combine it with an inverse Chief Joseph (she gets the 'war paint'), you whip out the tampon and wipe two marks under her eyes
03-15-2010, 11:50 PM #5
wow and that is just A...
fckn lol'd hard
Last edited by Nefariousx1; 03-15-2010 at 11:52 PM.I'm honestly crazed and unhinged. I've never had so much fun with life......Just let go.
(IF you tell me or ask me to rep back [which is ghey to begin with] I will flip a coin. Heads you win. Tails you lose)
Misc Strength Crew
03-15-2010, 11:50 PM #6
# Dainal Sex A bizarre sex move accidentally invented by a man named Dain in the backwoods of Oregon. We'll change the names of the other boys involved, as to protect their identities. We would do this for Dain too, but he's a douchebag, so **** him. In the ass. Dain, "Jon," and "Cody" had come home from a late night out at a party, drunk as hell. Let's just say these three got a little frisky and decided to experiment with each other, anally. So, Dain and Jon begin to fondle one another as Cody watches with anticipation. This got a bit TOO disturbing to actually type, even by ED's standards so let's just cut down to Dain's part of the story. The other two made him the feltcher, who sucks the cum out of the other two's asses after sex. As Dain was about to insert the straw within Cody's ass, Cody couldn't hold his gas in, resulting in a anal-sperm shower for Dain's face. Use EXTREME caution when attempting this maneuver.
# D-Rock For this one you need to not **** or jerk off for two months. This move takes a lot of patience because of the time frame involved. After two months pass get some chick to blow you. When you blow your load in her mouth it will be so big that she will jump backwards and knock her head on something hard, causing her to get knocked the **** out!
# Dairyqueen, the Stand the bitch on her head, and you pour ice cream down her pussy, then eat it out while 69ing.
# Danger Wank - Stand at the top of the stairs, naked, shout your mum and toss yourself off, cum before she gets to the bottom.
# David Copperfield This must be done while nailing a woman from behind, in front of an open window. Have a friend hide in the closet, have him silently exit the closet as you pull out of her, and get him start to nailing her. Quickly leave the building and stand in front of the window waving to her. Be sure she sees you standing there.
# Dentist, The When performing this act, The Dentist shoves his phallus into the mouth of a supposed patient, not exceeding the age of six years old, and is therefore still in possession of his/her deciduous teeth; the teeth will shatter or in other ways be removed due to utter force of which the Dentist operates his phallus.
# Dick Pocket It’s when you are screwing a girl from behind and when she’s not looking you reach into her purse and take her wallet and leave after a good **** with a hefty some of money and some credit cards.
# Dinosaur, The The Dinosaur is when you **** a girl on the ground in the woods behind her house and after you finish, you drop a small boulder on her head and tell her parents that she became extinct due to a meteor.
# Dirt Bike Strictly for pros. This is when you have the girl on all fours, and you grab her wrists and pull her arms out while she is spraying diarrhea out (thus giving the image of you riding a dirt bike).
# Dirtbox Derby Can't be explained in words. You may need to learn the rudiments of engineering before attempting this.
# Dirty Butkus After tagging her in the ass for a while, wipe the head of your dick under each eye like you're trying to keep the reflection out of her eyes with blacker.
# Dirty Confucius Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, except you go for the full Fu Manchu.
# Dirty Dolphin While you're ****ing the girl doggy-style, pull it out and ram your dick in her *******... you will then hear the 'AAAAAAAAHAHAAAHAAAAA' noise that resembles a dolphin.
# Dirty Elvis Do your chick in the pooper then pull it out and use her own **** to make sideburns on her face.
# Dirty Mengele Invented by Weev, the Dirty Mengele consists on fisting a girl while she's on her period and smearing the blood all over her face while screaming: "LICK THAT FILTH CLEAN, YOU WORTHLESS WHORE!". Note that while Weev invented this move, it cannot be considered a signature move of his, since it's not part of his regular repertoire.
# Dirty Pirate Come in her eye and kick her in the shin, so that she simultaneously covers one eye like a patch while hopping up and down on one leg yelling "aaargh".
# Dirty Popsicle This one involves a girl taking a firm **** and leaving it in the freezer overnight. When it gets hard and frozen, she uses it as a dildo.
# Dirty Sanchez Start doing your woman in the stink. At any given moment pull out and wipe a mustache on her with her own ****.
# Dirty Spoon When you're doin’ a girl in the ass while in the spoon position.
# Dirty Smulligan When you're doing a girl in the ass and she ****s on your dick, while you're doing her.
# Dirty Trombone This move requires getting two chicks in bed with you at the same time. While you **** a girl in the ass doggy style another girl licks your dick as it goes in and out like a trombone.
# Divot Pull down the pants of some girl with a huge fur pile, grab on to as much of it as you can, scream "Fore!" and rip every last hair out. A real golfers' favorite!
# Dizzy Gillespie This is a great variation of the rusty trombone. While you are receiving the rusty trombone, you grab her head hold it tight on your ass and let out a great fart, thus blowing up her cheeks like Dizzy himself.
# Docking Station When one male puts his penis head onto another man's and fold's his foreskin over the other man's head.
# Dog in a Bathtub Attempting to insert your nuts into a girl’s ass. Named so because it’s as hard as keeping a dog in a bathtub while giving it a bath.
# Donkey Punch 1 Okay, when you're nailing a chick in the ass you yell out "Hee-Haw" like a donkey, and when she turns around you punch her in the face so she's knocked out. Her ass will get all tight and you can **** around with her 'till she wakes up.
# Donkey Punch 2 Start out doin’ her from behind. Pull out and pretend you are going to cum on her back, then punch her in the back or head.
* Donkey Punch 3 As you're hittin' it from the back just after you cum, punch the bitch in the kidney's so she ****s herself or at the least squirts out your man juice in a fresh new "mocha" look.
* Donkey Kong Punch Proceed as per the standard Donkey Punch, however, instead of punching the partner in the head or neck, strike them over the head with a barrel, lamp or other easily shattered object. Just make damn sure your date isn't an Italian-American plumber, if she is get any large mallets the **** out of the house before performing this move.
* Don’t Get Caught, Freak! Do her in a shed and then leave her there for the cops to find. Hell, call them yourself and tell them where she is.
* Double Doody In this delightful maneuver, you must first be ****ing the bitch doggy style. Then stick it in her pooper until it is sufficiently loose. Slide into one, out, into the other, out, back and forth until you blow your load in one of the holes. Also called creampie roulette.
* Double Fishhook Start by banging your girl doggy style, then reach up and hook her in the mouth from both sides with your pinkie finger so you can really pound the **** out of her. For added perversion (and savings), have a dentist come over to inspect her gaping pie-hole for cavities and whatnot.
* Double Refit Mixed Ganja Blaster Similar to no move ever. This is when the female removes her rectum, and you have to stuff much marijuana inside it, stuff the rectum back inside. Smuggle the marijuana to iraq, sell it to American soldiers, buy a cheap hotel room, then you must preform the 4-Chan with what ever money you have left.
* Double-Headed Dolphin Similar to the shocker. Cross your index and middle, your ring and pinkie and go to town. She'll make that eek eek noise like a dolphin.
* Dragon Punch Same as Donkey Punch 3, however you must lay into the bitch with both fists, one to each side.
* Drunk Schoolgirl Make sure your girl has pigtails and get her really drunk. When she starts puking in the toilet, pull down her pants, grab her pigtails and start railing her in the ass.
* Dutch Muffin Before you nail the chick, put half a cup of margarine in her vagine (or ass). Don't let it melt until you start ****ing.
* Dutch Oven Whenever you fart while humping, pull the covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases.
* Duronomo When you pound the **** out of your ho, then as you finish, in one swift motion, you buck her off the bed as you shoot your load at her. Then tell her to get the fudge out!
03-15-2010, 11:50 PM #7
03-15-2010, 11:51 PM #8
* The Earl Grey Much like teabagging, but more awesome. You have the girl suck your nuts for about 5 minutes (this is to let the flavour infuse into her saliva), then, without warning; cram your cock into her mouth and let rip a flood of piss. This is euphemistic of adding the Bergamot oil to the teapot. Hold her mouth and nose closed until she has sampled this tasty treat, and then punch her in the face.
* ED combo Read this entire page pissing yourself laughing, take off your pants and slap Jameth on the face with them for great justice. Then, while singing Dragostea Din Tei and jerking off to a photoshop of Cockmongler take embarrassing photos of strange acts of homoerotic sex. These photos must have a bad case of Internet disease or else you are gay. Post this image 50 times on LiveJournal; when someone sees what you are doing and writes an article about it, start a Wikiedit drama. But it doesn't matter because Snape killed Dumbledore. O RLY?. YA RLY. NO WAI. SRSLY! Oh noes!!!!!!!!11111cos(0)int(10)sin(90)1111eineineun o!!!!!
* Egg Drop Soup Make her open her mouth wide open. then urinate inside her mouth, and when done, take a big ol' round **** in her mouth. Proceed to ejaculate in her eyes, for garnish.
* Egg-Mayo Shove an egg in her ass, ejaculate then mush it up with your penis by pounding her chocolate filled-ass. Prepare some bread.
* Egyptian Gas Mask Similar to the Arabian sunglasses but involving 3 people (Two blokes). The men simply take their balls and one puts his nuts on one of the girl's eyes, the other guy puts his nuts on the other of the girl's eye. Then, the two men take turns farting into the girl's nose.
* Eiffel Tower The ultimate double team. The chick gets down on all fours, then each guy takes an end on her, one in front and one in back. Then the two guys lift both their arms in the air and do a huge "high-five", and you've got the Eiffel Tower! ****in’ sweet or what?
* Electric Tingle Tape a knife vertically to the middle of your boner, so it's sticking out a little farther than its counterpart. Then try pounding an electric socket. When you wake up (Lol IF you wake up!|)you should be covered in sizzling jizz and your penis should be tingling with pleasure.
* Electrobulb Knob Slobber Insert a light bulb into your anus, then proceed to do a head stand. Have your woman blow on your wiener. If she can blow hard enough, the bulb should shine bright. Lamp shade optional.
* Elevator This works with a younger girl (say 6 or 7 years old) or a midget; you basically 69 with her while standing up (so it looks like you are going to tombstone piledrive her). Since she is little, her body won’t be long enough to blow you and get eaten out at the same time, so you will have to raise and lower her up and down at your discretion to do what ever you want with her.
* Emeril Start ****ing a girl doggy style. When you're about to cum, pull out, and cum into your hand. Wait until she turns around, then throw the cum in her face while yelling "Bam!"
* Eppigy Evac Right as she's about to orgasm jump off of her with no warning and grab you're **** and run. Never call her again and start rumors that she gave you the clap.
* Equestrian While banging a girl from behind, just as you are about to blow your load, grab her hair and leap forward with all the leg strength you have. The goal is to leap forward and completely over the headboard, like a leaping horse. Not recommended if your bed is up against a wall.
* Executive Decision While banging a girl from behind, make sure you have her face pressed up against the wall. You wind up for a Donkey Punch, but then you make the Executive Decision to lift you leg up around the side of her body and kick her in the back of the head, sending her face through the wall.
* Euro-Tunnel You open up a bitch's ass, so it somewhat resembles a goatse, you then proceed to **** into it.
* Fake Tell the girl you are wearing a condom but you really aren't.
* Fake sex whilst choking the chicken, stick a finger up your ass, then yell out in shame "IT's FAKE! IT's FAKE"
* Falcon Punch While ramming a pregnant chick and about to cum, pull out and punch her as hard as you can in the gut while yelling out "FAAAAAALLLLLLLCCCOOOOOONNNNN PPPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
* Fancy Feast Tie her down and put 6 cinder blocks on her stomach and chest so she can’t breathe. Then work up a nice gassy fart (make sure you eat White Castle with extra grilled onions beforehand); right when you’re about to fart, hover over her face and quickly remove all the cinder blocks, then as she takes that first gasp of air, let one rip right over her nose. She'll gag and throw up, she loves it!
* Fart Hammer This is right after you are done ****ing your chick - you stand up by her face bend your ass down and fart on her face.
* Fighting Irish While you're ****ing your chick, and you're about to cum everywhere, start beating the hell out of her, like, no mercy, like a drunken Irishman, see my connection, after that, tell her you're sorry and **** her some more, and do the Falcon Punch.
* Field Goal You have a girl stand next to a sturdy pole, grab it and then you take her ankles and slowly lift her into the air. Now she's parallel to the ground. Spread her legs and begin the ****ing. Pink or Stink. Doesn't matter. Right when you go you take one leg and blast her right in the chin and let her go.
* Firefighter When you're about to bust a nut, you light the girl's pubes on fire and put it out with your jizz. I got a variation of the rodeo too. You throw all your friends in the closet and start doing the chick, then all of a sudden, you put it in her ass. Your friends jump out of the closet and bang on pots and pans and count and see how long you can ride her.
* The Fisherman Teabag a girl while she nibbles on your balls.
* The Fisherman's Nightmare When attempting The Fisherman the girl bites your balls off and you become an hero
* Fish Eye 1.0 While working her from behind, shove your finger in her pooper, whereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.
* Fish Eye 2.0 You hit a chick from behind, and save up a nice juicy nut. Then, right before you bust you pull out, turn that bitches head around, use your thumb and finger to hold one of her eyes open, and drop the entire load on her eye. Then her eye looks exactly like a fishes, especially after that bitch starts crying.
* Fish Hook While doing a bitch from behind, stick your finger in her ******* and hook it like a fish hook; hold on too, because it makes her tight and gives you a wild ride.
* Fist of the South-Star After doggy style, pull out and punch her in the ******* as hard as you can. You won't necessarily get a fist in, but it'll still be funny as hell. A.K.A. the Fist of the Brown Star, Fist of the Stink Star.
* Fisting Insertion of a fist or fists into a vagina or a butthole.
* Fizzy Lifting DrinkWhen you are having sex with a girl with you on your back and she is upright on your cock. You place your hands on her hips and the second you cum, you lift her off your dick and throw her into the air. (Note: if you have a ceiling fan, it must be turned on).
* Flaming Amazon Have sex with a girl, pull out, light her bush on fire with a lighter, and cum on her to put it out. 
* Flaming Canoli Have sex with a girl, pull out, and cum on her. Then you take a **** on her. Then you wrap her up in a blanket and set her on fire.
* Flaming Johnson While ****ing a girl doggy style, you must have a Copenhagen in. You spit on her back and pull out, rub your cock in it, and then stick it back in.
* Flash Bang Take a light bulb and slowly ease it up a precious vagina while kissing her belly, then out of the blue punch her lower abdomen! You'll laugh your ass off for days to follow! Trust me, the bitch will NEVER forget you!
* Flat Tire While riding a girl hard from behind, reach forward and pull out her right arm so her face hits the bed just as you blow your load.
* Flimsy Princess Whilst getting a blowjob knee the bitch in the throat so she passes out, continue to **** her throat, bust in her mouth and leave her lifeless body for the cops to find.
* Flush **** Take the girl of your choice to any bathroom with a toilet. Getting her to hold onto the toilet bowl, start working her hard from behind. Just as you are about to get off, ram it in deep and hard, shove her head into the toilet, and flush... man, what ACTION! For a twist, do it on a toilet full of ****. But hang on tight, it's going to be a rough ride.
* Flying Camel As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then begin to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move!
* Flying Dutchman While ****ing any woman in front, you blow your load in her, then immediately pull out and elbow drop her stomach launching your hot man chowder back out.
* Flying Lotus Blossom Rail a chick in missionary manner on the side of a bed, then grab her wrists and pull her off. Hold her up and continue to bang the **** out of her; it gives her the experience of zero gravity ****ing. Note: for added excitement, let her hands go and let her just dangle there as you continue to pound that ass. Advisory: make sure you can pick her up and are in good shape because for you it is a work out - trust me.
03-15-2010, 11:52 PM #9
03-15-2010, 11:52 PM #10
* Footjob Like a handjob, but with feet.
* Forrest Gump After blooping all over a bitch's face, keep repeating the phrase "Stupid is as stupid does" with disdain.
* Fortune Cookie Get an Asian chick and bang her with a condom on; when finished, pull out but leave condom in.
* Fountain of Youth While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed.)
* Fountain of Youth V.2 While having sex in the shower with an 8 year old, slick her hair back so she instead looks like a five year old boy. Once finished, destroy her.
* Four-Legged Surprise While in the middle of ****ing her doggy-style, announce you have to take a piss but to "hold that position." Then bring in your German Shepard and let him straddle her with his red rocket. After she notices the furry paws on her shoulders and starts screaming, yell "Surprise!" * Froggy Style A variation on doggy style. Two extremely fat people do it doggy style, with the man on top. While they're doing it, both gurgle in pleasure, and it sounds like two frogs doing it. For extra lulz, both can be painted green beforehand.
* Frothy Walrus This is done when a girl is giving you a BJ. When she swallows what you give her, punch her in the stomach and it comes out her nose! Yeeeaaah!
* **** Her Brains Out This may sound routine, but while your bitch is giving you oral, you pull your cock out and stab it right into her eye. Her brains will provide excellent lube.
* Fudgecicle Stick your phallic piece in a pile of **** and then put it in your lady's mouth. It'll turn her frown upside down!!
* Gag Attack **** your bitch in the ass, and when you are getting ready to blow your wad, stick it in her mouth and she will have a coco/cream surprise!
* Gaylord Perry Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle-ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits on that virgin cornhole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).
* German Snowplow Alright, you **** that bitch in the ass, then simply, she ****s on your dick, you throw up, hell everyone in the room throws up.
* Gentleman Make love to a girl without any type of violence, then go get her a glass of water and fix her breakfast in the morning. (You're going to get laid again.) HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS.When your chick is blowing you,scream "GENTLEMAN",this is when all your buddies will rush in and cram their dicks into your girlfriends mouth.
* Getting Brain The common misconception is that "Brain" is a slang term for a blowjob when in actuality this move involves taking a 2 inch drill bit and drilling a hole in your girl's skull and proceeding to "**** her brains out."
* Gina Kick First, **** the girl from behind until you are about to nut, pull out and nut somewhere, and rear back and kick her square in the twat, football style.
* Glass Bottom Boat Start by putting Saran Wrap over her face and then drop a deuce directly on the Saran Wrap. Also may be performed by having her lay underneath a glass topped table facing up, watching you drain the dragon (or bake the brownies, both if preferred).
* Glider Wrap some strong bungee around a pole and have the girl hold on to the end with both hands. Slowly pull her back and let the bungee build up a lot of power. When it's nice and tight, you start doing her in the ass nice and quick. Blast your load in her ass and then let go of her so that she flies through the air with cum oozing out of her ass. Hopefully if it's a good bungee, she'll hit the pole and break her collarbone.
* The Go-Kart Do your partner doggystyle real close and grab onto her ear, making 150cc engine noises the entire time. Be sure to powerslide and throw banana peels behind you.
* Goatse Hard to explain, however see method and results here
* Golden Shower Any form of peeing on a girl (A.K.A. watersports). Like in the example mentioned in piss, pissing can be erotic. The correct terminology for sex play involving piss is called watersports. Any place is good except the facial region unless you're a gay perv. In New Zealand, publishing anything text in support of or content in display of golden showers gets you 10 years in prison.
* Golden Star Fish This move requires the lights to be off. Tell your chick you want to go backdoor. Secretly replace the lube with self-tanning cream. Lube yourself up and go to town. Let her explain the orange ring around her ass to anyone who has her next. This trick was discovered accidentally but is painless to all.
* Gorilla Mask While doing a girl from behind, donkey punch her until she stops moving. Then proceed to ejaculate on her face until it is evenly covered in a thick layer of bukkake. Then, get as much pubic hair as you can muster, and sprinkle it on her face.
* Gorillas in the Mist This is when a cracker chick goes into a steam room and is approached by 3 black men waiting to tag white snatch. They work her over good. When finished they return back into the mist waiting for their next prey. The cracker then leaves thinking she just visited the African Rainforest.
* Gravy Train Slight variation of the Sludge Box....Instead of dumping some normal **** into her pussy, try flooding it with your diarrhea!
* Greeking This is when you are ****ing a girl any way possible (preferably oral) and right before you cum take your dick and cum all over her eyes so they seal shut and she can't see.
* Greg Louganis Position yourself on the bed way up close to the headboard, then get your chick to climb on top of you backwards. Slap your junk up in her ass and go to town. Once you are about to unleash the dogs of war up in her, quickly and at once pull out and move down the bed towards the foot, grab her at the waist and yank her down causing the back of her head to slam against the head board, then quickly flip around and give her the splash in the face... for the ultimate effect dress her up like a man! You get 50 points if you also give her AIDS.
* Grumblefoot Grabapple This is when a girl sticks both her big toes up a mans rectum while simultaneously strangling him while he masturbates
* The Guillotine While doing a standing 69, with the girl being suspended and upside-down, perform a tombstone piledriver on her while your dick is in her mouth. If performed correctly, when her head hits the ground, her jaw will slam shut and your dick will be bitten off. Bonus points if you wear big white wigs
03-15-2010, 11:52 PM #11
- Join Date: Aug 2009
- Location: Alaska, United States
- Age: 24
- Posts: 2,628
- Rep Power: 3556
03-15-2010, 11:53 PM #12
03-15-2010, 11:53 PM #13
* Hair Ball You're chomping away at some trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
* Handbagger Helper During lovemaking, a guy tells his female partner that he is unable to finish and makes up an excuse if needed. Then, while his partner is getting cleaned up, or just not paying attention, he blows his load in her purse for her to find at a later time.
* Hat Trick This one is simple. **** your woman any way you please, then give her a healthy facial and as quickly as possible follow up by urinating on her face, finishing your hat trick with a big ol' **** in between the tits. Bonus points for green **** or clear piss.
* Classic Houdini (aka Slick Houdini) Get your woman in the doggy style position. Act like you're about to blow your load. Spit on her back so she thinks you did. When she turns around shoot her in the face with it. (A.K.A. the White Ghost).
* The Double Houdini While tag-teaming a girl with your buddy, have one guy does her in the ass and the other guy getting a hummer. Then have the guy in the back tell her he is going to blow and then spit on her back. When she turns around, give her the facial of her life. Then when she turns around to face the front again, the guy in the front blows it in her face for the second facial.
* Harvey Wall Banger Shove your dick up the girls ass then bang her on the wall.
* Headbanger’s Ball While you are making out with a chick and she closes her eyes, start kissing her neck to get her good and ready. Then rare back and head-butt her. (She won’t even see it coming.)
* Hershey Kiss Bang a chick in the ass with a condom on, when done, pull out, leave condom in.
* Hill-Billy Slam While you are doing a girl from behind, right as you are about to bust, you pull out a banjo and slam it over her head.
* Hillary Duff While banging a younger girl (any position, preferably one where she can't see your face) start humming a Hillary Duff tune, if you happen to know any (any young pop-tart will do). Hum louder and louder until she either joins you, starts singing or asks you what the hell you are doing. If she doesn’t do any of these things eventually start singing the words and try to stay humping to the rhythm. If she does ask you what the hell you could always bail on the thing, but what I like to do is claim that it keeps me from ejaculating. I don’t really know the point of this but it's funny to me, and if you can get a 16 year old girl singing along to Hillary Duff in the sack and still satisfy her and do your thing, I'll buy you a ****ing beer.
* Hitmonlee vs Hitmonchan, The Pay a 16 year-old girl to kick you in the balls. As soon as you drop in pain, your cock gets hard. The girl will come near you and make sure you're okay. At that moment SKY UPPERCUT her in the jaw to knock her out cold. Enjoy the next 2 hours raping her you sick ****. Moar points if she's a Hillary Duff fan!!!
* Hockey **** Pull her shirt over her head punch her hard and **** the **** out of her.
* Hole in One Begin by ****ing your chick missionary style then, as you bust, pull out and shoot it over her stomach, chest, throat, and into her eye.
* Holocauster, The At any point during teh sex, you release your gasses and GTFO of the room and lock the door.
* Honey Smacks Dip your dick into a jar of honey. While hard, give the silly bitch a mushroom punch to the face and let your muff-buster stick to her grill. Then slide it into her mouth and say "Honey Smacks - they're even better in the evening."
* Hook Hit it doggy style and when least expected shove your thumb in her ass and hook it sideways. Quite the attention getter. The double hook is even more effective.
* Hoover Named in recognition of the vacuum cleaner manufacturer. Banging a girl doggy style on carpet (or other abrasive surface). Pull her arms out and hold them. With dick still in her, stand up and start driving, giving incredible rug-burn to her face. To the bystander, it looks like you are operating a Hoover vacuum cleaner!
* Hot Air Balloon When you are doing a girl doggy, take it out and replace your cock with an air pump, and pump her up!
* Hot Carl After you've been ****ing a girl in the ass, quickly pull your dick out and stick it in her mouth.
* Hot Lips Hoolahan Pour Tabasco sauce all over a girl's pussy lips. When she can't take the heat anymore, pull out and hose her down.
* Hot Lunch While a girl is on her back giving you head, take a hot, steamy **** on her chest. Upon completion, congratulate her and inform her that she has just become "the lunch lady."... And it's a hot lunch.
* Houdini When doing a girl doggy style, gather up a mouthful of spit. Right before you are about to blow yer load, pull out and spit on her back. When she turns around, cum all over her face and scream "HOUDINI!"
* How not to get caught Drive a chick around 40 miles from anywhere and get her to suck you off whilst your driving. when your just about to sploodge, take it out her mouth and cum in her eyes. whilst she's distracted, open the passenger door and kick the bitch out whilst your still moving and enjoy a relaxing drive home...
* Hucklebuck, Double Hucklebuck, and Quadruple Hucklebuck As you are hitting the chick from behind, simply take your hand slide it up under her in thigh and grab the back of her neck and wrench down. That is the hucklebuck. Two hands is the double hucklebuck; both legs and hands legs over shoulders hands on back of neck is the quadruple. The first two are more you holding her up; the last is very dangerous and tricky, only for experienced hucklebucklers. Advisory 1: Makes sure she knows what’s going on because you may hear her bones popping and cracking however it’s normal and once she realizes she’s in the best sex position she’s ever been in and ever will be it won’t matter. Advisory 2: make sure she is flexible and you can hold her weight.
* Hulk Smash You're getting a blow job and suddenly you pull out and dip your dick into green (hopefully lead-based) paint. Then you proceed to cock slap her across the face, screaming "HULK SMASH!!!" Doing so will leave a green banana-shaped mark that should be documented and shared with close friends and relatives. Break her neck it's bonus points!!!
* I-Did-Her-Odd You drill a chick silly like while pouring vodka and seal fat on her. Finish up and have her pull you in a sled while she's naked in the snow like the Iditarod.
* ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT a direct variation of the Donkey Punch, while doing her from behind, you yell out "TWINKIE HOUSE!". Soon after, she will see what you're yelling about, at which point, you punch her in the face.
* Ice-T Bang a Black chick who's a big fan of SouljaBoy. Troll her IRL if she likes Ice-T. If she says no, SHOOT THE BITCH!!!
* Icey-Mike You take a ****, preferably a long turd.. no messy ones here. then place this turd, whole, in the freezer. Once it is frozen, take it out and use it as a dildo. (Condom is acceptable to prevent diseases.)
* Inglewood Jack A maneuver used in hockey fights developed by youth hockey coach Jules Winfield, which involves grabbing the opposing player's jersey over his head and repeatedly punching him in the stomach. Shows the women who's boss and has an intended side-effect of baby-killing. It is mostly used as a birth control method. May cause a giant afro to grow or develop illusions of grandeur.
* Internal Applause (See main article)
* Jamocha Shake, The This requires two partners at the minimum. You perform the "Donkey Punch 3" or "Dragon Punch" (See section "D") with the third person laying on their back under the person being ****ed. As the "mocha" mix pours out the ass it is happily received in person 3's mouth. NOTE: You can modify this to a whole new level by purchasing a real Jamocha shake prior and having the "mocha" mix poor into the shake and have person 3 drink it.
* Jamaican Slapstick When you are getting head and about to bust pull out and tense your then beat the bitch untill she is black and blue. (you may need a friend to retain her)
* Jefferson Davis, The- This requires two partners, one of them a healthy and fertile African American female. Ejaculate into a partner's mouth. That partner then blows the semen into the vagina of the female African American partner. If nine months later, you father a child with that African American woman and proceed to sell that child into slavery, you have completed a Jefferson Davis. Congratulations!
* Jesus Waffle, The- While fornication ensues, read a sermon from the early books of the first testament, and crush her with heated, cubic mallets to give her the impression of a malted waffle. That'll learn her!
* Jellyfish Surprise Pick up an ugly girl at a bar and take her back to her place. After getting a nice lay in, slide the greasy condom off and tuck it under her pillow for the next poor bastard to find.
* JHD A not very well known move, FOR EXPERTS ONLY***. Stands for the Jizz Hump Dump, basically you've got a girlfriend that you wanna get rid of, maybe she's got this ugly beef curtain or something, and you gotta get rid of that ****. You take her to space, take her outside, both of you are naked, before your dick freezes off you **** her in any hole you feel like, cum inside, and then as you pull out you give her one good hump in any direction which pleases you (EXCEPT TOWARDS EARTH, THAT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF THE JHD). Due to the fact that there is no gravity in space, she will fly away, therefore you have effectively dumped the bitch. If you think she's gonna try to grab at you when she's flying away maybe lube your arms and back so that she can't get a good grasp. THIS WORKS, or at least it has for me in the past.
* Johnny Appleseed, The- Engage in anal sex until your anus experiences a prolapse, then proceed to insert your prolapsed anus bulb into a nearby female's vagina.
* Joseph Stalin, The Find a hooker and promise her a lots of moneyyy and a higher quality of life. then when she trusts you the most viciously beat her(sumtimes just for lulz) to make suer she really trusts you. she'll try to stab you a few times but eventually become submissive. (courtesy of cudbwittier)
* Juice Box First you position yourself in the whack off position and then you flip your hand over and make sure you thumbs pointed directly at your butthole then you beat off while hammering your ass.
* Kaminky Special **** a girl from behind on the floor. Just before orgasm precede to grab the girl by the hair, rip her head back towards your chest, punch her in the face, and slam her face on the floor as you orgasm.
* Karbunkle, The Beat a woman until she comes. WARNING- Dinner may also be a byproduct of beating.
* Kevin Ramey Find an old Asian man dressed as Master Roshi and have him **** your dirty man tits till he cums all over your Jew fro. Extra pleasure is received if you like turtles.
* Klingon Cum on her forehead, but release it in ridges so that she looks like a Klingon.
* Knock and drop Come up to her, knock her out (a brick works nicely), then **** on her. You may proceed to **** her if you so desire, but ****ting on her is often pleasurable enough.
* KOOL AID When you are in the middle of sex (any position), scream out "OH YEAH!!" like KOOL AID.
* Kenyan, The While running a marathon instead of taking a cup of water at a checkpoint bang the person holding it (if you have the speed of a kenyan you should finish before you start), if you break your stride and stop running you fail and have to return to the mission contact.
03-15-2010, 11:54 PM #14
- Join Date: Nov 2008
- Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
- Age: 26
- Posts: 5,655
- Rep Power: 4468
03-15-2010, 11:54 PM #15
* Land Shark Find a girl passed out drunk. You'll need a cardboard cut out of a shark fin. Strip the girl naked. Insert the cardboard cutout in between her butt cheeks. Get 4 guys to pick her up over their shoulders and run through the party yelling "LANDSHARK!" After this, all five of you should brutally rape her.
* Lawn Mower Insert anal beads into your bitch’s ass. Assure that they will be removed gently, then yank them out as if you were starting a lawn mower.
* Leeroy Jenkins Surprise your girl by busting into her bedroom when she least expects it, then quickly bend her over and start ****ing her vigorously from behind whilst yelling "LEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!" at the top of your voice. Done properly, you should be able to blow your load and run off before she has time to realize what the ****'s going on.
* Lemon Drop This move requires drinking Bacardi 151 and passing out. After a long night of drinking, head back to her place, pass out while getting head and proceed to fill up her mouth... but not with a load.
* Leprechaun’s Revenge An Irishman bangs the ass of an English woman, then bloops on the Union Jack, takes the flag and smears the bloop on her face and toes, then fires hot potatoes at her head.
* Leprosy Get your favorite cumslut/saint in the shower and slip her the staff. Right before you bust your nut, pull out and blow the load on her face. The cum and water mix to form little leprosy drops on her face.
* Liberty Bell While having doggy style sex, take a mixing bowl and place it over your partners head and proceed to bash it with any large slab of metal until she stops moving. A good way to celebrate one of Americas great historical moments!
* Lipstick While having sex with your bitch, stick your finger in her ass and make sure you get some of that yummy chocolate sauce on your finger. Then proceed to wipe the bum fudge on her lips and yell "You're Beautiful!".
* Liu Kang When you're done with her, turn into a dragon and breathe fire on the bitch.
* Logjam Opposite of the Gravy Train. If you're giving her a Sludge Box and you think you're crapping out a good, strong piece of ****, don't let go just yet! Move your ass up and down and **** her with your turd! It usually breaks in half after a couple thrusts, but trust me, she'll love it.
* London Bridge The same as the towerbridge only this time it's man only
* The LUELinks While you're doing it doggy-style, slap her ass and shout "Lueshi pwns j00!"
* LA LI LU LE LO, The Find your elder surogate mother who had sex with your father before she had you and your twin, once you find her construct a gigantic walking nuclear tank, use the impressiveness of this accomplishment to convince her to have sex with you even though you are older than her but she's like you mother in a three way with your twin who's a ghost possessing the arm of a cowboy from Russia who's the son of your dad's girl friends. Anyway when you are about to finish yell "WHO ARE THE PATRIOTS?", if she doesn't respond "La Li Lu Le Lo" push her off so she plummets to the hanger bay below and then fist fight your brother until he gets a cold and dies. Repeat as Necessary.
* Magic Kingdom Cory Doctorow unexpectedly appears and jerks over everything in sight.
* Magic Wand While ****in' yr bitch from behind doggie shtyle, just when she's about to come, take a black dildo and cram it in her ******* and start chanting harry potter spells in Latin. If she doesn't come, well man up queer.
* Man Sandwich When your guy friend is ****ing some hot chick and you are somewhere near by, quietly sneak in, pull your cock out and shove it in his ass, then pull him, the chick and yourself together and start ramming his anus screaming "DO YOU WANT EXTRA MAYO WITH THAT MAN SANDWICH?" Note: Doing this will make you gay, but since its for the lulz, it could be worth it if pulled off correctly.
* Mario, The First, find a princess to **** (this is the hard part). Then, as you are ****ing her, try to bash her head against the ceiling until a mushroom or a flower appear. +1UP.
* Mario Kart, The While doing her (preferably anally) when you are standing and carrying her, blasting her brains out with your awesome sexy stand-up skills, make a beeping noise, and as you are about to climax scream "BLUE SHELL, GRAB YOUR ANKLES". Release her and grab her thighs, thus smacking her head against the floor (all the time you are still inside her, with her anus clenching from the concussion.) Proceed to then make engine noises, while driving her around the house/room giving her massive carpet burns down her back , while you pick up any objects of value and leaving your man-gravy inside her. Proceed to then get dressed and leave.
* Mark Foley, The First, find a teenager with a cast fetish. Proceed to grab their one-eyed snake and make them spurt on a towel. Then resign from office because you are a ****ing pedo, you sick ****.
* Master Chief When ****ing her from behind, pull out and replace your dick with a frag grenade. Run like hell.
* Mech Pilot This is when a girl is laying on her back and taking it in the ass while 2 guys are sitting around her waiting like joysticks in a mech robot - hence the name.
* The Melted Candle a.k.a. The Krispy Kreme Basically a variation of the facial. Don't ejaculate for at least a month, then when you unload your- well, load- whoever you choose to unleash it upon will end up looking like a melted candle. For bonus points, set them on fire.
* Mendoza This move requires a menstruating woman in military fatigues. Have the girl **** on the ground. You then proceed to do push-ups face first into the feces. While doing this the girl puts one foot on your back and proceeds to period all over you. Having her shout degrading comments at you is a plus
* Mexican Abortion Start off eating your pregnant girlfriend out, then in the heat of the moment slip your mouth off, but only for a second to apply either of the following, guacamole, cheese dip, hot sauce, or refried beans, then quickly reapply your mouth clenching your teeth to her draping vaginal flaps, and deliver a simple falcon punch right in the baby factory, then swallow ejected fetus.
* Mexican Housewife Very simple; cum in her hair and throw that ho down the stairs.
* Mexi Melt This is a variation of salsa-dip. After having obtained some of that fake cheese **** they give you at Taco Bell, you pour it in her ass for lube using a funnel, then **** her til you blow your load afterwords making her squirt the now brown combination of cheese, sperm, and poo into a cup, then either make her drink it or pour it in her vag.
* Microsoft While ****ing her (or him) in any position, freeze, turn blue and show a hardware error.
* Midnight Brew When you get the ****s really bad or just straight up diarrhea, **** into a coffee maker, filter it out...brew some delicious coffee. Serve, enjoy!
* Mike Tyson While you're having sex with a girl, bite the bitch's ear off. # Miltopia Find your favorite perverted furry porno pics and stroke your harbl. Then cry yourself to sleep because you are a ****ing loser.
# Missionary Helps with communication, sick ****!
# Monkey Face When a man cuts off his pubic hair, gets his cock sucked, and ejaculates in the woman (or man's) face then throws the hair in to stick to the face
# Moose Club What you do is, while you are hitting it from behind, you have to secretly put your thumbs to your ears and stick your hands out like antlers and hold them there for 10 seconds without laughing or getting caught. If you do, you have to wait for the next sex session. Highly recommended club for everyone.
# Mortal Kombat Finish her.
# Mother Nature Buttslam your gal while your dog licks Alpo out of your ass.
# Mudflaps Have her **** on your balls while at the same time your drilling her ****. Your balls should be slapping and flapping against the **** peeking out for light.
# Mudslide After coaxing a slut to toss your salad and she starts munching away you proceed to let loose some diarrhea and laugh as it runs down the side of her face.
# Muff Floss When a girl has really long pubes and you still go clam diving.
# Mung One must first have no shame. Then he/she must use a newspaper to find the obituary of a recently deceased man or woman. Then must find a buddy, with no shame, who will aid them in this act. The partners then go to the cemetary where they dig up their victim, and flip a coin. The loser, (or winner depending on how sick you are), applies his/her lips to the genitals or anus of the corpse, while the other partner procedes to climb the nearest tombstone and elbow drop the corpse's stomach. Thus forcing out a blend of rich bodily fluids and embalming materials onto the partners. This blend is called mung. The act of getting this blend on your face is called munging.
# Murder End her life.
# Mushroom Tattoo When you're doing her doggy style, pull out and whack your dick as hard as you can on her ass. It leaves an imprint that looks like a mushroom.
# NADP A very simple procedure. Have a girl lay on her back and put her feet behind her head so that her ass is sticking up in the air. Carefully tuck your nuts away in her brown treasure chest and shove your dick into her pussy. This technique requires a lot of leg strength due to the fact you'll have to be doing squats in order for it to work. Nuts in the ass, dick in the pussy. FREAK THAT BITCH TONE!
# Nail Gun Take a nail gun to the sack with you, that **** hurts. If you don’t use it on her you can probably fire it into your own bag, that’s a treat!
# Nasal Probe You have probably seen when you ejaculate that sperm sometimes shoots in two directions. Put your cock against your partner’s nose and aim your load to her/his nostrils.
# Native American Dad This is when you are having really rough sex with a girl from behind and when you're about to cum you grab her hair and your tomahawk and scalp her.
# New Jersey or "Dirty Jersey" While giving a girl anal pull your dick out preferably covered in ****, wipe it in her armpit then blow a load in her arm pit. ( Anal for how ****ty new jersey actually is and the Arm Pit for new jersey being the arm pit of america.
# New Orleans Welcome When a girl is giving you head and the two of you have bedsheets over you. You fart under the covers, pull yourself out, holding her under the sheet while screaming "NEW ORLEANS WELCOMES YOU, BITCH!!".
# New York Style Taco Begin this move eating the chick out while wasted when all of the sudden you realize how bad her box smells. To pay her back you throw up right in her box.
# Nicaraguan crab sandwich Stick your left foot in her mouth and your right foot in her ass.
# Night Caulking You want to fool around but your girl just rolls over and goes to sleep. You then angrily jerk off on her ass crack. You are then dubbed a Night Caulker. This move can be called "Night Caulking" or "The Night Caulker."
# Ninja When ****ing, at any given time pull out run around to the girls head, kick her as hard as you can in the face and yell "NINJA!!"
03-15-2010, 11:55 PM #16
03-15-2010, 11:55 PM #17
* OJ Right before you are about to start having sex, stab her, then proceed to pound the wound with your cock.
* The Oops Technique This technique is where the man moves from one hole in the woman to the other (better done doggy style, for easier access). He then continually rams himself into her, and when he is done, and the sex is most likely over with, and she wonders what the hell really happened, he gives her some lame excuse about how she was so wet that in his excitement he slipped and went into her ass. To actually convince her though, she must be a very stupid broad or both should be so drunk that neither can remember what happened in the morning....though I'm sure she still will.
* Outta Touch Pinkycock DJ All this requires is you having a 4 inch hard cock, be a dj who thinks he is really creative with his music, and a drunk ass female who will get off only by rubbing her clit cause your sorry ass couldn’t hit a g-spot without fisting,
* Over the Top You and a friend of yours need to start a threesome with a girl. Have her on her knees giving you head while your friend does her from behind. You then proceed to arm-wrestle on her back, becoming Stallone in Over the Top, a great 80s classic. 3 points if you can get Stallone himself as part of the threesome.
* PB and J Swirl Smear peanut butter on your fingers. Then finger the girl (who's on the rag FYI)with the same hand until it is bloody and peanut buttery. Then stick the same fingers up her ass then have a tasty treat after.
* Pocket hole Jig Cut a hole in your pocket, pop your throbbing erect dick through the hole, get a girl to jerk you off violently.
* Peacock Breeze Standing up nailing a girl doggy-style and she farts and blows your pubes out like a peacock's feathers.
* Pearl Harbor While she's asleep, **** her in the ass then drive home as fast as possible and wait for her to show up and kill you.
* Pearl Necklace Do her missionary. Just when you're ready to nut, pull out and shoot it all over her neck.
* Pegging Have a woman strap on a dildo and do you in the ass.
* Pele AKA "Johnny Lawrence (from Karate Kid)", AKA "Sweep the Leg". **** her from behind while you are both standing, then when she is about to get off, kick her legs out from under her.
* Pelican Punch When you're getting her from the front and you pelican punch her in the throat. While she's gasping for air you can shoot one in her mouth.
* Peppermint Chiclets Kind of like the Candy Cane but, after you blow in her mouth pull out and PUNCH the **** out of her so that you make sure to knock some teeth out. With the blood, cum, and teeth in her mouth, shake the **** out of her head and there you have them PEPPERMINT CHICLETS.
* Pendulum This is not for the beginner. Stick your index in the bitch's donkeyhole, your thumb in her flower, squeeze together until your fingers touch, and pick her up and swing her back and forth like a pendulum. The point is to get her into thinking that this is some exotic way of blowing you, but her head will be too low. Then, proceed to drop her, and dipset.
* Pepsi Challenge Stick one finger in a girl’s pussy and another one in her ass, then stick either one in her mouth and see if she can guess which hole it was in.
* Phat Phuck You've got to be ultra fat for this one. While getting head you put your fat over her head so she can't breathe. It’ll feel so good because she’s trying to breathe and takin' you all in. Hope she’s not a biter.
* Philly Fake Out You start bangin' the bitch doggy. Make sure she is facing away. Then right before you pull out, spit on her back. Then when she turns around you let her have it in the face.
* Pigeon Wing* Break you're bitches arm and have her wack you off with it
* Pink Parachute When ****ing a bitch in the ass, start ****in’ her as hard and rough as you can, then pull your dick out as quickly as you can...thus flipping her ******* inside out! * Piranha Do the damn thing, any which way you please, and when you’re about to cum, bite the bitch’s nipple off.
* Play-dough This involves some cooking. Take a nice steamy **** on a pan or a sheet of tin foil. Pre-heat your oven to 325 degrees. Form the turd to resemble a dildo, actually any shape that will fit into a woman's orphus will do. Place turd into oven for 10-15 minutes. Take out of oven and let turd harden and cool. Now you can use it as a kinky yet stinky dildo on your lovely lady! Enjoy!
* Plunger While you are ****ing your girl in the ass, squeeze her ass cheeks together and pull out as fast as you can. She’ll **** everywhere.
* Polish Falcon Travel to Poland, and capture a falcon. Take it home, and keep it in a cage until you're ****ing your bitch, at which point, you reach into the falcon's chest and pull out its still-beating heart. Shove the heart into her *******.
* Polish Toboggan Have your partner lay on her stomach at the edge of the top of a staircase, then sit on her, firmly putting your penis in her *******, grab onto her arms, and then ride the bitch down the staircase.
* Ponda Baba Use one of those pumps to get your girl's pussy lips all fat, and then pull up on your ballsack so they both resemble the mouth of the Walrus Man from the Cantina in Star Wars: A New Hope. What you do after that is totally up to you.
* Porcupine Tell your girl not to shave her pits for a couple or days. On day three, slap some lube up under her armpit and begin to pound the ever-loving **** out of her pit. Warning: WILL CAUSE CHAFING!
* Predator Get your girl to lay on her back, and you on your knees. Take a **** in your own hand, rub it all over your face, and let out a bloodcurdling scream like the alien on the movie Predator.
* Prized Marlin **** a girl from behind, and have a friend hiding in a closet or behind a couch with a camera. Let out a signature "whoop" or signal of some sort. At that time grab the girl's shoulders and pull close to you, look in your friend’s direction with the camera and smile as he takes the picture. Most of the time it’s hilarious and looks like you’re holding a prized marlin catch of the day!
* Primo Noctis Tie a rope to a church steeple, swing from a nearby tree like Tarzan and snatch someone else's bride. when at an angle of 76degrees release hand from rope and while in mid air, do a double pike, get yo kekks off and slip your cheeky bellend into the virgin bride from behind. just before the floor comes her way, try to get a photo of you crying and blubbering the words 'this is the happiest day of my life'!
* Pussy, The Ask for sex politely, only continue if woman gives consent. Continue in missionary position until both parties are satisfied, ensure proper contraception. Afterward continue a meaningful relationship - THOSE WHO DO THIS ARE PUSSIES AND FAIL.
* Quagmire, The You must be having a one-night stand. If she makes you use a condom, agree. Pretend to put it on from under the blanket. Give her a good ****ing and make sure she has the time of her life. Afterwords, say, "Here's the condom I put on," and hand it to her with a smile and never talk to her again.
* Quake III While in the missionary position, pull out a railgun and shoot her in the face. Extra points for saying "Impressive!" afterwards.
* Queen aka the Freddy Mercury - get AIDS from a guy with a mustache.
03-15-2010, 11:56 PM #18
* Ragin' Cajun Before ****ing a silly whore, pour ample amounts of Tabasco sauce on your sausage.
* Rain check This is when you take a chick to **** somewhere outside, and then you go down on her. If the stench is too much to handle, tap her puss with the back side of your hand and say call me when you get that fixed, then leave her to find her own way back home.
* Ram You're attacking from behind when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
* Rape Literally anything done for the lulz.
* Rape Spider Just for the lulz, convince your certain lady that you want to perform oral sex upon her vagoo, but being unknownst to her, go out and buy yourself a spider (the hairier the better) and hide it under your bed or whatever place you would hide a spider. Then precedest to make your lady cum. At moment of orgasm, pull out the spider and throw it on her whilst screaming this said phrase "RAPE SPIDER WANTS MOAR PLEASE" over and over until she has gone utterly bloody bug****. Bonus points can be achieved upon ****ting in her screaming mouth or by adding centipedes to her vagina.
* Rear Admiral An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (with both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab onto anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status of Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
* Red Raisin Take a bright red lipstick and schemer a nice thick layer of it upon your scrotum. Press gently onto the recipients forehead leaving a delightful raisin pattern in a glossy vibrant red.
* Red Wings Eat out your chick while she is on the rag. Do a good job and make her cum. When she is done you will have red wings painted on your cheeks.
* Red Morning V1 At a party at a friends house, whilst some guy is out of it, go to the bathroom bin, get two used tampons and tie them to your friends ears.
* Red Morning V2 Same as version one but instead you get a used fanny pad and stick it to their forehead.
* Redman's Revenge When a chick gives you an Indian burn on your dick.
* Retrograde wheelbarrow The male lifts the female by the legs as she pushes herself up onto her hands. After this the bodies move in Retrograde, the male walking slowly backwards in a wide circle.
* Reverse Ass Rape Also known as Backwards Surprise Buttsecks, Forceful Receiving and Receiving without consent RAR is a type of Rape that involves using your anus and forcing it onto someones cock. It's usually performed by prisoners who have been ass raped so many times that they don't even know how to properly rape any more.
* Rock, The While vaginally ****ing a girl turn your ass to her face, fart and then say IF YOU SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL...!!
* Rock, The V2: Force a girl to grab your hard cock, and pretening to hold it like when The Rock says the phrase aforementioned, gush the cum out.
* Rodeo This one is a classic. While doing her doggy style, get a good grip on her tits just before you blow. Then whisper in her ear, "This is just how your sister likes it." Try to stay mounted for 10 seconds.
* Rodeo 2 THE SETUP: At a party or wherever, let a few of your buddies know your gonna get some ass and to begin plan "Rodeo". Wherever you guys choose to ****, leave the door open a little bit. THE GAME: As your hitting it from behind hold her hair with one hand and scream "Giddy Up!", "Yee-Haw!", or "We got us a ho' down!" at this time your buddies run in cheering and chanting "Rodeo!". The goal is to see how long you can stay on and in as she flips out. MODIFIER: Wear a cowboy hat.
* Roman Battle Helmet Stand over and behind the bitch while she's on her knees facing away from you. Rest your balls on her eyebrows and let your dick hang down over her nose. Take a picture. Makes for a great greeting card.
* Roman Shower Surprise, The As your getting head, jam her head down so she begins to gag, choke and hopefully vomit on your dick. At this point jam 2 fingers down your own throat like a 16 year old girl and vomit on the bitches head. You may hold back until she looks up for added surprise.
* Ron and Helen When you and your chick **** on each other's faces all night long like a cheap German porno, and then smoke a big fatty made with weed the was grown from Hitler's home town.
* Run Away Train When ****ing in doggie style, get the person (who are we to judge) you are ****ing in a full nelson. Yell out "oh ****, time for some multi-track drifting" and start slowly chanting the chug... chug.... chug.... and begin increasing the chant volume and speed. Start moving in a circle until you you feel like you're moving fast enough to cause some damage and run her headfirst into a wall.
* Rumbleblumpkin Receiving a blumpkin while having violent diarrhea.
* Rumpkin Opposite of a blumpkin: your girl licks your ass while you take a piss.
* RuneScape Beg her "4 monies" while doing the same thing over and over again. * Russian Bullrider While having enraged doggy style secks with your partner, pull her close and whisper into her ear, "I have aids", and see hoe long you can stay inserted.
* Rusty Fishhook After fingering her in the ass, curve your finger like a hook, stick it in her mouth and pull the bitch out of bed.
* Rusty Pumpkin First, you take the young lady home. Then, you spread butter over her nipples. Then you become bored and tell her to get out of your goddamn house.
* Rusty Nail This is when you take a **** in a girl's pussy (Sludge Box), then turn around and **** her in her sloppy hole. I've also seen this called the Dirty Piston.
* Rusty Trombone This is quite simple actually. Get some slut to blow on your fartbox as she jerks you off; it sounds like a rusty trombone!
* Sack Attack Best done in public. Two guys go up to both sides of an unsuspecting person. Both un-zip their pants, pull out their testicles, and shout "SACK ATTACK!"
* Salty Walrus When you give a person a facial and the cum is dripping out of both nostrils.
* Sandy Pelican Take your girl to the beach, start banging her. After a while, when she's not paying attention, stick your dick into the sand and start ****ing her again until she starts screaming like a pelican.
* Scissor Kick When you're doing a girl from the back, right before you bust pull out, jump and spin and scissor kick the **** out of the back of her head.
* Screaming Seagull While doing her on the beach, pull out, dip the tip of your dick in the sand, and then go right back at it. She'll scream like a seagull!
* "Second Base With Angie"- Much is unknown about the Second Base With Angie but according to physicists it involves a nickel crazed whore mongering slut, a milk man and a blind dodo bird, and it starts and ends with a "fire hydrant" like spray of semen ejecting from every chasm, fissure, and opening on Angie Cervantes’s body. (Note Angie is not required to be in proximity for this act of hot confusing sex.)
* Shalalabod Dot Drop While an Indian girl is giving you head, pull out right before you blow and blow your load right on the dot on her head.
* **** **** While taking a crap on someone during sex is funny and erotic, I prefer this move for its stealth and planning. If you use her (or your) bathroom anytime during the day, have a baggy or condom handy and save that sucker (I'll leave the messy details up to you.) Keep it nearby when things heat up, then as you climax cram it in your mouth and kiss her, on the mouth or all over, hell I'm sure creative guys like you can think of a thousand variations, like slapping it on her, or all over her, or jamming it in her mouth. A really touching thing to do would be to have it in a condom, jam it in her ass and try to break the condom, that would bring you closer I'm sure. There is nothing quite like **** that’s seen two asses--how many couples can say that they have done that? * Shrimping You have to be a pretty sick **** to pull this off. Stick it in your chick's poopshoot, blow your load in there, then bend down and suck your load out of her ass.
* Sitting Surprise You wake up and find your girl sitting naked and you place your penis on her buttcheek. You golden shower her and make sure the piss stream hits her in the back of her precious little head.
* The Skewered Ox Two guys kneeling, facing each other, girl between them: one cock in mouth, and the other in the vag. The trick is, that the girl must be curled up in fetal position, and the two guys must hold her whole weight by the sheer force of their erected penis.
In hard mode: set a campfire under the bitch, and turn her around slowly, as a skewered ox on a barbecue party. Skull **** 1. This move involves gouging out your date's eyeballs and ****ing her in her eye socket. Actually, gouging out the eyeballs is optional. Works better if you scream 'OMFG SKULL ****!!!' while performing the move. 2. Also used as a term in internet slang for 'pwned via headshot'. Also known as '****ed in the head'.
# Sludge Box This is when you're sitting on a girl's lap, spread her pussy lips wide open, and take a dump inside. Bonus points if you piss on her legs. Also known as the Clitter ****ter.
# Slap Happy A fun game for you and your mate. You **** your bitch doggy style whilst your mate slaps her back and forth across the face cheeks with his hand, rapidly, whilst hold the bitch still with a hand full of her hair. You win if you can cum before she passes out. Works best with a 10 year old ***** bitch
# Smokestack While your girl is blowing you right before you are about to cum, get your girl to take a big hit of weed, crack, etc. After she takes the hit, she should hold it in until right when you are about to cum in her mouth. After you cum in her mouth, tell her to spit it out while she exhales the smoke.
# Snapper Thumb in the pussy and middle finger in the ass. Proceed to snap your fingers to any desired tune. Something with lots of bass is preferred.
# Snarling Beast Monster As you are pogo-stick ****ing the whore, take careful notice to when she is about to bust a she-nut, and when such glory is about to occur, carefully position yourself so you are literally sitting upon her pussy, with her right leg in front and her left leg in back of you. Now, for the finishing touch, you will suddenly take a giant dump INTO her pussy.
# Snipper Snapper Ok, it hurts, but it's worth it! Let a girl straddle YOU doggy style, reach between your legs and pull your wanker back, and put it inside her, from behind you! Once she gets going you can't stop the snap of your pecker as it either breaks the blood vessels or snips out of her so fast it hits your stomach with a snapping sound. Try it, it feels so good. Oh yeah, also have good insurance.
# Sneaky Indian While ****ing a girl doggystyle shove your dick in their ******* and when she screams cover her mouth repeatedly to make the indian noises.
# Sneaky Russian Go to your local town center, find a woman preferably between the ages of 10 and 42, stalk her for about 15 minutes and then vigorously suffocate her with a plastic bag then take her body to the edge of a large cliff, lubricate her ******* with melted chocolate fill her up with a bottle of vodka (yes, from the ass) let it dribble out a bit light the vodka and bang kick the flaming bitch off the cliff preferably onto a children's play area.
# Snowballing Sharing semen ejaculated in the mouth. ***s do this a lot. Semen is the largest constituent of any ***s diet.
03-15-2010, 11:56 PM #19
03-15-2010, 11:57 PM #20
03-15-2010, 11:57 PM #21
# Snowmobile When plugging a girl while she's on all fours, reach around and sweep out her arms so she falls on her face. Then push her around the bed while making engine noises, such as "VROOM" or "MMRRR".
# Space Docking This is an advanced scat sex move. You take a **** directly into her vagina. The most difficult part of space docking is positioning your anus directly above the vagina-hole.
# Spanish Windmill Doing your partner doggy-style and spinning both your arms wildly in circles like you're Pete Townshend during the chorus to "Baba O'Reilly" but you're cornholing someone.
# Spanish Windmill Fantastico Same as above, but with lit sparklers.
# Spider Man Bone a girl and prepare for your own orgasm. When the moment arrives, pull out and jam your member in between your middle and ring fingers, curling them down so you've got a Spider Man web grip. Shoot it in the appropriate place on her body while yelling, 'GO WEB GO!'
# Spider Man V.2 (variation on The Houdini) While ravaging a young tart from behind, tell her that the damn is about to burst. Pull out, spit on her back, ejaculate in your hand, and when she turns around to say "i love you" throw it in her face while making a "tsssssk" sound.
# Spider Man v3.0 Masturbate and cum into your hand, then in public, run up to a hot girl and yell SPIDERMAN!! And throw all your semens in her face. Trust me, girls love this.
# Spice Girls Torture While having sex with someone in any position, shove an audio speaker up their ass and play spice girls music. May we suggest the JBL L26.
# Sprinkler When you are jerkin' it right over her face and right before you blow, you pull out a mini fan and turn it on and nut into it so the jism is distributed evenly.
# Stamp Lay the special lady out flat on her back, then start to take a dump just enough to get one poking out, the proceed to sit on her repeatedly in different spots. Feel free to connect the dots, if you are into that sort of thing.
# Stealth Bomber Wait till your chick is sleeping then get started on punching your clown. When you are about to blow, unload your cargo all over your sleeping beauty. She will never know what hit her. Oh, and don’t forget to take a dump somewhere (since you freaks like that so much).
# Stephen Colbert Have sex... With America!
# Stinkin Lincoln Much like an Abe Licoln, except replace the cum with **** gathered from your own arse.
# Stove-pipe Works best if you have the girl's head and shoulders on the ground and her ass propped up against a bed or couch. Then, you hold her up as vertical as possible and screw downward into her. It's tricky but pretty comical if you pull it off.
# Stranger You sit on your hand until it goes numb and then you jerk off; it's like somebody completely new is doing it! Recommended by Lil' Jon.
# Strawberry shortcake Right before you blow your load while a chick gives you head, take your cock out of her mouth, then punch her in the nose until she bleeds, then jizz all over her face.
# Strawberry cheesecake pull an 'angry dragon' (see above) on your girlfriend and when she is looking really mean at you punch her right on the nose! Do it hard and fast so the blood gushes out. Time for desert!
# Strawberry Milkshake Penetration of your choice, when your about to unload, pull it out and cum just under her nose, then punch her in the nose hard enough to break it so the blood and the cum mix to make a 'Strawberry Milkshake'
# Suck Boob Take off bra and proceed to lick her breasts and then start licking and sucking her tit just like you would if it was her clit (hey, that rhymes!) while caressing her breast. If she doesn't start moaning try caressing her clit while licking her tit(s) (rhymes again!).
* Sunglasses - Ray Bans a.k.a. Arabian Sunglasses Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. Your can is on her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try
* Sunglasses - East Indian Eye Goggles Much like the Arabian sunglasses, Put a nut on each eye socket, then lean back and with your brown star give her a kiss on the forehead.
* Superman When nailing a girl doggie style right as you are about to cum you pull out and bust your load all over her back and flip her over onto the blankets when the jizz dries and she she stands up the blanket should be stuck to her back giving the illusion that shes wearing a cape just like superman! A variation is that after you bust on her back with the excuse of you cleaning her up, grab a roll of paper towels and then stick a long strip on her back and tell her to stand up. The towels will stick and make her look like superman! Soulja Boy made this sex move popular by coining up the phrase "Superman that ho", which is nothing like "Spiderman that whore" or "Wonder Woman that prostitute".
* Superman2 Another version of the 'Superman'. You bang your chick doggy style, or standing up with her bending over, at the top of some stairs. As you being to come, pound her harder and harder, as you ejaculate push her down the stairs. Works wonders for your relationship.
* Superman3 While on a tall rooftop ****ing her doggystyle, tell her to put her fists out straight. Then throw her over the edge.
* SURPRISE!! When you go down on a chick to find out its a dirty god damn lie!!
* Surprise Truffle While ramming a chick in the ass, tell her you have to blow your load and you want to do it in her mouth. When she turns around and opens her mouth, you also turn around and drop a huge log in her face! HINT: eat a huge meal beforehand.
* Suspension Bridge Get a girl on all fours. One guy takes her from the rear, the other gets his cock smoked. They give the cue and the guy in back pulls her legs out and the one in from grabs her arms so that none of her body is touching the bed. She's just suspended between two cocks. Also known as a Pig Roast
* Swedish Rodeo While having unprotected sex with a Swedish woman, bend over and inform her that you have AIDS, or any other fun STD. Time how long you can stay inside her when she starts moving.
* Sea Shark find a "floater" (aka dead body in the water) wedge a piece of card board in her ass and then have sex with the body while one of your "bros" (aka douche bag friends) move the body like a shark and another hum the jaws theme. When you jizz yell SEA SHARK! [see Land Shark]
* Syrian Sanchez While she is being water-boarded, proceed to go ass-to-mouth.
03-15-2010, 11:58 PM #22
# Tea Bebble Slide When you slide your balls from a girls feet all the way up her body.
# Tabletop Once your girl is naked, throw her on the table and **** her hard and fast while you are standing on the ground. This way you can watch her boobs shake with the action and she can watch your dick go in and out. Extra bonus if you can get another girl to lick and slap your ass while you’re at it!
* Texas Rodeo You start this by having at least a half-dozen friends hide in the room. Then, while she is on top of you, have all of them come out and chant, "Rodeo! Rodeo!" See how long you can keep her on you.
* Thanks for the Memory Every single time before you **** the bitch, give her a dose of GHB, and then wait till its takes effect. Tell her whats happening before you do it, then when she comes to, tell her you're done. You don't have to **** her, you could get a Ho in if you fancy. She'll never really know if your telling the truth or lying, and it'll really mess with her mind.
* Thanksgiving Dinner You start stuffing a bitch in her ass, and then you stick a fork in her back and be like, "Ya done, bitch?!"
* The Angry Congressman Ejaculating in ones hand and throwing it at a chick, preferably from behind. As seen in Silence of the lambs
* The ATm Also known as Ass To Mouth. What you do is have sex with a chick, do your business, and then stick it in her poopshoot. Then, once in and you're about to blow, pull it out and have her give you head, thereby cleaning the **** off your dick. And completing the transfer of ass to mouth--such a filthy move to do to a chick--takes away all her self respect.
* The Avenger If you’re ever in a situation where you **** a girl, and she gets off and refuses to get you off its time for revenge. It’s best if she’s laying on her stomach so she doesn’t know what’s going on. Do what you got to do to get yourself off as quick as you can. Take good aim and blow your wad on her back and in the back of her hair. It’s messy, and it'll show the bitch who's boss. Peeing on her awards extra points!
* The Balcony While ****ing a girl from behind on a balcony slowly slide out and let your friend or any random hobo slide in and
run down to below the balcony and wave to her. By the time she notices, she is having some hobo's junk all up in the flava flav PUSS.
* The Bocaj upon walking into your local bar have a stranger insult your bitch and beat your ass.( The more stitches you get the more of a pussy you are. Up to 14 stitches.)
* The Boston Strangler Slowly and passionately take your girl from behind doggie style. When she least expects it, lean forward and choke the ****ing life out of her. Pick up the pace and chant, "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" until the lifeless bitch passes out.
* The Caroline Utton Smash While ****ing a girl in the ass, take out an African clubbing stick and hit her really hard in the kidney until she throws up. When she does act really mad and kill that bitch with the beating club.
* The Chedderhead when you're taking your girlfriend in the butt you wait until you are about to climax, then you take the handy dandy cheezewizz (we all know you have some in your room) and fill it up, simultaneously sticking the head of your baloni pony in her no-no cavern and letting loose.
* The Chipmunk When the bitch is sucking your balls and has one in each cheek.
# The Christopher* Rape a preteen girl.
# The Cotton Gin Cum in her mouth, then dislocate one of her arms and crank it until she either pees or ****s. Then take the waste materials, make a shirt out of them, and give it to her for her birthday.
# The Dazzler Cross your index and middle fingers for her pussy, cross your pinky and ring finger for her ass, and work the clit with your thumb.
# The Dirty Burrito Ok, before you **** your bitch you both need to wrap up like a burrito in a sheet (preferably white or light yellow). Then you both piss and **** in it as much as you can while still wrapped up and then ****. Eating the burrito at the end is optional.
# The Dirty Cowboy For this one you need two hats one for your wife and one for you. You give her anal and right before you are about to bust throw it in her ear. She will be all like "Why did you cum in my ear?" And then you're like cause I can bitch!. Jump on her shoulders and see how long you can hang on,
# The Dolphin Funny because so many have experienced it. While hitting a girl from behind, you go to throw it in her butt but she looks over her shoulder shaking her head saying "eh eh." Therefore you get to choose another place of your calling to throw your load.
# The Earnhardt Jr. Take a large ****, make sure it’s sloppy, but don’t wipe, then titty **** her. This leaves a nice brown streak on her stomach, like a tire skid, thus, the Earnhardt Jr.
# The Earnhardt Sr. Only works on a bed near a wall. While hitting it from behind, suddenly jam your unit up her ass with no warning or lubrication. If done correctly she will leap forward to try to escape, hitting her head against the wall and getting knocked the **** out.
# The Electrician Get a girl pregnant, then wait 8 months, then get one of those high powered electric hand-fans and ram it in her crotch and turn it on. Homemade abortionator!
# The Eskimo Nut in a girl's mouth, but don’t let her swallow. Instead, make her hold it in her mouth and dunk her in a 55 gallon drum of ice water. Make her stay in there until the cum freezes, then let her swallow it. Frozen cum-gurt! Bon appetite!
# The Felcher When a man really likes a girl he will cum into her ass and suck it out with a straw.
# The Fritzl You know what to do.
# The Gold Rush As your hand heads south, waste no time... go for the gold and fist the bitch. As she screams in agony tell her you're digging for rings and need money to buy tomorrow’s lunch.
# The Grapevine Grow a large patch of hair around your ******* and take a bunch of laxatives, then **** for a week but don't wipe. This will leave your anus with a nice patch of dingle berries. When you're doing her from behind, pull them off your ******* and feed them to her like grapes.
# The Grudge **** When you get the chance to **** your ex one last time, push her face down in the pillow, spit on her ass, stuff your dick in her hard. When she screams, tell her "don't worry baby, it’ll only hurt till the blood lubes you up.” Gives you the satisfaction of ****ing the bitch who ****ed you over.
# The Hershey Kiss Take her pants off nice and easy. Lay her face down place your dick on her leg and start kissing her ass cheeks. Like a snake about to strike a rat, pucker up and dive your tongue into her Hershey highway. Whether she jumps or not, dig for some of her special dark chocolate.
# The Infamous Switcheroo This is tricky. and has some unwanted consequences from time to time; however, it is hilarious. First, you get a friend of yours who is about your build--size and looks don’t even have to match that well; however, it can't be a fat guy and a skinny guy. What you do is have one friend hide in the bathroom before you start railing your chick, then turn out the lights and start banging. Then in the midst of this you tell her you have to go to the bathroom, at which time you do so, and then when you enter the bathroom, your friend comes out and you hide. He immediately goes to town and once she says "Hey, you're not Sean" you and your friend bolt for the door running out butt-ass naked while yelling "SWITCHEROOO AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Just be sure it's not your place or leave anything of value behind; that way you never have to speak to the slut again. A.K.A. The Trojan Horse.
03-15-2010, 11:59 PM #23
# The Iron Sheik When you do it the old country way; You suplex someone, put them in a camel clutch, break their back, then **** them in the ass to make them humble. (This is done to someone like Brian Blair for God, Jesus, and Mr.McMahan.)
# The Jared You have sex with a girl from behind and right before you cum, you beat her to death with a crowbar and bury her in your backyard with the other sluts.
# The Jelly Bat A great way to get revenge on a fat chick for tricking you into drunken sex. While in the missionary position, sit up. Grab the corner of the biggest fat roll on her stomach and tear it off. Wielding it like a baseball bat, beat her to death with it while screaming bloody murder.
# The jRok This is best done with an amateur slut. When doing her doggy-style, inset BOTH thumbs in her pooper and tap your fingers on her ass cheeks like you’re bored. Then, say 'it's natural baby' or 'bet you never had this before?'. After awhile, pull out, flip her over and start jerking it off like you're really close. When she looks at you and says 'did you go?', say, 'With you? Hell no! I have standards'. Then pass her off to your friend that never gets pussy.
# The Kennedy While sitting on the edge of a pool getting blown, wait till you're about to bust nut. At that second push her head under water so she is shocked and her throat closes around your cock!
# The L.D. Sledge while doing a prostitute pray to Odin and drink gnarly mead. When she least expects it pull out a giant sledge hammer and smash her skull. (Bonus points earned if you use ravens)
# The Life Guard If you’re having a threesome on a boat, wait till you're done, then offer to go skinny dipping. Have one guy (possibly the best swimmer of you two) jump over with her, then have the other throw you a life line and take off leaving her naked in the water.
# The Mike Hamlin Fetal Devourer First, you need to look like a rat/mouse type deal(thx Ben P.) then you just need to foolishly do one of the moves listed above or below this one and get her pregnant and eat the fetus.
# The Missionary You slip your penis into and out of the woman while she's lying on her back, with you on top. Eventually, the friction will cause you to ejaculate. This is unsuitable (and unobtainable) for the 18-year-old university freshman dip****s who find anything else in this list funny.
# The Mortar When taking a bitch from behind, get a good load saved up. Just as you’re about to bust a nut pull out, put your cock on the crack of her ass and release the load. If your aim is good, you can hit her in the back of the head.
# The Octopus No one except Azrael's ex actually knows what this is, but apparently it involves a lot of blood coming out of your dick.
# The Patriot While you are having doggystyle sex with a girl, start karate-chopping her back; this will make red lines across it. Then punch her in one corner of her back (turning it blue) and ejaculate using that corner as a target. Finally, rip the skin off of her backside and run or ride on horseback through town, waving your brand new "flag". Extra credit if it's July 4th.
# The Q-TIP Get a chick to start blowing you and right as you're about to blow it in her mouth, smack both her ears on the side of her head with your hands so her head starts ringing...then proceed to yell at her in a different language. Romantic!
# The Raging Bull While you're taking a girl from behind, place a fist against either temple with the index finger extended. When you're about to come, repeatedly headbutt her in the back of the skull while roaring at the top of your lungs.
# The Reality Get turned down for a date by every woman you know including your mother. Jack off to Britney Spears photos, then go to ED and talk about your smooth sex moves.
# The Rick James When having sex with a woman, preferably from the back. When the male is ready to ejaculate, he pulls out and ejaculates on his hand. The male then proceeds to spit on her back as to deceive her into thinking he ejaculated on her backside. He then walks up to the female and asks "What did tha' five fingers say to the face?", and when she replies "What?" the man slaps her with his ejaculate filled hand and replies "SLAP... Im Rick James bitch!"
# The Rodney Dangerfield When she does not get any respect (aka the hate ****).
# The Rude While you're ****ing a girl, take a bottle of cheap wine, like Sutter Home, or Reunite, and bash her over the head with it, then rape her with the broken bottle.
# The Ruthie You need to be missing half your arm first. Use your stub to fist (or nub) your bitch.
# The Sean Connery If ever you find yourself in a drunken Scottish whiskeyrage then just hit your bitch but IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIZE WITH YOUR BEST CONNERY (Circa Highlanders) IMPRESSION. She'll laugh and you'll get to keep ****ing in the knowledge that you finally gave her one in the face.
# The Sagami Get on all fours and have your bitch shove a Hickory Farms salami in and out of your ass while she is jerking you off.
# The Shawshank Redemption Carve out the pages in a book with a hole on the side to insert your penis into. Good for Animu fans. As well as masturbating in public and jizzing in people's faces.
# The Sneaky Pete Get her in a shower stall in the change room after her cheerleading practice or whatever she does (field hockey?) Make sure she’s alone or I'm sure she will call for help.
# The Sneak Attack Get in an argument with a chick saying you don't want to have sex. Then tell her to go the **** home. When she just got out the front door, go after her, pull it out, and do her in the hallway.
# The South Bronx Sub Find a BDSM sub online, talk her up to gain a bit of trust and arrange a meeting at her place (use the excuse that you have no good equipment at yours). Once there, tie her up and lick her carpet until she's good and ready to go, then take her TV and leave. Bonus points can be gained if you take stop to blow a load on her on the way out of her house.
# The Southern Gentleman This is when two incredibly fat SEC football fans (think UGA) are consoling each other after a big loss. They cry in each other's arms in their hotel room. Next thing you know Lloyd and Maxwell are having 700+ lbs. of sweaty sex that could only occur on a hot, humid Georgia night.
# The Stephen Lin Before having sex with an Asian ladyboy with glasses, you lube it's ass with refried beans. Then you proceed in having anal sex with it until you spew your gue. After you wrap up, you have the ladyboy crap it's fajita mix on your chest and dig in.
# The Telephone Balls in the mouth, cock in the ear. Ring, ring, bitch.
# The Teddy Roosevelt Just before you cum, pull out, ram a sizable stick up the girl's vag/ass (whichever you were just using), get in front of her face, ram your dick into her mouth, put your finger to your lips, and say "Shhh".
# The Three Legged Retarded Hippopotamus First, hit her over the head until she's retarded. Then cut off her left arm and **** the armhole.
# The Topeka Destroyer (See "Roman Shower Surprise" above.)
# The Track Star Get a stopwatch. Start hitting it from the back in the pink. She looks like she is in the starting blocks. Now when you’re nice and hard and starting to cum, pull out and RAM it in her ass without her knowing, and start the watch and see how long it takes her to sprint the 40 to the bathroom. If she runs at the right time it will look like she has left a vapor trail.
# The Transporter While ****ing a girl let your cum loose inside of her and send her over to another guy afterwards. When penetration with the other guy commences and your semen touches said guys penis, the girl becomes The Transporter. There is no actual time limit as to when the girl becomes The Transporter after sexual intercourse, but presumably, a time period of 24 hours would be sufficient. Another side to this form of transportation would be in the form of pregnancy and child birth. Picture this scenario. When you **** a girl, you could unwillingly become the father of a different girls child. You ejaculate into or onto girl #1's vagina, she then have sex with a second guy or even a third guy. This third guy then have sex with another girl while your semen from girl #1 is still to be found on the third guy's penis. The other girl, which you presumably havn't even met, then becomes pregnant from your semen.
# The Tumbleweed This incredibly romantic act occurs after receiving road head. Upon climax, you proceed to open the door and boot the bitch out of the car. Bonus points if she does the tuck-and-roll.
03-16-2010, 12:00 AM #24
* The Tuna Helper If you're too drunk to get it up, or your woman is an unholy bitch and you can't stand to **** her any more, just shove what ever you can conjure as a hard-on in her twat and hump away until she at least fakes it to get you off of her. If she's a bitch, donkey punch her about 2 minutes into it. Then you don't waste your time.
* The Walking Zombie This is when you bust a nut in both of a girl's eyes. It's called the walking Zombie because when she's trying to find a towel to wipe it off, she'll be swaying her arms back and forth with her eyes glued shut!
* The Wet Willy! When you are getting head, as you are about to pop your cork, you wet your finger and stick it into the girl's ear. You might want to stick your other finger into the side of her mouth so she does not bite your rod.
* The White Dragon While she is giving you head, jizz in her mouth and then after, punch her in the stomach so she breathes white fire.
* The White Glove This instant classic can be performed from almost any sexual interaction but it works best while receiving oral. All you have to do is cum on your hand, then with your hand covered, slap a bitch. Challenging her to a duel afterwords is optional.
* The Yoda While receiving oral pleasure, blow your snot all over her, lift her by the throat and make her quote Star Wars.
* The Titanic Have her give you a BJ in a hot tub. When she comes up for air hit her in the face with a big bag of ice.
* Thunderstorm While in 69 position and your chick is licking your bunghole, let a thunderous fart and start the golden shower on her chest. (Better if multiple farts.)
* Thundering **** Guzzler Before your dick is inserted into the ****, hold a Mentos in front of your rod as to shove it in while your cock penetrates. **** her for a while, making sure the candy is near the womb (nearer the cervix the better). Then tell your bitch that you're gonna shove a huge dildo up that va-j-j, but actually make it a hose. stick it into the gaping hole and then pour diet coke down the tube. Prepare for the cavernous vagina to thunder loudly. Also can be done in butthole
* TJ Woody After she is done licking your balls, she proceeds to make you a sandwich.
* Toilet Slut Someone that acts as a human toilet for others drinking pee and eating ****.
* Toboggan After any coital maneuver that produces a corpse, grease its chest with fecal matter or seal fat (see: i-did-her-odd) and ride the cadaver down the stairs. Best performed on a partner with pigtails for improved handling.
* Tony Danza A takeoff of the donkey punch is called the Tony Danza. When you are about to cum while doing a girl from behind, you say "who's the boss?" and stick it in her ass. Before she says anything you shout "TONY DANZA!" and punch her in the back of the head.
* Tony Danza Slap Whilst a broad is suckin you off, pull your boner to the side and let it hit her in the face screaming, "whos the boss bitch." Continue doing it until she answers correctly.
* Toothache When a girl gives you oral and you’re about to blow, nut on her teeth and proceed to brush her teeth your penis. Continue for two minutes which is the standard brushing time.
* Tootsie Roll Subway When you **** someone as hard as you can in their ass, spread both her asscheeks and your asscheeks open and take a **** in her ass.
* Tootsie Roll Subway Crash Do exactly as told in the Tootsie Roll Subway, but after you **** inside someone, kick them right in the ******* while screaming.
* Tossing Salad Well known by now. A prison act where one person is forced to chow starfish with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, jism, etc.
* Tower of White Power You simply say, "bitch please" while hittin' that with your very own tower of white power down below, then when she turns around, hit her in each eye with each one of your balls and say "DONKEY KONG, YAHHHHHH!"
* Tower Bridge This one involves 2 guys and a girl, or 3 guys (see London Bridge). The girl is giving one of the guys a blow job while the other guy is doing her from behind. Then both guys stretch out their arms thus forming a towerbridge.
* Train One girl in a room, a bunch of guys **** her one after the other. A train is different from a gang bang in two distinct ways: First, the guys **** consecutively, not concurrently. Second, there have to be at least seven, or it's not a train.
* Truck Driver While you're doin’ her from behind, you stick your thumb in her unsuspecting ass and move your hand like your driving a truck, talking all sorts of trucker slang.
* Truth Offer her some champagne, light some candles. Barry White is a good choice of music. Scented oils are nice--better still are scented lotions, I always liked that one. Satin or silk sheets (I happen to like the texture of flannel), down pillows are good, especially oversized. Start with a massage or something equally relaxing, move towards kissing (take your time with this). Relax and get into it; there’s nothing quite like a good long kissing session. Heavy petting is only natural at this point. During foreplay, take it easy and try to satisfy her as much as possible. If the foreplay rocks then the sex is just really amazing icing. Don’t rush the foreplay, but move on when you are sure that she is physically ready for the next step. Make sure that you are also aroused--that is key, as you don’t want to go in too soft; it's just not worth the embarrassment and could totally ruin the atmosphere. The rest I'll let you decide on but here are some tips: be a gentleman and let her finish first, unless she verbally implies that you should; do not release your orgasm anywhere inappropriate; when it's over, hold her for a little while until the shivers pass, then suggest a hot bath or shower. You did it big guy, you had sex without doing anything wrong or stupid. Believe it or not, she will enjoy this and it will evolve over time. THEN **** ON HER BELLY.
* Trumpkin A Blumpkin given to Donald Trump. EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT!
* Tucson T-Bone This is the same as the jackhammer but with a slight twist... literally a twist. When you are doing the jackhammer make her twist yours balls. It’s quite an experience.
* Tuna Melt You're going down on a chick, lapping away, and you discover that it's her time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.
* Twelve Go number 1 in her number 2. It's that simple.
* Two Pointer You make the girl sit on the toilet and then you sit on her lap. While she's jacking you off you have **** and make sure it falls between her legs into the bowl.
* "The Tyler Johnson" this is when you take an empty bottle of sobe life water halfway full and stick your cock in it and start with your normal sessions of masturbation.
U * Uh-Oh Oreo (a.k.a. E.L. Fudge) When a ****** is sandwiched between two white people
* Ultimate Houdini, The While giving it to her up the ass, move to a window and trade partners. Before she notices, run outside and wave to her just outside the window. Ideal for breakups, and best done when she doesn't know about the other partner.
* Ultimate Pleasure Take your dick and put it in a mousetrap. You'll cum instantly.
* Under Dog After a hard session at the gym, your armpit muscle begins to twitch; thus giving you the ability to jerk a guy off with your armpit muscle.
* Underwater While getting head, push her head towards your body and hold it to see how long she can hold her breath.
* Up on Blocks When a women is on her Period, The term comes from a car under service. It is undrivable because it is "up on blocks"
* Upside-downey-penial wife-spin OK, you need a strong dick to do this, but you posision her comfortly on your dick and spin her around untill you cum and/or she get so dizzy she pukes. then you raise up and let her fall upside down off teh bed.
* Valsalva The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.
* Veal Cutlet (aka The Screaming Seagull) When a man is having sex with a girl on the beach or a sandbox, then pulls out, using the juices on his schlong to roll it around in the sand to collect the breading and then continue having sex (hence the penis is the breaded veal cutlet)
* Vegetarian Hot Lunch Same as the Hot Lunch, but done with clingwrap over the girl/guys face. This way they can chew your **** through the plastic film, savoring the texture but without the flavor.
* Verheij Style You got to be very fat for this and put your fat into her ass and yell "Omg Zezima Cum in mah belly!!!!"
* Viking, The You are having sex with a girl and right before you cum you pull out a battle axe and chop off her head, while screaming "FOR ODIN." The tricky part of this one is concealing the battle axe.
* Viper Bite Put your middle finger in a chick’s pussy and your thumb in her ass and try to snap your fingers.
* Volcano Blow your load on someone's ass crack. Then wait for them to fart and cause the cum to spurt out.
* Watchman, The take the girl to a top-story hotel room with large windows overlooking the city and get her into a bath robe. Violently **** her around the room, trying to break as much glass as possible, and make sure she does not remove the bath robe. After she's suitably exhausted grab her by the front of her robe, pick her up and throw her out of the window.
* Waiter Set a plate of food on your girl's back while giving it to her from behind, and enjoy a hearty meal while doing the nasty.
* Walrus Shoot your load in her mouth and before she gets a chance to swallow pinch the middle of her lips together and hit in her in the back of the head and your **** will ooze out the sides of her mouth like a walrus's tusks.
* Walnut Ripple Slowly teabag your partner as she lays directly underneath you until boredom sinks in. At this point punch her in the womb (perhaps even screaming falcon punch) which should cause her to jump up and headbutt you in the sack, thus inducing lulz for both of you.
* War You and a buddy find a chick. Get her on hands and knees. She blows one guy while taking it from the other guy. Since you are already facing each other, play cards. Very demeaning and fun!
* George Washington, The Related to the Abe Lincoln. Have your ladie friend give you head and right before you blow your load you pull out her hair and cum on top of her head then put her hair back on. Make sure you are far away from water.
* Washington Surprise You're sitting in a chair or on the edge of the bed while your girl is giving you head. She doesn't want you to cum in her mouth so you promise to let her know. When you're about to nut, you tell her, and just as she pulls her head off your cock, you stick your dick between her legs and shoot it all over her face. Then you pull out a dollar bill, stick it to the nut on her forehead, and yell "Surprise!"
* Waterfall Alright, first have your girl bend over and grab her ankles, leaving her ass high in the air and her head low to the ground. While banging her brains out, pull it out and proceed to piss on her goouch (area connecting the pussy and
*******) and watch the piss flow down her ass and onto her face like a waterfall!
03-16-2010, 12:03 AM #25
* Western Grip When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use; hence, western.
* Wet Jessy Sneak into a girls bedroom while she's sleeping and Jack Off on her.
* Wet Jesse James Creep into a strangers house and **** a virgin while she is sleeping.
* Wet sigh to drip dry grab your girl and do everything you can to make her horny, without pleasuring her. slowly get her naked and act as if your just ready to rip your own clothes off and bone her. then, you run away with her clothes and leave her to dry out.
* The Wet Biscuit (aka Ookie Kookie) 4 or more guys in a circle jerk and a biscuit is in the middle. The last man to jizz on the biscuit has to eat it. - Marvelli
* Wheel of Fortune AKA "Price is Right" AKA "Lucky Leo". Sit a girl down in a chair that spins. Have her lean over and stick out her tongue, then precisely place you dick by her tongue, then spin the chair around as fast as you can.
* Wheelbarrow Have your lady down on her hands doing her from behind with her legs out straight straddling your hips. Then walk around the room like pushing a wheelbarrow. You can tell her to pick **** up while she's down there too, but that's optional.
* Werewolf Before having sex, shave your pubes. Get a girl to suck you off, cum on her face, and throw the pubes on her face.
* Windshield Wiper When doing a chick in the ass, pull out your dong right before busting a nut and spray Windex over her back so she thinks you nutted. She'll turn around and then you jizz in her eye and wipe it on her face back and forth with your dong. (Particular emphasis is placed on the forehead and cheeks)
* Winetaster, The (Also known as "Vinsmageren" in it's native tongue). When wanting to perform this act, always have a wineglass by the bed at all times. Be sure that your girl has her period. While laying with your mouth full of labia between her legs, quickly grasp for the wineglass while your mouth is full of periodblood and intensely do a lot of gurgling (thus giving the image of a wine taster.)
* Windy City When you (or your partner) starts licking the ******* and then the other partner farts in the face.
* Wizard Hat and Robe First, while you are getting your thing on, explain that you like to role play with costumes. You proceed to pull out your Wizard Hat and Robe. Then you start fondling your partner and say, "I cast level 4 Eroticism on you, so that you are actually hot." Before they say anything you start doing the nasty and shout, "I cast level 1,000,000 Multiple Orgasm AOE and we both die in our ecstasy!!" Once finished, put the hat and robe on your partner and say, "Your turn, Gandalf."
* Wolfbag Tie a thin piece of thread around a piece of bacon. Get your girl to swallow it, keeping hold of the end of the thread. Bang it up her arse. Just when you are about to blow pull the thread, causing the bacon to come back up. This will make her gag, which will in turn make her bum hole contract giving you a tight sensation.
* Woody Woodpecker While a chick is sucking on your balls, repeatedly tap the head of your cock on her forehead.
* Wounded Pigeon After getting extremely aggravated with some tramp, break her arm. Shortly following this you force her to give you a hand job.
* Xanadu also known as "Rosebud". Take a woman to your huge mansion, **** her and then wait until she goes to sleep. When she does, yell "ROSEBUD!!!" and shove a snowglobe up her ass.
* X, Professor have your women or random ho break yor spine so that you will be confined to a wheel chair, then tell her to **** off because you will now be able to blow your self off and will no long need a woman
* X-treme Blow Job get a blow job while doing something extreme
* Xanadu: the Return Take a women to your mansion, have sexual relations with her and make sure that you bang her hard enough to knock her out, then dump her off somewhere near the Northern Pole, have one of your Man Servants wait for her to wake up. When she does, shove a snow globe in her vagoo. Bonus points if it breaks.
* Yellow Submarine While receiving oral copulation, urinate in the oral cavity. Then proceed to have sex with her mouth-hole before she can spit/swallow.
* Yummy toast Cum on a piece of toast and feed it to the willing partner. As she eats it punch her in the spine, causing her to spit it out then **** on her head.
* Yoda, The While a chick is giving you head blow snot on her and then force her to speak like Yoda, double points for carrying her around as a backpack and still having sex with her
* Zamboni You are doin’ a chick from behind. When you are about to bust, you pull it out and spray it on her back, then you spread it over her back with your penis, like a Zamboni.
* Zany Zamboni You and your partner start from one end of the ice rink. You both get up to speed toward the goal opposite of you. Once at a proper speed, you and partner begin to **** in a position where the female lays on her back. In order for proper kix, try to reach climax when you both cross the goal line.
* Zebra When two ******s **** one honky.
* ZebraV2 when two white people do one black person.
* Zombie, The This is best done with an easy victim. When she is giving you head and you know you're about to jizz you pull out and blow it in her eyes, break her fingers and watch her walk around like a zombie trying to get it out... Perhaps leave out the breaking fingers part.
03-16-2010, 12:04 AM #26
oh man this sh!t is way too long to readأشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله
"You will enjoy any activity in which you are fully present, any activity that is not just a means to an end. It isn't the action you perform that you really enjoy, but the deep sense of aliveness that flows into it." - Eckhart Tolle
++ Positive Crew ++
03-16-2010, 12:06 AM #27
03-16-2010, 12:09 AM #28
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03-16-2010, 12:16 AM #29
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